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@mosttempted

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Whakatane trip.💕
Under my Christmas tree, 😍
....definitely NOT our island hair 😂
No matter what he do.

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I can just hear this gif with that smile. 😊
Cloudydays.
he gets sad sometimes and i don’t know how else to comfort him when he hides it away. so i do my best impression of a lover and tell him if i can kiss it all away. so when he smiles i remind him that the good memories are just as important as the bad ones. and it’s easy to only think of the terrible ones. it’s much harder to remember the simple fact that you got a chance to meet one another. it’s much harder to be conscious about it. it’s much harder to say, "i’m going to smile about this".. He use to say to me that it’s okay to cry, so i’d say the same to him. when he doesn’t want to talk and he’s numb, i don’t stay quiet. i laugh and remind him of the stupid moments that makes me smile when I think of them. my baby doesn’t know that i see poetry in his dark, quiet eyes , so i want to put prose onto his lips and kiss the joy right back into him. Like a refound melody I can't help but keep Humming. you see, you don’t need to always be smiling— i’ll hold you when you need it and i’ll be quiet when you’re venting. i’ll listen and i’ll be loyal to you because i want to be, for simple fact you deserve to be treated right. i know it’s not much, but you don’t need to hide from your feelings, because i’ll be the first one to tell you that i’m in love with you. you’re my person. i don’t need you to be something that you’re not. be as you are. come as you will. do as you please. my love is something that’s unconditional and i’m sorry for my shortcomings, tho ill always be around. i hope these words make you feel safe and sound.
I need to know. I needed to dissect every decision that was made that unfortunately led up to you breaking me.... And you always went on about your life without a single word or worry of the havoc you caused me. As if I deserved it. As if I was just a lost cause. I'd sit up in bed staring at my wall as tears would run down my face, hoping I'd cry out every bit of you that I fostered inside me. I wanted to cry everyday, all day, for however long, as long as I knew at the end of it all I've gotten rid of you.... My mind broke attempting to hold my shattered heart together. My thoughts seeped thru the cracks of me, blurring my day to day routine with painful memories of us. I had become a broken record as I locked myself away, replaying over & over the last things you said to me.... I've been here all alone after all. Alone as I engraved this perfect relationship in my mind of us... just to hurt myself in the end coming to reality we are no longer US.
- and this blog is now just a museum of brokenness.

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But what he don't know is the fact that I do know. 💯
I can literally sit and do nothing and be content.. if only its with him 🤭
Warm in the morn'n
In the morning as I bury my face in his neck, I breathe him in.. he smells WARM. But not like a summer afternoon, as he freeingly lounges around in nothing but underwear & socks. Nor is it warm like freshly made brownies, which he adorably loved to bake & taught me milk is the trick! WARM.. But not like a load of laundry that just came out of the dryer, though I do like to take time to just hold them both with my eyes closed for the full comfy effect. Coming to Half past 9, still half asleep as He pulls me in closer and I can literally taste his smell now.. its WARM - but not like a cup of chai tea which he'd routinely make each morning, so much that the scent had filled our space. Warm, but not like after hitting a bong cone, that gets you coughing up a sweat so much you can't help but laugh 😂 just warm.. but not like the sleepout that use to suffocate me each night with that little heater you never wanted to turn off. He smells WARM.. like me, like him, tucked under this blanket all night as our bodies, with no apparent sight, would find each other. Warm like a familiar place, that feels like a home's safe haven on a stormy night. Warm like the blood that pumps the only thing that beats in me, which beats for him.
Write about him in my phones notepad, that's how I know its real. ✏📒🥰
The most annoying laugh I can listen to over and over, everyday of my life 🤣🤣🤣

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Interpretation
I look at him with awe, effortlessly.
Cause who am I to question what's an act or fact of a lying truth... Hmm?
Especially when he sleeps so preciously.
As he jokingly admits; He can be a walking contradiction
Like, I was lost till I found my way just to get lost in him..
Bit of a riddle but everything about him is a non fiction.
A literature course I can't stop studying.
That scrabble word you cleverly play just to learn it's not a word...
But should be one cause it just sounds right.
Perfection in a man is taught to be strong and cut finely around the edges, an emotional one is never preferred...
But the teachings you can find in a broken man, defines "perfection" is sought through love's sight..
Sweet words, the corny punches at the end of a horrible joke; we can't help but laugh at.. I could even dumb it down for a fool if I wanted to.
Tell it 10x right then 2x left to the imagination.
But even then ; you struggle to make sense of this poem.
As you do with trying to figure HE & I out, for our bond has no limitations.
-Adrienne
A Bit Puzzled
🧩 I've dealt with puzzles my whole life.
From farm animals & wooden ABCs to National monuments,
Completed many. Even did over, repeatedly, the easy ones.
Size of the challenge is never a factor, I crave the analysation.
From an hour to even months over; there's always an identical emotion that comes about each different time that last piece was put in..
You can assume "accomplished" or even satisfied...
I call it, loss of interest..
28 years in, I've ironically pieced together.. my childhood habits didn't die young
In fact, didn't die at all!
I've never gone back to a finished puzzle to admire it, night after night...
I pack it away in its box to make room for a new one.
Which I've been doing with my relationships all these years...
Questionably I'm stumped
I've come across an old puzzle, bit dusty and torn, which had gotten lost in the back of someone's storage...
But undeniably one of those collectables you just hold on to for it's unique worth.
Progress is very faint at first glance,
But I'm at it each day, at the same table, with the same pieces.. innocently figuring him out...
Though his pieces don't match up; from parts being lost through different owners...
I still see the picture 💕
But this puzzle has no end.. there's more to discover with multiple ways to see it all.
Even if it takes the rest of my life to do so..
Because the intriguing throb in my soul to know more of him, will then be the end of me.
- Adrienne