this will probably awaken something in me

Summer: Why are you fighting?! Can't you see you're all the same?

Dee: You can't spy on unsuspecting women, that's horrible!

Are you sure this a good idea? Because I had the exact same idea, but I was embarrassed to say it.

God, I love being a priest. We're all going to heaven, lads. Wayyy.

I hope you guys were behaving, all right? Because you know what happens on strike two. Strike two and... Strike... You're not out on strike two, but, you know, strike two, you're on thin ice.

Shirley: I have a question. I don't think my character would say "tripping balls".

I pushed those two together like a god on Mount Olympus too cheap to pay for porn!

CJ: You guys consider me your enemy? You're some of my closest friends.

Gina: You and I will never touch again.

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.

Amy: I passed a "slutty tree" on the way here. Who wants to have sex with a tree?

Jake: Are you a minor? How old are you?

What is Elmo? A seal?

Nick: That's a curse.

Nick: You believe in crystals, Winston.

Anything's funny when you put an old man in it. Except for the ground.

Schmidt: So you had sex with him?