Mark Armstrong Illustration

I’ve been working on a children’s book, and I’m pretty excited: I’m self-publishing it via Amazon KDP, and it’s scheduled to go live and be available for purchase on Friday, June 26, 2026. The name of the book is Fred The Coconut. What’s it about? Here’s the blurb from the back cover. That Fred– he really gets around!! I put together some quiz questions to generate some buzz ahead of the launch.…

*       *       *       *       *       *       * Something a little different for Martin Luther King Day: a serious reflection on King’s dream and his legacy. *       *       *       *       *       *       *  The United States is celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr. Day on Monday, January 19, 2026. It is, of course, named for the great civil rights leader. King was a unifier. Yes, blacks were…

Babies like to draw on walls. They’re uninhibited, and they’re into spontaneity. What’s that? Some of you don’t have a baby? Well, order one from Amazon so we can get on with this post. I’ll wait. (You can always return or resell it. Just remember to change the diaper first. It’s common courtesy.) Was that a knock on the door? It’s here? You’ve got your baby? Good — let’s continue. As I was…

*       *       *       *       *       *       * Here I am, all dressed up for New Year’s Eve. (I like to set a good example.) Please join me as I prowl the mean streets, looking for answers. *       *       *       *       *       *       *  I was sitting on a park bench. It was snowing. I was thinking about New Year’s resolutions — should I make any this year? I never keep ’em, so why…

A Halloween thriller for you. *       *       *       *       *       *       *  There were a lot of cars in the field. Some school buses, too. It was the sort of place where bad things could happen. I wondered who was watching and where the cameras were. The voice behind me said, “Go ahead, it’ll be fun. We’ll meet you at the graveyard, then get something to eat.” I looked over at the graves.…

A couple of months ago, I launched a new Substack newsletter exclusively for my fiction. I decided to call it As The Word Churns since I like to do the funny stuff. I needed a logo for it. My first idea (above left) was a bubbling cauldron sitting on a pencil fire. Lots of noxious bubbles, and a second pencil to stir the pot. Naturally you’re saying to yourself: What a terrible color scheme!!—…

It was another fine day at the Blue Bird Pet Store. It used to be called Donkey Depot, but employees spent half their time shoveling you-know-what. Birds were a lot easier to clean up after. Philip and Bertram were between customers. Philip was eating breath mints, and Bertram was on the computer, checking the latest from NPR. “Jeez,” said Bertram. “This guy, the shooter, he looks familiar.…

You’ve never heard of W.C. Fields?? You must be younger than 100!! OK, he was even before my time. Here’s an excerpt from his Turner Classic Movies biography: A gambler and card-shark, a gin drinker, and hater of children, iconic actor- comedian W.C. Fields was all these things and more — a pool hustler, a juggler and an ordinary man struggling against life. Fields spoke directly to what made us…

I’ve been trying to write microfiction– and failing. That’s because microfiction has to be 300 words or less. This one is 525 words, so it only qualifies as “flash fiction,” which can run up to 1000 words. The above header is an Internet Archive Book Image with no known copyright restrictions. I downloaded it, cleaned it up, and added some…

Something a little different for me. A prose poem originally published in Black Coffee Poetry on Substack, as part of their Gothic Pact collection. Even The Dead Need a Sympathetic Ear What good is despair if you can’t share it?Life was pressing down on me It’ll do that Even when you’re dead When you’re on a cruise ship On the River Styx Especially when Foghat’s Playing Slow RideThe dead have…

“I’ve been thinkin’ about dinosaurs,” said O’Reilly. “Oh, really,” said O’Toole. “Are ye referring to newspapers, landlines, Facebook, me old Chevy Malibu?? Sure’n you’ll hafta be more precise.” “Faith, I mean th’ fearsome beasts that roamed the earth before God made leprechauns,” said O’Reilly. “One day they all got caught in a meteor shower and were gone quicker’n Kamala Harris, poor…

I was down at the donut shop this morning doing nutritional research. I decided to conduct a survey. I asked people: What’s the biggest misconception about marketing videos? A guy eating a Double Glazed dabbed his lips thoughtfully. “Videos don’t have to have real people in ’em,” he said. “You can stick in whatever ya want.” A woman eating a Raspberry Creme said, ‘“You don’t need fancy video…

It’s been 60 years since the close of Vatican II, aka, the Second Vatican Council (1962-65). Pope John XXIII called the council to modernize the Catholic Church and bring it up to date. He died in 1963, and didn’t live to see the end of the Council. His birth name was Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli. He was elected pope on October 28, 1958, at the age of 77. When all the Catholic cardinals convene to…

Mars and Venus were having a cuppa at the Mt. Olympus Café. They were discussing their son, Cupid. “I’m worried about the boy,” said Mars. “Running around naked, flapping his little wings, flirting shamelessly, making a spectacle of himself.” Venus shrugged. “That’s pretty normal behavior up here.” “Yeah, but he’s 42-years-old, and he hasn’t even reached puberty!” “All things considered, perhaps…

“Nice jacket,” he said. “I bet you say that to all the books.” He winked. “Just the hardcovers.” She laughed. He pointed behind her. “Look– a Wolfe talking to a Bradford.” When she turned, he checked out her ISBN. Not bad. Cute barcode, too. She held up her glass before turning around. “I could see you look. It’s a sneaky way to get a girl’s number.” “Oops. It says on your spine you’re published…

Bill was from Buffalo. Maybe that’s why they called him Buffalo Bill. He played football. Gets cold in Buffalo, snows a lot. You need a warm coat. Bill only had half a coat. His tail was always cold. Every year, Bill and his team played the Kansas City Chiefs for the championship. They always lost. They just lost again this year. Bill’s down about it, which is understandable, but at least he’s…

I wrote a short story. Hope you enjoy it! *       *       *       *       *       *       *  George was a tech guy. Or maybe a writer. I was never sure which. He was focused, George was. Nose to the grindstone. He hated distractions. Called them cockroaches. Gotta resist, he’d say. Gotta keep the roaches away. He’d trained his mind to resist anything that might interfere with his work. He could…