Dear life,
Iâm going to need all the shit storms and what not to take a chill pill.
Love,
Me

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@mrskurt
Dear life,
Iâm going to need all the shit storms and what not to take a chill pill.
Love,
Me

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I donât update
Hi!! Oh my gosh.
So where am I?!
Odin is doing amazing and really our struggles are academics but only one hurdle with lots of moving parts to get over... heâs in inclusion first grade and I think he will be in an inclusion setting until at least fourth grade. But the theory is once he can read, we will see the gifted stuff shine and heâll be challenged and fulfilled by School. While his school is finally figuring out how to service him, they have an amazing program for gifted children. Odin is good for this school. They need to learn to provide the community with a public school that can help these Aspergers/Mild Asd/SPD kids. We shouldnât be forced to send our kids to private school.
I went back to work full time at the end of July which after six years is still a challenge. We are figuring it out. Sick kids is the hard part and all their holidays. I make enough money to pay for Adaâs Montessori school but the extra childcare costs suck. I love my job and Iâm super happy here so that is the shining positive plus we have health insurance and no longer rely on the state for the kids insurance so that money can go to other kids who need it.
Ada is amazing. She transitioned to pre school amazingly. She is super verbal, huge vocabulary, counting, singing and so much more. She turned three last month. I could write a book about her but Iâll spare you all.
Not much else going on thatâs remarkable. I wanted to check in. Say hi!
Happy Indigenous Peoples Day!
Across the United States, there are 556 federally recognized American Indian and Alaska Native nations. Each one has itâs own unique history and culture. American education has not bothered to tell us that Native people lived in peace and effectively governed themselves before the Europeans came along. American education has not informed us that Native Americans have been slighted ever since, not even being recognized as citizens (despite the fact that they were here first) until the 20th century.Â
But we donât have to push these facts aside. We can stop celebrating a man that began a genocide and a terrible theft of land and culture, and start celebrating Indigenous Peoples for their rich history and their equal contributions to society.
To all Indigenous Peoples out there: weâre glad youâre here!
We will stand with you in your continued battle to be recognized as legitimate human beings instead of the stereotypes perpetuated by Columbus and those that came after him.
Iâm posting this again to amend it: I realized too late last year that there was some insensitive phrasing in this post. The phrase âNative people lived in peaceâ is stereotyping at its worst. They had their own struggles and fights with one another, and I know that. My intention was not to advance stereotypes, but even good intentions donât always lead to positive results. Iâm sorry.
Iâm not changing the wording of the original post because I think this is a good learning opportunity. Maybe we donât believe we have implicit biases, but we do. Its possible to learn from our mistakes.
So, hereâs to Indigenous Peoples Day! I will stand with you as you overcome a racist past and present, as you erase misconceptions about the history that erased you. You shouldnât have to do all the work, but you do. The world will be better when we start listening to your stories.
Follow up
I look back at what people have said about my weight or size and while some were not meant as I took them, the majority were said out of jealousy, ignorance and just people who lived to be unkind.
Weight is a number, the number is unimportant. Health is what is important. All those comments, were bullshit because what I had at those moments was health. I was super fit, healthy, ate well. And dude, my hair is awesome, I donât cut it for anyone but me, still to this day.
Iâm 36 and I need to love myself a lot more. Iâve had two babies cut from me and Iâm still strong. Iâm lucky to have this body, this vessel. I sometimes need to remind myself.
Thank you all for your positive comments. â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Possible trigger - weight struggles
*this is not a real letter but something I need to let go.
To whom is may concern:
I want to be skinny. I want to be skinny. I want to be skinny.
You told me Iâd be perfect if I cut off all my hair and lost like twenty pounds then Iâd be amazing. I was 5ft 7in and 128lbs.
Every girl you cheated on me/ditched me for was tiny and elfish. Every girl. Even their voices were tiny.
You said, âoh you have thunder thighs.â
You said, âwow, youâre the heaviest girl Iâve ever dated.â
You said, âoh my last girlfriend was the same height but like 120lbs.â
You said, âyou look thick.â
âYouâll never look as good as you did on your wedding day.â
âYouâre butt got big.â
âThere is no way youâre a small, no way.â
âOh she has some sort of eating problem.â
âAnother day, another thing.â
âYes but she has to be that thin/fit because sheâs expected to be because she makes so much money.â
âYou need to eat something you looo terrible.â
This is is a completely private struggle I think only my husband is finally noticed. I lack disordered eating and I hide my feelings super well. This has been comments since sophomore year of high school. These are from friends, boyfriends, guys, girls, co workers, bosses.
