My life is online

i’m giving up personhood to become a full-time abstract concept

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

what a beautiful day to not be in high school

This is the like those “remember to be grateful you don’t have a sore throat right now” posts. It IS a beautiful day to not be in high school! Thank you!

I may have a sore throat and a runny nose, but damn it if I’m not happy that I’m not in high school today

It's fun being queer and weird and unconventional until you remember you live in a society

it’s monday i’m in the labyrinth

it’s tuesday i’m in the evil lab

it’s wednesday i’m in the time loop

it’s thursday i’m in the medieval torture apparatus

🌸it’s friday i’m in love🌸

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT

I just saw the world's freshest baby in Panera bread. Like that thing was JUST out of the oven. I've heard of being wet behind the ears but this baby was wet behind the everything. It was still damp.

the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features

far far away idol would never happen now