Haven't posted in a while, heres why.
2016 so far has been an amazing year with adventure, hardship, and strength. I started the year working 54 hours a week and attending my first college semester full time. It was during this time that I lost the love of my life, my great grandmother, Rissy. I broke down and felt the emotional pain physically. God worked it out so that I could be with my family almost immediately. I took 2 weeks off of work and this happened over spring break so I only had to take off one week of school. I spent quality time with my nephew, cousin, and best friend. These 3 amazing people helped me get through this hard time. I think about her everyday and I am so grateful to have had her in my life. I know God and Rissy were up in Heaven filling my heart with joy instead of despair during that difficult time. I returned to Florida and was gifted with the chance to travel the state. Mini vacations between work with some great people took me on an amazing soul searching adventure. Throughout my life i have never been an outdoorsy person but i was able to see some of Gods greatest creations on these spontaneous trips. The trips are not over as i still have so much more discovering to do, even of this beautiful state i now call home. I have in me more passion to see the world than ever before. I am an extremely strong willed being and i will make it happen. Back to life between these amazing trips, i worked and worked even harder to learn in school and i have found out some things about myself that way as well. Like im not as bad at math as i once thought i was. I also learned about a profession that will allow me to travel the world while being where i feel like i belong, a hospital, helping people. I am on track to become a nurse. This may not be easy and i may be denied getting into a nursing program but i am making this promise to myself now to not give up, even if it looks like my dream is on the other side of the universe. This summer i have pushed through summer classes and will continue schooling in the fall. I am in the same work field that i have been in for two years now and i started the year with a company that i whole heartedly believed in. I felt at home. I finally in three years of searching for a work family, i had found one. I woke up in the morning and was happy to go to work with people who i genuinely felt was family. And they still are. But through this company i have learned once again more about myself. I have learned that it only takes one person to rip an entire company apart. A person who i respected and cared about made poor choices and left co workers almost homeless and without electricity. I too went through financial hardship due to this. But thanks to my awesome roommate my family and i were able to make it through. Those were some of the more negative lessons i learned. The positive ones i learned were that it is okay to stand up for myself. Even if it puts people i care about in a difficult situation. I am allowed to be selfish in times where my blood family needs me to be. I am also allowed to stand up for my morals and what i believe in and i dont have to explain myself when i do so. I quit that job. Everything happened so fast but it happened in Gods time and according to His plan. I start a new job tomorrow that offers me more than the last job ever could. And i believe that this is because God planned it to be this way. My family moved over 1000 miles away from home about two weeks before this all happened and i was terrified that we weren't going to make it. But we did. And they were employed and were okay with me taking time away from this stressful company to find something that is better for me. They understood and vowed to take care of me financially if needed. That too was Gods plan, i dont think the pieces would have fallen in place so perfectly if it weren't. During my time off i started to have excruciating pains in my side. I went to the hospital and they sent me home with ibuprofen due to not having health insurance. Luckily my mom is friends with an ER nurse and i called her the next day and told her that the pains were getting worse. She demanded i go back to the hospital and although i was worried about the bills that may come, i was admitted. Through testing they found that my gallbladder had stopped contracting meaning that nothing was able to get through. I had to prepare myself for surgery, prepare myself for something that terrified me in the moment. The nurses kept me comfortable until surgery and I was able to remain very calm (i only cried once during surgery prep!) while the anesthesia was administered. I was able to go home the next day. Now we are here, four days after this health crisis. My dad and my brother were both let go from their temp jobs today, the same day, the day before i start work for a new company that i believe God has placed me in to better myself. And today all i have to say is that i originally started this saying that 2016 has been an extremely difficult year. And to most it would be. And for me it hasnt been the best or the easiest, but it has been the most teaching year. A year where i continue to learn so much more about myself and my strength. A year where i see who is there for me, who really and truly cares. A year where i learn to continue to love myself and treat myself with compassion. A year where when i look back i cant deny that God has placed everything perfectly. All of the pain. All of the joy. All of the tears. All of the love has been perfectly timed for me by Him. About a week ago my best friend back home called me and will soon be moving down to Florida with me to go on more adventures and explore this life even more. I am so glad that i was able to turn this writing around. I am able to see the strength in the struggles. I am truly excited to see what else is in store for me this year.
