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Pengu's Family [Anon List]:
Exhaled/Yostresswritinggirl - The aunt that comes once a month but wrecks havoc and takes the kids on a magical bus ride.
Juno - The gay cousin that we always wanted and needed. Emotional support #1
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ā No one told you the Lightkeepers of Nod-Krai you idolized so much would look like that.
Or: Reader, who's terrified of the dark, meets a walking nightlight.
[Masterlist]
Step aside Phainon, there's a new man in my life. Please ignore any inconsistencies. I have not played through Nod Krai; this is purely an offering for him to come home.
Final Night Cemetery.
As the name implies, itās an island largely inhabited by the lingering ghosts of the dead. Long ago, it served as an outpost for the legendary Lightkeepers, steadfast guardians who defended against the Wild Hunt, with their great lighthouse blazing tirelessly at the center. You remember your motherās stories from nights when you were too restless to sleep: how the Lightkeepers never once faltered, how the lighthouseās glow came to symbolize warmth and hope, and how the Wild Hunt would be defeated in the face of the Lightkeepersā courage and power. Unfortunately, she always ended the tale with a warning: if too many disobedient children stayed awake past their bedtime, that was when the light would be snuffed out, and you'd be gobbled up by the Hunt.
Looking back, it was a pretty terrible way to end a story and then tell it to a child, but did it work? Absolutely. A bit too well because even now, you keep a strict curfew despite living on your own, your shadow still sometimes scares you, and you never go anywhere without your trusty lantern strapped to your waist.
āSo why, in the Moon Goddessās name, am I on an island where itās always nighttime!?ā you shout into the emptiness. Your voice echoes back at you, bouncing off unseen walls, all as a reminder that itās only been a few minutes and youāre already losing your mind.
The wind bites sharply at your skin, carrying a faint tang of staleness that makes your nose sting. The lighthouse looms ahead, a dark silhouette barely visible through the thick, rolling mist. Without its light, the world seems to fold in on itself, shapes blurring into shadowy hints of tall grass, rocks, and gravestones. You shift your lantern in your grip, tightening the strap at your waist so it wonāt slip. One last check on your supplies and precious cargo, you force your legs forward, one careful step at a time.
The crunch of your boots on gravel rings unnaturally loud, echoing through the stillness. Every time you lift a foot, you half-expect another step to answer yours. A sudden gust sweeps past, sending dead grass skittering across your path. You stumble over a small stone, arms flailing, before catching yourself and pressing your palms to your knees, gasping for breath. The hairs on the back of your neck prick, and for a moment, you are certain something lurks just beyond your lanternās orange glow. A loose twig snaps underfoot, and you jump, heart hammering, convinced something is behind you. When you spin around, nothing is there.
āOkay, rule number one: donāt panic. Rule number two: one step at a time,ā you swallow hard, glancing around again and biting your lip to stop your teeth from chattering so loudly, ā...Rule number three: panic just a little.ā
You tighten your grip on the lantern, clinging to it as your only lifeline. The lighthouse ahead feels impossibly far, each step heavier than the last. You try to remember the stories your mother used to whisper in your earāthe lighthouse, the Lightkeepers, their courage in facing the Wild Hunt. She always said you should be strong like them, no matter the adversity. As a child, you idolized them. Now it is your turn. You square your shoulders and let a flicker of determination settle in your chest.
A rustling from the tall grass snuffs it out immediately. You freeze, breath caught in your throat, eyes straining through the dark. Something shifts at the corner of your vision. A gravestone trembles just enough to make you jump as small rocks roll across the ground. High-pitched giggles ripple around you, weaving through the mist that feels heavier than when you first started your march. The sound is so clear it makes your scalp prickle. You let out a sharp scream and stumble backward, pressing yourself against a crumbled stone wall for support, knees bent, ready to bolt at any moment.
āNope. Nope, no, no, no,ā you scramble, voice breaking halfway, nearly beside yourself with fright, āJustā¦ just get to the lighthouse. Just get there. Easy. Totally fine.ā
Another giggle rings out right next to your ear. You flinch so hard you drop to a knee, fumbling with your lantern as if it might vanish. The moment you catch your balance, you bolt forward three quick steps, nearly crashing into another gravestone.
Suddenly, wispy black and teal flames flicker to life at your feet, so cold it feels like your skin is burning. You hiss, stumbling back as the chill seeps into your bones. From the flames, a humanoid shape rises. Its face is obscured, as if a veil of shadows covers where features should be. Low, echoing, unearthly laughter spills from it, and then a hand stretches out, fingers impossibly long, reaching toward you. Your breath lodges in your throat, and before thought can even catch up, your body acts. You sprint blindly across the uneven ground, fear clenching your chest so tightly you canāt even scream. Each beat of your heart drums in your skull, propelling you faster, faster, faster, just away.
You donāt dare look back, at least you try to, but every few strides, your eyes flick behind you. That, of course, is your second mistake.
Because with your gaze firmly behind you, where the danger is, you never see the obstacle in front of you. You slam into something solid. The impact sent you sprawling, your feet kicking out from under you as you hit the ground flat on your back. The jolt knocks the breath from your lungs, stars sparking across your vision as the world tilts. For a few dizzying moments, all you could do was clutch your lantern and wheeze like a dying animal.
The spinning won't stop, so you do the only thing you can: you throw your arm over your eyes and squeeze them shut. You curled tighter into yourself, hands clamped over your eyes, muttering shaky little pleas under your breath.
If I canāt see them, they canāt see me. If I canāt see them, they canātā
āThatās it,ā you muttered to yourself between ragged breaths, āThis is how I go. Goodbye, cruel world.ā
If I make it out of this, I swear Iāll write a letter to Mom. Iāll tell her I lied about the Midsommar Torte before dinner. Iāll even confess to eating the last Fruit Tandem Turnover, too. Justā¦ please donāt let the creepy shadow thing eat me. I haven't finished what I came here to do!
You lie there bracing for your end, counting the final seconds. But the killing blow never comes. Instead, heat travels over you. You open your eyes just in time to see a bright flame bloom in the darkness, cutting through the fog like a lance. The spirits recoil, hissing as blue-purple fire sears the spot where they hovered.
Somewhere in front of you, a figure moved with deliberate grace, holding the source of that light. A bright blue lantern.
āAre you alright?ā a deep voice asked, cutting clean through your spiral, somehow carrying you through your scattered thoughts and back into reality.
āPleaseā¦ā your voice cracked embarrassingly, breaking under the tension, and you closed your eyes again, pressing your palms to your face to hide the crybaby tears, āā¦no more heart attacks.ā
āShh.ā
The word comes calm and quiet, almost soothing. Then something brushes against your handāwarm. Not the clammy chill of the spirits, not the empty air youāve been trying to hide in. Warm. A soft tap at your trembling fingers, light and deliberate, before a hand curls gently around them. They guide your palms away from your face, and you let them, even though every nerve in your body wants to stay hidden. Slowly, cautiously, you open your eyes, letting blurry tears and muffled sniffles distort your vision.
And then you freeze.
Woah.
What a killer face. Pun not intended. You are far too close to death to be making such bad jokes.
His skin looked like glass, pale and smooth, almost fragile to the touch. His golden eyes, although pupilless, hold a steady brightness that makes it difficult to look away. Faint shadows rest beneath them, the kind that come from too many sleepless nights, emphasized by the thickness of his lashes. His hair, indigo darkening at the roots and lightening to blue at the tips, shifts slightly each time he moves, strands catching the faint glow of your combined lanterns.
Ah.
Nibelung. The Dragon King himself had come to Teyvat to claim your soul. Surely, this was it. Your number had been called. You were about to die and be reborn as one of the Moon Goddesses.
...
Wait. Wait, wait, wait-Moon Goddesses?! That wasnāt what you wanted! That was way above your pay grade! You hadnāt even paid your rent yet, let alone prepared for godhood!
Your jaw trembled as you blurted out, āI-I donāt want a promotion! I didnāt even sign the paperwork!ā
The not-Nibelung blinks. Once. Twice. His expression stays calm, unreadable, but you swear the corner of his lips twitches, like heās barely holding back a laugh. He lets out a small breath instead, bending down to one knee so he doesn't seem so intimidating.
āThis is no place to linger on a foggy night,ā he says, his voice lowers even more to the kind youād expect from someone used to handling frightened strays. One gloved hand crosses over his chest, palm against his heart. The other reaches toward you for you to take, patient and unshaking, while his dimmed yellow eyes stay locked on yours, āAllow me to escort you out.ā
So naturally, in the face of such beauty and composure, you panic.
āW-what? No! Donāt touch me! I mean-I-I have to get to the lighthouse!ā You scream, because even though you have greatly proven that you absolutely cannot get there yourself, there's no way you're going to go with some stranger.
āI assure you, I am not here to harm you," he says, tilting his head slightly, confused by the sudden hostility. He attempts to reach out again, fingers just seconds away from your hand. That makes you panic even more. You flail an arm out on pure instinct, aiming for him in a wild swing. It doesn't go very far as the man doesnāt even flinch. He just tilts his head back, dodging with ease.
āStay back!ā you squeak, scrambling up onto your feet. Your legs almost buckle beneath you, but fear fuels your clumsy sprint backward until youāve put a respectable amount of space between you and him. You're shaking so badly that your lantern rattles; its small, orange glow is barely more than a stubborn candle flame against his blue fire and the dense mist coiling through the cemetery.
Still, itās warm. Still, itās yours. You clutch the bronze shell tight against your chest, the metal discolored from all the years of being squeezed whenever you were scared. No matter what, youāve always believed its little light would keep you safe. So, with shaking knees and scared eyes, you thrust it toward him like a weapon.
āBack away, you filthy faker!ā Your voice cracks halfway through, but you push on, āO-Or I'll make sure to come back and tell the Lightkeepers about you, and trust me, you don't want to mess with them!"
The night falls silent. Even the fog seems to pause. The manās expression shifts ever so slightly, not anger, not mockery, but hurt. Genuine hurt. You blink, your arm lowering awkwardly, unsure if you should feel guilty.
āI seeā¦ā His voice comes out empty, carrying no hint of judgment or sadness. He draws his hand back and straightens, shoulders settling into place. A faint shake of his head follows, more weary than dismissive. The fog around him shifts slightly, no longer as close as before.
āMy name is Flins,ā he says, each word careful and deliberate, āI am a Lightkeeper of Nod-Krai, guardian of the lighthouse and the graveyard on this island. It is my duty to keep the flame burning and to guide the lost who wander here, both the living and the dead.ā
That's a bit of a bad joke, isn't it? The thought slips out before you can stop it. The Lightkeepers were supposed to be almost angelic, larger than life, glowing examples of strength. Not some... normal guy! Heās beautiful, sure, but the dark circles under his eyes and the dark clothes make him look more like your father than the heroes you once drew in your notebooks.
And yet, the memory of that flame lingers. It had been real, strong enough to drive the spirits back when you thought all was lost. For all his edges, thereās no denying the power he holds.
āā¦You're the light keeper? But- But you donāt look like anything in the stories...ā you whisper disheartened, more to yourself than to him.
A flicker of something crosses his face, āStories tend to leave out the less glamorous details."
You clutch the lantern tighter, its warm circle of light a fragile shield against the cold seeping in from all sides. The thought that this weary, dim-eyed stranger is the very figure you grew up admiring presses down on you, making the night feel heavier with disappointment.
Your motherās stories painted Lightkeepers as shining heroes, fearless defenders who stood against monsters taller than houses, warriors who were second only to the Moon Goddess in your eyes. You grew up believing you had to be just like them. But standing here, staring at him in this barren cemetery with a lighthouse with no light, you feel like the faker. This isnāt the ideal you imagined.
The heroes in your motherās stories never looked so human.
hey, can i ask if you're still writing the phainon x reader fic? or you're not continuing it anymore? š
oh shit has a month already gone by, what the fuck is the concept of time. I don't even know what year I'm in or how old I've grown.
But yes anon, that fic is still being written. I'm going to aim for the end of this month so I can at least pretend to be somewhat on schedule, but regardless, I will post it. Eventually.
yoo here to reblog and say that wow, I got absolutely side tracked and justākinda creatively burnt out. I am so sorry anon, I have no idea when I will get this done. It's either the fic or my life at this point and I'm losing both.
hey, can i ask if you're still writing the phainon x reader fic? or you're not continuing it anymore? š
oh shit has a month already gone by, what the fuck is the concept of time. I don't even know what year I'm in or how old I've grown.
But yes anon, that fic is still being written. I'm going to aim for the end of this month so I can at least pretend to be somewhat on schedule, but regardless, I will post it. Eventually.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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ā When youāve bestied so hard, you end up stuck in a nine-year pining phase. You were sure Phainon would eventually get hitched to Mydei, letting you finally move on with your feelingsābut things didnāt go as planned. Now, heās back to being single, and youāre not about to let this drag into double digits. Itās now or never.
Contains: Modern AU | Failure reader vs boyfailure Phainon | Probably OOC | Phainon x Mydei (not end goal)
Full Fic: [ TBA ]
[Masterlist]
My offering to Phainon: a happy ending. I am literally posting this right before I roll, so please come home with your lightcone, and my life is yours.
"Mydei and I broke up."
The words barely have time to settle before you chokeāloud, graceless, like youāve just inhaled the ash from every cigarette butt ever discarded on the streets. Itās ugly. Itās embarrassing. Itās entirely expected.
Phainon, to his credit, is polite enough not to laugh or comment. He doesnāt even give you one of those insufferable, knowing smirks. Instead, he simply slides a cup of water toward youābecause, despite everything, heās a gentleman. You snatch it up, throat burning, lungs spasming in betrayal. Tiny tears prick at the corners of your eyes, blurring your vision as you desperately fight to suppress the hacking. You take a slow sipācareful, measuredābecause the last thing you need right now is to choke again and actually die before you can process what the hell you just heard.
"Sorry, one more time. I think I just had a brief hallucination," you say, blinking rapidly as if that might reset reality itself. Your voice wavers between disbelief and queasiness, your throat still raw from choking. Thereās a ringing in your ears as your brain is actively rejecting the information, trying to overwrite it with something that makes more sense. Because seriouslyāwhat the fuck did you just hear?
"Mydei and I broke upā¦ yesterday," Phainon repeats, sounding almost sheepish as he drops his gaze back to his foodāthe same food heās been absentmindedly poking at for the last few minutes, pushing grains of rice around. Which, in hindsight, should have been a massive red flag. This man, who has raided your fridge at three in the morning as a starving raccoon in the throes of a failed calorie deficitāwho has, on more than one occasion, inhaled an entire meal before you even had time to sit downāhas been sitting here, not eating.
Yup. You heard that right.
Phainonāthe very same Phainon you were pretty sure was going to drop to one knee by the end of the year, who spoke about Mydei like the sun wouldnāt rise without himāis now single.
"I'll kill him. Where did you say he was now? I have a shovel in my trunk," you say, keeping your voice as serious as possible. Because thereās just no way Phainon did anything wrongāthis man is the biggest green flag youāve ever seen in your life. The kind of person who would help an old lady cross the street, return extra change to the cashier, and offer you the last slice of cake without hesitation.
Thankfully, Phainon laughs at your joke.
(Itās not a joke.)
His laughter is bright and full-bodied, the kind that fills the entire room and makes everything feel a little lighter, and the air itself is easier to breathe. He throws his head back, shoulders shaking, eyes crinkling with pure amusement. And, seriouslyāMydei. How the hell did you fumble this bag?
"Please don't. I'd be upset if I couldn't see you again," he chuckles, the sound warm and familiar. But the laughter barely has time to settle before his expression dims, like a candle flickering against an unseen draft.
"It's not like that," Phainon says, his voice quieter now, more measured, "We still care a lot about each other, it's justā¦ with me here finishing school and him moving back to Castrum Kremnos to take over his dad's company, the distance isā¦ hard."
His fingers idly trace the rim of his cup, slow and deliberate, as if the motion alone can ground him. But his gazeāfixed somewhere on the tableāis distant. Somewhere far away, lost in thoughts he isnāt saying out loud. Itās not just about the breakup. Itās the weight of everything unspoken, the quiet acceptance of something slipping through his fingers, of a future he must have once imagined but now has to let go of.
"Plus," he exhales, shoulders slumping just a fraction, "We barely even get a chance to see each other. So it'sā¦ for the best that we end things here before we startābefore things reach the point of no return."
His words hang in the air, heavy yet resigned like he's already gone through every possible outcome and settled on the least painful one.
Ah. Healthy communication and putting yourself first. Can't relate.
"B-Butā¦ I mean, yeah, sure, butā¦ maybe just go on a break?" you blurt out, your voice catching on the words as your fingers twist together, the nerves in your chest coiling tighter with every passing second, "I'm sureāno, I'm positiveāthat the two of you could work it out. I mean, from the sound of things, itās not as if youāve completely cut each other off, soā¦"
Your words spill out in a frantic tumble, desperate, scrambling for somethingāanythingāto hold onto, because this doesnāt make sense. It canāt. Not when you know Phainon, when youāve seen it all unfold from the very beginning. You were there for the late-night hangouts, for the bleary-eyed conversations stretching into the early hours, for the quiet moments when he thought no one was watching and the messy ones when emotions boiled over.
You were there that night at the bar, sitting across from him as his whole world tilted on its axisāwatching in real time as he fell in love with that blonde guitarist, his expression caught somewhere between wonder and panic. You were the one who got blasted with late-night texts, Phainon slipping into full schoolgirl mode, overanalyzing everythingāevery glance, every word, every infuriatingly cryptic emoji Mydei sent back. He filled your notifications with fire emojis and tongue-sticking-out faces over literally anything Mydei did, as if each moment was proof of something bigger, something just out of reach. You were the one he ran to, sobbing in full-blown hysteria because he thought Mydei had a crush on Castorice, even though everyone knew Castorice was very uninterested. You were the one who sat beside him through the worst of it, suffering through the absolute shittiest action movies just to take his mind off things, pretending not to notice when his eyes stayed glassy long after the credits rolled.
So no, you donāt get it. You canāt get it. Because after everythingāafter all of thatāhow is he just letting this go?
"Mmm, perhaps," Phainon says mysteriously, his voice tinged with something you can't quite place, as he finally takes a bite of his foodāfood that's surely gone cold by now, the steam long gone. God, he looks like a sad puppy, his posture slumped, and the soft, distant look in his eyes makes something tighten in your chest.
"Don't get me wrong," he continues, chewing slowly, his gaze flicking back to the table, avoiding your eyes, "I'm not fine with this. With any of this. But with the way things are going... I donāt think we would have lasted long."
Bullshit, but okay. Go on.
"We have different futures that don't mesh well," Phainon says quietly, his voice thoughtful, "It would be unfair for me to ask him to drop everything, just as it would be unfair if he asked me to drop everything here and move back to Kremnous with him, to stay there for the rest of my life. You know, right person, wrong time. I know, on the outside, we looked fine, but I think I was unsatisfied with the relationship for a while. It wasn't what I was expecting, and even after we got together, things never really changed. Maybe that was for the best..."
Phainon doesn't elaborate on that last point, and though you want to ask, it's not your business, nor is it your place to probe. So, instead, you nod along slowly, trying to make sense of it all.
"Will youā¦ be okay?" you ask tentatively, your voice soft with concern. Phainon looks at you, and for a moment, thereās a painful stillness in his gaze. Then, heartbreakingly, he shakes his head, the movement slow and resigned.
"No," he murmurs quietly, "not for a while."
Silence settles between you, thick and unfamiliar, as you absently fiddle with your utensils. Usually, conversations flow effortlessly between you and Phainon, even when youāre at each otherās throats over the stupidest disagreements. Snark, banter, teasingāitās always been easy. But this? This is different. This Phainonāthe one staring down at his barely touched plate, the one who looks lost in his own thoughts, like heās carrying something too heavy to bear aloneāis not the Phainon youāre used to. And you donāt know how to reach him. Do you pretend everything is fine? Crack a joke to lighten the mood? Leave it alone and hope he talks when heās ready? Do you justā¦ give him a hug? Would that even help? What are the steps youāre supposed to take here?
"Sorry, I must have brought the mood down. How did your presentation go? Get any of those snobby professors to laugh?" Phainon chuckles, but you can see it for what it isāa mask, stretched thin over something raw. Still, you play along.
You launch into a rant, hands moving animatedly as you recount the sheer terror of nearly blanking out the moment one professor looked at you funny. The kind of look that makes your stomach drop, that makes you feel youāre already failing before youāve even opened your mouth. And thenājust as you stepped into the roomāshe started writing something down. What did you do wrong? Did you breathe incorrectly? Or worseādid she somehow know about the bruises from when you ate shit on the pavement after tripping over absolutely nothing? Because letās be real, at this point, it wouldnāt even be surprising. Maybe she had psychic powers. Maybe she could sense your inherent lack of coordination. Itās not your fault that youāre just a citizen. A normal human doomed to battle gravity every damn day.
As you finish your meals and prepare to leave, you find yourself locked in a battle over the bill, but Phainon is an immovable brick wall. Every time you try to grab for it, he skillfully evadesāsidestepping, blocking, even flicking your forehead at one point as if you were a pesky little sibling. Before you can make a final desperate attempt, he effortlessly strong-arms you away, pressing his card into the hands of a bemused waitress with the confidence of someone whoās already won. With a satisfied smirk, he turns to you, adjusting his scarf as the wind picks up, threading through his hair and sending stray strands dancing across his forehead. It should be annoying, but of course, it only makes him look effortlessly coolāa true protagonist in a melodramatic film, standing against the backdrop of a crisp evening sky.
"Thanks for listening to me. I really appreciate it, especially since we haven't seen each other in a while," he says, a soft smile tugging at his lips. His voice is quieter now, the usual bravado dimmed just enough to make your chest ache.
You nodāmaybe a little too rigorouslyābecause of course. Of course, youād be there for him. You always have been. And you know, without a doubt, that heād do the same for you. Itās just who you are to each other. And youāre justā¦ glad. Glad that Phainon, for all his easygoing grins and insufferable teasing, trusts you enough to let his guard down. That he knows he doesnāt have to keep up the act around you. That for once, he can just beāno witty comebacks, no forced smiles, no pretending. Just Phainon. But then, because the universe has a cruel sense of humor, he tilts his head, mischief creeping back into his expression.
"When are you going to get a crush on someone? I've got at least three years of pining and dating woes on you."
He grins like itās a joke, like itās just another thing to tease you about, but your stomach twists, becauseā
Ah, right. Thatās the thing, bestie.
I've been in love with you from the start.
---
Alright, I'll be back in 10 minutes on whether or not this man has scammed me. Your full 20k word fic rides on this buddy, don't disappoint me :)
Update: Alright, he gets a part 2. Phainon wanters will be havers.
ā When youāve bestied so hard, you end up stuck in a nine-year pining phase. You were sure Phainon would eventually get hitched to Mydei, letting you finally move on with your feelingsābut things didnāt go as planned. Now, heās back to being single, and youāre not about to let this drag into double digits. Itās now or never.
Contains: Modern AU | Failure reader vs boyfailure Phainon | Probably OOC | Phainon x Mydei (not end goal)
Full Fic: [ TBA ]
[Masterlist]
My offering to Phainon: a happy ending. I am literally posting this right before I roll, so please come home with your lightcone, and my life is yours.
"Mydei and I broke up."
The words barely have time to settle before you chokeāloud, graceless, like youāve just inhaled the ash from every cigarette butt ever discarded on the streets. Itās ugly. Itās embarrassing. Itās entirely expected.
Phainon, to his credit, is polite enough not to laugh or comment. He doesnāt even give you one of those insufferable, knowing smirks. Instead, he simply slides a cup of water toward youābecause, despite everything, heās a gentleman. You snatch it up, throat burning, lungs spasming in betrayal. Tiny tears prick at the corners of your eyes, blurring your vision as you desperately fight to suppress the hacking. You take a slow sipācareful, measuredābecause the last thing you need right now is to choke again and actually die before you can process what the hell you just heard.
"Sorry, one more time. I think I just had a brief hallucination," you say, blinking rapidly as if that might reset reality itself. Your voice wavers between disbelief and queasiness, your throat still raw from choking. Thereās a ringing in your ears as your brain is actively rejecting the information, trying to overwrite it with something that makes more sense. Because seriouslyāwhat the fuck did you just hear?
"Mydei and I broke upā¦ yesterday," Phainon repeats, sounding almost sheepish as he drops his gaze back to his foodāthe same food heās been absentmindedly poking at for the last few minutes, pushing grains of rice around. Which, in hindsight, should have been a massive red flag. This man, who has raided your fridge at three in the morning as a starving raccoon in the throes of a failed calorie deficitāwho has, on more than one occasion, inhaled an entire meal before you even had time to sit downāhas been sitting here, not eating.
Yup. You heard that right.
Phainonāthe very same Phainon you were pretty sure was going to drop to one knee by the end of the year, who spoke about Mydei like the sun wouldnāt rise without himāis now single.
"I'll kill him. Where did you say he was now? I have a shovel in my trunk," you say, keeping your voice as serious as possible. Because thereās just no way Phainon did anything wrongāthis man is the biggest green flag youāve ever seen in your life. The kind of person who would help an old lady cross the street, return extra change to the cashier, and offer you the last slice of cake without hesitation.
Thankfully, Phainon laughs at your joke.
(Itās not a joke.)
His laughter is bright and full-bodied, the kind that fills the entire room and makes everything feel a little lighter, and the air itself is easier to breathe. He throws his head back, shoulders shaking, eyes crinkling with pure amusement. And, seriouslyāMydei. How the hell did you fumble this bag?
"Please don't. I'd be upset if I couldn't see you again," he chuckles, the sound warm and familiar. But the laughter barely has time to settle before his expression dims, like a candle flickering against an unseen draft.
"It's not like that," Phainon says, his voice quieter now, more measured, "We still care a lot about each other, it's justā¦ with me here finishing school and him moving back to Castrum Kremnos to take over his dad's company, the distance isā¦ hard."
His fingers idly trace the rim of his cup, slow and deliberate, as if the motion alone can ground him. But his gazeāfixed somewhere on the tableāis distant. Somewhere far away, lost in thoughts he isnāt saying out loud. Itās not just about the breakup. Itās the weight of everything unspoken, the quiet acceptance of something slipping through his fingers, of a future he must have once imagined but now has to let go of.
"Plus," he exhales, shoulders slumping just a fraction, "We barely even get a chance to see each other. So it'sā¦ for the best that we end things here before we startābefore things reach the point of no return."
His words hang in the air, heavy yet resigned like he's already gone through every possible outcome and settled on the least painful one.
Ah. Healthy communication and putting yourself first. Can't relate.
"B-Butā¦ I mean, yeah, sure, butā¦ maybe just go on a break?" you blurt out, your voice catching on the words as your fingers twist together, the nerves in your chest coiling tighter with every passing second, "I'm sureāno, I'm positiveāthat the two of you could work it out. I mean, from the sound of things, itās not as if youāve completely cut each other off, soā¦"
Your words spill out in a frantic tumble, desperate, scrambling for somethingāanythingāto hold onto, because this doesnāt make sense. It canāt. Not when you know Phainon, when youāve seen it all unfold from the very beginning. You were there for the late-night hangouts, for the bleary-eyed conversations stretching into the early hours, for the quiet moments when he thought no one was watching and the messy ones when emotions boiled over.
You were there that night at the bar, sitting across from him as his whole world tilted on its axisāwatching in real time as he fell in love with that blonde guitarist, his expression caught somewhere between wonder and panic. You were the one who got blasted with late-night texts, Phainon slipping into full schoolgirl mode, overanalyzing everythingāevery glance, every word, every infuriatingly cryptic emoji Mydei sent back. He filled your notifications with fire emojis and tongue-sticking-out faces over literally anything Mydei did, as if each moment was proof of something bigger, something just out of reach. You were the one he ran to, sobbing in full-blown hysteria because he thought Mydei had a crush on Castorice, even though everyone knew Castorice was very uninterested. You were the one who sat beside him through the worst of it, suffering through the absolute shittiest action movies just to take his mind off things, pretending not to notice when his eyes stayed glassy long after the credits rolled.
So no, you donāt get it. You canāt get it. Because after everythingāafter all of thatāhow is he just letting this go?
"Mmm, perhaps," Phainon says mysteriously, his voice tinged with something you can't quite place, as he finally takes a bite of his foodāfood that's surely gone cold by now, the steam long gone. God, he looks like a sad puppy, his posture slumped, and the soft, distant look in his eyes makes something tighten in your chest.
"Don't get me wrong," he continues, chewing slowly, his gaze flicking back to the table, avoiding your eyes, "I'm not fine with this. With any of this. But with the way things are going... I donāt think we would have lasted long."
Bullshit, but okay. Go on.