So as I struggle to lose the last 15lbs of baby weight which I canât really call it anymore, these flash through my head because I remember shit. I remember too much shit and then I process it over and over.
Iâm at the point where I donât want to be around new people because i dislike the way I look.
What the fuck is wrong with me?! I love women and people of all shapes and sizes and see their beauty. I donât care about their weight but why canât I let go of mine?

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oculomotor dysfunction, accommodative infacility and convergence insufficiency
My childâs eyes like literally cannot read. So now we attack that full force.
This child with the beautiful pallet and spaced teeth, perfect for avoiding major orthodontia, poor muscle tone in his mouth...
This child with the biggest, most stunning eyes...the muscles in his eyes are not doing their job...
His brilliance without being able to read is immeasurable.
Sure, I wish it was just âhe needs glasses.â But, hey why not?
Odin had a developmental vision evaluation. His scores were non existent in most areas but one. Vision therapy and educational accommodations are recommended. Now with our lawyer, we ask the school for help because yes, this affects his academics.
This was the first time I wondered... is all of this, all of these challenges and struggles, from a birth injury? My husband said it doesnât matter, why think back? And heâs right because I didnât care before about the whys.
So yep, thatâs whatâs new.
I have another big thing Iâll write more about later.
1. Odinâs reading/writing tutor canât help him read. Not wonât, canât. Odin goes for an eval on the 12th for a developmental visual evaluation for a possible visual processing disorder. He pretty much has most of the markers for it. But his listening comprehension could possibly be at a 4th grade level and heâs going into 1st grade. Autism, Aspergers, whatever this is, is just one thing after another and itâs all going to be good and heâs amazing but damn itâs expensive getting him all the help he needs to support him as a functioning, contributing member of society.
2. Odin went to a father son Christian camp in the mountains of NY. I was not thrilled with the idea of a conservative Christian camp with ideas that are not inclusive being thrown at my kid but my husband wanted to take him to the mountains and minus the religious aspect, it was perfect for my close to typical atypical kid. Note: I do not have a problem with Christianity or any belief system. I baptized both my kids and I believe in something greater than myself. I donât believe that a 20 something year old typical cis male should be telling my child that if you havenât found and accepted God, youâre going to hell... Odinâs beautiful mind doesnât work like that. He canât even remember his relatives names but he can tell you what species, family and all that crap humans and apes belong in. Luckily Odin didnât hear this. Am I supposed to believe this all loving god only lets people who can say theyâve accepted god and Jesus not burn in hell? I mean so god created Odin and the natives of the Amazon just so they could burn? Yea nope. Luckily Odin took nothing from that propganda and my husband, no pun intended, did play devils advocate at the fireside chats and I am pretty sure has a big black X next to his name. Odin had a great time at camp. He told the other kids he was named after a Viking god and only one kid got mad. Ha! Odin caught and released a small mouth bass, identified snakes, bugs, plants and all that.
3. I start work at the end of this month. Yes, six years as a stay at home mom and now I scramble to figure out where Ada will be and whoâll cover the two weeks before Odin heads back to school. Whoâs panicking? Iâm not... ha. I totally am.
4. My trip to NY came with more revelations on my part. Iâll write a bigger post on that later. Now I have to put laundry away.
She sells weed but has a problem with an 8 year old black girl selling water. Toxic white people feel like it is LITERALLY against the law for Black folks to disobey their request. They immediately jump into citizens arrest mode, playing the role of deputy doinâ too much, using their whiteness and its proximity to police protection as a weapon.
Job.
I have sparse freelance. I need a w2 job with benefits and Iâve applied to hundreds of jobs since November. I went on an interview and I felt really awesome but now radio silence.
My retouching is kicking ass but I need a full time position.
I turned down an interview possibly for a good pay position because well, they sold AR 15s and confederate flag gear. Iâm a yankee. Actually my grandparents got here after the civil war so that flag is just... well you know.
Yes I need I come and better insurance but..
Anyway. Iâm looking for a job.
Animal Species Illustration Posters by Kelsey Oseid on Etsy
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Being trans is not a new, trendy thing. Trans people have always existed.
