~(^._.^)~ bogos binted

can you take my white ass to funkytown

nope. torture city again

come on

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

i work at the post office beating the shit out of your fragile package

um...

my buddhism audiobook paused mid-paragraph for a startling length of time and my arts major ass was like "Wow. What a powerful commentary on stillness." (my phone had died.)

the quick brown fox lowkey mogs the lazy dog

my bf texted me a picture of a mysterious big black roach looking bug on the floor and hasn’t answered me since… rip

dam u think that roach givin him the succ?

letd go eat parts of that guys car

im extremely devout but nobody can figure out what im worshipping

they should make a bird who's call sounds like a hard fart on a leather couch

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

the coworker who is too maternal and has correctly identified you as the runt of the office and won’t let you eat your lunch on break so you starve quicker and die