"We have different futures that don't mesh well," Phainon says quietly, his voice thoughtful, "It would be unfair for me to ask him to drop everything, just as it would be unfair if he asked me to drop everything here and move back to Kremnous with him, to stay there for the rest of my life. You know, right person, wrong time. I know, on the outside, we looked fine, but I think I was unsatisfied with the relationship for a while. It wasn't what I was expecting, and even after we got together, things never really changed. Maybe that was for the best..."
Phainon doesn't elaborate on that last point, and though you want to ask, it's not your business, nor is it your place to probe. So, instead, you nod along slowly, trying to make sense of it all.
"Will youā¦ be okay?" you ask tentatively, your voice soft with concern. Phainon looks at you, and for a moment, thereās a painful stillness in his gaze. Then, heartbreakingly, he shakes his head, the movement slow and resigned.
"No," he murmurs quietly, "not for a while."
Silence settles between you, thick and unfamiliar, as you absently fiddle with your utensils. Usually, conversations flow effortlessly between you and Phainon, even when youāre at each otherās throats over the stupidest disagreements. Snark, banter, teasingāitās always been easy. But this? This is different. This Phainonāthe one staring down at his barely touched plate, the one who looks lost in his own thoughts, like heās carrying something too heavy to bear aloneāis not the Phainon youāre used to. And you donāt know how to reach him. Do you pretend everything is fine? Crack a joke to lighten the mood? Leave it alone and hope he talks when heās ready? Do you justā¦ give him a hug? Would that even help? What are the steps youāre supposed to take here?
"Sorry, I must have brought the mood down. How did your presentation go? Get any of those snobby professors to laugh?" Phainon chuckles, but you can see it for what it isāa mask, stretched thin over something raw. Still, you play along.
You launch into a rant, hands moving animatedly as you recount the sheer terror of nearly blanking out the moment one professor looked at you funny. The kind of look that makes your stomach drop, that makes you feel youāre already failing before youāve even opened your mouth. And thenājust as you stepped into the roomāshe started writing something down. What did you do wrong? Did you breathe incorrectly? Or worseādid she somehow know about the bruises from when you ate shit on the pavement after tripping over absolutely nothing? Because letās be real, at this point, it wouldnāt even be surprising. Maybe she had psychic powers. Maybe she could sense your inherent lack of coordination. Itās not your fault that youāre just a citizen. A normal human doomed to battle gravity every damn day.
As you finish your meals and prepare to leave, you find yourself locked in a battle over the bill, but Phainon is an immovable brick wall. Every time you try to grab for it, he skillfully evadesāsidestepping, blocking, even flicking your forehead at one point as if you were a pesky little sibling. Before you can make a final desperate attempt, he effortlessly strong-arms you away, pressing his card into the hands of a bemused waitress with the confidence of someone whoās already won. With a satisfied smirk, he turns to you, adjusting his scarf as the wind picks up, threading through his hair and sending stray strands dancing across his forehead. It should be annoying, but of course, it only makes him look effortlessly coolāa true protagonist in a melodramatic film, standing against the backdrop of a crisp evening sky.
"Thanks for listening to me. I really appreciate it, especially since we haven't seen each other in a while," he says, a soft smile tugging at his lips. His voice is quieter now, the usual bravado dimmed just enough to make your chest ache.
You nodāmaybe a little too rigorouslyābecause of course. Of course, youād be there for him. You always have been. And you know, without a doubt, that heād do the same for you. Itās just who you are to each other. And youāre justā¦ glad. Glad that Phainon, for all his easygoing grins and insufferable teasing, trusts you enough to let his guard down. That he knows he doesnāt have to keep up the act around you. That for once, he can just beāno witty comebacks, no forced smiles, no pretending. Just Phainon. But then, because the universe has a cruel sense of humor, he tilts his head, mischief creeping back into his expression.
"When are you going to get a crush on someone? I've got at least three years of pining and dating woes on you."
He grins like itās a joke, like itās just another thing to tease you about, but your stomach twists, becauseā
Ah, right. Thatās the thing, bestie.
I've been in love with you from the start.
---
Alright, I'll be back in 10 minutes on whether or not this man has scammed me. Your full 20k word fic rides on this buddy, don't disappoint me :)
Update: Alright, he gets a part 2. Phainon wanters will be havers.
ā Jing Yuan, Blade, Dan Heng, Imbibitor Lunae, Dr. Ratio + Luocha
[Masterlist]
The title is from Cowboy Bebop. I used their "Parting" voice lines if anyone was curious. Ignore how I'm using a Kafka gif for a fic with only men. I promise this is still a "genshin" blog.
Jing Yuan
"Mmm, rest well... My apologies. There is still some work to be done and I can't see you out personally."
You blink at him before you narrow your eyes and give him a judging stare. Your fingers reach out to curl around the sleeve of his uniform, giving it a small tug that he willingly steps into despite his earlier words. He doesn't try to hide the amusement in his eyes, even letting out a soft chuckle that makes your lips downturn into a frown. Jing Yuan reaches up, smoothing the crease between your eyebrows before resting on your cheek.
"It's obvious that you're tired. You should rest for a little bit more before you go back to work," you lightly scold as you give another weak tug for him to return to your shared home. Another chuckle escapes him as he places his other hand on your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles through the fabric for a few seconds to attempt to appease you. "It's been a while since we've shared a meal together..."
Jing Yuan's eyes soften yet he politely removes your hand attached to his sleeve. This time he avoids your gaze, the disappointment flowing heavy in the air, when he shakes his head and steps back.
"Next time, I promise," he whispers, squeezing your hand to hopefully convey his sincerity. "I'll take a day off as well. I heard that our Trailblazer friend has restored Aurum Alley back to its former glory. I'm sure Yanqing would love to join us as well."
You seem to mull over it in your head. To trade one night for a full day is tempting, plus Yanqing has been running himself ragged given the recent events. It would be nice to have a break where it can just be the three of you without any military or political weight hovering above you.
"...fine. But if you break your promise, I'll sic Mimi on you," you pout at him, twisting your hand from his grip to poke him in the chest.
"I...shall plan accordingly then," he laughs awkwardly because he knows you will follow through with that threat. He still has the scratch marks on the walls as proof. Playful or not, Mimi is unfortunately an overly heavy lion.
Blade
"Go. When theĀ maraĀ strikes, you don't want to be next to me."
"Is that what you say to everyone who tries to help you?" you huff as you carefully bandage his wounds, the white bandages seeping red slowly as you wind them around his torso. Despite the sarcasm dripping from your tone, he can tell you're genuinely angry with him this time. If it were anyone else, he would shake them off to leave, but when you look like you're two breaths away from bursting into tears, so he can only take a deep breath and let you bandage him up.
"They'll heal. They always do," he says after a moment of silence. Alas, his attempt at comfort does nothing but make you more stressed. He winces slightly when you pull too tightly on the bandage, the gauze scrapping against his gash that's already stitching itself together again.
"I know, so shut up already," you spit in an attempt to save face, and he decides to offer a bit of kindness by not commenting on it, "I'm not doing this for you."
He knows. You used to be an ordinary medic before the Stelleron Hunters recruited you, and you incidentally had to switch careers to something more violent. But old habits die hard, and this small bit of control helps to ease your worries. Even if it's only by a small margin. Your weakened hold lets the bandages fall into a heap on your lap as your shoulder shag. You press your forehead against his shoulder just slightly above where his wound is already rapidly healing into another scar.
"Can't you be more careful?" you sigh into his shoulder, a smear of red on your cheek that you both ignore. Blood will wash out.
"I'm sorry," he replies. He won't lie to you and say that he'll try. For as much as the mara controls him and his emotions, he wills them away for a few seconds.
Dan Heng
"Time to turn in alreadyā¦? Thanks for the reminder. It's easy to lose track of time in the archives ā before you know it, a whole day's gone byā¦ See you tomorrow."
You have to stifle your laugh lest you make Dan Heng more embarrassed that he kicks you out of the room to save some dignity. Even though he says all that, he hasn't once lessened his hold on you for you to actually get up and leave. If anything, his arms around your waist tighten so you're practically molded into his chest. To be fair, you had lost track of time as well. After the recent adventures and running everywhere, it felt nice to settle into Dan Heng's lap and waste a day away in the archives, just basking in each other's presence. No crazy hunter trying to stab Dan Heng or overactive mara-struck enemies attempting to decapitate you. Just the hum of the machines and the warmth of company that neither of you are ready to leave so soon.
"You know...technically it's already "tomorrow" since it's 2am. We could just stay here," you muse as you tilt your head up to look at his unimpressed expression. The longer the two of you stay up, the worse the rest of the day will be from the lack of sleep. Plus it's not healthy to stay up to reset a sleep schedule.
"You know we can't do that. Besides, you might be comfortable but this shelf has been digging into my back for the past few hours," he sighs, shifting his body to prove a point further.
"10 more minutes," you bargain.
"2," he denies flatly.
"5?" you try again.
"2." He stares you at with a frown.
"3!" You stare right back with a cheeky grin.
"...fine."
He hides the fond smile into your hair as you cheer on gaining a single minute.
Dan Heng ā¢ Imbibitor Lunae
"It's getting late, I won't be staying up much longer. Sleep well."
You have to stifle your amusement less you make Dan Heng recede even further into his shell, but you can't help but think it's kind of cute how awkward this dragon can be sometimes. The way he stands so stiffly and not at all relaxed for sleep, how his eyes are staring at anything but you who is standing right in front of him, coupled with the uneasy way he says for you to "sleep well.". As if he's questioning if it's okay for him to say something so casually despite all the time you've spent in each other's company. Dragon horns or not.
"Much longer...huh. And pray tell, how many minutes does that equate to again? It's kinda hard to tell when I'm talking to an infinite respawn glitch," you tease, lightly punching him in the shoulder makes Dan Heng crack a tiny smile. You mentally pat yourself on the back for that little win. Ever since the Astral Express concluded its journey on the Xianzhou, the new dragon had been walking on eggshells around everyone.
"You're talking too much to that hacker girl. That's not how the vidyadhara reincarnation works either," he sighs but the tension is gone from his shoulders. If you're able to joke about it then you're not mad at him lying about his origins, even though you haven't been in the first place. "But I will return to the Archives with the system hour."
You spare a glance at the clock. It'll be midnight in another 20 minutes. Has it really gotten that late so quickly?
"Alright, but if I check the data bank and there are new entries, I'm kicking your door open mister," you place your hands on your hips as you gesture two V-sign fingers at your own eyes, then at him. "Good night Dan Heng. See you in the morning.".
Dr. Ratio
"Another day has passed. If your problem still hasn't been solved, is it possible that the problem is you?"
He tilts his head to the side gracefully as you hurl your pen at him. The cheap plastic breaks on impact and leaves a smear of ink that you'll have to clean up unless you want another stain for Dr. Ratio to insult you for. Perhaps you can use his name as a tax write-off? It's the least he could do for you with how much attitude you put up with.
"What if my problem is you? If you didn't dodge then I wouldn't have to waste so many precious pens," you counter as you reach for the white cloth hanging from his waist to use to mop up the ink. One that has Ratio slapping your hand away with his stone booklet. He even dares to wipe at it with a handkerchief, as if touching your skin is equivalent to touching trash, rather than offering it to you!
"Ow! Geez, you really don't hold back. I wasn't going to actually use your clothing!" you fake sob as you nurse your poor hand close to your chest. It doesn't hurt as badly as you're making it out to be. You've seen Veritas throw chalk at his enemies and leave chalk-sized holes in them. "Besides, it's not like I can do anything about my "problems". [ Rahu ] isn't the easiest place to investigate..."
Your body slumps in as you think back on how little progress you've made with that strange planet. Diamond has been kind enough to not assign a deadline but you can feel the quiet disappointment every time you report that you don't have anything new to share each month. Maybe Veritas is right. Maybe the problem is you.
"Which is why you've been given the role. The numbers written on a stats page or monthly reports do not measure the trial and error of someone's pursuit of knowledge. Very few scholars I know would be capable of continuing for the sole purpose of finding the truth. Surely you're capable of seeing that? Unless I've severely underestimated your intelligence," Veritas states as if it were a fact. He reaches to take your hand, giving it a once over to see if he has truly hurt you. His words bring a small smile as your heart swells at his encouragement as you squeeze his hand back.
Luocha
"Have an early rest. I'll keep watch here."
It's the last thing you hear before your eyelids droop close and sleep takes you under. Your body slumps against Luocha's side, his hands already out and ready to catch you, before he gently maneuvers you so your head rests in his lap. He hums humourlessly as he combs through the strands of your hair, a bit of dirt clinging onto the ends. He'll have to tend to that later.
"I wonder what someone like you dreams of," he contemplates although he doesn't expect an answer. Your face is the picture of serenity as your chest rises up and down slowly with each breath, completely dead to the world. You're far too trusting of him, even his first meeting on friendly terms with Dan Heng hadn't made that man lower his guard. Sure, they had been on the same team but Dan Heng would constantly look behind him as if he was waiting to get stabbed in the back by Luocha's sword. Yet here you are, fast asleep in his lap and entirely defenseless.
A loud buzzing sounds from your pocket that Luocha reaches for to check, you're not going to be awake to answer it anyway.
"What considerate companions you have," he muses as Dan Heng's caller ID flashes on your phone before his call gets sent to voicemail. It's truly a blessing that all phones operate under the same system programming as he holds down the power button, effectively shutting the phone and other potential distractions silent. Under the artificial night light, when it's just the two of you here, no one can see the secret smile on his lips. Nor the possessive hold he has on you.
OH MY GOD I AM REPLYING TO THIS SOOOO LATE MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES
the answer is yes, go for it, pls tag me when you do as I would like to read it if that is okay with you.
Going to piggyback off this reblog: if thereās anything I write that inspires you, you have full pre-approved permission to write your own version (unless itās a commission because those ideas are not mine), just please tag me in it because I would like to read it šāāļø
Request: [ A Modern AU with each character as a mythological figure/being. Phainon as a guardian angel, Mydei as an undying demigod, and Anaxa as a cosmic horror parasite. ]
Note: Liberties were taken with each character's cultural/mythological backgrounds. More information at the end.
[Masterlist]
Back at it again for another season, baby! Thank you so much for commissioning me, and I hope you like it!
Phainon
Daemon (Daimon / ĪĪ±ĪÆĪ¼ĻĪ½) ā A spirit or semi-divine guide, neither good nor evil, acting as a quiet protector or inner voice. Unseen but ever-present, it might steer fate, whisper advice, or guide you toward your destiny.
ACT I, SCENE I
FADE IN:
EXT. DINGY ALLEY BEHIND A RESTAURANT - NIGHT
A flickering neon butterfly sign buzzes overhead, sputtering in embarrassed shades of pink and red. Its failing light spills across a grease-stained back doorāthe kind that hasnāt closed properly in years. Rain slicks the pavement, pooling into oil-slick puddles that shimmer with distorted reflections. The air reeks of old gasoline, wet cardboard, and something burnt-out and electrical. Trash bags slump against the faded red brick walls, both deflated and bloated. You wonder if there are any dead bodies inside, just waiting to be discovered, then ignored.
And thereās the knife at your throat.
Not an assassin. Not a business deal gone wrong. Not even the aftermath of someoneās drunken spiral. Just a manādesperate, hollow-eyed, with hands that wonāt stop shaking. A ratty ski mask clings to his head, threadbare and sagging, worn past the point of dignity. His jacket is soaked and sour with mildew. Cracked fingers clutch a rusty blade too tight, one wrong breath away from splitting your skin. He reeks of cheap liquor, bile, and something sweet thatās been dead too long.
āMoney,ā he hisses, voice brittle and raw, āNow.ā
It's all so...
disgustingly boring.
What happened to the gunmetal briefcases and monogrammed bullets? To assassins who glided over wet pavement without a sound, slipping through shadow and silence with practiced ease? What happened to the paper-screen duels, where silhouettes clashed in ghostly choreographyāevery movement a whisper before the final blow landed in a burst of stylized violence? Even the black-and-white mafia films had flair: steel-toed boots, pinstripe suits, cigar smoke curling around sneers and snub-nosed pistols. They kicked down doors with bravado, spilled in with bad accents and worse metaphors, and died in poetic slow motionāwhite rose pinned to their chest, black blood on their cuffs.
But this?
No drama. No build-up. No artistry. Just another man at the end of his rope, waving a blade in the dark, praying fear would do what fate never could. The whole scene screamed low effortālike a student film with no budget, no vision. Pig slop. Bloated. Overdone. Youād seen better tension in a toothpaste commercial. It felt like every review youād ever gotten: flat direction, overwrought, emotionally shallow. You could practically hear a snide criticās voice echoing in your skull as your eyes rolled so hard they nearly got stuck.
āWow. Really phoning it in tonight, huh?ā you mutter, voice dry as sandpaper, āSeriously? You think Iām worth mugging? I donāt even have a coat.ā
You slump against the rain-slick brick, the mortar biting through your thin button-up. Cold seeps straight into your spine as the knife presses harderānot deep enough to break skin, just enough to remind you this scene isnāt over yet. The muggerās hands tremble like a marionette with its strings half-cut.
You sighālong, theatrical, like a curtain call no one asked for.
āCome on. Whereās the emotion? The stakes? Youāre desperateāshow me that. Cry a little. Maybe scream. Iām all for authenticity, but youāve got to rehearse your lines before curtain. This kind of improv?ā You wag a finger, āIt throws everyone off. Wrecks continuity. Makes for very angry sponsors.ā
One hand lifts in mock surrender, the other gesturing vaguely, āHonestly, if I were running this scene, Iād cut you entirely. Maybe replace you with a mute clown. At least thatād be memorable.ā
āI said money!ā His voice cracksāthin, frayed, angry.
āAlright, alrightāno need to get moody,ā you say, lifting your hands like youāre trying to soothe a diva mid-tantrum, āIāve got some cash. Right side, pants pocket. Not a lot, but heyāsupporting roles donāt pay like they used to.ā
The mugger steps in, close enough for you to smell the sour rot of his breath. The blade catches a flicker of neon as he moves. One hand drops from your collar, trembling fingers inching toward your pocket, greedy for the crumpled bills stuffed inside.
Thenā
A stutter.
A splat.
He drops like dead weight.
You blink. You really hope he's not dead. Police on your set doesn't make for great paparazzi.
āLetās not ruin a perfectly mediocre Tuesday night, yeah?ā
The voice cuts clean through the alleyās tension. Behind the crumpled body, a man stands framed in the dim glow of the restaurantās now-open back door. It swings lazily shut behind him, sighing on its hinges. A sliver of warm kitchen light spills into the dark, casting him in sharp streaksācity haze curling at his shoulders like smoke, neon lights stuttering across the shock of white hair. Tall. Broad-shouldered. He wears a chefās coat, still dusted with flour. Oil stains splatter faded patterns across the front, abstract and familiarālike heās been through worse than grease fires. Sleeves rolled to the elbow. Forearms lean, marked by old burns and kitchen scars that tell their own stories.
But itās his eyes that freeze the moment: too calm. A bit cheeky actually.
And thenāhe smiles.
āYou alright?ā he asked, voice warm and casual, as if this were all terribly normal.
You exhaledāfinally. āNo. Worse.ā
His grin widenedāeasy, lopsided, a bit cute, āOh?ā
You tilted your head, eyes narrowing, amusement curling at the edge of your exhaustion. Slowly, deliberately, you raised your hands, fingers forming two sharp āLās in front of your face like a makeshift directorās frame. He blinked, puzzled, but didnāt move. Just stood there in his flour-dusted chef coat, letting you silently finish your odd little ritual. In the cooler light, his messy white hair almost shimmers, catching the moonlight like a soft halo. Those cyan eyesāno colored contacts could ever match their intensityāhold you with a magnetic calm. His features are sculptedāsharp jawline, high cheekbones, the clean lines of someone carved rather than bornābut softened around the edges by something subtler. A kind of gentleness. There's an almost feminine grace to him, and androgyny like that is rare in this line of work.
Not bad. Not bad at all. He's got leading man energy. Stupid nickname pending already.
āAlright, youāre hired,ā you say, lowering your hands with a satisfied smile, even snapping your fingers together. You reach into your pocket and fish out a slightly crumpled business card, the edges softened from wear. Holding it out with a slow, deliberate gesture, you meet his eyes, āCome to this location at 7:00 tomorrow morning. Do not be late.ā
The man takes the card between his fingers, pale light glinting off its glossy finish. He doesnāt even glance at it but nods once in acknowledgment. You catch the faintest flicker of curiosityāor maybe confusionācrossing his features. Fair enough. The last few minutes have been strange. Without another word, you pivot on your heel and vanish into the wet night. The neon sign above buzzes faintly, casting an uneven glow over the slick pavement. Rain continues to fall in a soft drizzle, its quiet patter blending with the distant hum of the city.
Phainon stands for a moment, eyes lingering on your retreating form. Then, he tucks the card into the pocket of his chefās coat and slips back through the swinging kitchen door. Inside, the kitchen bursts with lifeāthe clatter of pots and pans mingling with the hiss of steam and the sharp calls of the night crew. The air hangs heavy with the scent of garlic, hot oil, and sweat. Phainon weaves through the cramped space with practiced ease, sidestepping a precarious stack of dirty plates and a boiling pot. He spots Mydei leaning against the counter, arms crossed, eyebrows raised, furiously wiping down the stainless steel surface.
āMydei!ā Phainon calls out over the clatter, bursting through the swinging kitchen doors with the kind of urgency usually reserved for grease fires or health inspectors. His voice cracks slightlyāa blend of panic and poorly hidden excitement, āI need to use my vacation daysā¦ like, right now!ā
Mydei looks up from wiping the prep counter, rag frozen mid-swipe. He blinks slowly, a slight twitch in his eye, āā¦What? Why all of a sudden?ā
Phainon shifts his weight from one foot to the other, his shoes squeaking faintly on the slick tile. His hands hover in the air, fingers twitching as if trying to physically pluck an explanation out of thin air, āI got hired for a new job!ā
Thereās a beat of silence before Mydei sets the rag down with exaggerated care, eyes narrowing, āA newāwhat the fuck are you talking about, Phainon? What job?ā
āUhā¦ I donāt know yet?ā Phainon says, scratching the back of his neck, white hair mussing even more. His cheeks flush pink under the harsh fluorescent lights as he avoids Mydeiās gaze. Mydei stares at him. Then, with the dead-eyed precision of someone whoās endured Phainonās nonsense one too many times, he balls up the rag and chucks it at his face. It hits with a wet smack.
Phainon takes it in stride, sighing dramatically as the rag slides off his cheek and flops onto the floor. That one actually kind of hurt.
FADE OUT:
ACT I, SCENE I
CUT
---
ACT II, SCENE VII
FADE IN:
INT. OFFICE - MORNING
āPhainon,ā he says, āChef, part-time dishwasher. Full-timeā¦ problem-solver.ā
You didnāt like working with new talent. They were either too chatty, jabbering when silence was gold, or too violent, quick to throw fists instead of listening. Too flashy, desperate to be seen and heard, or too late, showing up after the damage was already done. Youād burned through three rookies this month alone. One choked on his own ambition, pushing too hard to prove he belonged. Another took a contract that nearly tore your lungs outāan amateur mistake you barely survived. The last one vanished without a traceāalong with your favorite coat, a souvenir from better days. But every now and then, you find a diamond in the rough. A raw edge of talent, hidden beneath the grime and mistakes, waiting for someone to buff, cut, and polish it until it catches the light just right. Itās a gamble, sure, but when it pays off? The spotlight shines brighter than any artificial light, and itās worth every scar.
This one was different. For starters, you were pretty sure his name was fakeābecause seriously, what kind of name is Phainon? Even a pen name wouldnāt be so pretentious as to literally mean ābrightā or āshining.ā It sounded less like a real name and more something a self-important poet might invent during a late-night epiphany.
And the second partā¦ well.
He was perfect. āPhainonā had no visible character flaws, on or off the set. On set, he delivered his lines flawlessly, every word crisp and natural, as if he were born to deliver. The perfect actor, as if the Grandfather of Cinema himself had accidentally dropped the wrong copy of the script straight from the heavens and placed Phainon in your lap. Youād heard of extreme method actors, but you werenāt sure youād ever seen anyone quite his caliber. Phainon carried that same cheery, placid smile everywhereānever cracking, never faltering. It was almost eerie, as though he was permanently stuck in character, perhaps a little too comfortable living in that perfection.
It began with a crew lightāan aging floodlight mounted too high, groaning under its own weightāteetering dangerously during the shoot. You caught the shift from the corner of your eye, but just a fraction too late. The metal rig wobbled precariously on its worn stand, bolts frayed and rusted from years of use. Its spotlight began a slow, deadly tilt. One more second and it wouldāve come crashing down onto you. Maybe on someone elseās head too. Definitely on your budget.
Then: Action.
A flicker of white darted past the edge of the frame. A hood caught in the breeze, revealing a sun tattoo peeking just above the hemāfaint, golden, a quiet hum of warmth on an otherwise cold, gray day. The hand that reached up moved with unhurried calm, catching the heavy light with ease and steadying it as if soothing a spooked animal. No grunt, no stumbleājust a solid arm. You didnāt even get the chance to ask if he was okay before Phainon turned his head slightly, voice low and soft enough for only you to hear.
āDonāt flinch. Youāll ruin the shot, Director.ā
There was a smile in his voiceāfaint, teasing, but never mocking. A soft flutter of wind caught at his coat as quiet footsteps faded away, carrying him back to his mark as if nothing had happened. You stood frozen for a moment, your throat tightening somewhere between a thank-you and a curse. Then your brain snapped back into motion.
āPlaces!ā you bark, louder than necessary. āEveryone, back to one. Reset the track. Lights, tighten your rigging!ā
The crew scrambles, rushing to their positions. The light is back where it belongs. The shot is saved. But your heart keeps hammering, a cold knot tightening in your chest. And Phainon? He never looks your way again.
It happened again on the third day of shooting, past golden hour and well into the frayed edge of everyoneās nerves. The air on set hung heavy with heat and halogen, buzzing lights above throwing sharp-edged shadows. A missed prop cue. A wardrobe malfunction. Too many takes are bleeding into each other. Tension layered thick as smoke.
Then the sponsor snapped.
āYou want to run this circus? Then maybe act like it!ā he barked, his voice cracking across the soundstage. You stood rigid in front of the monitor, clutching the camera like it might anchor you. Your teeth dug into the inside of your cheek. Around you, the crew shiftedāsome pretending not to notice, others casting you wary or sympathetic glances. No one said a word.
Your knuckles were bone-white.
Thenāquietly, steadilyāsomeone stepped up behind you. Not intruding. Justā¦ present.
āDon't be so wired,ā said a low voice near your ear. Smooth. Steady. Certain.
Phainon.
You felt him before you saw himāthe calm weight of his hand closing gently over yours, adjusting your grip on the camera. His fingers were cool, the pads calloused but exact, like a pianistāsāor someone used to handling delicate machinery. Probably a knife. You keep forgetting he used to be a chef. The tension in your shoulders began to unspool, though you didnāt loosen your hold just yet.
āThey can yell all they want,ā he said, his eyes on the chaos unfolding ahead like it was nothing more than set dressing, āBut youāre the one holding the lens.ā
You blinked.
The words landed somewhere beneath your ribs, quiet but steadyāreminding you what mattered. What was still yours to hold.
Still, you couldnāt help yourself.
āAre you saying I should throw it at them?ā you muttered, eyes forward.
A pause. Then the faint tug of a smirk at his lips.
āRespectfully,ā he said, releasing your hand with the same lightness heād arrived with, āI donāt think youāve got the arm strength for that.ā
A breath caught in your throatāthen slipped out as a crooked laugh. Small, but real.
Your shoulders eased. You raised the camera again, adjusted the lens with new focus, and called out to the crew, āReset. Weāre going again.ā
No one argued.
And when you looked back, Phainon was already across the setāsleeves rolled, calmly discussing lighting with a grip. Just another cog in the machine. Seamless. Unbothered. But you knew. Heād been thereāin a moment no one else had dared to step into. Quietly, without fanfare, heād drawn a line around you. Not loud. Not dramatic.
Just enough. Just present.
Another time, it was water.
The shoot had dragged into its twelfth hour. Your eyes were dry from staring at monitors too long, your neck stiff, brain fogged over. You hadnāt moved from your chair in what felt like days. Around you, the set buzzed with quiet urgencyāstagehands murmuring, the distant clatter of equipment, the steady hum of overhead lights. You didnāt notice the footsteps approaching. You barely noticed anything anymore. Then, as quietly as a breath, a bottle of water landed beside your elbow. Cool against the warm metal of the table. Condensation slid down its side, catching the light. The cap was already cracked open, like someone knew you wouldnāt have the energy.
āYou forgot to hydrate again, Director,ā Phainon saidāhis voice barely rising above the ambient buzz. Not a scold. Not exactly concern. Justā¦ not letting it slide. He didnāt wait for thanks, didnāt even look at you. Just placed the bottle there like it belonged, lingering a moment longer before turning away.
You blinked down at it, then up at himāalready halfway across the set, his white sleeves a blur in the chaos.
