jaskier travels to future modern day where geralt is like 800 years old

after the dragon hunt geralt and jaskier part ways

geralt didn’t mean anything he said ofc, he was just angry and frustrated and he took it out on the one person he could always count on

but his stupid pride won’t let him apologize

even though he feels sorry as soon as the words leave his mouth

he watches jaskier walk away, and knows that he has to give his the bard some time

three years is a lot of time to give but geralt can’t find him

he has literally looked everywhere

oxenfurt, lettenhove, pasoda, hell even cintra (which he vowed to never go back to, but he needs to find jaskier)

the bard is nowhere

five more years pass

geralt still looks for him everywhere

every time there’s a bard with bushy brown hair or blue eyes or a lute with flowers on it, he’s reminded of jaskier and is filled with hope for one quick second

but it’s never jaskier

he hears it in a pub

it’s a no name pub he’s never been to, one he just stopped in after a hunt

and he hears it

the bard in the corner, talking to some patrons, acting as if it’s just casual conversation

“yes, yes, the great bard Jaskier, meletele bless his soul, wrote many ballads in his day, and had he not fallen to horrid fate, we might have more. but alas, we make do.” and he finished with a laugh.

a laugh

geralt storms out of the pub, probably scaring the few townspeople sober enough to notice

he takes on contracts that he knows are too dangerous for him

he goes to kaer morehn every winter and drinks himself near death

the others are worried for him, but bringing it up leads to geralt locking himself in his room for weeks

they don’t talk about it

he isn’t sober for more than a few hours at time for a decade

eventually geralt finds his child surprise

and he knows that he can’t keep this up AND be a decent father figure

he and yennifer sort things out and she helps him sober up

blah blah blah season two happens mainly as it did in netflix cannon except without jaskier

a few hundred years pass

everyone’s alive (all the witchers, yennifer, ciri, magic is the answer to everything)

it feels like forever

geralt never stops thinking about jaskier

everytime music changes or a new instrument is invented, all geralt can think about is how jaskier would respond

he cries the day he found out ab recording

all he can think about is how he would never get to hear jaskier immortalized like this

jaskier would never be remembered

that thought makes him cry harder

it takes yennifer and ciri a week to pull him out of his drunken depressive episode

geralt has settled in pretty well though

he’s generally good at adapting to change (even though the fact that his dog is named roach says otherwise)

he has a job that he mostly enjoys (he’s a park ranger. it’s the most fun he’s ever had and he loves it so much. if anyone ever found out he would kill them and then himself)

he and his family try to get together at least once a month

they got closer after they stopped having to kill to survive

when they finally got to a point where they could just be

they almost always go over to vesemirs (because despite what they say, he’s their dad)

it’s at one of these dinners, as everyone’s saying their goodbyes, a loud crack and swear is heard from the backyard

it’s a swear they haven’t heard in a long time

centuries maybe

then more swearing

geralt pauses and listens to the voice that he knows is dead

this is a nasty trick

the other witcher’s know that something’s wrong as soon as they see geralt’s expression change

they got rid of their swords a long time ago (it was the 70s after someone lambert tried to take them to a festival and almost killed someone. now they stay in the attic)

but they all carry daggers ofc

they grab their weapons and slowly stalk towards the yard

where the voice is still ranting and cursing

still in a language long dead

they open the door

geralt doesn’t belive it

“where the fuck am i, geralt” the bards voice is just like it was that day on the mountain

chapter/story two

none of them move for a beat

they can hear the man’s (jaskiers?) heart beating so fast it could come out of his chest

he doesn’t seem like a fake (dopplers went extinct a few centuries ago anyway)

if this was an imposter, they were too good at it

“jaskier” has the same scent he always has (wild flowers and a field after rain)

jaskier looks at the witchers, all big and scary and totally pointing their daggers at him

he can assume the other men are geralts brothers

though they don’t have a madellian, they each have a large ring with a wolf engraved

don’t ask jaskier how he noticed this

he doesn’t know

geralt stalks closer to the man (the man who was dead for almost 1000 years, the man who shouldn’t be here right now)

he hears a light growl from behind him and eskel lightly gripping his arm

but he has to do this, so he shakes the hand off and continues forward

with each step that geralt takes, jaskier smells… calmer

this confuses geralt, because even though they had been… friends for a long time, they parted ways on awful terms

in a language he hasn’t heard in such a long time, jaskier begins to speak

“geralt…” he repeats, “where the fuck am i?”

