The truth is quite messy, like a wind blown room.

Having sex outside sounds pretty adventurous but what if a bug crawl up ya asshole then what you gone do 

boys get really hot and bothered when sexting and im probably laughing during it and eating macaroni 

i hate the word nut, cum is a nicer word

“Oh, look at the squirrels storing cum for the winter”

i regret this

It would be so much cooler if the New Years ball dropped slowly over the course of the whole year.

Don’t drink the anxie-tea, it’s a terrible flavor with even worse side effects.

REBLOG IF NAZIS OFFEND YOU MORE THAN NIPPLES.

Your tongue is really good at finding food stuck in your mouth, but it has trouble getting it out. Your hand can get it out, but has trouble finding the food…Using both at the same time messes you up even more

Pro Tip: Instead of having feelings, try being dead inside. Everything is still horrible but you will not care at all.

ROFL OMG. THIS CONVERSATION.

LOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!

Reblogging again

I’m crying

i’ve probably aged 4 years this year

Invite them in

theyre vampires

Life is too short to pretend you’re not into some kinky shit

amen 🙏🏻

Life is too short to pretend you’re not into some kinky shit

amen 🙏🏻