āThanksā¦ Phainon,ā you called after him, his name slipping out like an afterthought, a little awkward on your tongue. He didnāt stop walking, but the corner of his mouth tilted upward. And you swore, even without turning back, he looked pleased all the same.
And in the quiet, long after the shouting had died down, the lights had dimmed, and most of the crew had gone home, you sat alone, shoulders slumped, eyes fixed on the monitor. The same take played for the fifth time. Then the sixth. You werenāt even sure what you were looking for anymore. Every shot blurred into the next. Maybe it had never been good. Perhaps none of it was working. Your hands hovered near the controls but didnāt move. Self-doubt crept in like moldāslow, patient, and relentless. Then, a soft shuffle of footstepsāquiet, not meant to be noticed. But you noticed anyway. Phainon paused behind you. No grand entrance, no forced comfortājust the faint rustle of fabric as he leaned in slightly, arms crossed.
āItās starting to feel real, Director.ā
His voice was gentle, barely more than a breath against your shoulder. It cut through the fog in your mind sharper than any shout ever could. Never intrusive. Never loud. But always thereāflipping the switch, setting the shot, grounding the chaosāuntil, without meaning to, you realized: your story was unfolding.
āDonāt look away now.ā
It didnāt happen all at once. It never does. First, it was the way the sunrise hit the coffee steam just right during a late rewrite session. Then, how an offhand line an actor improvised during rehearsal rang louder than anything you wrote. A casting mishap landed you a last-minute extra whose faceāwrinkled, worn, honestābecame the heart of the scene. The rain started the second the camera rolled, unplanned but perfect. The crescent moon in the sky reflected in the growing puddles. A location scout tripped into a forgotten alley that looked exactly like the one from your dreams. A song on the radioāstatic-filled, half-familiarāstitched your ending together like thread through old film. And somehow, by the time the final cut played in front of a blinking crowd, you realized youād made something. Something real. Not just a movie. A moment. Yours.
Your short film, after more than a decade of nothing, was an instant success.
ACT III, SCENE X
FADE IN:
EXT. OAK FAMILY BUILDING BALCONY - NIGHT
āIsnāt this a non-smoking area?ā Phainon asked, his tone light as he watched the rumpled man in a too-tight dress shirt, a wine-red tie slung loosely over one shoulder, spark his lighter and take a long drag from a cigarette. A puff of smoke curled slowly into the air as the manāGallagher, if Phainon remembered correctlyāthrew him a sideways glance.
āYou gonna tattle on me, boy?ā The manās voice was raspy, but not as deep as Phainon had expected. He chuckled, shaking his head.
With Gallagher positioned right out in the openāperfectly visible from both the celebration hall and the balconyāPhainon figured the old manās employer, the grey-haired patriarch of the Oak family, had a clear view of him lighting up. Maybe that was the point. Maybe Gallagher wanted to get caught. The man took another drag, the cigarette burning low. Smoke curled around his fingers, lazily drifting upward like something alive and indifferent. His gaze flicked to Phainon againāsharper this timeānot just annoyed or amused, but knowing.
āYouāre a long way from your post, halo-boy,ā Gallagher mutters, exhaling a slow stream of smoke through his nose, āDaemons donāt usually hover around like lost puppies. Unless youāre planning to break the rules.ā
Phainon doesnāt answer at first. His hands slip into his coat pocketsāthose subtle pockets the waitstaff never quite notice. His stance is too casual for someone standing so openly exposed. But his eyes-those unnervingly still cyan eyesāremain fixed on the city beyond the balcony, as if heās watching the future unfold frame by frame.
āI didnāt break any rules,ā Phainon says softly, voice steady as ever, hands folded neatly behind his back, āNot yet.ā
The smoke curling from Gallagherās cigarette wavers. He lets out a low, wet chuckleāgravel and tar caught in his throat.
āYet,ā he repeats, amused. His sharp teeth flash beneath the cityās sodium haze, āSo itās true. Youāre attached to them. The āDirector.āā
He drags the title through the ash with mock reverence, āWhatās the game here? Some divine redemption arc? Guilt? Or just bored of the clouds and decided to babysit a trainwreck?ā
Phainon doesnāt flinch but he exhales slowly through his nose, thoughtful. The damp night wind tousles loose strands of his white hair. Thereās a flicker in his eyesānot irritation, not offenseābut something older. Resigned. He hums softly, tilting his head as if Gallagherās question were nothing more than a passing breeze instead of a loaded jab. His gaze drifts past the demon, toward the ballroom doors, where your silhouette slips out of sight, shoulders heavy but still moving forward.
āIs it so wrong...ā Phainon says at last, voice dipped in something quiet and certain, āto have a little hope?ā
For a beat, Gallagher goes still, the ember of his cigarette burning just a little too bright in the dark. He snorts, smoke curling from his nostrils, āDoesnāt sound like a good ending.ā
The wind tugs faintly at their coats. The city hums below the balconyādistant honks, the low thrum of a passing tram, neon reflected in puddles like half-forgotten memories. Phainon doesnāt answer at first, only glancing over with that strange, unreadable stillness about him. A ghost of a smile, barely there, plays on his lips. Not joy. Not mockery. Something in between.
āIt never is,ā he murmurs, his voice quieter now, as if the truth might shatter if spoken too loud.
Gallagherās jaw works. His fingers twitch, the cigarette burning dangerously close to the filter. He doesnāt look at Phainonājust stares out into the night, as if searching for answers buried in the rain-slick skyline. The weight of those words settles between them, heavier than the smog hanging in the air. A silence that doesnāt beg to be filled, only witnessed. Gallagher flicks the cigarette over the railing. Sparks trail behind like dying fireflies.
āHope your miracleās worth it,ā he says, quieter now. Not a sneer. Almostā¦ reverent.
Phainon doesnāt respond.
His eyes are already elsewhere, drawn past the smoke, the streetlamps, and the flickering signs, back to the celebration hall doors. The faintest hint of movement. A silhouette. You. His charge. His burden. His reason.
And he watches, as if youāre the only real thing in this world of false lights.
Mydei
Warning: It's quite brief, but just in case: Guns, death, fighting, mission gone wrong, PTSD, panic attacks, and blood.
Apotheosis ( į¼ĻĪæĪøĪĻĻĪ¹Ļ ) ā The process by which a mortal is elevated to divine status, becoming a god or a divine being. This transformation often occurs after death or as a reward for extraordinary deeds, heroism, or favor from the gods.
The sterile white walls closed in around youāa cold, suffocating cage. Your ribs throbbed painfully with every shallow breath, each inhale sharp enough to steal the air from your lungs. A persistent beep echoed steadily from the heart monitorāan unrelenting reminder that you were alive, but barely. You sure didnāt feel like it. Your fingers twitched restlessly beneath the thin hospital blanket, the fabric rough against your skin. Your mind churned with memories you dared not speak aloud.
The door opened abruptly with a sharp knock. For a moment, you were terrified it was Jing Yuanābut a stranger stepped inside, eyes sharp and unwavering. His uniform was crisp, his presence commanding, as if the weight of the entire military bore down on his broad shoulders. A few other men flanked him quietly, their hands folded behind their backs.
āWhat happened out there?ā he demanded, his voice cold and unyielding. Youād never seen this man before, but just from his tone alone, you knew he held a higher rankāprobably a corporal. Your throat tightened painfully. The truth felt like a heavy stone lodged in your chest: Mydei falling, the battlefield descending into chaos, and something impossible stirring beneath it all. Swallowing past the lump, you forced your voice into a steady calm. You were secretly relieved it wasnāt Jing Yuanāhe would have known you were lying just from your breathing.
āIt was bad. Worse than anything Iāve been through. We were pinned down, outnumbered,ā You paused, biting back the urge to spill everything, licking your dry lips, āBut Myd- Lieutenant Mydeimos- heā¦ he took care of it. Made sure I got outā¦ He saved my life, sir.ā
The corporalās eyes narrowed, sharp and piercing, as if trying to slice through the walls youād built, āYour mission was intel-gathering on the Titans. Our transcriptions show there was a deliberate shutdown of your recording equipment for 33 minutes and 46 seconds, right when the fire team went dark. Care to explain that?ā
You clenched your jaw, mind racing as you scrambled for the right answerāthe truth carefully hidden beneath layers of omission.
āNo excuse, sir. Weād been compromised, and in my panic, my hand caught the wireā¦ā You trailed off, unsure what more to say. Lowering your head, you let the silence fill the room. The corporalās gaze lingered, suspicion flickering beneath his disciplined exterior. Yet he said nothing further. The faint scribble of his pen on paper marked every word youād spoken. Finally, he let out a long sigh.
āWeāll verify your story. Any inconsistencies wonāt be tolerated. Rest easy.ā.
The door clicked shut behind him, leaving you swallowed by silence. You let out a shaky breath, the weight of your secret crushing your chest like a vice.
No one could know what youād truly witnessed.
You closed your eyes and saw it again ā the battlefield torn apart, the eerie stillness that had swallowed Mydeiās form, the unnatural twitch that defied every law youād ever known.
Your fingers curled tightly, knuckles white against the sheet.
It wasnāt supposed to be like this.
The silence of the hospital room pulsed like a second heartbeat. You blinked slowly, still seeing the afterimages ā his silhouette against firelight, still standing after everything.
He shouldāve stayed dead.
///// 03 JUNE 2X21 /////
Youād only been in the military for three months. Fresh out of basic training. Your boots still looked too clean. Your shoulders ached under the weight of gear that didnāt quite feel like yours yet. Your weapon was standard issue, gripped tightly in nervous hands, and your stomach knotted with the thrill of deployment and the terror of screwing up. You were running drills in a scorched training field, smoke and noise everywhere. A hail of bullets cracked through the air, and your fingers moved on instinct ā pull, reset, pullā
Click.
A high, empty click.
No bang. Dead air. Just silence.
Thenā
Metal screamed. Something jammed. Heat surged. Your hand jolted backā
Too late.
The gun backfired. A strong hand on the back of your collar, before you felt weightless. Another hand, ripping the gun from yours.
A sudden boom. A fire of bullets rained down on the sand all at once.
Someoneās shouting. Someone thinks you fired intentionally. You didnāt. But in the silence that follows, no one cares what you meant to do. You hit the dirt with a solid, ungraceful thudāears full of static, smoke curling off your gloves. The scent of gun oil and burnt polymer flooded your nose.
Your weapon skittered across the ground, like it wanted to run away from you.
Then: boots. Heavy. Sure. Grounded like bedrock. A shadow loomed over youāmassive, broad-shoulderedāhis voice cutting through the ringing in your ears like gravel under steel.
āYou alive, rookie?ā
You blinked through smoke and pain, heart hammering against your ribs. You looked upāand that was the first time you saw Mydei. Everything about him seemed larger than life. Broad chestplate scratched from years of fieldwork. His face is somehow still youthful yet serious, and his pupils almost look like cats. You scrambled to sit up, humiliated, your fingers shaking as you reached for your weapon.
āIāmy gunāI'm sorryāsirāā you choked out. He crouched beside you, fingers already moving with expert precision. In less than a second, he popped the jammed receiver and tilted it toward you.
āDouble-feed. Barrel overpressured. Couldāve taken your head clean off,ā he said evenly.
You couldnāt breathe. You almost died. His voice was calm, almost bored, but the words dropped like lead in your stomach. You glanced down at your rifleāthe twisted mess of jammed brass, the blackened edge of the barrel still warm from near-disaster. You hadnāt even realized your hands were still clenched until they started to shake.
You swallowed hard.
Ah, crap. This was it.
You were done.
Theyād kick you for this. Discharged. Maybe even court-martialed. That kind of mistakeāyouād be lucky if they didnāt strip your rank before lunch. Your throat burned. You thought about your fatherās voice when you told him youād enlisted. You thought about all the instructors who said youād never hack it. You thought about how your superior was staring down at you like he was already writing the report in his head.
But he didnāt move to confiscate your weapon. Didnāt call for an officer. Insteadā
āBut thatās not your fault,ā he continued, āFactory flaw. The 8T series has a bad batch.ā
You blinked. āā¦Sir?ā
āIāve seen two of these explode this month,ā he said, standing. His armor creaked as he straightenedāa towering presence, expression unreadable under the shadow of his helmet, āNot a rookie error. Just a damn bad roll of the dice.ā
He held out his hand. Gloved. Firm. Steady. Not a hint of judgment in it.
āWell, Cadet Trigger,ā he added with a faint smirk, āyouāve got a guardian angel somewhere. Or maybe just dumb luck.ā
āā¦Trigger?āYou stared up at him, still frozen on the floor. Your ears were still ringing from the close call. Sweat clung to your back, but the tension began to loosenājust a littleāas your fingers curled around his and he pulled you to your feet.
He gave you a once-over. Not suspicious. Not cold. Justā¦ amused.
āGuns donāt just go off like that,ā he said, walking past, āUnless the triggerās cursed.ā
A pause. A glance over his shoulder, āOr the triggerās you.ā
The other cadets were still staring. Some muttering. Some snickering. But he walked away without another word, and suddenly, you didnāt care about your brush with death.
That nickname stuck.
And so did he.
---
Two days later, you were still tasting gunpowder. Your arm was in a sling, fingers scratched and stiff. The medics had said you were luckyānothing broken, no burns deep enough to scar. āClose call,ā they said, like it wasnāt already replaying in your skull on a loop. But your rifle was toast, and so was your confidence. Jeez, you wanted to put your head in your hands and scream like a little girl. Luckily, they let you sit out the next field rotation, but you werenāt allowed to sit still. You cleaned. You logged ammo. You memorized spec manuals until the text started swimming. Anything to stop thinking about the moment that weapon nearly took your life.
That, and the man whoād stopped the storm like it was nothing.
Mydei.
You hadnāt seen him since. Just the image in your headāboots in the dirt, that low voice like gravel and thunder. You thought maybe you'd hallucinated it. Maybe your brain had dreamed up a perfect soldier to soften the fact that you'd almost eaten your own gun. But, because the Aeons were cruel, suddenly it was as if that was all you could hear.
āHey, Trig.ā
The voice came from two bunks overācasual, half-muttered around a protein bar and a yawn. It was that lean guy with the buzzcut, Marcus or Malin or something? Maybe Marcus was correctāalways half out of uniform, always in everyone elseās business. You looked up from your cot, still rubbing the dull ringing out of your ears. Your hands itchedāghost memory of the rifleās weight, the near-silent click before chaos. Your pack sat half-unzipped at your feet. The gun was long gone to diagnostics, but your heart hadnāt stopped racing since they pried it from your hands.
Marcus tilted his head, that loose, crooked grin plastered on his face.
āThat was some shit, huh?ā he said, nodding toward you like youād just won a bar figh, āTheyāre saying the Lionheart pulled your ass out?ā
You hesitated.
The cot creaked beneath you as you sat up straighter, biting back the lump of uncertainty in your throat. The nameāMydeiāstill echoed in your head. You could see him, glove extended, voice calm, while you drowned in embarrassment and adrenaline.
āā¦I guess,ā you said finally.
Marcus let out a low whistle and slapped his thigh.
āYou donāt even know, man,ā He leaned in, like he was telling you a secret not meant for green ears, āThat guyāheās like a fucking cryptid. Youāve heard the stories, right?ā
You blinked.
You hadnāt. Not really.
Youād heard instructors mention him with that weird mix of respect and wariness. Some called him a relic. Others said heād been transferred so many times that no one knew where heād actually started. You remembered someone once joking that Mydei didnāt even have a last nameājust the call sign and a body count. You thought it was just mess hall gossip.
Now he had a face. A voice. A hand that had pulled you off the floor.
Another voice chimed ināolder, gruffer, āHeard Lionheart once got shot in the neck and still held his breath long enough to drag a pilot out of a downed jet.ā
āB.S.,ā someone muttered. āI heard he went MIA for five days and showed up with five enemy tags and no backup.ā
āFive? I heard it was eight.ā
āYouāre all wrong,ā said the lean guy again, eyes gleaming. āHeās not even supposed to be alive. They say he died once. Heart stoppedāflatlined in the middle of a rescue op. The whole unit saw it. Thenābam. Woke up. Stood up. Finished the mission like nothing happened.ā
You stayed silent.
That last story always stuck to your ribs.
Dead. Then not. Woke up.
You shook it off.
What mattered was the memory: his hand pulling you up. His voice not blaming you. The fact that he noticed the malfunction before anyone else didāand comforted you when he had no reason to.
Whatever else he wasāghost, monster, soldierāHe was kind.
āYou alive, rookie?ā
Yeah. You were. Because of him.
///// 17 MAY 2X23 /////
Your transfer papers came through. You stared at the orders like they might vanish if you blinked too fast.
āEffective immediately, reassigned to Special Task Unit 0-9. Handler: Mydeimos "Lionheart".ā
The room spun for a second. Or maybe that was just the five hours of sleep you hadnāt gotten. Special Task Unit 0-9 was a name whispered between barracks with reverence and disbelief. The kind of team they pulled together for missions that never made it to public reports. You werenāt even sure it existed until now. Your palms went slick as you tucked the papers under your arm and headed toward Deployment Hangar Cāthe one with reinforced walls, heavier security, and the unmarked transport ships that came and went without manifest.
You didnāt feel ready. But you werenāt about to turn it down.
The elevator groaned as it descended into the lower decks. Your reflection in the chrome panel was pale, jaw tight. You adjusted your uniform for the third time before the doors hissed open. The task forceās prep bay was silent. No shouting. No clatter. No wasted movement. Just a group of soldiers in matte black gear, moving like a well-oiled machine. And at the centerā
There he was.
Mydei.
He hadnāt changed. Broad shoulders framed by heavier-grade armor. Helmet clipped to his side. Same calm presenceālike standing near a thunderstorm that hadnāt decided whether to break yet. He looked over when you stepped in, and your chest locked up. Was he going to remember you? That moment when you were just another green recruit with a broken rifle?
He stared for a moment. Then gave a nodāa small, sharp one.
āTrigger.ā
That single word landed like a stamp on your bones.
You straightened. āSir.ā
He handed you a tablet, āLoadout briefingās inside. Mission clock starts at 0700. Get acquainted with the others.ā
And just like that, you were in. No ceremony. No welcome speech. Just his quiet voice, the smell of oil and metal, and the heat of pressure beneath your skin. But even that was more than enough. You followed the others through orientation drills. They were tighter than any squad youād worked with. Efficient. Sharp. Not a lot of talking. Not a lot of room for mistakes. But nobody doubted Mydeiās commands when they came. Nobody hesitated. And slowly, you found your rhythm.
The first op went smooth. The second, less soāa recovery run that turned into an ambush. You got clipped. Not bad, but enough to knock you off your feet. Mydei was the one who dragged you to cover, kept pressure on the wound while giving orders to the others.
āYou alright, Trigger?ā he asked, voice low but steady. You nodded, even though your ribs screamed.
āGood,ā he said. āNext time, donāt let āem flank you. Youāre sharper than that.ā
He didnāt say it with anger. Just certainty. Like he knew you could do better. Like he expected you to. And maybe for the first time, you believed it too.
///// 23 JULY 2X23 /////
That night, you caught him in the makeshift kitchen at the back of the mobile command unit. He was baking. Baking. A giant, undying soldier with hands like thunderāgently stirring batter in a cracked metal bowl. The whole room smelled like cinnamon and almonds.
You blinked, ā...Sir?ā
āYou like cookies?ā he asked. He didn't even look up.
āUh. Yes? I meanāyes, sir.ā
He tossed you one without looking. Perfect arc, landed in your palm like heād done it a thousand times.
āI always bake after missions,ā he said. āKeeps the team human.ā
Not sure what else to do than stare like a creep, you bit into it and nearly melted on the spot. It was warm. Sweet. A little chewy around the edges. Comforting in a way that hit harder than it should have. You could see why the team loved him. He didnāt keep the people he trusted at armās length. Not like some legends did.
There was that time he asked how your side was healing after that shrapnel hit. Offered you water after long marches. Taught you how to disassemble your rifle faster when no one else was watching. Always subtle. Always patient. He showed you how to tell weather shifts by the weight of the clouds. Let you taste his drink choices, pomegranate juice with a splash of milk, because Mydei loved the colour pink. Once, you helped him prep a care package for an orphanage his squad had supported during deployment cyclesābaked goods, canned supplies, a letter written in his clean, precise hand.
āYou always send them stuff?ā you asked, folding socks for the bundle.
āEvery quarter,ā he said. āAnd every time I survive something I shouldnāt.ā
āWhy them?ā
Mydei paused.
āBecause theyāre small. And soft. And the world forgets soft things exist unless someone reminds it.ā
You didnāt know what to say to that.
So, you just nodded and helped pack.
You started watching him more closely.
How his movements were deliberateāalways precise, as if every motion had been calculated a thousand times before. How he always stood with his back to the wall, eyes scanning, never fully relaxed, as though the world outside his reach might turn on him at any second. How his jaw tightened when loud noisesāespecially the sound of distant gunfire or the crack of a falling objectācut through the air. It was a small thing, a barely perceptible flinch, but you caught it every time. He cleaned his gear longer than anyone else, sometimes hours after the others had turned in for the night. The clink of metal tools against steel echoed in the quiet. His hands moved methodically over the rifle, adjusting, re-checking, always making sure it was pristine, even if there was no immediate need. You wondered if he did it to fill the silenceāor if, somehow, the repetitive action grounded him, kept him anchored. Sometimes, when he thought no one was watching, you caught him staring out into the distance, eyes far away, lost in some thought or memory you couldnāt reach. The edges of his expression softened, and for a second, he didnāt look like the myth they spoke of. He looked human. Broken. You werenāt sure when it became a habitāthis need to understand him. The way you found yourself tracking his movements in the corner of your eye, trying to piece together the cracks in his armor, wondering what made him tick. Maybe it was the quiet, patient way he ledāalways watching, always observing, as if waiting for you to figure it out for yourself. But it was more than that. It was a quiet curiosity, a pull in your chest that you couldnāt ignore.
But it did.
And it stuck.
///// 25 MARCH 2X25 /////
It was supposed to be clean.
Extraction. Quick in-and-out. A scattered outpost hidden in a valley of fog and wire, half-swallowed by terrain and time. Intel said there were no active combatantsājust recovery, debrief, then wheels up.
They were wrong.
Your boots sank into the mud just as the first scream ripped through the comms.
Then, the line went dead.
āGuards up. Full spread,ā Mydei ordered, voice sharp as always, already moving with purpose, āTrig, with me.ā
The outpost was gutted, a carcass left to rot under the weight of time. No roof. No walls. Just broken floors sagging under forgotten weight, rusted tech littered in disarray, wires hanging from the rafters like old veins. Vines curled around shattered terminals, their damp leaves clinging to the remnants of a world long abandoned. In the periphery of your vision, something wet dragged across the floorāslow, deliberate, leaving streaks of dark against the gray concrete. The air was thick, heavy with mildew and rot. The hum of static from broken electronics buzzed faintly in the background, the only sound cutting through the oppressive silenceāuntil the second scream cut through the comms, slicing through the air like a knife. Shadows pooled in the corners, lingering, moving in ways that didnāt make sense. There was no sun here, only the sickly glow from the dying lights above.
It didnāt feel like a mission. It felt like a trap.
One second, the squad moved forward in tight formation, boots silent on the cracked floor. Eyes darted, weapons held at the ready, and every footfall was calculated, precise. The nextāan explosion erupted from beneath the ground with a violent, earth-shattering force. The world detonated around you. The floor buckled, throwing you off balance. The air was filled with dust and fire. You fired. So did everyone else. Rounds tore through flesh, the staccato rhythm of gunfire mingling with screams. Bodies fell, some in slow motion, some collapsing all at once. Panic began to creep in from the edges of your vision, as if the world was pulling away, stretching out of focus. But through the chaos, Mydei was at the front, as alwaysāunshakable, unyielding. Weapon roaring, hands steady, posture wide and rooted, as if the storm of fire and death couldnāt touch him. You stayed behind him, as you always didāsilent, watching, waiting for the next order.
Then it happened. A single bullet pierced the air, followed by another six, each one cracking the stillness with brutal precision.
āMydeiā!ā you shouted, panic rising in your throat as you tore through the chaos, your boots pounding against the blood-soaked floor. You shoved bodies aside, desperate to reach him, to see him move, to know he was stillā
āhe stopped moving. Not like a man ducking for cover. Not even like a soldier bracing for the next round. He went still. Too still. A sickening silence fell over the battlefield, sharp enough to cut through the ringing in your ears. Your breath caught, lungs frozen with disbelief. Something thudded deep in your chest. It wasnāt the pounding of your heartāit was something worse. Something cracking. Something breaking.
āTRIGGERāGET BACKāā someone shouted over the comms, the panic in their voice barely breaking through the fog of your own fear. But you didnāt hear them. You screamed his name again, the sound tearing at your throat, but it didnāt matter.
Mydei didnāt move.
And thenā
He did.
Mydei stood.
But it wasnāt like before.
It was as if his body had forgotten how to move with purpose, how to follow the instincts that had always been so sure. His legs locked, muscles stiff, dragging him upright with a slow, unnatural jerk. The space between his movements seemed to stretch, as if time was slipping through the cracks of his body, leaving behind a brittle shell. Blood soaked his side, dark and pulsing through the torn armor, but he didnāt flinch. Didnāt even touch the wound.
His eyesā
They didnāt blink.
The way he staredāhollow, unseeingāmade your stomach twist. Something was gone, something you couldnāt put your finger on. He was there, but he wasnāt. A presence that shouldāve been solid, comforting, was now a gaping absence, standing in front of you like a phantom. You could barely breathe. The air was thick, heavy, pressing against your chest as if the very atmosphere around you had solidified. Mydeiās gaze shifted toward you, slow and deliberate. For a moment, the world seemed to stop.
His eyes met yours.
Just for a second, but it felt like an eternity. There was nothing in them. No spark. No recognition. Just an endless, blank void that swallowed every shred of comfort youād ever found in those eyes. Mydei had always been a rockāsteadfast, unwavering, a man you could trust without question. But now? The eyes staring back at you werenāt the same. They were distant, vacant. A shiver crept down your spine as the seconds stretched out between you. You felt it in the pit of your stomachāa weight, heavy and cold, pressing against your ribs, making it harder to breathe. His movements were too mechanical, too deliberate, his features frozen in a way that made your skin crawl.
And then, as though he was snapping back into place, he spoke. The words were cold, flat, devoid of the usual authority youād come to rely on. They hung in the air, hollow and strange, as if theyād been ripped from his mouth rather than formed with intent.
āLeave. Now.ā
The command was clear. It should have been enough. You should have been fine. But the voiceāit didnāt feel right. It didnāt carry that familiar weight, that subtle but undeniable presence that had always kept you steady in the most chaotic of moments. This was something else. Something distant. Mechanical. You nodded, the motion automatic, a reflex born of years of training. And you moved. You obeyed. Of course you did.
---
There was no squad to regroup with. It felt more like a funeral procession than a recovery mission. You limped your way through the remnants of the outpost, the echoes of gunfire still faintly lingering in the back of your mind. Every step was a reminder of the brutality of what had just happened, but somehow, nothing felt real. The stench of smoke and blood hung thick in the air, but there was an odd emptiness, too, as if the space itself had been hollowed out.
Radioing for evac, you could hear the static crackle, the distant hum of machinery trying to piece together the reality of what was unfolding. Silence slowly closed around the outpost againāan unnatural stillness that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Every corner seemed to hide something else. You couldn't shake the feeling that the land itself was holding its breath, waiting for something else to happen.
You reached the evac ship. They pulled you aboard, your body barely holding together, every muscle screaming as they wrapped your arm and pushed adrenaline through your veins. The world became a blur of flashing lights and the steady pulse of heartbeats, both yours and theirs, too loud in the confined space. The scent of antiseptic cut through the stale air, sharp and foreign. And when they asked you what happened, all the words in your throat turned to stone. Your mind scrambled, trying to make sense of what had just occurred, but the truthāthe truthāwas too twisted to spit out. How could you explain it? How could you tell them that Mydei had been broken and whole, shattered and moving, all at once?
So you lied.
///// 10 APR 2X25 /////
āYouāre saying the enemy forces ambushed your unit mid-recon?" Jing Yuan's voice was cool, methodical, and for the first time, his face was serious, sharpened, and guarded, "And you're saying only you and Lieutenant Mydei made it out?"
You gave a single, sharp nod. It wasnāt a full motion; more like a reflex. A response youād practicedātaught yourselfāto give when it was time to speak. The edge of your jaw ached as you clamped your mouth tight, resisting the urge to chew the words over. You didnāt let yourself breathe too deeply, didn't let your chest rise too much.
