The Morningstarr*

Woman bitten on the ass by toilet snake

Toilet snake

Noraslinda Asat has developed a fear of using her toilet since a large python bit her backside whilst she was trying to take a shit.

34-year-old Noraslinda, from Eunosville in Malaysia was sitting on her potty taking a well deserved dump when she felt a sharp stinging sensation in her ass. The mother and housewife jumped up from the throne and realised she had a 1.8 metre grumpy…

Corpse’s genitals stolen

Two mortuary attendants and a third man in Zambia were hauled up before a judge this week charged with stealing a dead man’s cock and balls.

Mortician’s Moses Chola and Boston Nyoni along with a third man, Davies Bwali, are suspected of cutting off the reproductive organs of the corpse of one Mervin Kaufman, who died of natural causes. The penis-theft is said to have taken place in November 2012,…

The Morningstarr* Top 42 Fitties 2014 — voting is open

Welcome dear readers to this year’s fantastic 42 fitties poll!

Voting is now open for our annual poll to find out who is the hottest fittie and the fittest hottie on the planet today. The process is simple and painless, just pop the names of the three sexiest ladies you can think of in the form below and the Morningstarr* minions will set about counting up the votes and compiling a definitive…

Scorpion found in supermarket bananas

A female shop assistant got a bit of a scare this week when she found a venomous scorpion skittering about between the bananas.

Angela Parren spotted the predatory arthropod as she stacked fruit at a supermarket in Cornwall. It’s believed the creature, later identified as a juvenile black edged scorpion, stowed away with the bananas all the way from Costa Rica. The three-inch-long critter can…

Pig eats boy’s testicles and anus

In a bizarre mauling incident a large sow has attacked a two-year-old boy and gnawed at his gonads and bunghole.

Oliver Degeder was mauled by the angry pig near his home in Tarkwa Cyanide, Ghana on Friday. The youngster was playing with some other boys when they chanced upon a stray pig who was lying with her piglets in the street. The curious kids took a closer inspection of the piglets, and…

Baby murdered in ritual sacrifice

Locals fear that a murdered child from their village was the victim of a brutal ritual sacrifice.

One-year-old baby, Brian Mulima was snatched in broad daylight from his home in Lwamanya village, Uganda last week. Brian’s mother, Proscovia was just metres away from her son working in the garden when an unknown intruder crept into her house and abducted poor Brian.

Proscovia went to check on her…

Swimmer ripped to shreds by crocodiles

A dim-witted drunken buffoon has been torn to pieces by dozens of crocodiles after deciding to take a swim in a notoriously dangerous Costa Rican river.

32-year-old Nicaraguan, Omar de Jesus Jiron travelled by bus to the Tarcoles River’s main bridge, a popular tourist attraction known for its hordes of basking crocodiles. The area has achieved infamy over the past few years with a number of…

Thousands attend knob tossing event

Thousands of people flocked to Dorset today for their annual knob throwing contest.

In Dorset a knob isn’t the same as it is for you and I, it’s a spherical biscuit which can sometimes resemble a bell-end. Once a year the good folk of Cattistock organise a knob throwing contest to see who can toss their knob the furthest. This year Dave Morrison tossed his knob an incredible 21.8 metres, failing…

Man arrested for drinking his own urine

We’ve all heard of people being arrested for drinking someone else’s urine, but this guy was arrested for drinking his own. Sound unfair?

Apparently the reason 26-year-old Ryan Bravo was arrested by cops in Washington state wasn’t so much due to the fact he drank his own pee, it also had a lot to do with him whipping his pecker out in the middle of a crowded restaurant and filling his mug right…

A soccer fan in Brazil has been killed to death by a toilet. The porcelain potty was launched at the man as he took part in a rowdy brawl outside the Arruda stadium in Recife last night.

Local team Santa Cruz drew 1-1 with visitors Parana and it all kicked-off big time. As groups of opposing fans started knocking seven shades out of each other one reckless rioter tossed a toilet from the stands…

Born on this Day — Emilia Clarke

Happy birthday to Game of Thrones hottie Emilia Clarke who was born on this day 1987 in London.

The 27-year-old fittie is obviously best known for playing the feisty Daenerys Targaryen in HBO’s hit TV series, and she’s soon to be the new Sarah Connor in next year’s Terminator: Genesis.

:wiki: Emilia Clarke — Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

:imdb: Emilia Clarke — IMDb

:forum: Today is the…

Classic albums — The Top (1984)

Believe it or not, it’s been a whole thirty chuffin’ years since the release of The Cure’s transitional fifth studio album, The Top.

The Top was practically a Robert Smith solo album, Simon Gallup had recently left the band, and Lol Tolhurst had the usual minimal input. The album was a follow-up to 1982′s Pornographyand is strikingly less bleak than its predecessor, this is most obvious on the…

Classic albums — Let Love In (1994)

Celebrating its twentieth anniversary this week is Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds’ superb eighth studio album Let Love In.

:wiki: Let Love In (Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds album) — Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

:amazon: Let Love In

Let Love In – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

:forum: Classic albums — Let Love In (1994)

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Classic albums — Mule Variations (1999)

Released on this day 1999 Tom Waits’ incredible twelfth studio album was a moderate commercial and a huge critical success.

The Grammy Award winning record only spawned one single, which was recently covered during an episode of The Walking Dead of all places. Mule Variationswas Waits’ first new material in over five years and delivered just what his fans had been waiting for. In the fifteen…