She looked like art

fuck you (affectionate)

football helmets have those little cages over the face cause if they didn't, the players would constantly make out with each other

literally everything always feels like a performance to me. i'll be uncontrollably sobbing and will suddenly be like wow i would've won an oscar for this

welcome to applebees would you like apples or bees?

invented a chess opening called the lovers gambit where you toss the pieces aside and start kissing your opponent on the table

I think I know how humans can beat supercomputers at chess again

The fact that I’m legally an adult is hysterical

LIL NAS X'S NEW TSHIRT DESIGN IM ASNXKFBWJDJXN

diagnosed with "just been in kind of a weird zone lately" disorder and it's terminal

it's not radiation poisoning but the night is young