āYes, sir," you said, the words leaving your throat faster than you could stop them. "He didnāt go down.ā The lie felt heavier than it should, but you kept going. āMydei pushed through. Got me out. Thatās why Iām sitting here.ā
The room felt smaller now, the air thicker. You couldnāt see the sterile walls, the machines blinking faintly, or the dim blue glow of the overhead light without feeling a sense of suffocation. The medical bayās antiseptic smell of bleach and plastic seemed to crowd in around you, pressing on your temples, suffocating your thoughts. You tried to focus on the General's face, but all you saw were those memoriesāthe twisted image of Mydei standing, bleeding, unblinkingāand the words caught in your throat, threatening to spill out, to unravel everything.
Jing Yuanās gaze didnāt soften. If anything, it sharpened. The way his eyes lingered on you made your skin crawl, though you kept your posture straight. The silence stretched for a few seconds too long, but he didnāt break eye contact. Instead, he scribbled something down on his clipboard, the sharp sound of the pen against the paper like a gunshot in the stillness. The small movement seemed to draw his focus back to you, the weight of his stare pressing down harder than before.
āYouāre certain?ā His voice was just as calm, though now you could hear the subtle edge of doubt seeping through. He wasnāt asking because he thought you were lying. He was asking because he needed you to say it again. To make sure you were as certain as you claimed.
The temperature in the room seemed to dip lower. Your throat tightened, the heat of your earlier lie still clinging to your words. You swallowed, a dry, painful motion, "Yes, sir. Iām certain."
But the words felt hollow.
Jing Yuan didnāt respond right away. Instead, he leaned back in his chair, his expression unreadable. The dull hum of the lights, the beeping of machines, the faint shuffling of the medics behind youāit all seemed to fade into the background, as if this moment, this question, was the only thing left in the universe. He watched you too long after that. Pen tapping against the corner of the datasheet like he wanted the sound to dig into your skull.
"Are you sure there's something you don't want to tell me?" Jing Yuanās voice cuts through the silence once more. Heās set his pen down, fingers now laced together in a slow, deliberate motion. His chin rests on top of his hands, and his eyesāsharp, analyticalānever leave you. It's not just a question anymore. It's a statement, a challenge, an unspoken demand for truth.
In that moment, you feel it.
Something clicks into place inside you. Not loud. Not dramatic. But there, all the same. A shift. A decision. Solid. Unyielding. You swallow against the knot in your throat, the taste of steel creeping up again. Your pulse quickens, but you hold firm, your gaze steady despite the chaos still swirling in your chest.
Youāre not going to tell him. Not about what happened, not about the things youāve seen, not about Mydeiāabout what he had been, what he still was, even if no one else could understand it. You canāt. You won't. Because whatever Mydei was nowā¦ whatever the truth really was, in that moment, when the blood was thick in the air and the odds seemed impossible, heād still looked at you the same. Like a man who trusted you.
Still pulled you to your feet. Still saved your life.
If command ever found out ā if they started probing, picking apart every detail, treating Mydei like some kind of asset to be dissected and analyzed ā you didnāt know what would happen. And honestly, you didnāt want to know. The thought of them poking and prodding at something that, in your mind, still felt like your responsibility.
āā¦He saved me,ā you said, the words slipping out with a finality you hadn't expected, "Thatās all that matters."
Jing Yuan didnāt flinch. Didnāt look away. He studied your face, and his eyes narrowed just enough to make you feel like he was weighing the truth in you ā maybe seeing something you werenāt saying, some subtle shift behind your words. He didnāt press, though. Not this time. He didnāt call your bluff, even though the tension between you seemed to thicken. Maybe it was the paperwork he was avoiding, or maybe there was something else in the way he was reading you.
Maybe ā deep down ā he already knew what you were protecting.
The click of his pen as it snapped shut felt like a verdict, sealing this moment, the weight of unspoken words between you both.
āDismissed.ā
Anaxa
Alogon (į¼Ī»ĪæĪ³ĪæĪ½ / A-logos) ā A concept meaning āwithout reasonā or āirrational.ā.
[ "The performance of life, too, must eventually reach the curtain call." ]
āThe students this year are all cotton-brained and leaking spinal fluid from their ears.ā
āGood morning to you too, Doctor.ā
Veritasābetter known as Dr. Ratioābarely glances up at your snarky quip, probably because he gets more than enough sass from a certain blond-haired man who lives to test his patience. He pulls the staff chair across from you and takes a seat, already holding a stack of papers dripping with red ink.
Ouch. Those poor students. It must be their first classāthereās a whole checklist of requirements just to qualify for Ratioās lectures, and even then, half of them probably walked in thinking they were smarter than they are. You recognize the pattern: wide eyes, overconfidence, and the slow withering of hope by the second week.
āItās the first week. I think itās fair to give everyone at least one morning of rest before they hit the ground running,ā you hum, poking at your lunch. The colder mornings have been killing your appetite latelyāeverything tastes like cardboard and regretābut with Veritas parked across from you, you doubt youāll get the chance to sneak off to the coffee machine without earning one of his patented glances. Not all of us are built like a brick house, Doctor. Seriously, what does he even need all those muscles for? Shoving copy machines? Launching chalk at students like bullets?
āIf youāre that lax with students on the first day, theyāll take it as the standard and stay complacent forever,ā Veritas says, crossing his arms in that dramatic, exasperated way of his. You can practically hear the quotation marks around the philosophical nonsense he just dropped. Then he levels you with a stare, āDo you even have your syllabus completed?ā
Ahācaught. Better to look the other way; it makes that infamous glare feel a little less like walking barefoot over spikes and thorns.
āYou always did leave things for the last minute.ā
Veritasās gaze shifts past your shoulder just as the sharp, deliberate click of heeled boots echoes across the staff room floor.
āAnaxagoras,ā Veritas greets, tone flat but unmistakably acknowledging.
āVeritas,ā Anaxa replies just as evenly, as if theyāre exchanging chess moves instead of pleasantries.
The staff room hums with quiet tension, the only sound the faint, rhythmic scratching of Veritasās pen carving through a stack of papers. His eyes flick up, catching you in a glance before passing over, āStill treating clocks like polite suggestions instead of hard rules.ā
Anaxa responded with a casual shrug, slow and unconcerned, as if the concept of time were an amusing joke meant for someone else. A faint flicker of amusement played at the corner of his eyes when they met Veritasāsāa subtle challenge cloaked in indifference, āDidnāt realize I was missed.ā
āYou werenāt. But your absence was certainly quieter,ā Veritas didnāt look away this time. He flipped a page with a crisp snap that punctuated the silence, the red ink staining the margins like fresh woundsāharsh and unforgiving. You couldnāt help but think the only reason these two tolerated each other was because Veritas was one of the few who actually used his full name.
"Alright, ladies, you're both beautiful. How about we settle down now?" you laugh easily, getting matching frowns from the two men.
Itās a nice morning, and the first day of classes unfolds in its usual slow, methodical rhythm. The staff room isnāt crowdedāno one scrambling over the microwave, no complaints about the eternally broken coffee machine thatās been out of order as long as youāve worked at Paperfold University. The hum of distant footsteps and low murmurs barely fill the space. Nearby, your closest work colleague and Anaxa exchange words under the thinnest, debatably professional pretensesāhalf casual banter, half veiled challenge. Their voices are low, as if the room itself is holding its breath.
Yes, everything feels normal. As it should. Right down to the man you mourned all summer, sitting across from you like he never leftālike the months since his death never happened, and nothing has changed.
[ I gained inspiration from death, and should repay as such. ]
Grief is sticky, like humidity.
You stand at the podium, gripping your notecards upside down, your fingers trembling just slightly. Youāre wearing black this morning. Sunlight filters through the stained-glass windows, splashing shards of color across the roomābut stabbing your eyes with its brightness. Everything feels soft and warm. Outside, summer rages onāthe kind of summer Anaxa hated: sweltering, sticky, and alive with the relentless chorus of cars honking, buzzing in the heat.
āAnaxagoras was my best friend,ā you begin, your voice barely more than a whisper.
That part is true. You were four when you picked up a smooth stone and threw it at the bully who called a boy a ānerdā for asking why lizards couldnāt fly. The question had seemed strange then, but you didnāt careābecause even at that age, you knew some things deserved defending.
You were twelve when you watched from the back of the classroom as that same boy got kicked out for questioning a classmateās religious beliefs. Youād snickered with the others, trying to be liked and avoid being ostracized, hiding the sting in your chest behind a half-smile.
At sixteen, you found yourself scribbling his name in the margins of your notebooksāsmall marks of presence, of connection, when words felt too fragile.
At twenty-one, it hit you with the sharp clarity of a late winter morning: the shape of your misery perfectly mirrored the shape of your love, and if he ever left, both would hollow out the same space inside you.
You are thirty-one now.
Anaxa lies in a coffin.
Around him, asphodels and myrtles are arranged with quiet care. The white flowers lend an impossible purity to the man who was anything but pure.
The single red pomegranate flower clutched in his hands only makes the stillness feel lonelier.
You donāt remember the rest of the speech. The words blur and fade into a dull hum beneath polite clapping. Aglaea squeezes your hand gently in the aisleāsteady, grounding. The coffin lowers slowly, like a magic trick in reverse: now you see him, now you donāt. Faces around you crumble into tears, but you sit still, the weight of everyone elseās grief pressing down. Not that you donāt feel itāyou do. You just donāt cry. Not yet. Instead, your fingers crush the cold metal of the ring he slipped onto your fingerāthe only thing keeping you afloat. Because if you let go, you know the scream trapped inside you would tear everything apart.
You donāt cry until three days later.
Youāre curled up on the cold bathroom floor, wrapped in Anaxaās ridiculous lizard onesieāthe one he never wanted to admit he liked the most. His room has become a museum of ghostsānot the kind that haunt, but the kind that linger in memories. Chipped coffee mugs left half-full. An unfinished book on Yaldabaoth, the bookmark still folded into its pages. A burnt-out candle, faintly scented with juniper and smoke. The old flip phone, blinking with an unread message from you, frozen in time, waiting for a reply that will never come.
And then heās standing there in your hallway. Paler than you rememberāalmost translucentāhis skin stretched tight over sharp cheekbones. Skinnier, as if life itself has been siphoned from him. One eye hidden behind a patch, the other sharp and watchful. Still taller than you, looming despite his fragility. And that smileāwide, too wide; full of teeth. But itās not the smile you once knew. It doesnāt reach his one remaining eye, which flickers with something unreadable.
You donāt scream. You donāt even flinch. Your breath catches, and your eyes blink slowly, disbelieving.
āAnaxagoras?ā
āIn the flesh,ā he says, his voice low but familiar, almost teasing. He steps forward with unsettling calm.
You want to shout at him: Youāre dead. I watched them lower your body into the dirt. I still have that gaudy black-and-white capelet that I hated so much. I wear it when Iām alone, like a fragile shieldālike some broken, abandoned thing.
Instead, you say:
[ I am incredibly happy now. ]
Veritas was right. The students this year are performing far below average. Youāre not sure how half of them even managed to submit their applications, let alone meet the qualifications. During one lecture, you thought you overheard a girl whispering to her seatmate, nervously asking for advice on how to take proper notes, as if that were some foreign concept. Itās reached the point where you find yourself bending the usual boundaries between professor and student, nudging and prodding more than you probably should, because youāre genuinely worried some of them might just roll over and pass out under the pressure. Your lectures and labs are mostly in the mornings, and while at least one student usually answers back to your cheerful āGood morning!ā, the majority shuffle in like half-brained zombies. Their glazed eyes stare blankly ahead, as if their spines were leaking fluid that numbs their senses, and they meander toward the nearest seat with all the energy of a fading candle. You suppress a sigh. This wonāt flyāthereās a teacher conference next week, and youāre already drafting your points in your head.
āYou think loudly.ā
You blink, shaken out of your spiral, and glance to the side. Thereās Anaxaāyour dead husband, a truth you have to repeat to yourself over and overāsitting there, relaxed and almost casual, behind the wheel as snowflakes drift lazily past the window. In the overexposed gray light filtering through the windshield, his skin looks even paler and malnourished: the kind of white you see before blindness, the light inside a star just before it collapses.
āJust thinking about what Veritas said is allā¦ā Your voice trails off as your thoughts drift away again. Your mind screams at you to be afraid. To recoil. To run. Because what youāre seeing defies everything you know about life and death. A corpseāyour husbandās corpseāis supposed to lie six feet underground, wrapped in linen and wood, cold and silent. But here he is instead, breathing, blinking, alive, driving you both home through the thickening snow.
āVeritas always has a way of making things sound more incontestable than they are,ā Anaxaās eyes flicker toward you from the driverās seat, calm and unreadable behind his half-lidded gaze. You grip the edge of the seat, willing yourself to stay grounded. You are not hallucinating. You are not dreaming. You are not losing your mind. You believe in the science of dreams, in the logic of REM sleep cyclesābut this feels like neither.
You glance at him, the weight of your thoughts pressing down, āItās not incontestable. Youāve seen the students... everyone acts like theyāre on autopilot. Iām concerned.ā
He smirksāa slow, almost lazy curve of his lips that doesnāt quite reach his one good eye, āLifeās exhausting, isnāt it? Especially when people keep insisting on making it harder.ā
You remember the nightmare you never wanted to relive: the shrill ring of your phone during lecture, the way your heart dropped as you answered, the trembling voice on the other end delivering the worst newsāthe news that your husband was dying.
āThat sounds like something youād say just to avoid talking about what really matters,ā you almost laugh, though it comes out as a breathy exhale.
You left the classroom without a word, your studentsā confused whispers fading behind you as you raced through rain-slicked roads. You reached the hospital, breathless and trembling, only to be told the truth you could barely faceāhe didnāt make it. You remember standing there, frozen, clutching the ringāthe only piece of him left in your grasp. And now, as your eyes meet his in the car, a strange mix of fear, disbelief, and something darker curls in your chest. Heās here. Alive.
Anaxa shrugs, his eyes briefly glinting with amusement, āMaybe. Or maybe itās because Iāve learned that sometimes, talking about it doesnāt make it better. Just louder.ā
The car hums along, tires crunching softly over the snow.
[ Do not fear blasphemyā ]
Winter has made the house feel colder than it should, even with the heater murmuring steadily in the corner. The radio plays a song about āPenroseāāsomething youāve never heard before. You shift in your chair, the wooden legs creaking against the floorboards. Your hands are stiff from clutching the fork and knife too tightly, and your plate glares back with its bland stir-fry of wilting vegetables and reheated rice. Thrown together from whatever you could salvage from the fridge, it tastes like nothing. A purely functional meal.
Across the table, Anaxa sits in silence. He eats slowly, chewing each bite with mechanical precision. The overhead light is harshāit spills over him, casting every sharp angle into stark relief. Hollow cheeks. Gaunt skin. The eyepatch still wound tightly around his headāthe same fraying strip of white cloth heās worn since he came back. It might have once been clean, but it isnāt anymore. Youāve offered him fresh fabric, but he always declines. His ribs show even through the oversized sweaterāsomething you used to wear. His collarbones jut out like theyāve been carved from stone. Yet he chews, swallows, and raises the fork again. A small mercy, you think. Heās eating. He didnāt use to. You try not to stare, but itās hard not to. Not because of how strange he looks now, but because some part of you is still waitingāwaiting for him to twitch wrong. To move in a way no living man should. You hear your own breath more than his. Youāve been counting the seconds between each of his, unsure if thatās even necessary anymore.
He hasnāt said a word all evening.
Neither have you.
Not really.
You want to ask him a hundred questions, but your throat feels dry, words lodged somewhere between hope and fear. Instead, you settle for watching himāthe slow rise and fall of his chest, the shallow rhythm of his breath. The way his one visible eye blinks spreads tears across the eyeball, cleaning and moisturizing the surface. They arenāt dead or glazed over. In fact, they almost look brighter than before the accident.
He turns his head up slightly, just enough to meet your eyes from beneath the faint shadows cast by the kitchen light. His movements are slowādeliberateāas if lifting his gaze costs more than it used to.
āYouāve been watching me.ā
The words come out flat. Not accusing. Not defensive. A simple truth laid bareālike a bone left out in the snow. You nod once. Thereās no point pretending otherwise. No use untangling the silence with lies. His stare doesnāt break. It feels heavy, not with anger, but with knowledgeālike he already knows what youāve seen and is only asking to hear you admit it.
āYou donāt have to keep pretending,ā you say, voice even but low, āIām scared. But not of you.ā
He shifts; the creak of his chair sounds almost too loud. The overhead bulb flickers once, faint and insect-like. A flicker of somethingāsomething almost like a smile touches his lips.
āFunny,ā he says softly, āI never thought Iād be the one to terrify you.ā
You swallow hard; your mouth suddenly goes dry. The heater in the corner hums uselessly. The warmth it gives off doesnāt reach youānot here, not now. The room feels small, suffocating almost, as if the walls themselves are holding their breath. You shift in your seat, fingertips twitching against your knees, unsure whether to fold inward or reach across the table. You want to touch himāanchor yourself to whatās left of him. But something stops you: an invisible barrier you canāt quite name. His eye remains fixed on you, unblinking.
āWhy wonāt you take it off?ā you finally ask, your voice barely more than a whisper, āThe patch.ā
His eyes flicker away, dark lashes brushing his cheek, āSome things are better left hidden.ā
āBut itās been days,ā you press.
He doesnāt answer right away. Instead, he shifts, the thin fabric slipping slightly to reveal the gaunt outline of his collarbone beneath the threadbare shirt. The sight makes your chest tightenāin that awful, breathless way you still havenāt learned to control.
āOne step at a time,ā he says at last.
The clock ticks loudly in the silence, each second stretched thin, taut as wire and just as ready to snap. You glance at the eyepatch, at the knot securing it in place, and your breath catches. You know the truth is waiting beneath itāsilent, patient, watchingāuntil the moment youāre brave enough, or desperate enough, to look.
[ It is already a sin to transcend the gods, so what if you become a god!" ]
You never meant to open Pandoraās box.
Okayāmaybe you did. A little.
But it was coming from a place of concern. People are supposed to take care of their eye sockets, especially when one of them is hidden beneath that ratty white eyepatch. He never takes it off. Not when he showers. Not when he sleeps. Not even when the faintest flicker of movement catches your eyeāsomething writhing, alive, beneath the fragile fabric like a restless parasite. You tried to convince yourself it was your imagination, a trick of shadows and exhaustion. But the truth gnaws at you like a bone you canāt stop gnawing. You remember the first time you noticed it: a barely perceptible twitch beneath the fabric, a faint pulse that didnāt match any normal heartbeat. It made your skin crawl. You wanted to ask. You wanted to pry and demand answers. But Anaxaās eyesāwell, the one you could seeāalways held that same apathetic calm, as if whatever was happening underneath didnāt bother him one bit.
You told yourself: If itās infected, he could die. Again.
You told yourself: Itās not Anaxa. Not really. Not entirely.
But also: What if it is? You'll be alone again.
Itās 2:59 a.m. The air conditioner hums softly, its steady drone blending with the distant wind sweeping the remaining dead leaves, like a restless insect trapped in the night. Heās stretched out on the bed, limbs loose and limp like a scarecrow abandoned in a forgotten field. The thin sheet draped over him barely reaches his chest; now heās wrapped in twice as many layers, the winter wonderland outside reflecting through the window. His breathing is shallow, too even, too controlledāa carefully rehearsed performance. You move cautiously, the worn socks you borrowed muffling your steps on the creaky floorboards. Your heart pounds violently against your ribs, threatening to break free and leave you behind.
You kneel beside the futon, every muscle tense, every breath caught.
Your hand hovers, hesitant, trembling slightly as it reaches out.
The eyepatchāfrayed and stained from too many nightsāclings to his face, held by a crude knot tied at the back of his head. You tug gently, careful not to wake him, just enough to loosen the fabric, just enough to lift the edge.
Just enough to seeā
āThatās not polite.ā
You freeze.
The voice is low, dryāsmooth like cracked leather. Not angry. Not startled. Justā¦ amused. You glance up, meeting his one exposed eye, which glints faintly in the dark, alive with that same crooked humor you thought youād lost forever
"To know it is to cease to know. To see it is to never see again in straight lines."
Your breath catches, the air growing inexplicably colder as shadows stretch and twist, reaching toward you with silent hunger. You remain frozen, unable to tear your gaze away, even as the patch slips from your fingers, compelled by some unseen forceābeckoning you to witness what lies beneath.
And then you see it.
Not an eye.
An abyss yawns open where one should be.
A hollow carved impossibly deep, devoid of blood or bone. Pure emptinessāan endless void swallowed in darkness darker than night itselfāa cavernous gulf where life should have been. That void shifts, inhales, and exhales with a slow, unnatural rhythm, as if breathing with a life all its own. Within the darkness, something coils and writhes, its shape fluid and ominous, like smoke caught in a slow storm.
Then, without warning, it turns its gaze toward you. The abyss looks backāits presence a heavy weight pressing deep into your bones, a silent promise of secrets too vast to comprehend. A color out of space.
āSo youāre the reason he clings to this meat. How unexpected.ā
The voice is curious. Not cruel. Not kind. You want to say somethingāanything. But all you can do is stare into the depths where his eye should be and feel it stare back. Your hands tremble, but you havenāt screamed yet. Youāre not running either.
āThis body remembers your voice. It twitches when you laugh. It cried when you touched it.ā
And then, Anaxa blinks. The patch is back in place. You donāt remember putting it there.
He exhalesāslowly, tired.
āI was hoping you wouldnāt look,ā he says. The real him, or something close enough.
You swallow hard.
Because despite this impostor pretending to be your Anaxa, you feelā¦ relieved. You donāt have to stay stuck in the grieving widow phase for the rest of your life. You donāt have to endure the pitiful stares from everyone except Veritas. Most importantly, you donāt have to imagine what your life would be like without Anaxaābecause heās here, in some form. Even if heās lost the muscles in his arms, even if you can practically see his ribs beneath the heavy layers of clothing, his face sunken and hollow.
āYou should clean that,ā you whisper.
āItās not infected,ā he says.
āIt could be.ā
He laughsāquiet, rough. Close enough.
āAnd youāre not afraid?ā
You study himāthe hollow cheeks sunken deeper than you remember, skin so white it makes you think of hospital tiles and the static noise between radio stations. His thin frame barely fills out the threadbare clothes. He looks like a ghost tethered to this worldāsomeone who died but didnāt quite come back right.
Still, your voice is steady when you say, āNo. You came back. Thatās enough.ā
The room holds its breath. Silence stretches, heavy and suffocatingālike the space between heartbeats. Then, slowly, almost painfully, he turns to face you. His eyesāone real, one an empty voidāsearch yours, as if trying to remember how to exist in this fragile body again.
āYouāre either very brave,ā the thing inside him murmurs, voice low and rough, āor very foolish.ā
The clockās hands donāt move, but the ticking continuesāas if counting something else entirely. Your hand moves on its own, reaching out to his. The coldness of his skin prickles against your palm, a reminder of everything lost and everything still somehow here. Itās cold. But it squeezes back.
[ ā One of the echoes in Anaxa's memories after the Grove had fallen, which vanished because nobody discovered it. ]
---
*slaps this fic* And that's a wrap! Thank you once again for commissioning me and for being so patient. I hope you all enjoyed this.
I don't want to clog this already long fic up too much, so below I've only written research/references in order of appearance. If you're interested in the writing/thought process, I'll be reblogging this with further notes.
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Golden Apple
It is most famously associated with the Apple of Discord, which represents:
Conflict born from vanity or favoritism (since it was labeled "To the fairest")
The catalyst for larger consequences (such as the Trojan War)
Temptation and choice (as seen in Paris having to decide which goddess deserved the apple)
Phainon
Daimon
In ancient Greece, it was believed that each person had a personal daimon, assigned at birth or death, which influenced their fate and guided them during crucial moments. The daimon didnāt dictate actions, but acted as a subtle force, especially in times of crisis or important decisions.
Socrates famously spoke of his daimonion, a divine voice that warned him against certain actions but never told him what to do. As he put it in Platoās Apology: āThe sign is a voice which comes to me and always forbids me to do something which I am going to do, but never commands me to do anything.ā
In Plato's Republic and Timaeus, daimones are described as mediators of fate, guiding souls in their choices and destinies, ensuring a cosmic balance without direct interference in individual decisions.
Voicelines
While not directly stated in the fic, these are the voice lines that stuck when writing this particular Phainon:
"Accepting others' wishes and turning them into his own wishes ā not all heroes are such blank canvases as him, and that is why the world places such great hopes on him." - Aglaea
"Lord Phainon is kind and friendly to all his companions, but there's always a sliver of pain in his smile... He must have lost something very dear to him." - Hyacine
"Snowy... It always feels like he's carrying too much. Not just his own wishes but also the hatred and expectations of others... Though we all have our own missions, I still get worried... Bearing everything alone is not a good habit." - Tribbie
Symbolism in Numbers (Act + Scene Numbers)
1 (Monad) - Unity, origin, the divine, the source of all things.
10 (Decad) - Totality, divine perfection, return to unity (1+0=1).
Butterfly (The neon sign in the beginning)
The butterfly was often used as a symbol for the soul or daemon, especially in art. Psyche, the Greek word for "soul," is sometimes personified with butterfly wings.
Masks
A symbol of duality or hidden truths. Daemons could "wear" personas or guide others through identity.
Phainon's Greek Name
Phaenon (PhaĆnÅn / Ī¦Ī±ĪÆĪ½ĻĪ½) derives from the Ancient Greek verb ĻĪ±ĪÆĪ½Ļ phaĆnÅ, meaning "to shine." The form ĻĪ±ĪÆĪ½ĻĪ½ phaĆnÅn is its present participle, meaning "the one who shines."
Crescent Moon (Stroke of luck during filming)
In various cultures, the moon is linked with divine protection, especially maternal or lunar goddesses like Artemis.
"Is it so wrong...to have a little hope?" (Phainon's reasoning to Gallagher)
[ "That person alone will witness the miracle" doesn't sound like a good ending, does it? Why did everyone choose to become demigods even after knowing the price? ]
-(excerpt from Phainon's text messages to the Trailblazer)
Mydei
Apotheosis
While the Olympian gods are immortal by nature, apotheosis suggests a pathway to immortality for mortals. Some famous Greek examples are Heracles and Psyche.
My knowledge of the military is incredibly low, so if there are any inconsistencies, please ignore them. I'm trying my best. I did try to get some of my facts straight, but I used U.S military as a guideline since that's the one I'm most familiar with. My Google searches were wild on this one, baby.
Military Report (I put a lot of effort into it, you people need to know this)
Report # - 0319 (Mydei's release banner date) Amphoreous / Castrum Kremnos (CK)
Date - Mydei's banner end date
Time - Version 3.1 (Mydei's banner release version)
Associated Personnel: Lionheart (Taken from his banner's event name "Fiery Lionheart")
Casualties KIA: Taken from the past NPCs from Kremnos (specifically the ones that were warriors)
Trig/Trigger (Reader's Call Sign)
A call sign is a unique identifier, often a nickname, used to identify a unit or individual during radio communications. Personal Callsigns are generally given by members in your unit when you do something that makes you stand out, be it good or bad.
I'm not gonna lie. I needed to have some term to use to refer to reader, and my friend is in love with Trigger from Hoyo's other game, ZZZ. This one's for you (I hope you never find my tumblr)
Time Line
U.S. Task Forces / Special Ops (e.g., Delta Force, SEALs, JSOC Task Forces)
Minimum Time in Service: 2ā4 years, usually, depending on MOS (military occupational specialty).
Total Time: 4ā7 years on average, but again, fast-tracking is possible for exceptional performance, critical skillsets (e.g., languages, cyber, demolitions), or under urgent need.
Recording Equipment (Corporal asking why there was a shutdown)
Special Operations typically don't use body cams since their missions are highly classified. But they might use recording equipment if it's for training, target observation, or accountability-driven operations (e.g., raids with media or political oversight).
In most modern military systems, cutting off or tampering with communication or recording equipment can often be detected, logged, or at the very least suspected, depending on the gear and the system it's connected to.
"Green"
In the military, when someone is described as "green," it means they are new, inexperienced, or untested ā often fresh out of training and just starting in the field. Usually considered "green" for 6 months to a year, or until they've had real combat exposure.
Anaxa
Alogon
Anaxa's prompt wasnāt directly inspired by Greek culture or mythology. The basic premise was to portray him as a cosmic horror parasite, and the closest parallel I found was the concept of the āAlogon.ā (So no, unfortunately, there aren't any eldritch H.P. Lovecraft entities in Greek. Honestly, I think I went more domestic horror.)
In Orphic mythology, the term alogon [ Ļį½ø į¼Ī»ĪæĪ³ĪæĪ½ (a-logos) ] āmeaning āirrationalā or āwithout reasonāāis not a distinct deity or mythological entity, but a philosophical concept representing the chaotic, unformed state of existence prior to creation. It serves as a symbolic contrast to Phanes (also known as Protogonos), the primordial being who emerged from the cosmic egg at the dawn of time. Phanes introduced light, reason, and structure into the universe, transforming the alogon into an ordered cosmos.
