funny how there's no escape.

his wife has filled his house with chimps

Girls, bad news. Nobody on earth masturbated today so god has to kill an angel with his bare hands.

"be yourself" thats the worst possible advice you could ever fucking give me i do not have a default personality

job for a man with no skills and is scared of everything

its so bizzare that increased awareness about anxiety has led to “that makes me uncomfy/scared” being an injunction to stop someone else just going abt their life and not a realisation that these things are just feelings and sometimes our feelings are completely discordant with the level of danger were in. like “sometimes i feel threatened when im actually not” should be grounds to interrogate disgust etc not the other way arnd 

im a boy and im a girl so they cancel each other out and i have no gender. it’s basic mathematics

The thing about girls is they’ll be in a relationship with the most random man. They will find people you didn’t even know god could make