Dr Alan L Hart was born in Kansas in 1890. He was assigned female at birth, but started presenting and living his life as a boy at a young age. In 1917/1918 he was the first trans man to go through GCS in America. After the procedure, he changed his legal name. Shortly thereafter he married his first wife, Inez Hart. They separated and divorced a few years later and in 1925 Alan married his second wife, Edna Ruddick, to whom he was married until his death. After the second world war, synthetic testosterone became available and Alan started HRT. Alan dedicated his life to helping people. He was a medical doctor and radiologist and he put much time into researching tuberculosis and collecting money for people who could not afford treatment themselves. He died of heart failure in 1962. His body was cremated and spread over Puget Sound.
This is excellent trans history, but Hart did not come from an unsupportive family! Him being a boy was not really an issue at the time. To quote:
âHart wrote later, in 1911, of his happiness during this time, when he was free to present as male, playing with boysâ toys made for him by his grandfather. His parents and grandparents largely accepted and supported his gender expression, though his mother described his âdesire to be a boyâ as âfoolish.â His grandparentsâ obituaries, from 1921 and 1924, both list Hart as a grandson.â
Even growing up, Hart rarely faced resistence for his transition. Even while attending college, he had professors who indexed his medical degree under his chosen name despite needing to issue it under his legal name (which was Lucille at the time).
Most people simply did not know Hart was trans unless he told them. He was sadly outed as trans in Oregon in a local paper by a former classmate. This motivated him to get marry his first wife and move back home so all his friends knew he was ashamed of nothing and quite happy.
Unfortunately, the strain of financial insecurity weighed on his marriage and his first wife left him. He married his second wife (who he was with until he passed) the same year he divorced his first.
Hart found his way into tuberculosis research regarding radiology. Without his techniques, tuberculosis would have continued to be a devastating disease. Hart saved the lives of thousands of people, most of whom could previously not afford to be screened and advanced radiology as viable and cheap.
He also stopped the stigma sorrounding the disease in its tracks. Tuberculosis was once akin to a veneral disease, but Hart insisted his clinics and treatments be referred to as âchest clinicsâ and âchest treatmentsâ so his patients would not face ostrasization for seeking help.
It would be remiss to not acknowledge that Hart was an important figure in medical history who truly cared about people.
Even today, Hart is still helping people! After his death, Hartâs wife Edna did what he wished and established their estate to gain interest. That interest is given to leukemia research every year (Hartâs mother died of leukemia).
He said in a speech to a class of graduating medical students:
âEach of us must take into account the raw material which heredity dealt us at birth and the opportunities we have had along the way, and then work out for ourselves a sensible evaluation of our personalities and accomplishment.â
WARNING: THE INCREDIBLES 2Â IS NOT EPILEPSY SAFE.
This is not a joke. I was at a premier showing tonight, and my immediate thought was how disasterously unsafe this movie is for my photosensitive epilepic friends. @markingatlightspeed Iâm tagging you with this specifically because this would be extremely dangerous for you to watch. There are multiple scenes in this movie with full-screen, black-and-white flashing strobe effects. They all happen without warning, and last anywhere between a few seconds to more than two minutes. In a darkened movie theater, this means the likelihood of a seizure could be VERY HIGH if you are sensitive to these effects. If you have photosensitive epilepsy or another disorder that is triggered by strobe lights, I would highly recommend you DO NOT SEE THE INCREDIBLES 2 IN THEATERS. Wait until the movieâs released on digital/Bluray, and you can watch it in a fully-lit room, with someone with you who will be able to help if the strobe effects do trigger a seizure. Please stay safe.
My local special needs fb mommy group reviewed it today as not seizure friendly. I kind of wish they (whoever makes this) would be more inclusive and make one without the strobe effects.
Brown Tabby with Birds
Gouache on paper, 2016
by Kelly Louise Judd
Art goals!!
Guys, my new candles are amazing. @fire_peace_and_light on ig
Clearly I have some weird Cinderella, talks to rodents complex... now what?!

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âAnd no, I do not yield one second to you! Not one second!â
Heated exchange between Rep. Mike Kelly and Rep. Maxine Waters on the US House floor.
Iâm glad she clapped back at all of those old white fucks
Especially within minority groups, parents and doctors are getting better at identifying the condition.
âRecognizing that autism prevalence has largely remained stable, even as our understanding of it has changed, means we can trade the urgency of a false public health crisis for the urgency of meeting the unmet needs of autistic people of all ages.â