Quotes
The first quote line is from Anaxa's lightcone, "Life Should Be Cast to Flames." The rest is what was written in Anaxa's character story, part IV.
Asphodels, myrtles, and pomegranate flowers (The flowers in Anaxa's coffin)
Aspodels: Considered the "death flower" by the Greeks, believed to be the flower of the afterlife
Myrtle: This plant was a symbol of eternity and was often used in funerary arrangements.
Pomegranate Flower: Tied deeply to Persephone, who ate pomegranate seeds in the underworld and is forced to return each year, creating the seasons.
The passing of seasons (Persephone)
Persephone, daughter of Demeter (goddess of the harvest), was abducted by Hades and taken to the Underworld. Grieving, Demeter caused the Earth to wither, bringing on winter. When Persephone was allowed to return, life bloomed againāspring and summer. But because she ate pomegranate seeds in the Underworld, she had to return each year, leading to autumn and winter.
Yaldabaoth (The half-finished book Anaxa left behind)
Also known as Ialdabaoth or Jaldabaoth, Yaldabaoth is a central figure in Gnostic theology, depicted as a false creator who traps souls within the material world.
Juniper (The candle scent Anaxa left behind)
A genus of coniferous trees and shrubs, most notably known for its berries used in gin. Used in purification and protective rituals, especially in ancient Greek and Roman practices.
Penrose (The name of the song on the radio station)
The name "Penrose" is from the Penrose Triangle and Stairs. Two famous impossible objects.
Pandora's Box
A myth from Greek mythology where Pandora, the first woman, was given a sealed jar (later called a box) and told not to open it. Curiosity got the better of her, and when she opened it, all the evils of the world escapedāleaving only Hope inside. It explains the origin of suffering in the world.
2:59 am (The time reader goes to remove Anaxa's eyepatch)
Hecateās hour is traditionally considered to be between midnight and 3 a.m., often called the witching hour or the hour of the night witch. This time is associated with magic, spirits, and the supernaturalāwhen Hecate, the Greek goddess of magic, crossroads, and the underworld, is believed to be most powerful and present. In folklore and later occult traditions, this period is thought to be when the veil between worlds is thinnest, making it a prime time for rituals, visions, and encounters with otherworldly forces.
"A colour out of space." (The void in Anaxa's eye)
A reference to Lovecraft's "The Colour Out of Space" for my literature fans.
Fun Fact: That line about a girl asking how to take proper notes is real. I was the seatmate.
Hello, ladies with gentle hands. Here is my weekly ramble, read by only three people (love you all). Normally, I scream in the tags, but this oneās going to be long, and I donāt think Tumblr will let me tag everything. This beast *slaps fic like a car salesman* can fit so much spaghetti in it.
First, I want to thank everyone for their kind comments. I donāt usually focus on how āwellā a fic performs, especially with commissions (since, you know, itās the commissionerās opinion that matters mostāthey paid for it), but Iām genuinely surprised anyone reads my research notes.
While I canāt go super in-depth about this fic (since itās based on my commissionerās AU and ideas), I did want to share a bit about the writing process, some small details, and a lot of cut content.
Thank you again for commissioning me!
Phainon
Original Reader vs Final Reader
The first major difference from the original draft was the readerās occupation. In the final version, reader is a struggling movie directorācynical and flippant after a string of flops. But originally, I had written the reader as a pessimistic, low-key suicidal mafia/crime figure. I thought the idea of someone whoās ready to die (and kind of wants to) would be an interesting contrast to Phainonās inherent savior complex, both in terms of in-game lore and for the guardian angel prompt. Real āI love them, but I really wish they would stop going to Hellā energy.
Thatās why the fic starts with the reader getting mugged (you can definitely still see fragments of the original concept everywhere). I ended up tweaking it to fit a movie setting, but the bones of that first version are still there.
The two major reasons for the switch were:
It was getting heavy.
Since this was a commission, I didnāt want to push the tone too far into dark territory, especially because the original version was depressive/suicidal. I full-on made reader an alcoholic. I even typed out specific alcohol brands and types before I had to stop and seriously ask myself if this is the direction weāre going.
Phainonās part was written second.
I wrote Anaxaās section first, and I liked the structure of using quotes as separators between scenes. That format didnāt work easily in a mafia-reader storyline, and I just thought the script/play format looked cool. Thatās it. Aesthetic reasons. No regrets.
Blade
This entire paragraph:
āYouād burned through three rookies this month alone. One choked on his own ambition, pushing too hard to prove he belonged. Another took a contract that nearly tore your lungs outāan amateur mistake you barely survived. The last one vanished without a traceāalong with your favorite coat, a souvenir from better days.ā
was originally written for the mafia version of the reader, with only a few word changes to fit the actor/director setting. That last line, in particular, was meant to be completely different and tie into Bladeās brief appearance.
In the original draft, Phainon was supposed to sub in as the readerās replacement bodyguard. But who was the previous bodyguard? Blade.
The original line was:
āThe last one had gotten himself shot in the head by a magenta-haired womanāand both he and his body were gone.ā
Unfortunately, once I changed the setting, Blade no longer made sense in the story. I couldn't picture him fitting in, even as a silent, brooding typecast in a film context. So he got cut from the final version.
Rip, Blade. You were cool for those 1.5 paragraphs.
Ending
The last thing that got cutāhonestly, the whole reason for switching the settingāwas the original ending. I donāt mind darker themes, and while reader is meant to be a blank canvas, I tend to shove them into specific roles or attitudes depending on the story. That said, I donāt think attempted suicide or alcoholism wouldāve flown in the final version. I still really like the original idea, but Iām not mad about how the fic turned out either.
Since Blade was going to appear, the ending scene with Gallagher wasnāt even going to exist. Instead, it wouldāve ended with the reader drinking alone, lamenting their current situation. Theyād begun to suspect Phainon wasnāt just some good samaritanābecause the way he kept saving them shouldnāt have been possible unless he had prior knowledge or could literally see into the future.
āIt didnāt take long for the doubt to fester. Maybe it was the way Phainon always knew where youād be, even when you changed locations last minute. Or how some of your enemies were dying without you lifting a finger. You werenāt stupid. You knew how these things worked. No one works for freeānot without a catch. And if Phainon wasnāt getting paid, maybe he wasnāt working for you at all.ā
Phainon materializes out of nowhere on the other side of the room to gently scold them, because hey, maybe not the best place to be when you're hammered. Reader is about to confront Phainon on his strange behaviour before deciding that: You know what? I honestly don't care. Drink till the last drop, salute to the moon, and throws themselves off the balcony. Of course, Phainon saves them. He's holding reader up by the collar of their shirt, making it clear that he's something super natural because it would be physically impossible to reach reader from his place across the room
I was debating whether to allude to reader knowing the whole time that Phainon was their guardian angel, and purposefully putting themselves in danger just to test that, but it never got that far.
Phainon's Character
I think if the recent story quests hadnāt come out, this version of Phainon wouldāve been way goofier. The guy is going to have the most valid crashout, and heās sufferingā¢.
This version of Phainon assumes that what happened on Amphoreus was real, but he got the bad ending. Fast forward to the modern day: while he doesnāt clearly remember the people involved, he absolutely remembers the feeling of it. That sense of loss lingers. So heās a lot more somber here than how I originally wouldāve written him. Also, given the difference between a daemon and a guardian angel, it makes sense that heās more distant. Daemons arenāt meant to physically interact with humansāthey're supposed to be more of an internal voice or conscience. So I feel like it's justified, or at least thatās what Iām telling myself.
I remember seeing this meme:
Phainon is stamped with this.
Mydei
Not a lot changed
Honestly, I thought Mydei would be my least favourite, but maybe it's the military aesthetic, but I got super into it. Most of the higher word count came from him.
When I say my Google searches were wild for this, Iām not lying. I was looking up everything from weapons jamming to court martialsābasically anything I could dig up, because yāall on Tumblr are crazy and someone out there will fact-check me if they feel like it. Iām sure not all of it is accurate, but hey, it is what it is.
Out of all three parts, Mydeiās followed the original outline the most. I actually ended up writing Mydeiās part last, and Iāll be honest: I straight-up didnāt know what to do with him. There arenāt a lot of easy directions to go with when youāre dealing with an āundying demigod,ā and I didnāt want to do another mafia concept since that was already part of the original Phainon draft. So military AU it is! It felt like the easiest parallel to draw based on his in-game role. (Also, I donāt think a librarian AU gives a lot of chances for the reader to stumble upon his secretāunless itās the most shady library of all time.)
Also, full disclosure: Iāve been getting a ton of military/COD videos recommended to me lately, and they were surprisingly helpful.
CPT. Jing Yuan & LT. Reader
The biggest difference between the original draft and the final version came down to these two major points. For those who know Call of Duty, I had the biggest Price and Ghost dynamic locked in my brain, and I was absolutely going to write that for this ficāJing Yuan as Price, reader as Ghost.
For those who donāt know: essentially, Jing Yuan was originally supposed to replace Mydeiās role, and the reader would have taken Mydeiās original place. So reader would have been Mydeiās superior, and Jing Yuan would be the readerās superior. Make sense? I hope so.
Why the change? Honestly, it just took too long to set up. There was so much groundwork needed to get to the point I wanted that it started to drag. It also didnāt feel like the right role for Mydei either. So I ended up flipping their positionsāMydei became the one in power, and reader the subordinateāand everything fell into place a lot more naturally.
Google Search's Actually Work
I just wanted to point this out as a moment of āwow, I really donāt know anything about the military.ā Originally, in the first meeting between Mydei and reader, I wrote that the reader misfired and nearly got someone killed. Super dramatic. Super tense. But then I did a little Googling and realizedāyeah, no. Realistically, if you nearly kill someone due to a misfire, you're not getting a redemption arc. You're getting discharged. Probably court-martialed. So I scrapped that and replaced it with the weapon jam scenario instead, which is slightly more believable and still lets Mydei do the whole āheroic saveā thing.
Reader
Reader was originally going to be written as way more of a Mydei fangirl/fanboy. Like, full-on boycrush Monday, amirite? While the final draft still has some of that energy, it was going to be way heavier on the idea that the whole reason reader worked so hard and advanced in the military was just to get noticed by Mydei and hopefully join his task force. But letās be honestāthatās kind of shallow (and a little silly), especially for something as serious as the military. So I ended up switching it to something a bit more grounded: readerās just grateful to be alive. (Which, yes, probably means they shouldāve been sent to a psych eval immediately afterābut letās just ignore that for the sake of narrative momentum.)
In the military report at the very beginning, I included a list of NPC names marked as KIA during the mission where reader sees Mydeiās dead body come back to life. Originally, those names were supposed to be the Chrysos heirsāAnaxa, Tribbie, Castorice, etc.ābut I decided it would be a bit kinder to use different names instead. For those who didnāt catch it in the research notes, the names I used were actually taken from past/dead NPCs from Kremnos, specifically ones who were warriors.
Anaxa
Concept
This concept. This concept right here. Cosmic horror parasite Anaxa? Chefās fucking kiss. Beautiful. I sat down and hammered out Anaxaās part so fast. Excellent ideas, commissionerā100/10. I love writing those eerie āsomething is definitely wrong, but reader is in a state where thatās okayā mindsets (see: any of my Dottore fics as examples).
For Phainon and Mydeiās parts, I tried to do some research into their general AUsāmovie director and military, respectivelyājust to get a better understanding of what I was working with and how things should be structured. But for Anaxa? I didnāt look up a single thing. No H.P. Lovecraft, nothing. The only research I did was for symbolism. Thatās why in my notes, Anaxa has way more symbolic objects than the others. So Iām really glad people found Anaxaās part eerie, because sometimes my intent gets a little lost in translation.
Aglaea
The entire section with Anaxa and reader in the car was originally supposed to be between Anaxa and Aglaea instead. In the first draft, I planned to include a paragraph about Anaxa becoming distant from reader and spending more time with Aglaea. Itās not clear to reader why this is happeningāany time itās brought up, Anaxa just brushes it off.
āAnaxa has been speaking with Aglaea a lot lately. Youād think with all the twisting hallways and endless rooms of Paperfold University, itād be hard to run into the same person twice. And yet, everywhere you turn, you see green against gold. Itāsā¦ strange. You know Anaxa and Aglaea have a complicated relationshipāthey donāt even like each other. At least, you thought they didnāt.
Aglaea had attended Anaxaās funeral. She held your hand in comfort while you quietly fell apart inside. Sheās always been seen as someone of good character.
But stillā¦ no one remembers that funeral.
A dark fester begins to grow in your chest.ā
I ended up cutting this part because it felt a little too pettyākind of stupid, honestly. I thought that this would be a bigger push as to why reader is fine with Anaxa's cosmic horror inside because they don't want to lose him in any way, death or another person. But Anaxa is reader's husband, not a friend or old crush. The focus should be that the love of your life has died, then came back to life, and if seeing them back in the dirt is better than having them alive, even as an impostor.
Anaxa's Role
Speaking of Anaxaās relationship with reader, he was actually supposed to be a childhood friend/crush lol. Thatās where the Aglaea section originally came from. It was only while writing readerās flashbacks across the ages and ending that I decided to switch it:
"You were twelve when you watched from the back of the classroom.....
At sixteen, you found yourself scribbling his name..."
(By the way, those are all from Anaxaās actual character storiesāI just modernized the setting for the AU. Example: Dromas ā Lizards.)
There are a few slight changes in the story after I made the switch. The basic outline stays the same, but the emotional tone shifts. The biggest change is what the "entity" says at the end:
āSo youāre the reason he clings to this meat. How unexpected.ā
In the final version, I hope this reads as: Anaxa is still partially lucid because he cares about his spouse. So while the entity is busy liquefying everyone elseās brain matter (rip to the students), he holds it back from harming reader. Heās still in there. This version of Anaxa is basically a cosmic horror timeshareāAnaxa's soul is still present, just sharing a host with a cosmic horror entity.
However, in the original version, the entity would have only said this line:
āThis body remembers your voice. It twitches when you laugh. It cried when you touched it.ā
That would have meant Anaxaās soul is completely gone. Thereās no one left insideājust the entity wearing his skin. But the body still remembers you. The ghost of muscle memory. Thatās why āit cried when you touched it.ā
I liked both directions a lot, but I think it's metal as fuck that Anaxa literally crawled out of death, choked out a cosmic parasite from the inside, and is holding on just to reunite with his spouse. Because āātil death do us partā is for quitters. Once againāitās for the aesthetic.
Delays
Fun fact to my commissioner if you're reading this. My draft for Anaxa got deleted by tumblr's broken automatic save system. That's why I asked for an extra day;;
Request: [ A Modern AU with each character as a mythological figure/being. Phainon as a guardian angel, Mydei as an undying demigod, and Anaxa as a cosmic horror parasite. ]
Note: Liberties were taken with each character's cultural/mythological backgrounds. More information at the end.
[Masterlist]
Back at it again for another season, baby! Thank you so much for commissioning me, and I hope you like it!
Phainon
Daemon (Daimon / ĪĪ±ĪÆĪ¼ĻĪ½) ā A spirit or semi-divine guide, neither good nor evil, acting as a quiet protector or inner voice. Unseen but ever-present, it might steer fate, whisper advice, or guide you toward your destiny.
ACT I, SCENE I
FADE IN:
EXT. DINGY ALLEY BEHIND A RESTAURANT - NIGHT
A flickering neon butterfly sign buzzes overhead, sputtering in embarrassed shades of pink and red. Its failing light spills across a grease-stained back doorāthe kind that hasnāt closed properly in years. Rain slicks the pavement, pooling into oil-slick puddles that shimmer with distorted reflections. The air reeks of old gasoline, wet cardboard, and something burnt-out and electrical. Trash bags slump against the faded red brick walls, both deflated and bloated. You wonder if there are any dead bodies inside, just waiting to be discovered, then ignored.
And thereās the knife at your throat.
Not an assassin. Not a business deal gone wrong. Not even the aftermath of someoneās drunken spiral. Just a manādesperate, hollow-eyed, with hands that wonāt stop shaking. A ratty ski mask clings to his head, threadbare and sagging, worn past the point of dignity. His jacket is soaked and sour with mildew. Cracked fingers clutch a rusty blade too tight, one wrong breath away from splitting your skin. He reeks of cheap liquor, bile, and something sweet thatās been dead too long.
āMoney,ā he hisses, voice brittle and raw, āNow.ā
It's all so...
disgustingly boring.
What happened to the gunmetal briefcases and monogrammed bullets? To assassins who glided over wet pavement without a sound, slipping through shadow and silence with practiced ease? What happened to the paper-screen duels, where silhouettes clashed in ghostly choreographyāevery movement a whisper before the final blow landed in a burst of stylized violence? Even the black-and-white mafia films had flair: steel-toed boots, pinstripe suits, cigar smoke curling around sneers and snub-nosed pistols. They kicked down doors with bravado, spilled in with bad accents and worse metaphors, and died in poetic slow motionāwhite rose pinned to their chest, black blood on their cuffs.
But this?
No drama. No build-up. No artistry. Just another man at the end of his rope, waving a blade in the dark, praying fear would do what fate never could. The whole scene screamed low effortālike a student film with no budget, no vision. Pig slop. Bloated. Overdone. Youād seen better tension in a toothpaste commercial. It felt like every review youād ever gotten: flat direction, overwrought, emotionally shallow. You could practically hear a snide criticās voice echoing in your skull as your eyes rolled so hard they nearly got stuck.
āWow. Really phoning it in tonight, huh?ā you mutter, voice dry as sandpaper, āSeriously? You think Iām worth mugging? I donāt even have a coat.ā
You slump against the rain-slick brick, the mortar biting through your thin button-up. Cold seeps straight into your spine as the knife presses harderānot deep enough to break skin, just enough to remind you this scene isnāt over yet. The muggerās hands tremble like a marionette with its strings half-cut.
You sighālong, theatrical, like a curtain call no one asked for.
āCome on. Whereās the emotion? The stakes? Youāre desperateāshow me that. Cry a little. Maybe scream. Iām all for authenticity, but youāve got to rehearse your lines before curtain. This kind of improv?ā You wag a finger, āIt throws everyone off. Wrecks continuity. Makes for very angry sponsors.ā
One hand lifts in mock surrender, the other gesturing vaguely, āHonestly, if I were running this scene, Iād cut you entirely. Maybe replace you with a mute clown. At least thatād be memorable.ā
āI said money!ā His voice cracksāthin, frayed, angry.
āAlright, alrightāno need to get moody,ā you say, lifting your hands like youāre trying to soothe a diva mid-tantrum, āIāve got some cash. Right side, pants pocket. Not a lot, but heyāsupporting roles donāt pay like they used to.ā
The mugger steps in, close enough for you to smell the sour rot of his breath. The blade catches a flicker of neon as he moves. One hand drops from your collar, trembling fingers inching toward your pocket, greedy for the crumpled bills stuffed inside.
Thenā
A stutter.
A splat.
He drops like dead weight.
You blink. You really hope he's not dead. Police on your set doesn't make for great paparazzi.
āLetās not ruin a perfectly mediocre Tuesday night, yeah?ā
The voice cuts clean through the alleyās tension. Behind the crumpled body, a man stands framed in the dim glow of the restaurantās now-open back door. It swings lazily shut behind him, sighing on its hinges. A sliver of warm kitchen light spills into the dark, casting him in sharp streaksācity haze curling at his shoulders like smoke, neon lights stuttering across the shock of white hair. Tall. Broad-shouldered. He wears a chefās coat, still dusted with flour. Oil stains splatter faded patterns across the front, abstract and familiarālike heās been through worse than grease fires. Sleeves rolled to the elbow. Forearms lean, marked by old burns and kitchen scars that tell their own stories.
But itās his eyes that freeze the moment: too calm. A bit cheeky actually.
And thenāhe smiles.
āYou alright?ā he asked, voice warm and casual, as if this were all terribly normal.
You exhaledāfinally. āNo. Worse.ā
His grin widenedāeasy, lopsided, a bit cute, āOh?ā
You tilted your head, eyes narrowing, amusement curling at the edge of your exhaustion. Slowly, deliberately, you raised your hands, fingers forming two sharp āLās in front of your face like a makeshift directorās frame. He blinked, puzzled, but didnāt move. Just stood there in his flour-dusted chef coat, letting you silently finish your odd little ritual. In the cooler light, his messy white hair almost shimmers, catching the moonlight like a soft halo. Those cyan eyesāno colored contacts could ever match their intensityāhold you with a magnetic calm. His features are sculptedāsharp jawline, high cheekbones, the clean lines of someone carved rather than bornābut softened around the edges by something subtler. A kind of gentleness. There's an almost feminine grace to him, and androgyny like that is rare in this line of work.
Not bad. Not bad at all. He's got leading man energy. Stupid nickname pending already.
āAlright, youāre hired,ā you say, lowering your hands with a satisfied smile, even snapping your fingers together. You reach into your pocket and fish out a slightly crumpled business card, the edges softened from wear. Holding it out with a slow, deliberate gesture, you meet his eyes, āCome to this location at 7:00 tomorrow morning. Do not be late.ā
The man takes the card between his fingers, pale light glinting off its glossy finish. He doesnāt even glance at it but nods once in acknowledgment. You catch the faintest flicker of curiosityāor maybe confusionācrossing his features. Fair enough. The last few minutes have been strange. Without another word, you pivot on your heel and vanish into the wet night. The neon sign above buzzes faintly, casting an uneven glow over the slick pavement. Rain continues to fall in a soft drizzle, its quiet patter blending with the distant hum of the city.
Phainon stands for a moment, eyes lingering on your retreating form. Then, he tucks the card into the pocket of his chefās coat and slips back through the swinging kitchen door. Inside, the kitchen bursts with lifeāthe clatter of pots and pans mingling with the hiss of steam and the sharp calls of the night crew. The air hangs heavy with the scent of garlic, hot oil, and sweat. Phainon weaves through the cramped space with practiced ease, sidestepping a precarious stack of dirty plates and a boiling pot. He spots Mydei leaning against the counter, arms crossed, eyebrows raised, furiously wiping down the stainless steel surface.
āMydei!ā Phainon calls out over the clatter, bursting through the swinging kitchen doors with the kind of urgency usually reserved for grease fires or health inspectors. His voice cracks slightlyāa blend of panic and poorly hidden excitement, āI need to use my vacation daysā¦ like, right now!ā
Mydei looks up from wiping the prep counter, rag frozen mid-swipe. He blinks slowly, a slight twitch in his eye, āā¦What? Why all of a sudden?ā
Phainon shifts his weight from one foot to the other, his shoes squeaking faintly on the slick tile. His hands hover in the air, fingers twitching as if trying to physically pluck an explanation out of thin air, āI got hired for a new job!ā
Thereās a beat of silence before Mydei sets the rag down with exaggerated care, eyes narrowing, āA newāwhat the fuck are you talking about, Phainon? What job?ā
āUhā¦ I donāt know yet?ā Phainon says, scratching the back of his neck, white hair mussing even more. His cheeks flush pink under the harsh fluorescent lights as he avoids Mydeiās gaze. Mydei stares at him. Then, with the dead-eyed precision of someone whoās endured Phainonās nonsense one too many times, he balls up the rag and chucks it at his face. It hits with a wet smack.
Phainon takes it in stride, sighing dramatically as the rag slides off his cheek and flops onto the floor. That one actually kind of hurt.
FADE OUT:
ACT I, SCENE I
CUT
---
ACT II, SCENE VII
FADE IN:
INT. OFFICE - MORNING
āPhainon,ā he says, āChef, part-time dishwasher. Full-timeā¦ problem-solver.ā
You didnāt like working with new talent. They were either too chatty, jabbering when silence was gold, or too violent, quick to throw fists instead of listening. Too flashy, desperate to be seen and heard, or too late, showing up after the damage was already done. Youād burned through three rookies this month alone. One choked on his own ambition, pushing too hard to prove he belonged. Another took a contract that nearly tore your lungs outāan amateur mistake you barely survived. The last one vanished without a traceāalong with your favorite coat, a souvenir from better days. But every now and then, you find a diamond in the rough. A raw edge of talent, hidden beneath the grime and mistakes, waiting for someone to buff, cut, and polish it until it catches the light just right. Itās a gamble, sure, but when it pays off? The spotlight shines brighter than any artificial light, and itās worth every scar.
This one was different. For starters, you were pretty sure his name was fakeābecause seriously, what kind of name is Phainon? Even a pen name wouldnāt be so pretentious as to literally mean ābrightā or āshining.ā It sounded less like a real name and more something a self-important poet might invent during a late-night epiphany.
And the second partā¦ well.
He was perfect. āPhainonā had no visible character flaws, on or off the set. On set, he delivered his lines flawlessly, every word crisp and natural, as if he were born to deliver. The perfect actor, as if the Grandfather of Cinema himself had accidentally dropped the wrong copy of the script straight from the heavens and placed Phainon in your lap. Youād heard of extreme method actors, but you werenāt sure youād ever seen anyone quite his caliber. Phainon carried that same cheery, placid smile everywhereānever cracking, never faltering. It was almost eerie, as though he was permanently stuck in character, perhaps a little too comfortable living in that perfection.
It began with a crew lightāan aging floodlight mounted too high, groaning under its own weightāteetering dangerously during the shoot. You caught the shift from the corner of your eye, but just a fraction too late. The metal rig wobbled precariously on its worn stand, bolts frayed and rusted from years of use. Its spotlight began a slow, deadly tilt. One more second and it wouldāve come crashing down onto you. Maybe on someone elseās head too. Definitely on your budget.
Then: Action.
A flicker of white darted past the edge of the frame. A hood caught in the breeze, revealing a sun tattoo peeking just above the hemāfaint, golden, a quiet hum of warmth on an otherwise cold, gray day. The hand that reached up moved with unhurried calm, catching the heavy light with ease and steadying it as if soothing a spooked animal. No grunt, no stumbleājust a solid arm. You didnāt even get the chance to ask if he was okay before Phainon turned his head slightly, voice low and soft enough for only you to hear.
āDonāt flinch. Youāll ruin the shot, Director.ā
There was a smile in his voiceāfaint, teasing, but never mocking. A soft flutter of wind caught at his coat as quiet footsteps faded away, carrying him back to his mark as if nothing had happened. You stood frozen for a moment, your throat tightening somewhere between a thank-you and a curse. Then your brain snapped back into motion.
āPlaces!ā you bark, louder than necessary. āEveryone, back to one. Reset the track. Lights, tighten your rigging!ā
The crew scrambles, rushing to their positions. The light is back where it belongs. The shot is saved. But your heart keeps hammering, a cold knot tightening in your chest. And Phainon? He never looks your way again.
It happened again on the third day of shooting, past golden hour and well into the frayed edge of everyoneās nerves. The air on set hung heavy with heat and halogen, buzzing lights above throwing sharp-edged shadows. A missed prop cue. A wardrobe malfunction. Too many takes are bleeding into each other. Tension layered thick as smoke.
Then the sponsor snapped.
āYou want to run this circus? Then maybe act like it!ā he barked, his voice cracking across the soundstage. You stood rigid in front of the monitor, clutching the camera like it might anchor you. Your teeth dug into the inside of your cheek. Around you, the crew shiftedāsome pretending not to notice, others casting you wary or sympathetic glances. No one said a word.
Your knuckles were bone-white.
Thenāquietly, steadilyāsomeone stepped up behind you. Not intruding. Justā¦ present.
āDon't be so wired,ā said a low voice near your ear. Smooth. Steady. Certain.
Phainon.
You felt him before you saw himāthe calm weight of his hand closing gently over yours, adjusting your grip on the camera. His fingers were cool, the pads calloused but exact, like a pianistāsāor someone used to handling delicate machinery. Probably a knife. You keep forgetting he used to be a chef. The tension in your shoulders began to unspool, though you didnāt loosen your hold just yet.
āThey can yell all they want,ā he said, his eyes on the chaos unfolding ahead like it was nothing more than set dressing, āBut youāre the one holding the lens.ā
You blinked.
The words landed somewhere beneath your ribs, quiet but steadyāreminding you what mattered. What was still yours to hold.
Still, you couldnāt help yourself.
āAre you saying I should throw it at them?ā you muttered, eyes forward.
A pause. Then the faint tug of a smirk at his lips.
āRespectfully,ā he said, releasing your hand with the same lightness heād arrived with, āI donāt think youāve got the arm strength for that.ā
A breath caught in your throatāthen slipped out as a crooked laugh. Small, but real.
Your shoulders eased. You raised the camera again, adjusted the lens with new focus, and called out to the crew, āReset. Weāre going again.ā
No one argued.
And when you looked back, Phainon was already across the setāsleeves rolled, calmly discussing lighting with a grip. Just another cog in the machine. Seamless. Unbothered. But you knew. Heād been thereāin a moment no one else had dared to step into. Quietly, without fanfare, heād drawn a line around you. Not loud. Not dramatic.
Just enough. Just present.
Another time, it was water.
