#1 SPAMTON DEFENDER and fucker

Huge hater sorry. comes with being correct. also i dont mean that. i said it cuz its funny.

Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.

So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.

But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.

It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?

So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:

Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.

And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.

So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".

So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.

My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.

Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.

Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.

Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).

Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues

According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.

Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.

For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.

Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life

Aaand a close-up:

HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE

Genuinely I don't feel like the trans community has ever had to meaningfully reckon with exorsexism. There's all this fucking yapping about smashing the gender binary and how cool and sexy this androgynous (cis) rockstar is, but when it comes down to it people want to cling to the binary. Because it affirms their own gender. Because it allows them to bond with cis people. Because it makes them feel normal and real and natural. Binary trans people oftentimes only want to challenge the parts of the gender binary that directly impede THEIR ability to socially claim womanhood/manhood, but will not actually challenge it anywhere else.

It comes back to the fact that cissexism and the patriarchy itself are built on the gender binary & oppositional sexism, but a lot of binary trans people (particularly those who pass and are gender conforming), knowingly or not, have this attitude of "but why do THEY (cis people) get to play with that, and I don't???" Because they are men/women, and all those OTHER men and women can simply float on the exorsexist social current without ever thinking twice about it.

There is inherently some exorsexism in all transphobia, but if you can narrate yourself and your experiences through the language of the binary, you get a level of social acceptance that other trans people (including many, many binary/-aligned trans people, and intersex people) do not. And that's why binary aligned trans people then turn around and start blaming nonbinary people and GNC trans people and anyone who continues inflaming exorsexist society for how trans people are treated.

Because to be cis is to be binary, and so, so much of trans activism has been about telling cis people that we are just like them—just regular men and women, trapped in the opposite sex body. And nonbinary people fundamentally cannot and generally will not do that. We are asking cis people to respect us and acknowledge that our genders are just as valid even if they are completely foreign to cis people, even if they are undeniably, fundamentally trans in a way that cannot be renegotiated into cisness.

That is not to say that binary trans people are less radical or less trans—there are many binary trans people I know and love who fucking hate the idea of conforming to cisness in any way. And they get fucked over by exorsexism big time. The language I'm using here (nonbinary vs binary) is itself fundamentally flawed given the actual complexity of exorsexism, but I'm feverish so I'm unfortunately not going to invent an improved paradigm in this post.

My point is that I tried so damn hard to make myself make sense to binary people. I spent years of my life knowing I was trans and torturing myself because no matter what I came out as, I always felt like a liar, nothing ever fit. I tried to be a nonbinary lesbian the way everyone wants, I tried to be a trans man in the way everyone wants, I tried to be neutral but y'know not making a big deal out of it or anything (and of course neutral people don't have any sexuality, because the minute you have a sexuality you have to align yourself with the binary, hence the "not making a big deal out of it"). I tried and tried and tried to not be a thorn in the side of the exorsexism that's so prevalent not just in society but in the trans community, I tried not to make my gender a problem for everyone. I only felt real stability and safety and humanity in myself through my gender once I let myself be how I actually am and quit cherrypicking my identity based around what wouldn't upset the implicit but STRONG gender binary in trans spaces. And it's really just so frustrating seeing binary trans people who don't ever think for a second about any of this, and even more other nonbinary people who are able to narrate themself in a way that appeals to exorsexism, all of whom act like nonbinary people who can't or won't do that are just causing problems for fun.

[PT: Educate yourself about paraphilic disorders this disability pride month! /End PT]

This disability pride month, I urge you to educate yourself about paraphilic disorders, and learn to stop misusing paraphilic language.

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To start - what is a paraphilia vs a paraphilic disorder?

[PT: To start - what is a paraphilia vs a paraphilic disorder? /End PT]

Paraphilia: Arousal or attraction to something/someone that is considered atypical. This could be sexual, romantic, or nonrose (ie; queerplatonic, alterous, sensual, etc) [link]. All kinks & fetishes fall under the paraphilia umbrella - yes, all. BDSM, foot fetishes, urine kinks, whatever "benign" kink/fetish you can think of, it is a paraphilia. Paraphilic Disorder (Para Disorder): A paraphilia that causes a person distress (unrelated to guilt from purity culture). Oftentimes (but not every time), this paraphilia becomes obsessive-compulsive, and extremely difficult to ignore. Most para disorders would inflict serious harm upon oneself or others if fully explored, however, generally "benign" kinks/fetishes can also turn into paraphilic disorders (for example, if a person obsessively compulsively thinks about their attraction to feet, that is a paraphilic disorder.)

If you want to read more detail on what paraphilias are, see here [link.]

Now, let's get into the most demonized of paraphilic disorders - pedophilia, hebephilia, ephebophilia, zoophilia, necrophilia, biastophilia, violence paraphilias, and incestophilia.

Pedophilia: Adults or older minors who are attracted to/aroused by prepubescent children. This usually refers to children who are under the age of 12-13 (though may range, as some children hit puberty sooner or later than this.) Infantophilia is a subset of pedophilia describing attraction/arousal towards infants/toddlers. Hebephilia: Adults or older minors who are attracted to/aroused by to early pubescent kids, usually ranging in the ages of 12-15. Pedophebephilia refers to a combination of pedophilia and hebephilia. Ephebophilia: Adults (usually in their older 20s+) who are attracted to/aroused by late pubescent minors (or very early adults), usually ranging in the ages of 15-19. MAP (minor attracted/aroused person/people): An umbrella term for pedophiles, hebephiles, and ephebophiles. "MAP" is not a term for "child predators trying to infiltrate the LGBTQIA+ community." That is a myth [link.] Zoophilia: A person attracted to/aroused by animals, often animals of a specific subtype. Necrophilia: A person attracted to/aroused by corpses, often at specific stages of decay. Biastophilia/Raptophilia: A person attracted to/aroused by the idea of raping someone. Violence Paraphilias: A person attracted to/aroused by the idea of some form of violence (ie; abuse, murder, etc.) Incestophilia: A person attracted to/aroused by the idea of engaging in non-familial acts of intimacy with a family member.

