Ms. 3

Chilling between waves of work with some comfort zone painting.

here's something that's been collecting dust in one of my folders since september

based on greg rucka's art for the trevor project

Hi Anon! I started to write this and then writing did that thing it does where the story spirals out of control and it deviated ever so slightly from your prompt. If this doesn’t quite scratch the itch, feel free to send the prompt again and I’ll have another stab at it. Either way, I hope you enjoy!

Instinct

“I’m back!” Buck called out, purposefully dumping all his bags loudly on the floor. Sure enough, moments later, a rumpled looking Albert and Veronica emerged from the couch, looking sweaty and happy. 

And reeking of sex. 

Albert and Veronica were both betas, so their scents weren’t as strong but after pairing their natural scents with all the sex they’d been having, it had taken over Buck’s apartment, stifling the comforting scent he had worked for months to build and layer with each visit from friends and family, each time he nested in a different area of the house. Before Albert had started dating Veronica, the couch had smelled of the last time Buck and Christopher had cuddled and watched How To Train Your Dragon. A week later, the scent was gone and Buck couldn’t bear to sit on it.

He sighed, then turned to put away all the groceries.

“How are you, bro?” Albert asked cheerfully.

“Um... yeah, great. Uh, you?'' Buck felt so ungrounded in his own home, a restlessness that didn't let him focus on any one thing. In his periphery Albert continued to talk, Veronica throwing in a word or two but it was all white noise in Buck’s ears. He felt unhinged, ungrounded, just needed...

“Yeah, definitely.” He threw out noncommittally then dashed upstairs to his loft. It has to be somewhere around--yes! A bulky sweatshirt, the letters LAFD already beginning to fade from wear. Eddie had worn the sweatshirt last time he’d come to visit, Christopher cradled to his chest as they played video games. Buck gripped the shirt in both hands and fell onto his bed, the shirt pressed over his nose and mouth, gasping.

It didn’t matter why these scents grounded him more than anything. It didn’t, damnit! There was no use thinking about it, reading into it. Eddie was his best friend and Buck adored Chrsitopher, so of course their scents brought Buck comfort. That’s all there was to it.

Buck continued to tell himself this as he lay there, muscles melted in relaxation, mind calmed. Eddie’s alpha scent mixed with Christopher’s omega scent soaked into his pores and time ceased to exist. 

“...uck? Buck!” Buck startled back to awareness at the sound of Albert calling him.

“...uh?”

Albert’s eyes tracked to the shirt Buck had been holding over his head then back to Buck and he smiled sympathetically. Buck blushed and shoved the shirt to the side with a scowl. He didn't understand Albert's look--it's just a shirt!--but he didn't like it either.

“Eddie called me. He said something about Christopher’s bedtime, you weren’t answering your phone...?” Albert’s eyes strayed again to the shirt and Buck felt his face heat.

“Right, yeah. Uh, is he still on the line?”

Albert shook his head. “He said if you were sleeping to just leave you, but--”

“No, thanks. I’m on my way.” Buck leapt out of bed and grabbed his keys, hustling down the stairs before any more of Albert’s questioning and sympathetic looks could make him feel even sillier than he already did.

It’s nothing.

Nothing.

 ***

“Is Buck gonna stay with us tonight, dad?”

Eddie looked down at his son, a smile breaking through on his face. If Christopher only knew how much I treasure him helping me keep Buck in our lives...! “I’ll ask him, mijo, okay?”

“Okay!” Christopher snuggled deeper into his blankets, the scent of a happy young omega filling the room. “I want to make pancakes with him again in the morning.”

Eddie smiled and placed one more kiss on Christopher’s forehead. “Goodnight mijo.” Then he turned out the light and stepped out, closing the door behind him. 

Quietly, Eddie tip-toed to the main room. “Buck?” No response. He took a cursory glance around the room. “Buck?” Sill nothing.

That’s odd. Perhaps the omega had already gone home. The thought made Eddie’s heart sink. He’d been hoping to spend some quality time with Buck, talk and relax. Buck had been looking worn and stressed lately, his scent off and not the usual contented, happy omega that Eddie was used to.

Wait.

Going down the hallway, there was a fresh trail of Buck’s scent, reeking of stress and want. Eddie followed it. Is Buck in my room? The thought sent a thrill through him that he quickly squashed. This isn’t the time for that. And you don’t even know if that's what he wants. You’re friends. Eddie would respect that boundary with Buck or die trying. 

The scent went past Eddie’s room, farther down the hall. The only rooms left were the small sunroom that led out onto a small backyard, and--

“Buck?”

