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By definition you can't accidentally queerbait. Queerbaiting is specifically using a same sex pair from the show to market the show to queer audiences with no intention of ever following through on a romantic relationship.

There is officially licensed Destiel merch signed off on by Kripke. Teen Wolf had a commercial with the actors for Derek and Stiles draped over each other talking about being "on a ship." Both shows actively used scenes between them as marketing while actively mocking fans for wanting them together. Sherlock has multiple characters refer to Johnlock as a couple, including characters we're supposed to believe are never wrong about human behavior and pushed those scenes in marketing. Then they acted insulted when fans saw them as a couple.

That's queerbaiting.

Done on accident it would just be queer subtext. Done because they had no other choice due to censorship is queer coding.

The specific meaning of the word is really starting to get lost and it's a pretty important one to keep accurate. It describes a very specific phenomenon that was done repeatedly and maliciously for decades and is meant to examine that specifically.

this particularly works with anything negative i’ve forecasted. “i woke up feeling like shit today, so my day is gonna suck” isn’t a particularly helpful thought, but “it’s a great day to be alive!!!!!” feels hollow and insincere when i have a pounding headache & am running on three hours of sleep

instead i’ll tell myself, “i really don’t feel good right now, but i’m open to the possibility that coffee and breakfast might perk me up a bit.” or “i’m in a lot of pain today, but i’m open to the possibility that my workday might still have fun parts despite that”

I thought we'd have more time. We always think that, don't we? One day we will. In this life or the next.

People can offer you resources, but can't make you reach out and use them.

People can lay down stepping stones, but can't make you put the work in to make progress.

I mean, this describes my whole life from birth to mid-20s as well as many people I know.

You decide that you want better for yourself and others around you, that it's no longer acceptable, and you start chipping away at unpacking your trauma and changing how you do things.

Ok, things I've done to work on myself that don't require seeing a therapist:

- Educating myself by extensively researching the problems and symptoms I live with to better understand how and why I do things.

- Reading about trauma.

The Body Keeps the Score

- Self-help workbooks.

The C-PTSD Workbook

The DBT Workbook

The Addiction Recovery Skills Workbook

- Seeking peer support by participating in Discord server(s) related to trauma and mental illness. I couldn't find one specific to my diagnoses that I was comfortable in, so I created one, and 3 years on it's grown and is going great overall.

- Learning to take feedback about my behavior from people I generally trust, and to not take feedback/constructive criticism as an attack, but as a tool.

- Working at communicating my feelings and needs as statements, not out of anger or as demands.

- Reminding myself that other people's experiences and feelings matter, and should be considered. Even people with the best intentions can be self-centered, especially under stress. You have to work at it.

- Learning to recognize my triggers, patterns, and reactivity, and to de-escalate myself. Treating emotions as visitors and not drowning in them; recognizing that nothing is permanent.

- Setting rules with myself as to how I handle things when I'm upset; for example, I will only raise my voice to others as a last resort, and I will not physically act out my anger in an uncontrolled way. Breaking dollar store dishes in a specified area is relatively safe, controlled, and thus non-harmful.

- Asking myself, literally, if I'm being the problem. Is my behavior the actual reason things suck right now. It's too easy to have a tendency to blame others or situations outside of your control so you have to ask. Sometimes it really is someone else's fault or nobody's, but you have to ask.

Sufjan Stevens | Will Anybody Ever Love Me?

what would have to go wrong in your life, and how wrong would it have to go, for you to stop bathing? to stop eating? to let the garbage pile around you until you can no longer see the floor?

how bad would you have to feel, and for how long, before you would stand on the street screaming at anyone & anything? beating your fists on your head and crying? how bad would it need to be?