oomf

Twitter is officially insufferable so I guess here I aaaanmmmmmmm

You know how you do something that you know is bad for you and you can see that it's not going to end well, but you do it anyway hoping that it'll be okay? And then sometimes you do it for months hoping that all the shitty feelings you've gone through will MEAN something, and you'll eventually be happy? I'm at the end of that right now and it's still shit. Everything is shit. What's the point of being sober and working on myself if I'm going to end up doing the same destructive, hurtful behavior either way? I'm not going to drink, because I know it won't make me feel better or even numb. But I really just want...oblivion right now. Fuck.

All I'm trying to do is become a better person while trying to stay sober. I don't make all the right decisions, the right actions. I can't be perfect. I don't want to hurt other people, and I'm sorry if I have. Please just let me live my life.