perfection's never perfect

“What defines a relationship is the way you fight because when things are good, they’re good pay attention to the way things are when they’re bad and the way he treats you when he’s mad at you or the way he reacts when you’re angry with him and whether it’s “I love you, you idiot” or a door slammed on your fingers.”

“He whispered in my left ear, “I love you” as I reflected myself in my bloody palms. He had one hand around my neck and liquor in the other. He placed his hand upon my back and I could feel a sharp pain through my chest. “Stop breaking my fucking heart!” I screamed. I staggered down the stairs with a bottle one hand and a cigarette in the other. I stumbled across a shattered mirror. Except it wasn’t the mirror that was broken, but the person glazing back at me. I’ve never seen such bloodshot eyes and weak hands. I didn’t recognize the girl looking back at me. Your love changed me. Your lips tasted like medicine and I’ve felt so sick. Your tongue was toxic but I was so thirsty for love. You filled me with cigarette smoke to keep myself together when all I needed was a bottle of wine and sweet words to get me by. Now i’m a ghost filled with memories and secrets you wish you didn’t know. You were no good for me, and you knew I loved trouble. My friends would always check my head for fevers but I was just homesick for you. Now my friends don’t check on me at all because the smell of abuse and alcohol wasn’t their taste. You were dangerous and I loved adventures. I loved all the wrong parts of you and I wish I hadn’t. Your love was poison, and now I drink poison to forget about you.”

“It’s easy to love someone when they’re happy. What’s hard is loving someone when they’re crying on the bathroom floor at 2am because everything came crashing down at once.”

“I am sorry someone loved you badly, and that they made you feel like you take up more space than you deserve. I am sorry they abandoned you when you need them the most and it has made you believe that love is an awful thing that hurts.”