From here on out, when I say "demonized para disorders", I am referring to the ones listed above.

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Paraphilic disorders do not turn someone into a predator. There is no such thing as a "crime disorder" or "thought crimes."

[PT: Paraphilic disorders do not turn someone into a predator. There is no such thing as a "crime disorder" or "thought crimes." /End PT]

Firstly, attraction/arousal is not enough to turn someone into a criminal.

Attraction/arousal can be a *motivator* to someone who selfishly gives into power, but it is never the sole or primary reason as to why someone rapes.

Example: Most child rapists are not pedophiles, just as most men who rape men are not queer [link].

For example, a serial rapist who targets brunettes may have a specific attraction for brunettes, sure, but the preference isn't the motivator to be a rapist. That makes no sense. Most people who are primarily attracted to brunettes aren't going to rape them. There is something beyond attraction that leads a person to rape. They'd have to have an underlying sense of entitlement to the other person's body to do such a thing.

And even so, maybe they don't have a preference for brunettes. Maybe they *hate* brunettes, and are trying to punish them. Rape can be done out of hate, too.

If you (general you) frame attraction as the cause of rape, you not only demonize entire groups of people (ie; people with demonized paraphilias, etc), but you also invalidate victims whose perpetrators were not attracted to them.

You're essentially telling them "your experience isn't real", or "it's because of how pretty/handsome you are, you're attractive, thats why you were raped", when thats not the case.

Secondly, not all people with demonized para disorders are exclusively paraphilic. For example, a zoophile may also be attracted to humans, a hebephile may also be attracted to adults, etc.

And even if they are exclusively paraphilic, they may choose to be single or celibate, or choose to engage in their paraphilia through acts of roleplay, consuming fiction, or creating fiction.

Attraction =/= harmful action. Roleplay & fiction are harmless actions a person can take.

(This is one of the reasons why censorship is harmful. It actively strips demonized paraphiles from coping methods, and silences people from fictional explorations. Instead of censoring people, child-friendly spaces and proper tagging should be the primary goal. Read more about that here [link] and here [link.])

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Say what you actually mean - child predator, animal rapist, corpse desecrator, etc.

Stop misusing the terms pedophile, zoophile, and necrophile.

Conflating these terms makes you sound no less ableist than people who misuse the terms sociopath, psychopath, psychotic, narcissist, etc.

[PT: Say what you actually mean - child predator, animal rapist, corpse desecrator, etc.

Stop misusing the terms pedophile, zoophile, and necrophile.

Conflating these terms makes you sound no less ableist than people who misuse the terms sociopath, psychopath, psychotic, narcissist, etc. /End PT]

Put what you truly mean on your DNIs. If you don't want predators interacting, say "DNI pro contacts."

If you don't want to see adult x minor fantasies on your timeline, say "DNI if you post adult x minor content." If you don't want to see ageplay (age difference roleplay) fantasies on your timeline, say "DNI if you post ageplay content." (Not all MAPs post adult x minor or ageplay content, the same way that not all foot fetishists post foot fetish content, not all schizospecs post their delusions, etc.)

If you don't want to see animal x human fantasies on your timeline, say "DNI if you post non-sapient animal x human content." (Same as the previous point, not all zoophiles post human x feral animal content.)

If you don't want to see corpse desecration fantasies on your timeline, say "DNI if you post corpse desecration fantasies." (Same point as prior.)

If you don't want to see rape fantasies on your timeline, say "DNI if you post noncon/dubcon." (Same point as prior.)

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Importantly, when looking at statistics, remember this:

The general public avoids diagnosis due to stigma and ostracization. People with demonized paraphilias are often kicked out of their homes, institutionalized, or shoved into conversion therapy (which does not work.)

This means that demonized paraphilias are usually only tested in criminals and abusers. This is also true for cluster B personality disorders (primarily ASPD, but also NPD, HPD, & BPD).

If autism was only tested in criminals, it would be known as a "crime disorder" too.

[PT: The general public avoids diagnosis due to stigma and ostracization. People with demonized paraphilias are often kicked out of their homes, institutionalized, or shoved into conversion therapy (which does not work.)

This means that demonized paraphilias are usually only tested in criminals and abusers. This is also true for cluster B personality disorders (primarily ASPD, but also NPD, HPD, & BPD).

If autism was only tested in criminals, it would be known as a "crime disorder" too. /End PT]

Demonizing paraphilic disorders benefits nobody, and actively hinders disability rights.

[PT: Demonizing paraphilic disorders benefits nobody, and actively hinders disability rights.]

Here are some other posts I recommend looking over for further education:

Like. This is a fucking game. Two boxers fighting one another in a ring are two gamers playing a game together. I cannot stress the extent to which boxing, MMA, et al are games created and pursued primarily for idle amusement. Just because the game is happening in a ring as opposed to on a pitch doesn't make it less of a game. We are Playing Toys when we glove up and clobber each other. It is For Fun. They're dangerous games, to be sure, but the danger is the chief source of amusement for the participants and the audience. The boxers wouldn't be boxing if they hated boxing.

"If we did co-ed boxing there would be Men Beating Up Women 😡" Last time I checked a fight requires at least 2 active participants unless you're just beating up on yourself alone like Edward Norton in that movie. And as I said above, I presume nobody would pursue a career in boxing if they didn't like doing the boxing.