Respite
"For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see and fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious and full of care in the year of drought, nor shall cease yielding its fruit." Jeremiah 17:8 Lord, because of utter difficulty I am going through, I couldn't help but silently wished that I have a talent like Lyca, the first Voice Kid Philippines grand winner. She and her whole family went through a lot of hardships like mine, in different level yes, but life was totally hard. I have been thinking a lot since, how to erase all these debts and never owe anyone any single money after, with the limitations I have. More than the required amount, you hear negative comments, let alone asking friends and families is already difficult to do. The moment I finish this problem, I will finally sit down and write my own Joyce Meyer or Joel Osteen Christian-help book. There are for sure a lot of people out there who has same financial difficulty or more, but I think we all feel the same. We are pressured, hell bent, deeply wounded and erred, in unfathomable pain, threatened, but blessed. Should feel blessed. Lord, thank You for waking and getting me up early today. It is not a good day to fix so many complicated and compelling problems but I did only because of Your divine grace. I needed strength and was able to fight sleepiness. There have been so many pressing concerns like Mr Hung but thank You because no matter how complex it is now, I find hope within my heart and the voice inside me shouting and pushing me to claim that I will finish it by September 2nd week against their ultimatum of 26th & 27th of this month, I know You can move them Lord. I thank You that we were able to send a few bucks! I continue to pray to send more in the coming days. This faith will save me, once more. Lord, I thank You that the problem that put Noreen's job in jeopardy has been fixed again with fervent prayer. And, a bonus of list that Noreen could use to help her situation too. What we thought as problematic from last night and just lifted to You, was fixed with just sincere explanation the next day. I was able to help Noreen even more. What led me through those sites I gave her is Your divine doing Lord. The previous clients I have emailed came to reply in a subtle manner I prayed for. I know I aint sure and they are not yet my priority till September 5, I lift it to You once more Lord. But thank You. This is another prayer You literally answered. I thank You that after being so depressed the past days partly because there is no job interviews coming and only more applications sent, two unexpected ones came today. One is a part time work that I confident to do because it is similar with my other on-call part time work. The other one is for a full time position that I applied and told Nanay I will nail the work required of me there. I thought I was not going to make it but I did. After 10 days that I applied. The offer is very good too. Thank You so much for bouncing back with this after hearing from my loyal cousin that another cousin asked me from my aunt because they were hearing news that I have warrant already. It is really sad to learn that people whom you thought would understand you as family would be ones to put you on the spot. They were not able to help yet they spread lies behind you. But I wouldnt care if it is only me. I am only concerned because I am afraid that it will reach my father and with his temper, I do not know how will he react or how this will affect him. I am scared. I am also sad because the thoughts I once neglect now resurface. That people will reject you. Don't be so shocked if it is friends or families whom you thought would be the ones to stand by you. But I lift them up to You Lord. I am not sure but I believe this hunch and the little proof would not keep coming back if they are not true. I prayed hard that it is not but they show. In retrospect, while I was feeling okay or maybe not, somewhere, somehow, people are talking about me. What comforts me Lord is the fact that when You were here, You were also rejected many times, backstab, and wronged. Whom am I compared to You Lord? I know I am Your child. But instead of figthing it, I am praying for it. I pray them well. I did not wrong them. They do not feed me. I can look straight at their eyes when I go home. Because I know You will release me from all this mess. You will redeem me Lord. I pray for loyal persons who remain with me, and chose to remain. That alone, I feel so much blessed already. Thank You Lord for renewing my strength through them. Thank You for giving me a lot more hopes today Lord. Thank You for giving me the chance to write to Mr Franz. I pray that if I fail with Nang Ben and almost losed hope for the coming days, I still have Mr Franz and Ms Maritess to help me. They do not know me Lord but I know You. I trust You and it is without doubt that You guided me at this particular time only to write them. It is all up to You now Lord. I believe and You have proven Your perfect timinf once more. The job offer and this letter to Ms Marites. Thy will be done Lord! I thank You that Pao & I was able to talk even for short time. I just said that I will do but You know that I dont know how to make it. The same way with NCS which is due next week. The same with Martech. But I entrust everything to You Lord. I highly believe on last minute miracles. On last second's. I believe in You Father. There are so much I am blessed to have today. Thank You for pouring me with ideas I never thought of for a time. Or, maybe I was having a hard time letting go. Thank You Father for touching my heart. For letting me loose. Because I am stubborn. Or proud. Or sentimental. Lord, I will wake up with my second chance, stronger and more inclined to You. Thank You for the respite! 2014.08.21