The shoot had dragged into its twelfth hour. Your eyes were dry from staring at monitors too long, your neck stiff, brain fogged over. You hadnāt moved from your chair in what felt like days. Around you, the set buzzed with quiet urgencyāstagehands murmuring, the distant clatter of equipment, the steady hum of overhead lights. You didnāt notice the footsteps approaching. You barely noticed anything anymore. Then, as quietly as a breath, a bottle of water landed beside your elbow. Cool against the warm metal of the table. Condensation slid down its side, catching the light. The cap was already cracked open, like someone knew you wouldnāt have the energy.
āYou forgot to hydrate again, Director,ā Phainon saidāhis voice barely rising above the ambient buzz. Not a scold. Not exactly concern. Justā¦ not letting it slide. He didnāt wait for thanks, didnāt even look at you. Just placed the bottle there like it belonged, lingering a moment longer before turning away.
You blinked down at it, then up at himāalready halfway across the set, his white sleeves a blur in the chaos.
āThanksā¦ Phainon,ā you called after him, his name slipping out like an afterthought, a little awkward on your tongue. He didnāt stop walking, but the corner of his mouth tilted upward. And you swore, even without turning back, he looked pleased all the same.
And in the quiet, long after the shouting had died down, the lights had dimmed, and most of the crew had gone home, you sat alone, shoulders slumped, eyes fixed on the monitor. The same take played for the fifth time. Then the sixth. You werenāt even sure what you were looking for anymore. Every shot blurred into the next. Maybe it had never been good. Perhaps none of it was working. Your hands hovered near the controls but didnāt move. Self-doubt crept in like moldāslow, patient, and relentless. Then, a soft shuffle of footstepsāquiet, not meant to be noticed. But you noticed anyway. Phainon paused behind you. No grand entrance, no forced comfortājust the faint rustle of fabric as he leaned in slightly, arms crossed.
āItās starting to feel real, Director.ā
His voice was gentle, barely more than a breath against your shoulder. It cut through the fog in your mind sharper than any shout ever could. Never intrusive. Never loud. But always thereāflipping the switch, setting the shot, grounding the chaosāuntil, without meaning to, you realized: your story was unfolding.
āDonāt look away now.ā
It didnāt happen all at once. It never does. First, it was the way the sunrise hit the coffee steam just right during a late rewrite session. Then, how an offhand line an actor improvised during rehearsal rang louder than anything you wrote. A casting mishap landed you a last-minute extra whose faceāwrinkled, worn, honestābecame the heart of the scene. The rain started the second the camera rolled, unplanned but perfect. The crescent moon in the sky reflected in the growing puddles. A location scout tripped into a forgotten alley that looked exactly like the one from your dreams. A song on the radioāstatic-filled, half-familiarāstitched your ending together like thread through old film. And somehow, by the time the final cut played in front of a blinking crowd, you realized youād made something. Something real. Not just a movie. A moment. Yours.
Your short film, after more than a decade of nothing, was an instant success.
ACT III, SCENE X
FADE IN:
EXT. OAK FAMILY BUILDING BALCONY - NIGHT
āIsnāt this a non-smoking area?ā Phainon asked, his tone light as he watched the rumpled man in a too-tight dress shirt, a wine-red tie slung loosely over one shoulder, spark his lighter and take a long drag from a cigarette. A puff of smoke curled slowly into the air as the manāGallagher, if Phainon remembered correctlyāthrew him a sideways glance.
āYou gonna tattle on me, boy?ā The manās voice was raspy, but not as deep as Phainon had expected. He chuckled, shaking his head.
With Gallagher positioned right out in the openāperfectly visible from both the celebration hall and the balconyāPhainon figured the old manās employer, the grey-haired patriarch of the Oak family, had a clear view of him lighting up. Maybe that was the point. Maybe Gallagher wanted to get caught. The man took another drag, the cigarette burning low. Smoke curled around his fingers, lazily drifting upward like something alive and indifferent. His gaze flicked to Phainon againāsharper this timeānot just annoyed or amused, but knowing.
āYouāre a long way from your post, halo-boy,ā Gallagher mutters, exhaling a slow stream of smoke through his nose, āDaemons donāt usually hover around like lost puppies. Unless youāre planning to break the rules.ā
Phainon doesnāt answer at first. His hands slip into his coat pocketsāthose subtle pockets the waitstaff never quite notice. His stance is too casual for someone standing so openly exposed. But his eyes-those unnervingly still cyan eyesāremain fixed on the city beyond the balcony, as if heās watching the future unfold frame by frame.
āI didnāt break any rules,ā Phainon says softly, voice steady as ever, hands folded neatly behind his back, āNot yet.ā
The smoke curling from Gallagherās cigarette wavers. He lets out a low, wet chuckleāgravel and tar caught in his throat.
āYet,ā he repeats, amused. His sharp teeth flash beneath the cityās sodium haze, āSo itās true. Youāre attached to them. The āDirector.āā
He drags the title through the ash with mock reverence, āWhatās the game here? Some divine redemption arc? Guilt? Or just bored of the clouds and decided to babysit a trainwreck?ā
Phainon doesnāt flinch but he exhales slowly through his nose, thoughtful. The damp night wind tousles loose strands of his white hair. Thereās a flicker in his eyesānot irritation, not offenseābut something older. Resigned. He hums softly, tilting his head as if Gallagherās question were nothing more than a passing breeze instead of a loaded jab. His gaze drifts past the demon, toward the ballroom doors, where your silhouette slips out of sight, shoulders heavy but still moving forward.
āIs it so wrong...ā Phainon says at last, voice dipped in something quiet and certain, āto have a little hope?ā
For a beat, Gallagher goes still, the ember of his cigarette burning just a little too bright in the dark. He snorts, smoke curling from his nostrils, āDoesnāt sound like a good ending.ā
The wind tugs faintly at their coats. The city hums below the balconyādistant honks, the low thrum of a passing tram, neon reflected in puddles like half-forgotten memories. Phainon doesnāt answer at first, only glancing over with that strange, unreadable stillness about him. A ghost of a smile, barely there, plays on his lips. Not joy. Not mockery. Something in between.
āIt never is,ā he murmurs, his voice quieter now, as if the truth might shatter if spoken too loud.
Gallagherās jaw works. His fingers twitch, the cigarette burning dangerously close to the filter. He doesnāt look at Phainonājust stares out into the night, as if searching for answers buried in the rain-slick skyline. The weight of those words settles between them, heavier than the smog hanging in the air. A silence that doesnāt beg to be filled, only witnessed. Gallagher flicks the cigarette over the railing. Sparks trail behind like dying fireflies.
āHope your miracleās worth it,ā he says, quieter now. Not a sneer. Almostā¦ reverent.
Phainon doesnāt respond.
His eyes are already elsewhere, drawn past the smoke, the streetlamps, and the flickering signs, back to the celebration hall doors. The faintest hint of movement. A silhouette. You. His charge. His burden. His reason.
And he watches, as if youāre the only real thing in this world of false lights.
Mydei
Warning: It's quite brief, but just in case: Guns, death, fighting, mission gone wrong, PTSD, panic attacks, and blood.
Apotheosis ( į¼ĻĪæĪøĪĻĻĪ¹Ļ ) ā The process by which a mortal is elevated to divine status, becoming a god or a divine being. This transformation often occurs after death or as a reward for extraordinary deeds, heroism, or favor from the gods.
The sterile white walls closed in around youāa cold, suffocating cage. Your ribs throbbed painfully with every shallow breath, each inhale sharp enough to steal the air from your lungs. A persistent beep echoed steadily from the heart monitorāan unrelenting reminder that you were alive, but barely. You sure didnāt feel like it. Your fingers twitched restlessly beneath the thin hospital blanket, the fabric rough against your skin. Your mind churned with memories you dared not speak aloud.
The door opened abruptly with a sharp knock. For a moment, you were terrified it was Jing Yuanābut a stranger stepped inside, eyes sharp and unwavering. His uniform was crisp, his presence commanding, as if the weight of the entire military bore down on his broad shoulders. A few other men flanked him quietly, their hands folded behind their backs.
āWhat happened out there?ā he demanded, his voice cold and unyielding. Youād never seen this man before, but just from his tone alone, you knew he held a higher rankāprobably a corporal. Your throat tightened painfully. The truth felt like a heavy stone lodged in your chest: Mydei falling, the battlefield descending into chaos, and something impossible stirring beneath it all. Swallowing past the lump, you forced your voice into a steady calm. You were secretly relieved it wasnāt Jing Yuanāhe would have known you were lying just from your breathing.
āIt was bad. Worse than anything Iāve been through. We were pinned down, outnumbered,ā You paused, biting back the urge to spill everything, licking your dry lips, āBut Myd- Lieutenant Mydeimos- heā¦ he took care of it. Made sure I got outā¦ He saved my life, sir.ā
The corporalās eyes narrowed, sharp and piercing, as if trying to slice through the walls youād built, āYour mission was intel-gathering on the Titans. Our transcriptions show there was a deliberate shutdown of your recording equipment for 33 minutes and 46 seconds, right when the fire team went dark. Care to explain that?ā
You clenched your jaw, mind racing as you scrambled for the right answerāthe truth carefully hidden beneath layers of omission.
āNo excuse, sir. Weād been compromised, and in my panic, my hand caught the wireā¦ā You trailed off, unsure what more to say. Lowering your head, you let the silence fill the room. The corporalās gaze lingered, suspicion flickering beneath his disciplined exterior. Yet he said nothing further. The faint scribble of his pen on paper marked every word youād spoken. Finally, he let out a long sigh.
āWeāll verify your story. Any inconsistencies wonāt be tolerated. Rest easy.ā.
The door clicked shut behind him, leaving you swallowed by silence. You let out a shaky breath, the weight of your secret crushing your chest like a vice.
No one could know what youād truly witnessed.
You closed your eyes and saw it again ā the battlefield torn apart, the eerie stillness that had swallowed Mydeiās form, the unnatural twitch that defied every law youād ever known.
Your fingers curled tightly, knuckles white against the sheet.
It wasnāt supposed to be like this.
The silence of the hospital room pulsed like a second heartbeat. You blinked slowly, still seeing the afterimages ā his silhouette against firelight, still standing after everything.
He shouldāve stayed dead.
///// 03 JUNE 2X21 /////
Youād only been in the military for three months. Fresh out of basic training. Your boots still looked too clean. Your shoulders ached under the weight of gear that didnāt quite feel like yours yet. Your weapon was standard issue, gripped tightly in nervous hands, and your stomach knotted with the thrill of deployment and the terror of screwing up. You were running drills in a scorched training field, smoke and noise everywhere. A hail of bullets cracked through the air, and your fingers moved on instinct ā pull, reset, pullā
Click.
A high, empty click.
No bang. Dead air. Just silence.
Thenā
Metal screamed. Something jammed. Heat surged. Your hand jolted backā
Too late.
The gun backfired. A strong hand on the back of your collar, before you felt weightless. Another hand, ripping the gun from yours.
A sudden boom. A fire of bullets rained down on the sand all at once.
Someoneās shouting. Someone thinks you fired intentionally. You didnāt. But in the silence that follows, no one cares what you meant to do. You hit the dirt with a solid, ungraceful thudāears full of static, smoke curling off your gloves. The scent of gun oil and burnt polymer flooded your nose.
Your weapon skittered across the ground, like it wanted to run away from you.
Then: boots. Heavy. Sure. Grounded like bedrock. A shadow loomed over youāmassive, broad-shoulderedāhis voice cutting through the ringing in your ears like gravel under steel.
āYou alive, rookie?ā
You blinked through smoke and pain, heart hammering against your ribs. You looked upāand that was the first time you saw Mydei. Everything about him seemed larger than life. Broad chestplate scratched from years of fieldwork. His face is somehow still youthful yet serious, and his pupils almost look like cats. You scrambled to sit up, humiliated, your fingers shaking as you reached for your weapon.
āIāmy gunāI'm sorryāsirāā you choked out. He crouched beside you, fingers already moving with expert precision. In less than a second, he popped the jammed receiver and tilted it toward you.
āDouble-feed. Barrel overpressured. Couldāve taken your head clean off,ā he said evenly.
You couldnāt breathe. You almost died. His voice was calm, almost bored, but the words dropped like lead in your stomach. You glanced down at your rifleāthe twisted mess of jammed brass, the blackened edge of the barrel still warm from near-disaster. You hadnāt even realized your hands were still clenched until they started to shake.
You swallowed hard.
Ah, crap. This was it.
You were done.
Theyād kick you for this. Discharged. Maybe even court-martialed. That kind of mistakeāyouād be lucky if they didnāt strip your rank before lunch. Your throat burned. You thought about your fatherās voice when you told him youād enlisted. You thought about all the instructors who said youād never hack it. You thought about how your superior was staring down at you like he was already writing the report in his head.
But he didnāt move to confiscate your weapon. Didnāt call for an officer. Insteadā
āBut thatās not your fault,ā he continued, āFactory flaw. The 8T series has a bad batch.ā
You blinked. āā¦Sir?ā
āIāve seen two of these explode this month,ā he said, standing. His armor creaked as he straightenedāa towering presence, expression unreadable under the shadow of his helmet, āNot a rookie error. Just a damn bad roll of the dice.ā
He held out his hand. Gloved. Firm. Steady. Not a hint of judgment in it.
āWell, Cadet Trigger,ā he added with a faint smirk, āyouāve got a guardian angel somewhere. Or maybe just dumb luck.ā
āā¦Trigger?āYou stared up at him, still frozen on the floor. Your ears were still ringing from the close call. Sweat clung to your back, but the tension began to loosenājust a littleāas your fingers curled around his and he pulled you to your feet.
He gave you a once-over. Not suspicious. Not cold. Justā¦ amused.
āGuns donāt just go off like that,ā he said, walking past, āUnless the triggerās cursed.ā
A pause. A glance over his shoulder, āOr the triggerās you.ā
The other cadets were still staring. Some muttering. Some snickering. But he walked away without another word, and suddenly, you didnāt care about your brush with death.
That nickname stuck.
And so did he.
---
Two days later, you were still tasting gunpowder. Your arm was in a sling, fingers scratched and stiff. The medics had said you were luckyānothing broken, no burns deep enough to scar. āClose call,ā they said, like it wasnāt already replaying in your skull on a loop. But your rifle was toast, and so was your confidence. Jeez, you wanted to put your head in your hands and scream like a little girl. Luckily, they let you sit out the next field rotation, but you werenāt allowed to sit still. You cleaned. You logged ammo. You memorized spec manuals until the text started swimming. Anything to stop thinking about the moment that weapon nearly took your life.
That, and the man whoād stopped the storm like it was nothing.
Mydei.
You hadnāt seen him since. Just the image in your headāboots in the dirt, that low voice like gravel and thunder. You thought maybe you'd hallucinated it. Maybe your brain had dreamed up a perfect soldier to soften the fact that you'd almost eaten your own gun. But, because the Aeons were cruel, suddenly it was as if that was all you could hear.
āHey, Trig.ā
The voice came from two bunks overācasual, half-muttered around a protein bar and a yawn. It was that lean guy with the buzzcut, Marcus or Malin or something? Maybe Marcus was correctāalways half out of uniform, always in everyone elseās business. You looked up from your cot, still rubbing the dull ringing out of your ears. Your hands itchedāghost memory of the rifleās weight, the near-silent click before chaos. Your pack sat half-unzipped at your feet. The gun was long gone to diagnostics, but your heart hadnāt stopped racing since they pried it from your hands.
Marcus tilted his head, that loose, crooked grin plastered on his face.
āThat was some shit, huh?ā he said, nodding toward you like youād just won a bar figh, āTheyāre saying the Lionheart pulled your ass out?ā
You hesitated.
The cot creaked beneath you as you sat up straighter, biting back the lump of uncertainty in your throat. The nameāMydeiāstill echoed in your head. You could see him, glove extended, voice calm, while you drowned in embarrassment and adrenaline.
āā¦I guess,ā you said finally.
Marcus let out a low whistle and slapped his thigh.
āYou donāt even know, man,ā He leaned in, like he was telling you a secret not meant for green ears, āThat guyāheās like a fucking cryptid. Youāve heard the stories, right?ā
You blinked.
You hadnāt. Not really.
Youād heard instructors mention him with that weird mix of respect and wariness. Some called him a relic. Others said heād been transferred so many times that no one knew where heād actually started. You remembered someone once joking that Mydei didnāt even have a last nameājust the call sign and a body count. You thought it was just mess hall gossip.
Now he had a face. A voice. A hand that had pulled you off the floor.
Another voice chimed ināolder, gruffer, āHeard Lionheart once got shot in the neck and still held his breath long enough to drag a pilot out of a downed jet.ā
āB.S.,ā someone muttered. āI heard he went MIA for five days and showed up with five enemy tags and no backup.ā
āFive? I heard it was eight.ā
āYouāre all wrong,ā said the lean guy again, eyes gleaming. āHeās not even supposed to be alive. They say he died once. Heart stoppedāflatlined in the middle of a rescue op. The whole unit saw it. Thenābam. Woke up. Stood up. Finished the mission like nothing happened.ā
You stayed silent.
That last story always stuck to your ribs.
Dead. Then not. Woke up.
You shook it off.
What mattered was the memory: his hand pulling you up. His voice not blaming you. The fact that he noticed the malfunction before anyone else didāand comforted you when he had no reason to.
Whatever else he wasāghost, monster, soldierāHe was kind.
āYou alive, rookie?ā
Yeah. You were. Because of him.
///// 17 MAY 2X23 /////
Your transfer papers came through. You stared at the orders like they might vanish if you blinked too fast.
āEffective immediately, reassigned to Special Task Unit 0-9. Handler: Mydeimos "Lionheart".ā
The room spun for a second. Or maybe that was just the five hours of sleep you hadnāt gotten. Special Task Unit 0-9 was a name whispered between barracks with reverence and disbelief. The kind of team they pulled together for missions that never made it to public reports. You werenāt even sure it existed until now. Your palms went slick as you tucked the papers under your arm and headed toward Deployment Hangar Cāthe one with reinforced walls, heavier security, and the unmarked transport ships that came and went without manifest.
You didnāt feel ready. But you werenāt about to turn it down.
The elevator groaned as it descended into the lower decks. Your reflection in the chrome panel was pale, jaw tight. You adjusted your uniform for the third time before the doors hissed open. The task forceās prep bay was silent. No shouting. No clatter. No wasted movement. Just a group of soldiers in matte black gear, moving like a well-oiled machine. And at the centerā
There he was.
Mydei.
He hadnāt changed. Broad shoulders framed by heavier-grade armor. Helmet clipped to his side. Same calm presenceālike standing near a thunderstorm that hadnāt decided whether to break yet. He looked over when you stepped in, and your chest locked up. Was he going to remember you? That moment when you were just another green recruit with a broken rifle?
He stared for a moment. Then gave a nodāa small, sharp one.
āTrigger.ā
That single word landed like a stamp on your bones.
You straightened. āSir.ā
He handed you a tablet, āLoadout briefingās inside. Mission clock starts at 0700. Get acquainted with the others.ā
And just like that, you were in. No ceremony. No welcome speech. Just his quiet voice, the smell of oil and metal, and the heat of pressure beneath your skin. But even that was more than enough. You followed the others through orientation drills. They were tighter than any squad youād worked with. Efficient. Sharp. Not a lot of talking. Not a lot of room for mistakes. But nobody doubted Mydeiās commands when they came. Nobody hesitated. And slowly, you found your rhythm.
The first op went smooth. The second, less soāa recovery run that turned into an ambush. You got clipped. Not bad, but enough to knock you off your feet. Mydei was the one who dragged you to cover, kept pressure on the wound while giving orders to the others.
āYou alright, Trigger?ā he asked, voice low but steady. You nodded, even though your ribs screamed.
āGood,ā he said. āNext time, donāt let āem flank you. Youāre sharper than that.ā
He didnāt say it with anger. Just certainty. Like he knew you could do better. Like he expected you to. And maybe for the first time, you believed it too.
///// 23 JULY 2X23 /////
That night, you caught him in the makeshift kitchen at the back of the mobile command unit. He was baking. Baking. A giant, undying soldier with hands like thunderāgently stirring batter in a cracked metal bowl. The whole room smelled like cinnamon and almonds.
You blinked, ā...Sir?ā
āYou like cookies?ā he asked. He didn't even look up.
āUh. Yes? I meanāyes, sir.ā
He tossed you one without looking. Perfect arc, landed in your palm like heād done it a thousand times.
āI always bake after missions,ā he said. āKeeps the team human.ā
Not sure what else to do than stare like a creep, you bit into it and nearly melted on the spot. It was warm. Sweet. A little chewy around the edges. Comforting in a way that hit harder than it should have. You could see why the team loved him. He didnāt keep the people he trusted at armās length. Not like some legends did.
There was that time he asked how your side was healing after that shrapnel hit. Offered you water after long marches. Taught you how to disassemble your rifle faster when no one else was watching. Always subtle. Always patient. He showed you how to tell weather shifts by the weight of the clouds. Let you taste his drink choices, pomegranate juice with a splash of milk, because Mydei loved the colour pink. Once, you helped him prep a care package for an orphanage his squad had supported during deployment cyclesābaked goods, canned supplies, a letter written in his clean, precise hand.
āYou always send them stuff?ā you asked, folding socks for the bundle.
āEvery quarter,ā he said. āAnd every time I survive something I shouldnāt.ā
āWhy them?ā
Mydei paused.
āBecause theyāre small. And soft. And the world forgets soft things exist unless someone reminds it.ā
You didnāt know what to say to that.
So, you just nodded and helped pack.
You started watching him more closely.
How his movements were deliberateāalways precise, as if every motion had been calculated a thousand times before. How he always stood with his back to the wall, eyes scanning, never fully relaxed, as though the world outside his reach might turn on him at any second. How his jaw tightened when loud noisesāespecially the sound of distant gunfire or the crack of a falling objectācut through the air. It was a small thing, a barely perceptible flinch, but you caught it every time. He cleaned his gear longer than anyone else, sometimes hours after the others had turned in for the night. The clink of metal tools against steel echoed in the quiet. His hands moved methodically over the rifle, adjusting, re-checking, always making sure it was pristine, even if there was no immediate need. You wondered if he did it to fill the silenceāor if, somehow, the repetitive action grounded him, kept him anchored. Sometimes, when he thought no one was watching, you caught him staring out into the distance, eyes far away, lost in some thought or memory you couldnāt reach. The edges of his expression softened, and for a second, he didnāt look like the myth they spoke of. He looked human. Broken. You werenāt sure when it became a habitāthis need to understand him. The way you found yourself tracking his movements in the corner of your eye, trying to piece together the cracks in his armor, wondering what made him tick. Maybe it was the quiet, patient way he ledāalways watching, always observing, as if waiting for you to figure it out for yourself. But it was more than that. It was a quiet curiosity, a pull in your chest that you couldnāt ignore.
But it did.
And it stuck.
///// 25 MARCH 2X25 /////
It was supposed to be clean.
Extraction. Quick in-and-out. A scattered outpost hidden in a valley of fog and wire, half-swallowed by terrain and time. Intel said there were no active combatantsājust recovery, debrief, then wheels up.
They were wrong.
Your boots sank into the mud just as the first scream ripped through the comms.
Then, the line went dead.
āGuards up. Full spread,ā Mydei ordered, voice sharp as always, already moving with purpose, āTrig, with me.ā
The outpost was gutted, a carcass left to rot under the weight of time. No roof. No walls. Just broken floors sagging under forgotten weight, rusted tech littered in disarray, wires hanging from the rafters like old veins. Vines curled around shattered terminals, their damp leaves clinging to the remnants of a world long abandoned. In the periphery of your vision, something wet dragged across the floorāslow, deliberate, leaving streaks of dark against the gray concrete. The air was thick, heavy with mildew and rot. The hum of static from broken electronics buzzed faintly in the background, the only sound cutting through the oppressive silenceāuntil the second scream cut through the comms, slicing through the air like a knife. Shadows pooled in the corners, lingering, moving in ways that didnāt make sense. There was no sun here, only the sickly glow from the dying lights above.
It didnāt feel like a mission. It felt like a trap.
One second, the squad moved forward in tight formation, boots silent on the cracked floor. Eyes darted, weapons held at the ready, and every footfall was calculated, precise. The nextāan explosion erupted from beneath the ground with a violent, earth-shattering force. The world detonated around you. The floor buckled, throwing you off balance. The air was filled with dust and fire. You fired. So did everyone else. Rounds tore through flesh, the staccato rhythm of gunfire mingling with screams. Bodies fell, some in slow motion, some collapsing all at once. Panic began to creep in from the edges of your vision, as if the world was pulling away, stretching out of focus. But through the chaos, Mydei was at the front, as alwaysāunshakable, unyielding. Weapon roaring, hands steady, posture wide and rooted, as if the storm of fire and death couldnāt touch him. You stayed behind him, as you always didāsilent, watching, waiting for the next order.
Then it happened. A single bullet pierced the air, followed by another six, each one cracking the stillness with brutal precision.
āMydeiā!ā you shouted, panic rising in your throat as you tore through the chaos, your boots pounding against the blood-soaked floor. You shoved bodies aside, desperate to reach him, to see him move, to know he was stillā
āhe stopped moving. Not like a man ducking for cover. Not even like a soldier bracing for the next round. He went still. Too still. A sickening silence fell over the battlefield, sharp enough to cut through the ringing in your ears. Your breath caught, lungs frozen with disbelief. Something thudded deep in your chest. It wasnāt the pounding of your heartāit was something worse. Something cracking. Something breaking.
āTRIGGERāGET BACKāā someone shouted over the comms, the panic in their voice barely breaking through the fog of your own fear. But you didnāt hear them. You screamed his name again, the sound tearing at your throat, but it didnāt matter.
Mydei didnāt move.
And thenā
He did.
Mydei stood.
But it wasnāt like before.
It was as if his body had forgotten how to move with purpose, how to follow the instincts that had always been so sure. His legs locked, muscles stiff, dragging him upright with a slow, unnatural jerk. The space between his movements seemed to stretch, as if time was slipping through the cracks of his body, leaving behind a brittle shell. Blood soaked his side, dark and pulsing through the torn armor, but he didnāt flinch. Didnāt even touch the wound.
His eyesā
They didnāt blink.
The way he staredāhollow, unseeingāmade your stomach twist. Something was gone, something you couldnāt put your finger on. He was there, but he wasnāt. A presence that shouldāve been solid, comforting, was now a gaping absence, standing in front of you like a phantom. You could barely breathe. The air was thick, heavy, pressing against your chest as if the very atmosphere around you had solidified. Mydeiās gaze shifted toward you, slow and deliberate. For a moment, the world seemed to stop.
His eyes met yours.
Just for a second, but it felt like an eternity. There was nothing in them. No spark. No recognition. Just an endless, blank void that swallowed every shred of comfort youād ever found in those eyes. Mydei had always been a rockāsteadfast, unwavering, a man you could trust without question. But now? The eyes staring back at you werenāt the same. They were distant, vacant. A shiver crept down your spine as the seconds stretched out between you. You felt it in the pit of your stomachāa weight, heavy and cold, pressing against your ribs, making it harder to breathe. His movements were too mechanical, too deliberate, his features frozen in a way that made your skin crawl.
And then, as though he was snapping back into place, he spoke. The words were cold, flat, devoid of the usual authority youād come to rely on. They hung in the air, hollow and strange, as if theyād been ripped from his mouth rather than formed with intent.
āLeave. Now.ā
The command was clear. It should have been enough. You should have been fine. But the voiceāit didnāt feel right. It didnāt carry that familiar weight, that subtle but undeniable presence that had always kept you steady in the most chaotic of moments. This was something else. Something distant. Mechanical. You nodded, the motion automatic, a reflex born of years of training. And you moved. You obeyed. Of course you did.
---
There was no squad to regroup with. It felt more like a funeral procession than a recovery mission. You limped your way through the remnants of the outpost, the echoes of gunfire still faintly lingering in the back of your mind. Every step was a reminder of the brutality of what had just happened, but somehow, nothing felt real. The stench of smoke and blood hung thick in the air, but there was an odd emptiness, too, as if the space itself had been hollowed out.
Radioing for evac, you could hear the static crackle, the distant hum of machinery trying to piece together the reality of what was unfolding. Silence slowly closed around the outpost againāan unnatural stillness that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Every corner seemed to hide something else. You couldn't shake the feeling that the land itself was holding its breath, waiting for something else to happen.
You reached the evac ship. They pulled you aboard, your body barely holding together, every muscle screaming as they wrapped your arm and pushed adrenaline through your veins. The world became a blur of flashing lights and the steady pulse of heartbeats, both yours and theirs, too loud in the confined space. The scent of antiseptic cut through the stale air, sharp and foreign. And when they asked you what happened, all the words in your throat turned to stone. Your mind scrambled, trying to make sense of what had just occurred, but the truthāthe truthāwas too twisted to spit out. How could you explain it? How could you tell them that Mydei had been broken and whole, shattered and moving, all at once?
