Esoteric Diary

31. Writer. Poet. Artist. Philanthropist. Feminist. FTM. 90s baby. Army Combat Veteran. Esoteric Soul. Liberal but Democratic.

Nobody warned me how seriously mean my wife is before I married her. She I just really not a nice human being. She’s mean as hell to me.. And I had nobody to warn me. I’m American and she’s Greek. So literally none of her friends warned me that she’s mean. She curses at me, curses my family and my country all the time. She calls me names like “fkn bitch, or mother fker” she is constantly calling my country and my culture stupid. She constantly calls me stupid. She’s just a very mean person. She’s always putting me down. And she thinks she can talk to me like I’m trash. 2 years into this and I don’t think it’s healthy at all.. it’s very detrimental to my mental health.. I am legit in an abusive relationship.. and I’m married and live in a completely different country. So I have nobody here to turn to for help. I’m actually not sure what to do.. I feel lost and stuck. I feel numb. I’m scared… did I make the wrong decision in the beginning?? Is this why people say you shouldn’t rush things? Is this why so many people aren’t getting married anymore? This is my second marriage btw.. the first ended because she cheated on me for 5 years during my first marriage… now this… it’s close to the same behavior that my ex wife treated me except the volume turned up max… what do I do….