it takes a moment for geralt to process, and not just because he barely remembers the language

but the man’s voice sounds so much like jaskiers

and jaskier looks not a hair out of place

* smells terrified

* his face creased with concern and eyes filled with unshed tears

* geralt approaches him as one would a rabid dog

* “who are you” he asks

* the words feel heavy on his tongue

* at least he remembered to ask in the same language the other man had been speaking

* “geralt, what the fuck are you talking about. you know me” jaskier puts on a show that he isn’t scared

* but the trembling in his voice gives it away

* “where am i, geralt” his voice is more desperate now

* geralt desperately wants to believe that this truly is jaskier

* but it’s impossible

* he hears footsteps behind him

* it’s eskel, who lays a heavy hand on his shoulder

* “we won’t ask again” eskel is gruff and tries to sound threatening

* he knows that geralt can’t do this

* “who. are. you.” eskels voice is nearly a growl

* a year falls from jaskiers eye

* “you know who i am. i’m jaskier. geralt please” his voice is pleading

* geralt turns away from him

* knowing that he’s going to break

* he turns his back to “jaskier” and hears a broken sound, almost a sob, come from the man

* “please”

* geralt closes his eyes and stands with his brother and father

* eskel is still standing close to the jaskier imposter

* “please, how can i prove i am who i say” jaskiers begging at this point

* geralt doesn’t think he’s ever heard him beg

* not when they first met (jaskier had simply insisted on following),

* not when geralt would be forced to go and be his body guard (jaskier would just ask and geralt couldn’t say no),

* not for his life when they had gotten kidnapped by the elves (jaskier had stayed strong. geralt didn’t know that a human could be so calm under pressure like that),

* and not when geralt had sent him away (jaskier had just. left)

* but now he’s begging, tears falling from his eyes, looking close to dropping to his knees

* the air smelled sour, like sweat and salt

* but even under that he could smell jaskier

* “yennefer” geralt says

* he’s quiet but everyone heard him

* they all look at him

* “let’s get yennefer. she’ll be able to tell”

* jaskiers face scrunches up in a way that’s so familiar yet so achingly distant

* “i didn’t quite understand all that” he says, voice thick but obviously trying to hide it, “but i heard yennefers name. is she here?”

chapter/story three

* yennefer was not having a good day

* it started at the asscrack of dawn when her client decided to confess

* why the fuck would he do that

* she would have been able to get all the charges dropped

* she’s just that good

* but now there’s no chance

* because her clients a fucking idiot

* so now, angry and hungry (because of course she hasn’t eaten all day because she doesn’t have the fucking time), she gets a call from geralt

* “what” she barks the word out, sounding as pissed as she is

* but as geralt explains the situation

* she feels her heart drop from her chest

* “what?” her voice is soft in a way it hasn’t been for decades

* “i’ll be right over”

* no, she never really liked jaskier

* but when she and geralt broke up (mutually ofc)

* she could see without even using her chaos that all he was thinking about was jaskier

* she’s felt his pain for centuries and seen how much he has hurt

* she never really uses her chaos anymore (there’s not really any need to. wanna portal somewhere and there’s no rush? take a car. wanna talk to someone far away? use a phone. god she loves modern day)

* but she portals over

* she’s rusty at first, because she literally hasn’t portaled anywhere since the 70s (and yea, it was to get lambert out of the sword situation)

* but it’s basically muscle memory

* when she gets to vesemirs place, she sees him

* she sees a man she hasn’t for almost 1000 years

* looking exactly the same (and yea, so does she, but he’s a human)

* her eyes are wide as she walks over to jaskier

* “hello witch” he says, voice still slightly trembling

* geralt had forgot to mention that jaskier still spoke old common

* and that should have been a common sense thought but

* she still hasn’t expected it

* “bard” she says, in the same tongue, her voice holding none of the malice or contempt it used to

* “i’m… going to make sure that you’re who you say you are” she says, taking a few steps closer

* “do your worst witch” he says, false bravado coming through

* god as much as she hated him

You know. A somewhat conservative, pro-state message.

But I say this simply, and carefully:

The Purge movies are the opposite of that. Completely.

From the beginning, they have always been a scathing criticism of the middle class and the wealthy for their blatant disregard for the lives of everyone else and their love for state sanctioned violence.

They aren't even fucking subtle.

Every villain in those movies dress like fucking Republicans. They worship guns. The Purge in universe only exists to fund the NRA.

The first movie was about a black man being hunted by Ivy League looking ass white people in suits and shit.

