Mpreg Jeff Bezos

Can’t wait to pop this baby out and put them in an Amazon warehouse, since they’ll be wearing a diaper anyway.

My baby will not inherit my assets, because those belong to me. Only I can have them. I have to have all of them. The most of Them.

I’m sorry we all didn’t die when we went to the moon or wherever the fuck it was, but somebody has to stick around to raise my sweet little spawn growing in my richy daddy tummy uwu

Happy Valentine’s Day! Today I’m giving all Amazon drivers an extra bottle to piss in, and I’m only charging them half the usual price!

Alexa, add fetus to my shopping cart.

Happy Mother's Day to me! uwu

I was impregnated in space.

It's kind of like my fetus is being assembled in the Amazon warehouse of my womb

I fucked capitalism, AMA

This week only, if you sign up for Prime, I'll invite you to my baby shower. Please refer to my Amazon wishlist.

I can feel my little billionaire spawn kicking around in there

which yacht should I give birth on