Annals of History

athena “i offer you my friendship, not a loan to be repaid” “my, how very generous of you, to offer me this gift” “are you testing the limits of my patience with you?” “i would very much prefer to think we both know better than to let old grudges stew forever” “yours is a brazen plan of action and i admire it”

demeter “i’ll aid your plight, why not?” “you’re in the winter of your current stretch of life, aren’t you” “surely you feel the warmth within you giving way?” “offend me, and i’ll drain the last traces of color from those cheeks of yours” “you are entirely too young to have had meaningful experiences with loss, pray that you never have to learn”

zeus “your lapse in judgement here is not so easy to forgive, yet easily punished” “commendable of you to live through that” “you seem in dire need of some assistance, so of course i dropped what i was doing and then sought you out as quickly as i could” “such strange alliances we forge these days” “you honour me, as you well should”

poseidon “hoh you look positively in atrocious shape, there” “why, you’re bleeding everywhere! here, let me try and do something for that” “you think that you’ve a chance in hell without my help, am i to understand?!” “it seems to me your strength outweighs your smarts, there” “ah, i can’t stay angry! let us call all that unpleasantness back there water under the bridge, what say you”

aphrodite “if you lavish me with gifts, why, what am i to do but give you something in return” “ah, dearest, but it stirs my heart to know you care so deeply for our wonderful relationship” “dearest, why, your heart rate’s fluctuating wildly, has it really been that bad up to this point?” “now, dearest, surely there’s no way that could have been one of the wiser choices that you’ve lately made?” “do not anger me again, or i might come down and kill you there myself!”

ares “i trust, from time to time, you stop to ask yourself how come you choose to fight” “the hunt is but a prelude to a war, is that not so? “you interrupt me once again, you know i do not care for that, i warn you to stay out of my affairs” “a successfully conducted war is certainly a cause for celebration, is it not?” “i trust the violence i have wrought on your behalf has been quite satisfactory?”

dionysus “hey, cheers for picking up the tab, there, now, i cannot exactly pay you back, though i could give you this!” “did i do something to deserve this, man, because i thought that we were getting on just fine, better than fine, but this?” “really, man? after everything we’ve been through together, this is the gratitude i get?” “know what, man, i’m not even angry after that, what was i even going off about, do you recall…?” “let’s say we’re settled up now, and go on being best mates just like before, yeah?”

hermes “whoa you’re a hot mess, there, what happened getting here?” “you ever get the feeling life’s been moving all too quickly for you? “out of all special delivery recipients i’ve had over the ages, here, i’ve got to say, you’re the most interesting one!” “a little awkward, having to pretend we just met” “you’re rather slow, if only somebody could help you out with that”

From Bioware’s ‘Dragon Age 2′. (One (1) from Inquisition.) As per usual, feel free to change pronouns or whatever you so please.   Warnings! Mentions of & implications: food, violence, death.

► 𝐃𝐈𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂.

“ When in doubt, run away, and let me handle it. ”

“ Looks like a fight! Be ready! ”

“ May Andraste guide you. ”

“ I’m just here to talk. ”

“ I don’t know if I can pull this off. ”

“ It’s not a choice everyone has. ”

“ I figured there’d at least be free food. ”

“ Thank you for not breaking his legs. ”

“ I’m happy with who I am. ”

“ I do what I can. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like enough. ”

► 𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂.

“ No worries, everything is dandy now. ”

“ Just act like you know where you’re going, that’s usually enough. ”

“ For a slaughtering ground, it’s actually rather pretty. ”

“ Are you about to die? Am I? Why so serious all of a sudden? ”

“ It’s far more entertaining if I don’t. ”

“ Can you save someone so intent on being foolish? ”

“ We could bring him back as the undead, and then kill him again. ”

“ ‘Don’t touch anything’ is usually an invitation to touch everything. ”

“ ‘It cannot be a coincidence’? It sounds exactly like a coincidence! ”

“ Don’t the stories mention my stunning good looks? What about my cunning wit? ”

“ I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation. I just can’t think of it right now. ”

“ Wow. Your problems make mine seem small. ”

“ Helping people and killing people are what I’m best at. ”

“ Good to know you’re barking mad. That makes things easier. ”

“ I’ve been wondering when you’d come back to bite me in the ass. ”

“ I thought you’d be taller. ”

“ At least we’re alive. That’s no small feat. ”

“ Can’t anyone fix their own lives around here? ”

“ I’m just here for the rat-flavored whiskey. ”

“ You should see the look on your face. ”

“ If I held a grudge against everyone who attacked me in a dream, I’d have no friends. ”

“ I hear a ‘but’ coming. ”

“ If this is the afterlife, the Chantry owes me an apology. This looks nothing like the Maker’s bosom. ”

► 𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄.

“ They say your life flashes in front of your eyes before you die. ”

“ I don’t know or care who you are, but you need to step back right now. ”

“ I’ll tear his throat out myself. ”

“ The elves deserve justice. ”

“ Always money in saving fools. ”

“ I think a bloody response is in order. ”

“ You should have known better. ”

“ Don’t go making promises you can’t keep. ”

“ Thinking about what might have been is pointless. ”

“ Solve your own problem. ”

“ You always were a good liar. ”

“ If you’re looking for trouble, you’ve found it. ”

“ Feel better getting that off your chest? ”

“ You know I hate it when you do that. ”

“ If they hurt you I’ll make them regret it. ”

“ It does feel like some unseen force is manipulating my fate. ”

“ Hmm, I didn’t think you cared. ”

“ You think I asked for this? ”

“ I just want to get out of here. Alive, if possible. ”

“ Vermin always flock to dark places. ”

“ Yes, inviting you to a party is an insidious punishment I’ve been planning for months. ”

“ Without risk, there’s no reward. ”