So you lied.
///// 10 APR 2X25 /////
āYouāre saying the enemy forces ambushed your unit mid-recon?" Jing Yuan's voice was cool, methodical, and for the first time, his face was serious, sharpened, and guarded, "And you're saying only you and Lieutenant Mydei made it out?"
You gave a single, sharp nod. It wasnāt a full motion; more like a reflex. A response youād practicedātaught yourselfāto give when it was time to speak. The edge of your jaw ached as you clamped your mouth tight, resisting the urge to chew the words over. You didnāt let yourself breathe too deeply, didn't let your chest rise too much.
āYes, sir," you said, the words leaving your throat faster than you could stop them. "He didnāt go down.ā The lie felt heavier than it should, but you kept going. āMydei pushed through. Got me out. Thatās why Iām sitting here.ā
The room felt smaller now, the air thicker. You couldnāt see the sterile walls, the machines blinking faintly, or the dim blue glow of the overhead light without feeling a sense of suffocation. The medical bayās antiseptic smell of bleach and plastic seemed to crowd in around you, pressing on your temples, suffocating your thoughts. You tried to focus on the General's face, but all you saw were those memoriesāthe twisted image of Mydei standing, bleeding, unblinkingāand the words caught in your throat, threatening to spill out, to unravel everything.
Jing Yuanās gaze didnāt soften. If anything, it sharpened. The way his eyes lingered on you made your skin crawl, though you kept your posture straight. The silence stretched for a few seconds too long, but he didnāt break eye contact. Instead, he scribbled something down on his clipboard, the sharp sound of the pen against the paper like a gunshot in the stillness. The small movement seemed to draw his focus back to you, the weight of his stare pressing down harder than before.
āYouāre certain?ā His voice was just as calm, though now you could hear the subtle edge of doubt seeping through. He wasnāt asking because he thought you were lying. He was asking because he needed you to say it again. To make sure you were as certain as you claimed.
The temperature in the room seemed to dip lower. Your throat tightened, the heat of your earlier lie still clinging to your words. You swallowed, a dry, painful motion, "Yes, sir. Iām certain."
But the words felt hollow.
Jing Yuan didnāt respond right away. Instead, he leaned back in his chair, his expression unreadable. The dull hum of the lights, the beeping of machines, the faint shuffling of the medics behind youāit all seemed to fade into the background, as if this moment, this question, was the only thing left in the universe. He watched you too long after that. Pen tapping against the corner of the datasheet like he wanted the sound to dig into your skull.
"Are you sure there's something you don't want to tell me?" Jing Yuanās voice cuts through the silence once more. Heās set his pen down, fingers now laced together in a slow, deliberate motion. His chin rests on top of his hands, and his eyesāsharp, analyticalānever leave you. It's not just a question anymore. It's a statement, a challenge, an unspoken demand for truth.
In that moment, you feel it.
Something clicks into place inside you. Not loud. Not dramatic. But there, all the same. A shift. A decision. Solid. Unyielding. You swallow against the knot in your throat, the taste of steel creeping up again. Your pulse quickens, but you hold firm, your gaze steady despite the chaos still swirling in your chest.
Youāre not going to tell him. Not about what happened, not about the things youāve seen, not about Mydeiāabout what he had been, what he still was, even if no one else could understand it. You canāt. You won't. Because whatever Mydei was nowā¦ whatever the truth really was, in that moment, when the blood was thick in the air and the odds seemed impossible, heād still looked at you the same. Like a man who trusted you.
Still pulled you to your feet. Still saved your life.
If command ever found out ā if they started probing, picking apart every detail, treating Mydei like some kind of asset to be dissected and analyzed ā you didnāt know what would happen. And honestly, you didnāt want to know. The thought of them poking and prodding at something that, in your mind, still felt like your responsibility.
āā¦He saved me,ā you said, the words slipping out with a finality you hadn't expected, "Thatās all that matters."
Jing Yuan didnāt flinch. Didnāt look away. He studied your face, and his eyes narrowed just enough to make you feel like he was weighing the truth in you ā maybe seeing something you werenāt saying, some subtle shift behind your words. He didnāt press, though. Not this time. He didnāt call your bluff, even though the tension between you seemed to thicken. Maybe it was the paperwork he was avoiding, or maybe there was something else in the way he was reading you.
Maybe ā deep down ā he already knew what you were protecting.
The click of his pen as it snapped shut felt like a verdict, sealing this moment, the weight of unspoken words between you both.
āDismissed.ā
Anaxa
Alogon (į¼Ī»ĪæĪ³ĪæĪ½ / A-logos) ā A concept meaning āwithout reasonā or āirrational.ā.
[ "The performance of life, too, must eventually reach the curtain call." ]
āThe students this year are all cotton-brained and leaking spinal fluid from their ears.ā
āGood morning to you too, Doctor.ā
Veritasābetter known as Dr. Ratioābarely glances up at your snarky quip, probably because he gets more than enough sass from a certain blond-haired man who lives to test his patience. He pulls the staff chair across from you and takes a seat, already holding a stack of papers dripping with red ink.
Ouch. Those poor students. It must be their first classāthereās a whole checklist of requirements just to qualify for Ratioās lectures, and even then, half of them probably walked in thinking they were smarter than they are. You recognize the pattern: wide eyes, overconfidence, and the slow withering of hope by the second week.
āItās the first week. I think itās fair to give everyone at least one morning of rest before they hit the ground running,ā you hum, poking at your lunch. The colder mornings have been killing your appetite latelyāeverything tastes like cardboard and regretābut with Veritas parked across from you, you doubt youāll get the chance to sneak off to the coffee machine without earning one of his patented glances. Not all of us are built like a brick house, Doctor. Seriously, what does he even need all those muscles for? Shoving copy machines? Launching chalk at students like bullets?
āIf youāre that lax with students on the first day, theyāll take it as the standard and stay complacent forever,ā Veritas says, crossing his arms in that dramatic, exasperated way of his. You can practically hear the quotation marks around the philosophical nonsense he just dropped. Then he levels you with a stare, āDo you even have your syllabus completed?ā
Ahācaught. Better to look the other way; it makes that infamous glare feel a little less like walking barefoot over spikes and thorns.
āYou always did leave things for the last minute.ā
Veritasās gaze shifts past your shoulder just as the sharp, deliberate click of heeled boots echoes across the staff room floor.
āAnaxagoras,ā Veritas greets, tone flat but unmistakably acknowledging.
āVeritas,ā Anaxa replies just as evenly, as if theyāre exchanging chess moves instead of pleasantries.
The staff room hums with quiet tension, the only sound the faint, rhythmic scratching of Veritasās pen carving through a stack of papers. His eyes flick up, catching you in a glance before passing over, āStill treating clocks like polite suggestions instead of hard rules.ā
Anaxa responded with a casual shrug, slow and unconcerned, as if the concept of time were an amusing joke meant for someone else. A faint flicker of amusement played at the corner of his eyes when they met Veritasāsāa subtle challenge cloaked in indifference, āDidnāt realize I was missed.ā
āYou werenāt. But your absence was certainly quieter,ā Veritas didnāt look away this time. He flipped a page with a crisp snap that punctuated the silence, the red ink staining the margins like fresh woundsāharsh and unforgiving. You couldnāt help but think the only reason these two tolerated each other was because Veritas was one of the few who actually used his full name.
"Alright, ladies, you're both beautiful. How about we settle down now?" you laugh easily, getting matching frowns from the two men.
Itās a nice morning, and the first day of classes unfolds in its usual slow, methodical rhythm. The staff room isnāt crowdedāno one scrambling over the microwave, no complaints about the eternally broken coffee machine thatās been out of order as long as youāve worked at Paperfold University. The hum of distant footsteps and low murmurs barely fill the space. Nearby, your closest work colleague and Anaxa exchange words under the thinnest, debatably professional pretensesāhalf casual banter, half veiled challenge. Their voices are low, as if the room itself is holding its breath.
Yes, everything feels normal. As it should. Right down to the man you mourned all summer, sitting across from you like he never leftālike the months since his death never happened, and nothing has changed.
[ I gained inspiration from death, and should repay as such. ]
Grief is sticky, like humidity.
You stand at the podium, gripping your notecards upside down, your fingers trembling just slightly. Youāre wearing black this morning. Sunlight filters through the stained-glass windows, splashing shards of color across the roomābut stabbing your eyes with its brightness. Everything feels soft and warm. Outside, summer rages onāthe kind of summer Anaxa hated: sweltering, sticky, and alive with the relentless chorus of cars honking, buzzing in the heat.
āAnaxagoras was my best friend,ā you begin, your voice barely more than a whisper.
That part is true. You were four when you picked up a smooth stone and threw it at the bully who called a boy a ānerdā for asking why lizards couldnāt fly. The question had seemed strange then, but you didnāt careābecause even at that age, you knew some things deserved defending.
You were twelve when you watched from the back of the classroom as that same boy got kicked out for questioning a classmateās religious beliefs. Youād snickered with the others, trying to be liked and avoid being ostracized, hiding the sting in your chest behind a half-smile.
At sixteen, you found yourself scribbling his name in the margins of your notebooksāsmall marks of presence, of connection, when words felt too fragile.
At twenty-one, it hit you with the sharp clarity of a late winter morning: the shape of your misery perfectly mirrored the shape of your love, and if he ever left, both would hollow out the same space inside you.
You are thirty-one now.
Anaxa lies in a coffin.
Around him, asphodels and myrtles are arranged with quiet care. The white flowers lend an impossible purity to the man who was anything but pure.
The single red pomegranate flower clutched in his hands only makes the stillness feel lonelier.
You donāt remember the rest of the speech. The words blur and fade into a dull hum beneath polite clapping. Aglaea squeezes your hand gently in the aisleāsteady, grounding. The coffin lowers slowly, like a magic trick in reverse: now you see him, now you donāt. Faces around you crumble into tears, but you sit still, the weight of everyone elseās grief pressing down. Not that you donāt feel itāyou do. You just donāt cry. Not yet. Instead, your fingers crush the cold metal of the ring he slipped onto your fingerāthe only thing keeping you afloat. Because if you let go, you know the scream trapped inside you would tear everything apart.
You donāt cry until three days later.
Youāre curled up on the cold bathroom floor, wrapped in Anaxaās ridiculous lizard onesieāthe one he never wanted to admit he liked the most. His room has become a museum of ghostsānot the kind that haunt, but the kind that linger in memories. Chipped coffee mugs left half-full. An unfinished book on Yaldabaoth, the bookmark still folded into its pages. A burnt-out candle, faintly scented with juniper and smoke. The old flip phone, blinking with an unread message from you, frozen in time, waiting for a reply that will never come.
And then heās standing there in your hallway. Paler than you rememberāalmost translucentāhis skin stretched tight over sharp cheekbones. Skinnier, as if life itself has been siphoned from him. One eye hidden behind a patch, the other sharp and watchful. Still taller than you, looming despite his fragility. And that smileāwide, too wide; full of teeth. But itās not the smile you once knew. It doesnāt reach his one remaining eye, which flickers with something unreadable.
You donāt scream. You donāt even flinch. Your breath catches, and your eyes blink slowly, disbelieving.
āAnaxagoras?ā
āIn the flesh,ā he says, his voice low but familiar, almost teasing. He steps forward with unsettling calm.
You want to shout at him: Youāre dead. I watched them lower your body into the dirt. I still have that gaudy black-and-white capelet that I hated so much. I wear it when Iām alone, like a fragile shieldālike some broken, abandoned thing.
Instead, you say:
[ I am incredibly happy now. ]
Veritas was right. The students this year are performing far below average. Youāre not sure how half of them even managed to submit their applications, let alone meet the qualifications. During one lecture, you thought you overheard a girl whispering to her seatmate, nervously asking for advice on how to take proper notes, as if that were some foreign concept. Itās reached the point where you find yourself bending the usual boundaries between professor and student, nudging and prodding more than you probably should, because youāre genuinely worried some of them might just roll over and pass out under the pressure. Your lectures and labs are mostly in the mornings, and while at least one student usually answers back to your cheerful āGood morning!ā, the majority shuffle in like half-brained zombies. Their glazed eyes stare blankly ahead, as if their spines were leaking fluid that numbs their senses, and they meander toward the nearest seat with all the energy of a fading candle. You suppress a sigh. This wonāt flyāthereās a teacher conference next week, and youāre already drafting your points in your head.
āYou think loudly.ā
You blink, shaken out of your spiral, and glance to the side. Thereās Anaxaāyour dead husband, a truth you have to repeat to yourself over and overāsitting there, relaxed and almost casual, behind the wheel as snowflakes drift lazily past the window. In the overexposed gray light filtering through the windshield, his skin looks even paler and malnourished: the kind of white you see before blindness, the light inside a star just before it collapses.
āJust thinking about what Veritas said is allā¦ā Your voice trails off as your thoughts drift away again. Your mind screams at you to be afraid. To recoil. To run. Because what youāre seeing defies everything you know about life and death. A corpseāyour husbandās corpseāis supposed to lie six feet underground, wrapped in linen and wood, cold and silent. But here he is instead, breathing, blinking, alive, driving you both home through the thickening snow.
āVeritas always has a way of making things sound more incontestable than they are,ā Anaxaās eyes flicker toward you from the driverās seat, calm and unreadable behind his half-lidded gaze. You grip the edge of the seat, willing yourself to stay grounded. You are not hallucinating. You are not dreaming. You are not losing your mind. You believe in the science of dreams, in the logic of REM sleep cyclesābut this feels like neither.
You glance at him, the weight of your thoughts pressing down, āItās not incontestable. Youāve seen the students... everyone acts like theyāre on autopilot. Iām concerned.ā
He smirksāa slow, almost lazy curve of his lips that doesnāt quite reach his one good eye, āLifeās exhausting, isnāt it? Especially when people keep insisting on making it harder.ā
You remember the nightmare you never wanted to relive: the shrill ring of your phone during lecture, the way your heart dropped as you answered, the trembling voice on the other end delivering the worst newsāthe news that your husband was dying.
āThat sounds like something youād say just to avoid talking about what really matters,ā you almost laugh, though it comes out as a breathy exhale.
You left the classroom without a word, your studentsā confused whispers fading behind you as you raced through rain-slicked roads. You reached the hospital, breathless and trembling, only to be told the truth you could barely faceāhe didnāt make it. You remember standing there, frozen, clutching the ringāthe only piece of him left in your grasp. And now, as your eyes meet his in the car, a strange mix of fear, disbelief, and something darker curls in your chest. Heās here. Alive.
Anaxa shrugs, his eyes briefly glinting with amusement, āMaybe. Or maybe itās because Iāve learned that sometimes, talking about it doesnāt make it better. Just louder.ā
The car hums along, tires crunching softly over the snow.
[ Do not fear blasphemyā ]
Winter has made the house feel colder than it should, even with the heater murmuring steadily in the corner. The radio plays a song about āPenroseāāsomething youāve never heard before. You shift in your chair, the wooden legs creaking against the floorboards. Your hands are stiff from clutching the fork and knife too tightly, and your plate glares back with its bland stir-fry of wilting vegetables and reheated rice. Thrown together from whatever you could salvage from the fridge, it tastes like nothing. A purely functional meal.
Across the table, Anaxa sits in silence. He eats slowly, chewing each bite with mechanical precision. The overhead light is harshāit spills over him, casting every sharp angle into stark relief. Hollow cheeks. Gaunt skin. The eyepatch still wound tightly around his headāthe same fraying strip of white cloth heās worn since he came back. It might have once been clean, but it isnāt anymore. Youāve offered him fresh fabric, but he always declines. His ribs show even through the oversized sweaterāsomething you used to wear. His collarbones jut out like theyāve been carved from stone. Yet he chews, swallows, and raises the fork again. A small mercy, you think. Heās eating. He didnāt use to. You try not to stare, but itās hard not to. Not because of how strange he looks now, but because some part of you is still waitingāwaiting for him to twitch wrong. To move in a way no living man should. You hear your own breath more than his. Youāve been counting the seconds between each of his, unsure if thatās even necessary anymore.
He hasnāt said a word all evening.
Neither have you.
Not really.
You want to ask him a hundred questions, but your throat feels dry, words lodged somewhere between hope and fear. Instead, you settle for watching himāthe slow rise and fall of his chest, the shallow rhythm of his breath. The way his one visible eye blinks spreads tears across the eyeball, cleaning and moisturizing the surface. They arenāt dead or glazed over. In fact, they almost look brighter than before the accident.
He turns his head up slightly, just enough to meet your eyes from beneath the faint shadows cast by the kitchen light. His movements are slowādeliberateāas if lifting his gaze costs more than it used to.
āYouāve been watching me.ā
The words come out flat. Not accusing. Not defensive. A simple truth laid bareālike a bone left out in the snow. You nod once. Thereās no point pretending otherwise. No use untangling the silence with lies. His stare doesnāt break. It feels heavy, not with anger, but with knowledgeālike he already knows what youāve seen and is only asking to hear you admit it.
āYou donāt have to keep pretending,ā you say, voice even but low, āIām scared. But not of you.ā
He shifts; the creak of his chair sounds almost too loud. The overhead bulb flickers once, faint and insect-like. A flicker of somethingāsomething almost like a smile touches his lips.
āFunny,ā he says softly, āI never thought Iād be the one to terrify you.ā
You swallow hard; your mouth suddenly goes dry. The heater in the corner hums uselessly. The warmth it gives off doesnāt reach youānot here, not now. The room feels small, suffocating almost, as if the walls themselves are holding their breath. You shift in your seat, fingertips twitching against your knees, unsure whether to fold inward or reach across the table. You want to touch himāanchor yourself to whatās left of him. But something stops you: an invisible barrier you canāt quite name. His eye remains fixed on you, unblinking.
āWhy wonāt you take it off?ā you finally ask, your voice barely more than a whisper, āThe patch.ā
His eyes flicker away, dark lashes brushing his cheek, āSome things are better left hidden.ā
āBut itās been days,ā you press.
He doesnāt answer right away. Instead, he shifts, the thin fabric slipping slightly to reveal the gaunt outline of his collarbone beneath the threadbare shirt. The sight makes your chest tightenāin that awful, breathless way you still havenāt learned to control.
āOne step at a time,ā he says at last.
The clock ticks loudly in the silence, each second stretched thin, taut as wire and just as ready to snap. You glance at the eyepatch, at the knot securing it in place, and your breath catches. You know the truth is waiting beneath itāsilent, patient, watchingāuntil the moment youāre brave enough, or desperate enough, to look.
[ It is already a sin to transcend the gods, so what if you become a god!" ]
You never meant to open Pandoraās box.
Okayāmaybe you did. A little.
But it was coming from a place of concern. People are supposed to take care of their eye sockets, especially when one of them is hidden beneath that ratty white eyepatch. He never takes it off. Not when he showers. Not when he sleeps. Not even when the faintest flicker of movement catches your eyeāsomething writhing, alive, beneath the fragile fabric like a restless parasite. You tried to convince yourself it was your imagination, a trick of shadows and exhaustion. But the truth gnaws at you like a bone you canāt stop gnawing. You remember the first time you noticed it: a barely perceptible twitch beneath the fabric, a faint pulse that didnāt match any normal heartbeat. It made your skin crawl. You wanted to ask. You wanted to pry and demand answers. But Anaxaās eyesāwell, the one you could seeāalways held that same apathetic calm, as if whatever was happening underneath didnāt bother him one bit.
You told yourself: If itās infected, he could die. Again.
You told yourself: Itās not Anaxa. Not really. Not entirely.
But also: What if it is? You'll be alone again.
Itās 2:59 a.m. The air conditioner hums softly, its steady drone blending with the distant wind sweeping the remaining dead leaves, like a restless insect trapped in the night. Heās stretched out on the bed, limbs loose and limp like a scarecrow abandoned in a forgotten field. The thin sheet draped over him barely reaches his chest; now heās wrapped in twice as many layers, the winter wonderland outside reflecting through the window. His breathing is shallow, too even, too controlledāa carefully rehearsed performance. You move cautiously, the worn socks you borrowed muffling your steps on the creaky floorboards. Your heart pounds violently against your ribs, threatening to break free and leave you behind.
You kneel beside the futon, every muscle tense, every breath caught.
Your hand hovers, hesitant, trembling slightly as it reaches out.
The eyepatchāfrayed and stained from too many nightsāclings to his face, held by a crude knot tied at the back of his head. You tug gently, careful not to wake him, just enough to loosen the fabric, just enough to lift the edge.
Just enough to seeā
āThatās not polite.ā
You freeze.
The voice is low, dryāsmooth like cracked leather. Not angry. Not startled. Justā¦ amused. You glance up, meeting his one exposed eye, which glints faintly in the dark, alive with that same crooked humor you thought youād lost forever
"To know it is to cease to know. To see it is to never see again in straight lines."
Your breath catches, the air growing inexplicably colder as shadows stretch and twist, reaching toward you with silent hunger. You remain frozen, unable to tear your gaze away, even as the patch slips from your fingers, compelled by some unseen forceābeckoning you to witness what lies beneath.
And then you see it.
Not an eye.
An abyss yawns open where one should be.
A hollow carved impossibly deep, devoid of blood or bone. Pure emptinessāan endless void swallowed in darkness darker than night itselfāa cavernous gulf where life should have been. That void shifts, inhales, and exhales with a slow, unnatural rhythm, as if breathing with a life all its own. Within the darkness, something coils and writhes, its shape fluid and ominous, like smoke caught in a slow storm.
Then, without warning, it turns its gaze toward you. The abyss looks backāits presence a heavy weight pressing deep into your bones, a silent promise of secrets too vast to comprehend. A color out of space.
āSo youāre the reason he clings to this meat. How unexpected.ā
The voice is curious. Not cruel. Not kind. You want to say somethingāanything. But all you can do is stare into the depths where his eye should be and feel it stare back. Your hands tremble, but you havenāt screamed yet. Youāre not running either.
āThis body remembers your voice. It twitches when you laugh. It cried when you touched it.ā
And then, Anaxa blinks. The patch is back in place. You donāt remember putting it there.
He exhalesāslowly, tired.
āI was hoping you wouldnāt look,ā he says. The real him, or something close enough.
You swallow hard.
Because despite this impostor pretending to be your Anaxa, you feelā¦ relieved. You donāt have to stay stuck in the grieving widow phase for the rest of your life. You donāt have to endure the pitiful stares from everyone except Veritas. Most importantly, you donāt have to imagine what your life would be like without Anaxaābecause heās here, in some form. Even if heās lost the muscles in his arms, even if you can practically see his ribs beneath the heavy layers of clothing, his face sunken and hollow.
āYou should clean that,ā you whisper.
āItās not infected,ā he says.
āIt could be.ā
He laughsāquiet, rough. Close enough.
āAnd youāre not afraid?ā
You study himāthe hollow cheeks sunken deeper than you remember, skin so white it makes you think of hospital tiles and the static noise between radio stations. His thin frame barely fills out the threadbare clothes. He looks like a ghost tethered to this worldāsomeone who died but didnāt quite come back right.
Still, your voice is steady when you say, āNo. You came back. Thatās enough.ā
The room holds its breath. Silence stretches, heavy and suffocatingālike the space between heartbeats. Then, slowly, almost painfully, he turns to face you. His eyesāone real, one an empty voidāsearch yours, as if trying to remember how to exist in this fragile body again.
āYouāre either very brave,ā the thing inside him murmurs, voice low and rough, āor very foolish.ā
The clockās hands donāt move, but the ticking continuesāas if counting something else entirely. Your hand moves on its own, reaching out to his. The coldness of his skin prickles against your palm, a reminder of everything lost and everything still somehow here. Itās cold. But it squeezes back.
[ ā One of the echoes in Anaxa's memories after the Grove had fallen, which vanished because nobody discovered it. ]
---
*slaps this fic* And that's a wrap! Thank you once again for commissioning me and for being so patient. I hope you all enjoyed this.
I don't want to clog this already long fic up too much, so below I've only written research/references in order of appearance. If you're interested in the writing/thought process, I'll be reblogging this with further notes.
Cut Content/Writing Process Note: Here
---
Golden Apple
It is most famously associated with the Apple of Discord, which represents:
Conflict born from vanity or favoritism (since it was labeled "To the fairest")
The catalyst for larger consequences (such as the Trojan War)
Temptation and choice (as seen in Paris having to decide which goddess deserved the apple)
Phainon
Daimon
In ancient Greece, it was believed that each person had a personal daimon, assigned at birth or death, which influenced their fate and guided them during crucial moments. The daimon didnāt dictate actions, but acted as a subtle force, especially in times of crisis or important decisions.
Socrates famously spoke of his daimonion, a divine voice that warned him against certain actions but never told him what to do. As he put it in Platoās Apology: āThe sign is a voice which comes to me and always forbids me to do something which I am going to do, but never commands me to do anything.ā
In Plato's Republic and Timaeus, daimones are described as mediators of fate, guiding souls in their choices and destinies, ensuring a cosmic balance without direct interference in individual decisions.
Voicelines
While not directly stated in the fic, these are the voice lines that stuck when writing this particular Phainon:
"Accepting others' wishes and turning them into his own wishes ā not all heroes are such blank canvases as him, and that is why the world places such great hopes on him." - Aglaea
"Lord Phainon is kind and friendly to all his companions, but there's always a sliver of pain in his smile... He must have lost something very dear to him." - Hyacine
"Snowy... It always feels like he's carrying too much. Not just his own wishes but also the hatred and expectations of others... Though we all have our own missions, I still get worried... Bearing everything alone is not a good habit." - Tribbie
Symbolism in Numbers (Act + Scene Numbers)
1 (Monad) - Unity, origin, the divine, the source of all things.
10 (Decad) - Totality, divine perfection, return to unity (1+0=1).
Butterfly (The neon sign in the beginning)
The butterfly was often used as a symbol for the soul or daemon, especially in art. Psyche, the Greek word for "soul," is sometimes personified with butterfly wings.
Masks
A symbol of duality or hidden truths. Daemons could "wear" personas or guide others through identity.
Phainon's Greek Name
Phaenon (PhaĆnÅn / Ī¦Ī±ĪÆĪ½ĻĪ½) derives from the Ancient Greek verb ĻĪ±ĪÆĪ½Ļ phaĆnÅ, meaning "to shine." The form ĻĪ±ĪÆĪ½ĻĪ½ phaĆnÅn is its present participle, meaning "the one who shines."
Crescent Moon (Stroke of luck during filming)
In various cultures, the moon is linked with divine protection, especially maternal or lunar goddesses like Artemis.
"Is it so wrong...to have a little hope?" (Phainon's reasoning to Gallagher)
[ "That person alone will witness the miracle" doesn't sound like a good ending, does it? Why did everyone choose to become demigods even after knowing the price? ]
-(excerpt from Phainon's text messages to the Trailblazer)
Mydei
Apotheosis
While the Olympian gods are immortal by nature, apotheosis suggests a pathway to immortality for mortals. Some famous Greek examples are Heracles and Psyche.
My knowledge of the military is incredibly low, so if there are any inconsistencies, please ignore them. I'm trying my best. I did try to get some of my facts straight, but I used U.S military as a guideline since that's the one I'm most familiar with. My Google searches were wild on this one, baby.
Military Report (I put a lot of effort into it, you people need to know this)
Report # - 0319 (Mydei's release banner date) Amphoreous / Castrum Kremnos (CK)
Date - Mydei's banner end date
Time - Version 3.1 (Mydei's banner release version)
Associated Personnel: Lionheart (Taken from his banner's event name "Fiery Lionheart")
Casualties KIA: Taken from the past NPCs from Kremnos (specifically the ones that were warriors)
Trig/Trigger (Reader's Call Sign)
A call sign is a unique identifier, often a nickname, used to identify a unit or individual during radio communications. Personal Callsigns are generally given by members in your unit when you do something that makes you stand out, be it good or bad.
I'm not gonna lie. I needed to have some term to use to refer to reader, and my friend is in love with Trigger from Hoyo's other game, ZZZ. This one's for you (I hope you never find my tumblr)
Time Line
U.S. Task Forces / Special Ops (e.g., Delta Force, SEALs, JSOC Task Forces)
Minimum Time in Service: 2ā4 years, usually, depending on MOS (military occupational specialty).
Total Time: 4ā7 years on average, but again, fast-tracking is possible for exceptional performance, critical skillsets (e.g., languages, cyber, demolitions), or under urgent need.
Recording Equipment (Corporal asking why there was a shutdown)
Special Operations typically don't use body cams since their missions are highly classified. But they might use recording equipment if it's for training, target observation, or accountability-driven operations (e.g., raids with media or political oversight).
In most modern military systems, cutting off or tampering with communication or recording equipment can often be detected, logged, or at the very least suspected, depending on the gear and the system it's connected to.
"Green"
In the military, when someone is described as "green," it means they are new, inexperienced, or untested ā often fresh out of training and just starting in the field. Usually considered "green" for 6 months to a year, or until they've had real combat exposure.
