my favorite spongebob quotes starters
feel free to change pronouns as necessary.
❝ how touching. i’m gonna go home and throw up. ❞
❝ no, please! i have three kids! ❞
❝ he poisoned our water supply, burned our crops, and delivered a plague unto our houses! ❞
❝ too bad that didn’t kill me. ❞
❝ shut your mouth, you mediocre clarinet player. ❞
❝ it feels like somebody… wants to sell me something! ❞
❝ you took my only food! now i’m gonna starve! ❞
❝ oh, so, this is the thanks i get for working overtime. ❞
❝ excuse me, sir. i hope my horrible ugliness won’t be a distraction to you. ❞
❝ if i was a mom, this would be kinda shocking. ❞
❝ how many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?! ❞
❝ don’t worry, pops, we’re almost across the street. ❞
❝ what?! you think i’m a robot?! ❞
❝ i can’t see my forehead. what’s your problem? ❞
❝ i tattled on him, and now he wants to strangle me with his diabolical hands! i hope they’re not dirty… ❞
❝ it’s not just a boulder! it’s a rock! it’s a big, beautiful, old rock! ❞
❝ i thought what we had was special! ❞
❝ well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets… secretly. ❞
❝ a poem, by ___. roses are blue, violets are red, i have to go to the bathroom. ❞
❝ you used me… for land development! ❞
❝ you may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can’t fool me! i listen to public radio! ❞
❝ by the powers of naughtiness, i command this particular drop of hot sauce to be really, really hot! ❞
❝ way to go, buddy. it took us three days to make that potato salad. ❞
❝ once, there was an ugly barnacle. he was so ugly that everyone died! the end. ❞
