Aim for the stars, hit the moon, suffocate.

I dislike that sucking cock is always viewed as submissive. I'm can tell you for a fact that you will not feel in control while I hold your legs open and wrench your shaking hands away from me while you beg for me to stop milking orgasm after orgasm with my soft lips. hearing me pant and gasp for air when I pop it out of my throat should fill you with a nervous anticipation like a pretty little prey animal at the tip of a sharp spear.

being into stupid things that suck and are bad is really one of the best things you can do for your mental/physical health and overall wellbeing

having many trinkets and books is so cool and fun until you realize you have to dust them

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog

Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry

Once you learn that the megalodon mostly lived in relatively shallow waters you’re like okay yeah people thinking it’s still alive is just wishful thinking huh

one of those apocalyptic things that we have decided not to talk about is that straight guys do not wash their hands in the bathroom. its fucking crazy pills man.

Ants have invaded my bedroom even though I don’t keep any unsealed food or water in here and the cats aren’t even trying to kill them they’re just watching

I like when healer characters are the blunt ones. Your paladin woman needs to be the sweetiepie who cares about the wellbeing of the group and your healer woman needs to be like House MD. she should be like if you’re not wall to wall pulling I’m not healing you