Untitled.

some nerd: source????

me: 

me: ??????

me:

so you know how millions of years ago life on this planet tended to be *enormous*? like, after dinos we got ridiculously massive mammals like the indricotherium:

and we got freakin giant apes

and giant fucking camels (Titanotylopus)

well naturally ancient ocean life was 1000x scarier. absolute nightmare fuel. it wasn’t enough that we got terrifying GIANT FUCKING MEGALODON SHARKS

no there was also bullshit like styxosaurus just running around. for NO REASON

look at this bullshit

even the fucking whales were terrifying. wtf Basilosauruses NO ONE asked for

oh wait don’t let me forget that even boring fucking FISH couldn’t be normal

unnecessary and unhelpful. 

I hope i have made a point. the largest animals in the history of the world are now extinct and fuck you PETA i am GRATEFUL for that. i just, i have enough shit to deal with in the world as it is. i don’t think it’s fair to make me deal with that too, i really don’t. so good riddance. 

Except. Blue. Whales.

did i say the largest animals in history? NOPE ACTUALLY THAT WOULD BE THIS FUCKER

This Utter.

Blue.

Bastard.

Life on this planet is 4 billion years old and the relatively recent accursed Blue Whale is the largest animal to have existed in all that time. I hate and resent that, and this is why blue whales are tied with late-stage capitalism as one of my Top 3 All Time Fears. Good day to you.