Playlist Diaries @mplaylistdiaries - Tumblr Blog

January 2019

Summary: I had just started my final spring semester of college and I was barely hanging on going to my internship, classes, prepping for my last shows for the semester, going to my job, cutting out a very toxic friend out of my life, grappling with the unraveling of coming out not of my own accord to my parents, and so many other things that I didn’t even want to even start thinking about.

At the time I felt so small and scared about everything going on around me because I felt so ill prepared for the future. I had no idea what I should be doing and how I was going to even accomplish any of the things I wanted to do. Heck. I didn’t even know if I was going to even be able to achieve any of it.

It just all seemed so impossible and everyone else seemed to have some kind of plan for the future on what they were going to do next and excited about us all leaving. It felt like no one noticed how upset or sad I was about how our journey was coming to an end and we were all going to have to live out separate lives. Even though, that wasn’t true at all. It was still how I felt at the time and this playlist reflects all of my feelings at the time.

PLAYLIST LINK

#playlist #diaries #music #therapy

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September 2018 PLAYLIST

PLAYLIST LINK

#drowning #depression #mental health #playlist #diaries #music therapy

September 2018

Summary: I feel like I say this about almost every playlist I show you guys. But, I’m really proud of this one because because I feel the mixture of music, poetry, and AMVs that are in this playlist just showcases everything I was thinking and feeling in this moment when my life was going up in flames and I didn’t know where the ground was anymore. And, I hope that you guys enjoy this playlist.

PLAYLIST LINK

#playlist #mental health #depression

August 2018

Summary: My Senior Year. Man was I a mess. I was doing my stage management internship while writing my twenty four page research paper. Which, I had no plan for at all that year. So, I decided last minute to just do it on my favorite fairytale and just run with it. My professor had me rewrite the first half of my paper at least ten times that semester before I even got it right. And, by that point I was stressing on whether or not I was going to even be able to finish my paper.

PLAYLIST LINK

#senior year #playlist #music therapy #therapy #diaries #mental health

fangirlforthewin

This is my favorite panel of Yor.

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litsnaps

belafu

Damianya's possible future development

As chapter 64 developed Anya's motivations for getting Stellas and becoming an Imperial Scholar, a goal she needed to actually see her mission as more than a mission and do it for herself. Until now, the thing she wanted the most was to have a loving family, which she already has. Plan B is essentially Loid's plan which she had by reading his mind, she didn't have a goal of her own.

This might connect with Chapter 61 (the handkerchief chapter) which made another interesting move, here Damian is the one who approaches Anya first instead of her always approaching him and recalls Anya's habits of nodding off during classes and arriving late.

There's a chance he's getting more used to his feelings (in his own way, not openly showing them because that will take some time and his love language is mostly acts of service). He's not the best at expressing them in both oral and written language but still, he's good at reading her.

If Anya gets more motivated and actually gets better grades (even if it's in baby steps), Damian will notice her change and will likely approach her first.

catstyle

Everyone got their own ghosts~

catstyle

A drawing about anxiety and loneliness~

July 2018

Summary: This is the month I usually go to an anime convention center with my friends, and I think this was when my friends noticed something was majorly wrong with me because I just wasn’t me around them anymore. Which, was true. I wasn’t being me around them anymore. I was still so worried about my friend who thought I was lying and questioning if it was my fault everything went wrong. Which, even though I knew logically I wasn’t. I still felt like shit about it. Plus, I was worrying about so many other things before my graduation that I didn’t even know left from right or where up from down was. So, this is really just a compilation of all of that.

PLAYLIST LINK

#playlist #diaries #music #anime playlist #friends #mental health

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

June 2018

Summary: This playlist reflects a lot of my really terrible negative thoughts and emotions during this period in time after cutting out my toxic friend from my life and involuntarily coming out to my family. Which, neither was going really well because my friend was still constantly messaging me some unsavory and colorful words because he was upset that I had ruined his chances with my best friend after she had rejected him several times and that I wasn’t responding to his messages. This was all going on while my parents were basically ignoring the fact that I had just come out to my parents. So, nothing was going particularly great at that point and all I really wanted to do was just be able to be me and figure out who that is and stop hiding things from myself and the people I cared about, but it didn’t seem like any of that was happening anytime soon.

PLAYLIST LINK

#mental health #playlist #reflection #rejection #coming out #lgbtq

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

kotaamorris

st-just

“People like mental illness narratives, these days. But they only want to take the mentally ill in two forms: in the full, florid madnesses of their imaginations, cinematic and satisfying, or in a state of wise and frictionless “recovery,” looking back at it all with the equanimity and grace of those who have suffered and know they will never suffer again. The grubby, boring, recursive reality of chronic mental illness, the uphill scrambling for temporary and uncertain gain, does not provide the necessary dramatic satisfaction of legibility.”

— Freddie deBoer, Psychosis is Not the Absence of Consciousness

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