Said black man was the only decent person too, and he saved the people in the house he took refuge in, despite the fact that they beat his ass up and were going to give him to the crazies that were chasing him.

Purge 2 was about how state sanctioned violence always affects the underclasses more than the wealthy, since the wealthy can buy fancy defenses and nice weapons, while the poor are forced to defend themselves by any means necessary.

Purge 4 actually showed the FIRST PURGE in a majority black community, and guess what they were doing?

Having sex in public.

Doing drugs and partying outside.

It was stated that white people in charge literally had to unleash a serial killer on the community to force them to commit acts of violence.

And the latest purge, Purge 5 I think, was centered entirely on the struggles of immigrants, trying to cross the border and not get murdered during Purge night.

So no.

The Purge movies do NOT say, "Oh people would immediately kill each other if given the chance."

They actually say, rich white people would kill minorities if given the opportunity.

And are they wrong?

Seriously.

Lord of the Flies moment, guys.

Neither Lord of the Flies, nor the Purge movies suggest that people would kill and cannibalize one another as soon as they can without the rules of society.

Doubts - Part 1

There’s so much that you can do with this prompt though. I might write something longer later. (Also saw a reblogged tag that mentioned Angel is actually older so I used that)

Read on A03

Chapters: 1/1

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Additional Tags: Age reveal, Angel Dust Being Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Minor Angel Dust/Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Tumblr Prompt, Angel is older then Husk, not beta read

Summary:

Angel starts using old slang with Alastor. Everyone is just now finding out just how old Angel actually is.

(Terrible summary) saw a prompt on tumblr and just had to take a crack at it.

"Hey, where's Lydia?" Dustin asked.

"Oh, her parents called the theater. Apparently, there was a family emergency," Steve shrugged.

"Oh, that sucks. You were really looking forward to it," Dustin frowned. "More popcorn for us."

And I love Steve and Jonathan being really friendly albeit awkward with each other.

But you know what I absolutely LOVE?

Stonathan who can’t STAND each other.

But would also go to fucking war for each other.

Some asshole is being a prick to Jonathan in school? The dudes suddenly thrown off of every sports team he’s on and the principal is fully aware of every time he cheated on a test. Steve just so happens to be at the high school that day to pick up the kids.

There’s some dickwad giving Steve a hard time at work every day? The guys windshield is busted in and car’s been keyed. Jonathan was totally just stopping by Family Video for a movie at the same time.

It’s just so funny to me. The idea of them both putting on this kind of mask around the whole group where everyone thinks they’re at least friendly with each other— the awkwardness is a given, honestly.

But then when it’s just them— getting high together or smth idk— they trade insults that would have anyone else in a ball crying.

And then them both slowly coming out of their shells around the whole group.

And the first time it happens Steve had called Jonathan a home wrecker and in turn Jonathan called Steve a whore.

Everyone was flipping shit trying to make them both apologize to each other before another fight broke out. But Jonathan and Steve sat and laughed at them.

Nobody ever gets used to their bitter teasing towards each other (nobody’s ever heard Jonathan use such foul language) but they learn to accept that that’s just how they are with each other.

This is kinda like a begrudging sibling-bonded stonathan.

and after digging a little deeper i found out that he was very supportive of transness, saying that trans men are men and trans women are women

BUT

he also believed in the church’s gender roles meaning that trans women had to marry men and be submissive wives and trans men had to marry women and be strong christian husbands.

which is like ????

I thought I would make a masterpost for my "I Can't Believe It's Not Fanon" (otherwise known as..."facts that sound like Geraskier fic writers made them up but are, in fact, book canon") series.

I will add to this post, so rb it and keep an eye on it. I have at least one more big post coming up.

Geralt rescuing Dandelion from kidnappers (and slaughtering and threatening a bunch of people for him)

Geralt plays it cool, but secretly loves Dandelion's singing

Geralt and Dandelion Domesticity (sharing beds and clothing)

Geralt and Dandelion Domesticity (pooling money and Dandelion bullying racists)

Geralt is Dandelion's specialest boy (Dandelion defending Geralt)

Dandelion is Geralt's Most Important Damsel (Geralt defending Dandelion)

Geralt and Dandelion patching up each other's wounds

Geralt learning Dandelion's real name

Sweet quiet moment of Geralt asking Dandelion's advice (and Dandy begging him not to kill a dragon)

A doppler turns into Dandelion to protect itself from Geralt and it gets more interesting from there.

basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.

she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.

if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test.

because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.

a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he'd told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he's at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can't go down there, but he saw the woman go.

instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.

she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.