searching for the thrill of it

He knew his sister, and he knew how hard it was for her to show emotion, for her to touch on the softer parts of herself that not everyone got to see.  If he were feeling more like himself he would have comforted, would have reassured her that he wouldn’t put anyone else through that.  Because as much as he was hurting, as incomplete as he felt, he knew his family was feeling similarly.  Clark was loud and abrasive, but he was also funny and loyal and you just knew that he’d go to the ends of the earth for the people he cared about.  He’d clean it up… one day.  And if he didn’t get to it soon he was sure his mother would take the burden off his hands.  Wordlessly he reached behind his head for the vanilla scented candle he kept on the end table and lit it with his wand before carefully putting it back, making sure to knock a paper towel off the end table.  The last thing he needed as a fire.  “Funk slightly masked by vanilla now,” he shrugged, smiling slight despite his best effort.  “Smells like your room, sort of.  You should feel right at home.”  It was weak, but he knew that was what she wanted so he made an effort.  Maybe for himself too.  As hopeless as it felt right now, he didn’t want to feel like this forever, not if he could help it.

Frank wasn’t someone he knew very well, but he had had enough run ins with the man to know that that absolutely seemed accurate.  “Seems like the type.  He came in once and nearly bought a tiny lizard until he realized that maybe he should ask his wife first.  Never came back, so I suppose Mrs. Longbottom vetoed the reptile.”  He chewed thoughtfully on a chip as he listened to her try to fill in the blanks with random things.  He appreciated it, but he could tell she was uncomfortable.  “Seems like the student became the master then.”  He bit down on his lip, thinking about how to ask the question he had been wondering since she first told him the news.  “How did you … find out so quickly.  Were you there?”  

*

Marlene wrinkled her nose, less than satisfied with the solution, but at least he was trying.  Still, she couldn’t help but continue to be an asshole to him.  It felt like it was ingrained into her DNA to be a dick to her brothers, even when they were hurting.  “Fuck, I’ll never eat vanilla ice cream again.”  But hey, if she was overly nice to him for no reason, he’d probably keel over from a heart attack, and nobody needed that.  “Oh hah hah, very funny.  My room might not be neat and tidy, but it never smells this bad.”  Well, he was hitting it right back at her, weak as it may have been.  That was good.  Maybe she really should have taken him out and gotten him so drunk he was puking for days, that would be better than trying to make small talk with someone who she literally shared blood with, but in that moment, felt like she hardly knew.

“Weird, I never pegged Alice to be someone who would say no to a little reptile - maybe Frank forgot.  Then again, they did just have a baby.  Don’t reptiles carry disease and some shit?  She may not have wanted the reptile messing about with the baby.  Or the baby messing about with the reptile, I don’t know.”  A bit of guilt tugged at her - she should have made more of an effort with Neville, she knew that.  It just felt like thing after thing kept happening, it didn’t feel like there was time for babies, and she thought it was mad that people kept having babies.  Still.  “Do you get a lot of whackos?  I’d bet so, people are absolutely fucking mental when it comes to their pets.”  She shrugged a little, regretting bringing Frank up when sometimes he made her so pissed it felt like she was seeing red.

“Oh - about - yeah”, Marlene stopped herself just short of saying Clark’s name.  “I wasn’t at Diagon actually, I was being held hostage by the people who are supposedly my friends.”  Maybe if she’d been there, she’d have been able to find Clark and get him out to safety.  Then again, it didn’t do well to think like that.  That wasn’t what she’d joined the Order for.  Would she have helped her own brother before helping someone else?  Put the people that she knew above other innocent bystanders?  She didn’t want to think so, but she also didn’t ever want to be put in the position where she had to find out.  Realizing how bad that sounded, she added, “We set up a makeshift hospital since a lot of the injured couldn’t exactly stroll into Mungo’s, even if it hadn’t just been blasted to bits.”  Maybe that was a bit too much of classified info, but she didn’t really give a fuck.  Pursing her lips, a few seconds of silence were already too much.  “Why?”