Ms. Joan

Natural hair tips I just learned!

Black women are expected and in fact encouraged to assume a kind of mercurial hysteria surrounding dating.We are supposed to deal with “reality” which is that we are ugly and unwanted. But we are supposed to exude confidence because women with low self esteems are pathetic. But then we can’t exude too much confidence because there comes the meme about the independent Black woman who don’t need no man. We are supposed to be loyal to Black men. But we are expected to deal with the “reality” that there are not enough good ones to go around. We are supposed to desire Black men exclusively, but we are encouraged to believe that Black men do not make good partners because they are hyper-masculine and violent or because they hate dark skin and natural hair. We normalize whiteness by making it seem like white men are above and beyond the pitfalls of internalizing white supremacy that apparently too many Black men are wrapped up in. Black love is tested on every side at the cost of Black women and men.

Don’t say I’m perfect. It scares me. I’m going to disappoint you. I’m going to disappoint myself.

The Grammys is alright, but it would be 100 times better if IceJJFish got nominated and won!