i'm calm i'm chill i'm doing things with phil

I know I haven't posted here in a while. Here meaning all three of my tumblr blogs: cappellapalatina (the general and hannigram-focused blog), busymarina (my studyblr account) and muchdan (the dan and phil blog). At different stages of my tumblr life, I've accumulated a few thousand followers on all of these combined. This is literally the biggest platform that I ever had. Which is why I wanted to pop up on your dash to share something. The very worst thing happened. My country is at war. I know you've been hearing about what's happening in Ukraine all around, but I realized that most of the news cover some high-level stuff -- the politics, the history, the horrors of war in scary numbers. Not many have heard what war has been like from the perspective of a normal person. Like me, my friends, colleagues. Just someone like you. Before the war, I lived in Kharkiv. It's a big, modern city. Every day, I went to work in the office downtown, went for lunch and shopping in the nearby mall, grabbed coffee with a friend, and spent evenings in my wonderful apartment. It was blissful life, truly. I didn't know it then. We knew Putin was going to do something. Kharkiv is close to Russia's border, and for the weeks before the war, we lived in constant fear. I started thinking about moving to Ukraine's western regions. I packed bags. This was heartbreaking. Imagine having to flee your home, your favorite place in the world. I also had a cat, so I couldn't take much stuff with me. I packed very few shirts, I didn't know if I should take summer clothes if I need them. I was hoping I'd return soon. It's been a month and I'm nowhere close to going home. I was lucky to escape the very first day -- on the bus, with my colleagues, their families, and pets. It took us three days to travel across the country and I've been here ever since. My partner and I rent an apartment from a nice old lady, but every day I miss home. I'm so angry that my life was stolen from me. I still have my job, my cat, all my family is safe for now, so I'm very lucky. But I'm so angry and devastated. Every day I try to check if my house still stands if it wasn't destroyed by bombs. I know this horror won't end any time soon. I know people who've lost their friends, families, pets. Those who haven't been in contact with their loved ones for weeks have no idea what's happened to them. Mariupol, the city on the shore of the Sea of Azov, is in a literal hell. People there have nothing, no food, water, electricity, gas. They have to drink snow, which is gone by now. They can't escape because civilian cars and buses are being shot by Russian soldiers. They live through some things we're used to seeing only in films or video games. I'm not asking you for anything. I just wanted to share what war is like from the perspective of a tiny human existing in the midst of it all. But I know that many of you want to help. Here are some of the ways to do that. Reach out to someone you know from Ukraine. Ask them how they're doing, tell them you're thinking of them. A few of my online friends messaged me since the start of the war and it was a tremendous support. Even if you can't help in reality, your words and your care mean everything. Host refugees or give them any support that you can. If you're in Europe, you can help refugees. Yes, you can share your home with them, but it's obviously not feasible for many people. But refugees still need so much information support. They're in a new country, they don't know the language, they're very lost and confused. If you know someone coming to your country, help them get around, translate for them, explain where they can get groceries, what apps citizens use, basically anything that can make their lives a bit easier. Donate. Please, don't send your money to huge organizations like Red Cross. They're cool, but their logistics are so complex and long that we likely won't get much from them soon. You can help volunteers that you know personally, maybe someone helping refugees or sending direct humanitarian help to Ukraine.