Eddie made out one of Buck’s socked feet, toes curled. It had been over a week since the last time Eddie had remembered to do laundry, and the room was filled with LAFD t-shirts and sweats, uniforms, pajamas, Chris’s school clothes and more. All the clothes had been crammed into the overflowing hamper, waiting patiently for Eddie to have a spare moment to start a load.

They weren’t in the hamper anymore. The hamper had been up-ended into a mound on the floor and buried in the clothes, Eddie’s most recently used LAFD sweatshirt pressed tightly to his nose, lay Buck, his eyes closed, relaxed, breathing deeply.

“Oh Buck.” Every instinct in Eddie was screaming at him to claim Buck on the spot. He’s ours, you know it! And whether he realizes it or not, so does he!

But it wouldn’t do. Eddie knew now about Buck’s background, his alpha parents who had barely taken the time to feed and clothe Buck, pausing to acknowledge his existence only long enough to yell at him when he messed up. Maddie, bless her kind heart, had taken over looking after Buck, but the particulars of the alpha-omega dynamic was largely foreign to betas. 

Buck unearthed himself slightly from the pile and looked up at Eddie, face flushed and eyes glazed. 

“I... I don’t know why, I just... please don’t make me leave.” Buck’s voice was husky and low, and tinged with shame. “I... with Albert and Veronica, and--and my apartment, it smells... not like mine anymore.”

And we do. Eddie finished for him in his head as Buck buried himself in Eddie’s shirt once, more, curling deeper into the pile.

“It’s okay, Buck. Shhh, you're okay, everything’s okay.” Eddie approached slowly. Poor Buck didn’t realize the consequences of not having nested for too long. He’d always had his home or his jeep. Nor did he know the implications of what he was doing, what it meant. Eddie knew, but he knew just as certainly that this wasn’t the time to talk about it. For now--

“Come on, Buck. Up you get.” Eddie reached out, one hand grasping Buck’s shoulder, and the other taking his hand.

Buck keened, high and distressed. “No, no. I want... I don’t know why, Eddie, but I felt so empty and stressed, so stressed, and now--”

“It’ll be okay, Buck. We’ll bring the shirt with us, but I don’t want you sleeping on the floor, okay? Come on, baby.” The endearment slipped out before Eddie could stop, but he had no regrets as he felt Buck breathe in deeply then grasp his hand back and sit up.

Carefully, so carefully, Eddie pulled him out of the pile of laundry, resisting his own urge to bury himself where it now smelled like Eddie-Christopher-Buck, home-home-mine--

“Eddie?”

Eddie refocused and pulled Buck toward his chest, making sure that Buck’s grip on the sweatshirt was secure as he gently moved him back down the hall, tamping the fierce wave of possessiveness that surged in him at the sight of Buck leaning against him, soaked in their mingled scent, eyes still unfocused as he breathed deeply.

“Let’s go to bed, Buck.”

“Is... Is that okay, Eddie?”

“Only if it’s okay with you, querido. Don’t worry, it’s just to sleep, so you can get a good rest. We've got a twenty-four hour shift starting tomorrow, I can’t let you go in there looking as rumpled as you’ve been the past few days, okay? But only if you’re comfortable with it.” Eddie would have to speak to Bobby tomorrow. As a fellow omega, it was far more appropriate for Bobby to explain to Buck what his instincts were telling him. What Eddie’s instincts were screaming in return. but for now, Buck needed to nest somewhere that his instincts told him was his.

Theirs.

“Okay, Eddie. I’d... I’d like that.”

Me too. That voice in Eddie’s head whispered as he pulled Buck toward the bed and settled him down, tucking him snugly in the comforter that smelled of Eddie and a bit of Chistopher. 

"Eddie--" Buck's hand reached out and Eddie cupped it between his own.

"Shh, baby, I'm right behind you." Eddie kicked off his shoes and climbed in behind Buck, still clothed. He lay a hand on the back of Buck's neck and moved it up and down, stroking between his scent glands and his soft hair. “Christopher wants to make pancakes with you tomorrow before we go. That okay?”

today while (supposedly) studying, i had the sudden thought of, “if joe with a backwards baseball cap on is overwhelming, and joe winking at nicky is also overwhelming, what if joe winked at nicky with a backwards baseball cap on?”

somehow this happened.

edited to add: overwhelmed nicky–

Real life sucks. I’m struggling a lot, and I know so many of you all are as well. There’s oh so little I can do, but I can do a tiny bit to send out positive energy. I don’t know who needs to hear it, but give yourself some slack, you are doing amazing especially given the circumstances!