Move.Alexandrea

Him: Diba sinumbat mo nga lahat

Our God, come and do what only You can do.

I still remember I waited for you in your office so we could have time to bond it was 11PM that time, we just ride in your car and we play our favorite songs. We talked nonsense ,we laugh and we’re so sweet to each other. 

I still have your full name, your contact number and sorry cause i secretly remember your plate number . Oohh I still remember friday is your coding, Blue is your favorite color and Pepper Launch is your favorite Food. 

Do you still remember when we bought your gift? You said you’re dying to have Onitsuka shoes and because its your birthday I bought you one. You look like a child you don’t know what you really want but because you’re whitish and I told you to try this cause this is really unique and cool and its perfectly good with your complexion and you also like it.

Onitsuka Tiger Mexico 66 SD - Sneakers BURNT RED/OATMEAL

Tatagalugin ko yung bandang dito kasi tangina ka dave diko naman alam na ang mahal palang rubber shoes na yan , buong akala ko Php 5,000 lang ganun since mga ganun range ng shoes ng nike and adidas na the usual price. Sabay pag bayad ko naman Php 8,000 to anak ka ng tokwa! Kaya pala tuwang tawa ka at kaya pala una mong tanong sa sales lade Mexico 66 , kulit mo ay! Nabigla ako sa cashier inatake ako buti nalang may cash akong ganito hahahaha akala ko sarili ko na ibabayad ko. Pero nung nakita naman kitang masaya eh sobrang saya ko naman. 

I still remember the day when we talked like for 3-4 hours in Legaspi Park in Makati. Tagalog nalang pala, Naalala ko yung biglaan tayong nagkita because you have a problem with your office and you want to escape. Sa dami ng kwento diko maalala ano pinagkwentuhan natin basta ang naalala ko lang sabi mo ang halay ng damit ko at nakikitaan nako hahahaha. Sobrang payat mo naalala ko 50kg kalang with 5′5 height pero gustong gusto kita at ang talino mo, sobrang makabuluhan mga sinasabi mo at talagang madami akong natutunan. Naalala ko pagtapos natin magshopping ng gift mo binasahan moko ng libro kung ano anong life advice pinagsasabi mo. Na sinulat ko pa sa mini notebook, I told to myself when i feel bad and down I will make time to read the page over and over again.

I still remember that  I ask if where are we now? You said “ Just go with the flow, Im not into relationship now I have alot of plans and goal need to accomplish and relationship is not my priority” 

Para akong sinampal ng chenelas sa sinabi mo hahahaha kasi I know to myself that I love you and  I wanna own you pero i respect you and understand that hindi pwede maging tayo. Many months you said that “I am always and I feel like a normal being and living by being me when I am with you, All the time I just go to work and think about work but when Im with you I forget everything all the doubts and stress”

Ang sarap pakinggan diba? pero masarap lang pakinggan kasi alam ko hindi mo parin pipiliin na maging partner ako. Nagulat ako ng sinabi mo one time that you are willing to have a baby with me, infareness para kalang bumili ng ice tubig sa sari sari store the way you deliver these words. You make me smile that time pero ano gagawin mo pagnagkababy tayo? sakin nga hindi mo magawang magcommit paano pa sa baby? Hindi ko isusugal yung bata para maging akin ka .

Then what if one day you just realize that you’re annoyed and tired because the happiness is not always available? If the comfortable things disappear and the advantage is not always available then it will be difficult right? and people don’t like difficulties because we are informed that being happy is easy! because we are knowledgeable that being happy is always available! 

Hindi nga, paano kung one day hindi nako masaya at nakakainis nako then wala nakong kwentang kausap do you think andyan kapa? I can’t bet all the things i have just because I am happy in the moment , i could not give my future and be the father of my future kids just because I am happy now. 

Ang sakit, kasi andun na lahat ng opportunity na alam ko andyan ka ,masaya tayo, parang tayo, gusto mo ng anak sakin at sabi mo pananagutan mo kami pero alam mo saan ako nasaktan sa part nato nung ginamit ko UTAK KO kasi naisip ko hindi sapat yung masaya lang ako ngayon at umoo ako sa mga bagay na posibleng panandalian lang. 

Gusto ko tong isulat dito para isang araw pag naalala kong buksan tong tumblr ko mabasa ko uli to na masaya at maalala kong “ Ay may ganito palang eksena sa buhay ko , Hanep!” 

When they say “Just Go with the Flow” , Go but do not leave your brain with you, Do not let you heart always dictate the next step and  Do not too much focus on your present Happiness look on the other side of happiness there’s alot of chances and possibilities.

But I'm bluer than blue Sadder than sad