Anaxa
Alogon
Anaxa's prompt wasnāt directly inspired by Greek culture or mythology. The basic premise was to portray him as a cosmic horror parasite, and the closest parallel I found was the concept of the āAlogon.ā (So no, unfortunately, there aren't any eldritch H.P. Lovecraft entities in Greek. Honestly, I think I went more domestic horror.)
In Orphic mythology, the term alogon [ Ļį½ø į¼Ī»ĪæĪ³ĪæĪ½ (a-logos) ] āmeaning āirrationalā or āwithout reasonāāis not a distinct deity or mythological entity, but a philosophical concept representing the chaotic, unformed state of existence prior to creation. It serves as a symbolic contrast to Phanes (also known as Protogonos), the primordial being who emerged from the cosmic egg at the dawn of time. Phanes introduced light, reason, and structure into the universe, transforming the alogon into an ordered cosmos.
Quotes
The first quote line is from Anaxa's lightcone, "Life Should Be Cast to Flames." The rest is what was written in Anaxa's character story, part IV.
Asphodels, myrtles, and pomegranate flowers (The flowers in Anaxa's coffin)
Aspodels: Considered the "death flower" by the Greeks, believed to be the flower of the afterlife
Myrtle: This plant was a symbol of eternity and was often used in funerary arrangements.
Pomegranate Flower: Tied deeply to Persephone, who ate pomegranate seeds in the underworld and is forced to return each year, creating the seasons.
The passing of seasons (Persephone)
Persephone, daughter of Demeter (goddess of the harvest), was abducted by Hades and taken to the Underworld. Grieving, Demeter caused the Earth to wither, bringing on winter. When Persephone was allowed to return, life bloomed againāspring and summer. But because she ate pomegranate seeds in the Underworld, she had to return each year, leading to autumn and winter.
Yaldabaoth (The half-finished book Anaxa left behind)
Also known as Ialdabaoth or Jaldabaoth, Yaldabaoth is a central figure in Gnostic theology, depicted as a false creator who traps souls within the material world.
Juniper (The candle scent Anaxa left behind)
A genus of coniferous trees and shrubs, most notably known for its berries used in gin. Used in purification and protective rituals, especially in ancient Greek and Roman practices.
Penrose (The name of the song on the radio station)
The name "Penrose" is from the Penrose Triangle and Stairs. Two famous impossible objects.
Pandora's Box
A myth from Greek mythology where Pandora, the first woman, was given a sealed jar (later called a box) and told not to open it. Curiosity got the better of her, and when she opened it, all the evils of the world escapedāleaving only Hope inside. It explains the origin of suffering in the world.
2:59 am (The time reader goes to remove Anaxa's eyepatch)
Hecateās hour is traditionally considered to be between midnight and 3 a.m., often called the witching hour or the hour of the night witch. This time is associated with magic, spirits, and the supernaturalāwhen Hecate, the Greek goddess of magic, crossroads, and the underworld, is believed to be most powerful and present. In folklore and later occult traditions, this period is thought to be when the veil between worlds is thinnest, making it a prime time for rituals, visions, and encounters with otherworldly forces.
"A colour out of space." (The void in Anaxa's eye)
A reference to Lovecraft's "The Colour Out of Space" for my literature fans.
Fun Fact: That line about a girl asking how to take proper notes is real. I was the seatmate.
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Hello I have been consumed by the ifaron to the point I wrote a multichapter fic and adittional oneshot over the course of like a week, I'm not asking anything I just want to inform you because I am literally telling everyone and now you're in this too!!!
I gen have no fucking idea WHY the pairing has ressonated with my soul, but I am here, bury me here when I die
Lucky (Who has finally graduated)
CONGRATS LUCKY!!! YOU'RE FINALLY OUT (unless you're doing a masters/phd in which case, holy fuck i pray for you)
Okay, im uncultured and I haven't really touched the event/main story so I'm not sure how ifaron even happened or like...what it's even about? Is this another boothill/argenti thing where fans just kinda said, hmm these two are hot and i wanna see them kiss. and then hoyo just willed it and let them interact. Cause ifaron is cute, I just don't know where it came from and I'm really hoping the fans just willed it into existence.
Also, tells me you wrote a fic and doesn't even provide the link. How could you do this to me, of course I wanna read it.
got hit by apollo's dodgeball of prophecy four years ago and didn't even know it...........
Holy fuck I'm rising from the dead again. Look, I'm gonna preface this by saying that first, excellent seer powers. I like that even tho its been four years, genshin hasn't forgotten about their established lore even if it took awhile. Having said that, possible spoilers below
I need to say this with my whole chest: Iām getting so annoyed at HoYo and their game trailer reveal bullshit. We get these super hyped moments in the trailers and then when the actual story drops? We get served NOTHING. You go girl, give us nothing.
I was honestly losing interest in Genshin for a while, but then the story trailer dropped with Albedo, and woweeāsuddenly Iām excited again?? I get to see Diluc and Kaeya fight side by side?? The water dragon gets stabbed???
Ohā¦ so itās a fade to black and I donāt even get to see them fight? In fact, the entire trailer was the in-game cutscene. The water dragon thing? Literally just Paimon reading a newspaper headlineāand thatās it??? Holy shit. Iām gonna uninstall this game for Silver Palace. At least I can drift with a horse there.
PENGU. I AM RUNNING. BACK TO MONDSTADT. TO DEFEND MY HUSBAND IN COURT
fr tho I haven't touched genshin in literally a year but then my friend who still plays the game told me Albedo was going on trial for murder and I naruto ran back to the game
in his defense your honor he looked really hot while doing it........
YOOO I saw that reveal trailer thumbnail and nearly tripped over the play buttonāWHAT DO YOU MEAN ALBEDO IS BACK??? GO GIRL, BURN DOWN MONDSTADT!!!
This always happens. Just when I finally decide to quit a gacha, they drag me back in with the best character imaginable. I was originally going to roll for Lighter in ZZZ and then quit, but then Harumasa droppedāFOR FREE, BY THE WAY. And now, with Genshin, I was planning to roll for Ifa and dip, but ALBEDO storms through the door, and suddenly I'm locked back in.
Hoyo saw the player base slipping and pulled the emergency lore lever. What do you mean I get to see Diluc and Kaeya fight side by side???
ā You receive a text message one day that reads, 'Your boyfriend's cheating on you.'
ā Phainon, Aventurine, Dan Heng + Blade
[Masterlist]
This isn't angst I swear. We don't write angst on this blog (occasionally). Please don't take this too seriously, tyvm.
Phainon
You read the message once, your eyes scanning the words, āYour boyfriendās cheating on you,ā with a mix of disbelief and amusement. A quick flick of your thumb, and the sender is reported as spam and promptly blocked. Cheating, huh? The thought barely registers before you canāt help but smile. The idea of Phainonāof all peopleāengaging in something as mundane as infidelity is laughable. You stifle the laugh, trying not to disturb the pillow beneath you. Itās a warm, familiar weight, his arm draped lazily over the dip in your waist. Heās still asleep, the slow, steady rhythm of his breathing the only sound in the room, his hair mussed from sleep, a stray lock falling over his eyes. You catch yourself watching him for a moment, a soft chuckle escaping as you think of the stupidity of the message. The only thing Phainon is "cheating" at is at life for being effortlessly pretty no matter the setting.
You move to sit up, but the dull ache in your back makes you wince, a reminder of how long youāve been lying in the same position. As soon as you shift, Phainonās face scrunches up, and he lets out a quiet, almost imperceptible groan of discomfort. His hand instinctively reaches toward the space where you had been resting, brushing over his chest as if expecting to find you there. His fingers lightly graze over the soft fabric of the blanket, but when he doesnāt feel the solid warmth of your presence, his hand starts to wander, searching aimlessly across the bed. He shifts, his eyes barely open, heavy with sleep, yet his expression holds a mix of confusion and mild irritation, as if heās not quite sure why youāre not there.
His fingers flex in the air, like he's trying to pull you back with just a gentle grasp. The movement is slow and languid, a sleepy sort of desperation in his touch. His gaze flickers toward where you were lying, and for a moment, he looks like he might drift back to sleep, but then his eyes focus on you, clearly irritated by the interruption to his morning routine. Still, underneath the grumpiness, there's a softness to itāan unspoken yearning for you to be there with him, the kind of vulnerability he doesn't usually show when he's fully awake. It's as if heās not quite ready to face the day without the comfort of your presence by his side.
"Come backkkk," he whines, his voice thick and sluggish, still wrapped in the warmth of sleep. The words tumble out lazily, like he's half in a dream, and it makes you smile despite the situation.
You think back on the message again. Cheating, huh? Yeah right. You can't help but shake your head at the silliness of it all. Itās hard to even take it seriously when Phainon is clinging to you like this, completely oblivious to anything but you. If he knew about that message, heād probably just laugh, but right now, itās clear his only concern is you being glued to him. With the weight of his hand still reaching for you, his grogginess is almost endearing, and you canāt help but feel a little lighter, a little amused. How could anyone even think heād be unfaithful when he acts like this? Itās almost like heās a child in need of comfort, his normally sharp demeanor dulled by sleep and a simple desire for your closeness. The message doesnāt seem to matter now. Youāre not going anywhere.
Aventurine
You blink at the text that flashes on your phone screen, reading it twice to make sure you're not imagining things. The bold, slightly aggressive tone of the message makes your eyebrows furrow in petty amusement. Looking up, you see Aventurine casually shuffling a deck of cards with the kind of ease that comes from years of practice, his fingers flicking each card as if it's second nature. A mischievous glint dances in his eyes as he flips each card with a flourish, the soft sound of laminated card stock brushing against each other filling the quiet room. His focus is entirely on the game he's playing with himself, his brow furrowed slightly as he concentrates. Even when the next card reveals a joker, the corner of his lips twitches upward in satisfaction. Itās almost as if the world could be burning around him, and heād still be unfazedāexcept when it comes to cards. Thatās the only game he should be cheating at, you think with a smirk.
"Hey, I know you've got a not-so-subtle thing for Dr. Ratio, but if you seriously leave me for him, I'll kill you."
The next card stutters and flies off the table as Aventurineās head snaps up, his eyes widening for a split second. Good. Bafflement looks good on him. You can feel the corner of your lips twitch as you try to suppress a smile, so instead, you hold your phone up to your lips, pretending to innocently read the message, though the sound of your muffled snickers betrays your amusement.
Aventurine stares at you, his shock quickly replaced by a teasing smirk, āDo you think so lowly of me?ā
His voice is light, but laced with mock offense. His expression is still a bit off-kilter as he leans back, resting his arm across the table, and presses his cheek against it, propping his head up with a casual ease. He looks at you sideways, his eyes narrowing in playful challenge, as if heās trying to gauge whether youāre serious or just messing with him.
"Yeah, I'll make sure they never find your body. Then, I'll go seduce Ratio to make sure youāre rolling in your grave," you say, your voice dripping with honey sweetness, the words lingering in the air like a venomous lullaby. You lean back in your chair, a playful glint in your eyes as you let the threat hang, watching Aventurine's reaction. Your tone is teasing, but there's an edge to it that makes it impossible to fully tell if you're joking or not.
Aventurineās eyes narrow, the corners of his lips curling into a slow, dangerous grin, his amusement clear. He doesnāt flinch, doesnāt blinkājust watches you with a cool, calculating gaze. The soft rustle of cards shuffling between his fingers fills the silence that follows, his movements deliberate, almost too smooth. His entire posture suggests heās unfazed, though there's something in the air that tells you heās far from it.
āYouāre getting bold,ā he mutters, his voice low, edged with a trace of amusement that dances in his tone. His fingers pause over a card, as if savoring the moment, "I guess Iāll have to keep an eye on you. Wouldnāt want you planning my demise too soon."
Dan Heng
You frown at the text before looking up, the words still lingering in your mind. Itās breakfast time for the entire Express crew, and the warmth of the morning has settled into the dining area. The table is filled with an eclectic spread of dishes, each one more unique than the last. Thereās a jar of sweet, amber-colored jam next to perfectly buttered toast, its golden crust promising a satisfying crunch. A bowl of congee steams softly beside century eggs, their dark, mottled shells cracked open to reveal the soft, translucent black eggs inside. The aroma of freshly brewed tea mingles with the milk and the clink of forks against plates fills the room in a gentle, rhythmic harmony. Itās a mundane yet content scene, one that, despite its simplicity, brings a sense of comfort and belonging to all who gather here.
"Dan Heng?"
"Yes?"
"Are you cheating on me?"
The table goes deathly silent, the clink of chopsticks and the soft murmur of conversation cease. Only the soft hum of the ship's engine breaks the tension. Everyoneās eyes dart between you and Dan Heng, the sudden question hanging in the air like a thick fog. Dan Heng's hand is mid-air, his chopsticks frozen, the bite of food he was about to take now forgotten. His gaze flickers up to meet yours, brow furrowed in confusion. Then, with a slow, deliberate movement, he places the chopsticks down, his full attention now on you.
"Never."
Itās a single word, but itās spoken with such firm, unshakable conviction that a sudden wave of embarrassment washes over you. The lingering weight of your question dissipates as if it had never been there in the first place, and youāre left feeling strangely silly for asking. You take a breath, feeling oddly lighter.
"Okay, just checking," you murmur, nodding with a small, sheepish smile, feeling the slightest hint of heat rise to your cheeks. You return your focus to your food, the question now a fleeting thought as you try to act like it was never even spoken. The smooth porcelain of your bowl feels comforting in your hands, grounding you back into the moment. And just like that, the world picks up where it left offāthe familiar clatter of chopsticks against bowls, the soft hum of casual chatter, the warmth of the morning sunlight spilling through the window, casting a soft glow on the table.
"Woah, woah, you can't just say that and pretend nothing happened!!" March slides in, a look of mock outrage dancing across her face as her eyes flicker between you and Dan Heng, clearly having sensed the shift in the air. You nonchalantly flip your phone over to show the group the text you received. The digital scrawl of accusation is there, glaring at everyone with its bold letters and insinuating tone. Before anyone can react, you swipe the screen, blocking the sender with a swift motion, sealing the conversation off.
"Dan Heng said he wasn't cheating. That's all I need. But, umā¦ sorryā¦ it just came out of nowhere, so I just blurted it out," you murmur, subtly hiding behind your bowl as if it could shield you from the attention now directed your way. The warmth of the ceramic is comforting against your hands, and you find yourself absentmindedly stirring the contents, hoping to distract yourself from the awkwardness of the moment. Your gaze flickers up, just enough to catch March's smirk and Dan Heng's steady, unbothered expression. The weight of the conversation feels lighter now, the tension having dissipated, but you're still acutely aware of the eyes on you.
"I mean, I trust him," you add quickly, trying to smooth over your slip, though the self-consciousness creeping into your voice betrays your attempts to act casual. March, ever the teasing spirit, grins wider, but her expression softens when she sees how genuinely flustered you are.
"Hey, no worries," she says with a playful wink, "we've all had those moments."
The reassurance brings a little ease to your shoulders, and you finally lower your bowl, feeling the heat of the moment start to fade, replaced by the gentle flow of conversation and the next adventure.
Blade
You stare down at the text message. It's from an unknown number, but considering who your boyfriend is, you're not really surprised. Blade can be terrifying when he wants to be. At first, you consider ignoring it. After all, if Blade seriously didn't like you anymore, heād make it obvious. He wouldn't send cryptic messages, you don't even think he knows how to, or play mind games. He'd be direct, like he always is. He'd say it to your faceātell you to leave him alone permanently, no strings attached. So cheating just doesnāt seem like his style, especially considering the effort it took just to worm your way into the corners of his heart. To think that after all that, heād start seeing someone else? Yeah, right. The whole idea feels almost... laughable. Then again, thereās a small, cynical part of you that wonders if that would be a green flag or a red one, given the context. Itās not that he doesnāt care about youāitās just that the thought of him cheating on you seems... inconvenient, rather than a calculated betrayal. Maybe thatās a good thing? Or maybe, you think bitterly, itās just the twisted reality of being with someone whoās as emotionally distant as he is.
You exhale a quiet breath, tossing the phone onto the bed beside you. The message still lingers in your mind like a weight, its implications gnawing at you despite your better judgment telling you to let it go. Blade isnāt the type to pull this kind of stunt. If anything, his indifference to emotionsāhis refusal to let anyone ināwould make any kind of infidelity pointless, wouldnāt it? You shake your head, trying to push the thought out of your mind.
"What did you read?"
You glance up, and you're not surprised to see himāthe man of the hourāleaning casually against the opposite wall. His eyes are closed, the dark shadows beneath them hinting at a sleepless night, arms crossed tightly over his chest. His sword, held close as if it's part of him, glints faintly in the dim light. The atmosphere shifts, the air thick with unspoken tension. Instead of answering, you walk over and slide between his legs, the space around you feeling charged as you come to a halt just inches from him.
"I don't care about your vendetta against that man," you say, voice low and deliberate, your hands lightly brushing his thighs as you settle into place, "But you're mine. All mine. Do you understand?"
His jaw clenches, his brows furrow slightly beneath his lashes, but he doesn't answer immediately. His gaze lingers on yours, sharp and intense, almost daring you to push further. He doesnāt answer right away, just watches you, his lips curling into a half-smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. You take a breath, your hands coming to rest at his waist, the space between you charged with an unspoken promise.
"Say it," you demand, voice dropping a notch lower, "or Iāll make sure you never get permission to die."
Thereās a flicker of something in his eyesāsomething that tells you heās heard the weight of your words. For a long moment, he says nothing. Then, with a slight tilt of his head, he leans in just enough to close the distance between you, his breath warm on your cheek.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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ā You receive a text message one day that reads, 'Your boyfriend's cheating on you.'
ā Phainon, Aventurine, Dan Heng + Blade
[Masterlist]
This isn't angst I swear. We don't write angst on this blog (occasionally). Please don't take this too seriously, tyvm.
Phainon
You read the message once, your eyes scanning the words, āYour boyfriendās cheating on you,ā with a mix of disbelief and amusement. A quick flick of your thumb, and the sender is reported as spam and promptly blocked. Cheating, huh? The thought barely registers before you canāt help but smile. The idea of Phainonāof all peopleāengaging in something as mundane as infidelity is laughable. You stifle the laugh, trying not to disturb the pillow beneath you. Itās a warm, familiar weight, his arm draped lazily over the dip in your waist. Heās still asleep, the slow, steady rhythm of his breathing the only sound in the room, his hair mussed from sleep, a stray lock falling over his eyes. You catch yourself watching him for a moment, a soft chuckle escaping as you think of the stupidity of the message. The only thing Phainon is "cheating" at is at life for being effortlessly pretty no matter the setting.
You move to sit up, but the dull ache in your back makes you wince, a reminder of how long youāve been lying in the same position. As soon as you shift, Phainonās face scrunches up, and he lets out a quiet, almost imperceptible groan of discomfort. His hand instinctively reaches toward the space where you had been resting, brushing over his chest as if expecting to find you there. His fingers lightly graze over the soft fabric of the blanket, but when he doesnāt feel the solid warmth of your presence, his hand starts to wander, searching aimlessly across the bed. He shifts, his eyes barely open, heavy with sleep, yet his expression holds a mix of confusion and mild irritation, as if heās not quite sure why youāre not there.
His fingers flex in the air, like he's trying to pull you back with just a gentle grasp. The movement is slow and languid, a sleepy sort of desperation in his touch. His gaze flickers toward where you were lying, and for a moment, he looks like he might drift back to sleep, but then his eyes focus on you, clearly irritated by the interruption to his morning routine. Still, underneath the grumpiness, there's a softness to itāan unspoken yearning for you to be there with him, the kind of vulnerability he doesn't usually show when he's fully awake. It's as if heās not quite ready to face the day without the comfort of your presence by his side.
"Come backkkk," he whines, his voice thick and sluggish, still wrapped in the warmth of sleep. The words tumble out lazily, like he's half in a dream, and it makes you smile despite the situation.
You think back on the message again. Cheating, huh? Yeah right. You can't help but shake your head at the silliness of it all. Itās hard to even take it seriously when Phainon is clinging to you like this, completely oblivious to anything but you. If he knew about that message, heād probably just laugh, but right now, itās clear his only concern is you being glued to him. With the weight of his hand still reaching for you, his grogginess is almost endearing, and you canāt help but feel a little lighter, a little amused. How could anyone even think heād be unfaithful when he acts like this? Itās almost like heās a child in need of comfort, his normally sharp demeanor dulled by sleep and a simple desire for your closeness. The message doesnāt seem to matter now. Youāre not going anywhere.
Aventurine
You blink at the text that flashes on your phone screen, reading it twice to make sure you're not imagining things. The bold, slightly aggressive tone of the message makes your eyebrows furrow in petty amusement. Looking up, you see Aventurine casually shuffling a deck of cards with the kind of ease that comes from years of practice, his fingers flicking each card as if it's second nature. A mischievous glint dances in his eyes as he flips each card with a flourish, the soft sound of laminated card stock brushing against each other filling the quiet room. His focus is entirely on the game he's playing with himself, his brow furrowed slightly as he concentrates. Even when the next card reveals a joker, the corner of his lips twitches upward in satisfaction. Itās almost as if the world could be burning around him, and heād still be unfazedāexcept when it comes to cards. Thatās the only game he should be cheating at, you think with a smirk.
"Hey, I know you've got a not-so-subtle thing for Dr. Ratio, but if you seriously leave me for him, I'll kill you."
The next card stutters and flies off the table as Aventurineās head snaps up, his eyes widening for a split second. Good. Bafflement looks good on him. You can feel the corner of your lips twitch as you try to suppress a smile, so instead, you hold your phone up to your lips, pretending to innocently read the message, though the sound of your muffled snickers betrays your amusement.
Aventurine stares at you, his shock quickly replaced by a teasing smirk, āDo you think so lowly of me?ā
His voice is light, but laced with mock offense. His expression is still a bit off-kilter as he leans back, resting his arm across the table, and presses his cheek against it, propping his head up with a casual ease. He looks at you sideways, his eyes narrowing in playful challenge, as if heās trying to gauge whether youāre serious or just messing with him.
"Yeah, I'll make sure they never find your body. Then, I'll go seduce Ratio to make sure youāre rolling in your grave," you say, your voice dripping with honey sweetness, the words lingering in the air like a venomous lullaby. You lean back in your chair, a playful glint in your eyes as you let the threat hang, watching Aventurine's reaction. Your tone is teasing, but there's an edge to it that makes it impossible to fully tell if you're joking or not.
Aventurineās eyes narrow, the corners of his lips curling into a slow, dangerous grin, his amusement clear. He doesnāt flinch, doesnāt blinkājust watches you with a cool, calculating gaze. The soft rustle of cards shuffling between his fingers fills the silence that follows, his movements deliberate, almost too smooth. His entire posture suggests heās unfazed, though there's something in the air that tells you heās far from it.
āYouāre getting bold,ā he mutters, his voice low, edged with a trace of amusement that dances in his tone. His fingers pause over a card, as if savoring the moment, "I guess Iāll have to keep an eye on you. Wouldnāt want you planning my demise too soon."
Dan Heng
You frown at the text before looking up, the words still lingering in your mind. Itās breakfast time for the entire Express crew, and the warmth of the morning has settled into the dining area. The table is filled with an eclectic spread of dishes, each one more unique than the last. Thereās a jar of sweet, amber-colored jam next to perfectly buttered toast, its golden crust promising a satisfying crunch. A bowl of congee steams softly beside century eggs, their dark, mottled shells cracked open to reveal the soft, translucent black eggs inside. The aroma of freshly brewed tea mingles with the milk and the clink of forks against plates fills the room in a gentle, rhythmic harmony. Itās a mundane yet content scene, one that, despite its simplicity, brings a sense of comfort and belonging to all who gather here.
"Dan Heng?"
"Yes?"
"Are you cheating on me?"
The table goes deathly silent, the clink of chopsticks and the soft murmur of conversation cease. Only the soft hum of the ship's engine breaks the tension. Everyoneās eyes dart between you and Dan Heng, the sudden question hanging in the air like a thick fog. Dan Heng's hand is mid-air, his chopsticks frozen, the bite of food he was about to take now forgotten. His gaze flickers up to meet yours, brow furrowed in confusion. Then, with a slow, deliberate movement, he places the chopsticks down, his full attention now on you.
"Never."
Itās a single word, but itās spoken with such firm, unshakable conviction that a sudden wave of embarrassment washes over you. The lingering weight of your question dissipates as if it had never been there in the first place, and youāre left feeling strangely silly for asking. You take a breath, feeling oddly lighter.
"Okay, just checking," you murmur, nodding with a small, sheepish smile, feeling the slightest hint of heat rise to your cheeks. You return your focus to your food, the question now a fleeting thought as you try to act like it was never even spoken. The smooth porcelain of your bowl feels comforting in your hands, grounding you back into the moment. And just like that, the world picks up where it left offāthe familiar clatter of chopsticks against bowls, the soft hum of casual chatter, the warmth of the morning sunlight spilling through the window, casting a soft glow on the table.
"Woah, woah, you can't just say that and pretend nothing happened!!" March slides in, a look of mock outrage dancing across her face as her eyes flicker between you and Dan Heng, clearly having sensed the shift in the air. You nonchalantly flip your phone over to show the group the text you received. The digital scrawl of accusation is there, glaring at everyone with its bold letters and insinuating tone. Before anyone can react, you swipe the screen, blocking the sender with a swift motion, sealing the conversation off.
"Dan Heng said he wasn't cheating. That's all I need. But, umā¦ sorryā¦ it just came out of nowhere, so I just blurted it out," you murmur, subtly hiding behind your bowl as if it could shield you from the attention now directed your way. The warmth of the ceramic is comforting against your hands, and you find yourself absentmindedly stirring the contents, hoping to distract yourself from the awkwardness of the moment. Your gaze flickers up, just enough to catch March's smirk and Dan Heng's steady, unbothered expression. The weight of the conversation feels lighter now, the tension having dissipated, but you're still acutely aware of the eyes on you.
"I mean, I trust him," you add quickly, trying to smooth over your slip, though the self-consciousness creeping into your voice betrays your attempts to act casual. March, ever the teasing spirit, grins wider, but her expression softens when she sees how genuinely flustered you are.
"Hey, no worries," she says with a playful wink, "we've all had those moments."
The reassurance brings a little ease to your shoulders, and you finally lower your bowl, feeling the heat of the moment start to fade, replaced by the gentle flow of conversation and the next adventure.
Blade
You stare down at the text message. It's from an unknown number, but considering who your boyfriend is, you're not really surprised. Blade can be terrifying when he wants to be. At first, you consider ignoring it. After all, if Blade seriously didn't like you anymore, heād make it obvious. He wouldn't send cryptic messages, you don't even think he knows how to, or play mind games. He'd be direct, like he always is. He'd say it to your faceātell you to leave him alone permanently, no strings attached. So cheating just doesnāt seem like his style, especially considering the effort it took just to worm your way into the corners of his heart. To think that after all that, heād start seeing someone else? Yeah, right. The whole idea feels almost... laughable. Then again, thereās a small, cynical part of you that wonders if that would be a green flag or a red one, given the context. Itās not that he doesnāt care about youāitās just that the thought of him cheating on you seems... inconvenient, rather than a calculated betrayal. Maybe thatās a good thing? Or maybe, you think bitterly, itās just the twisted reality of being with someone whoās as emotionally distant as he is.
You exhale a quiet breath, tossing the phone onto the bed beside you. The message still lingers in your mind like a weight, its implications gnawing at you despite your better judgment telling you to let it go. Blade isnāt the type to pull this kind of stunt. If anything, his indifference to emotionsāhis refusal to let anyone ināwould make any kind of infidelity pointless, wouldnāt it? You shake your head, trying to push the thought out of your mind.
"What did you read?"
You glance up, and you're not surprised to see himāthe man of the hourāleaning casually against the opposite wall. His eyes are closed, the dark shadows beneath them hinting at a sleepless night, arms crossed tightly over his chest. His sword, held close as if it's part of him, glints faintly in the dim light. The atmosphere shifts, the air thick with unspoken tension. Instead of answering, you walk over and slide between his legs, the space around you feeling charged as you come to a halt just inches from him.
"I don't care about your vendetta against that man," you say, voice low and deliberate, your hands lightly brushing his thighs as you settle into place, "But you're mine. All mine. Do you understand?"
His jaw clenches, his brows furrow slightly beneath his lashes, but he doesn't answer immediately. His gaze lingers on yours, sharp and intense, almost daring you to push further. He doesnāt answer right away, just watches you, his lips curling into a half-smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. You take a breath, your hands coming to rest at his waist, the space between you charged with an unspoken promise.
"Say it," you demand, voice dropping a notch lower, "or Iāll make sure you never get permission to die."
Thereās a flicker of something in his eyesāsomething that tells you heās heard the weight of your words. For a long moment, he says nothing. Then, with a slight tilt of his head, he leans in just enough to close the distance between you, his breath warm on your cheek.
