Within Our Dreams, We Wake

Memories Trapped in Time. 18+

Insert Chapter (new 12) snippet : Coming soon more insert chapters because this isn't Ikea and I can build it how I want.

It's not all kisses and bloody roses between these two. Astarion pushes Aloria too far and the consequences are revealing.

Warning: Language and big feelings.

“Is that the real reason?” He asked. Allowing distrust to coat his voice like barbed wire.

Aloria looked up at him.

“What?”

“You won’t support me because the future is muddled? As if this entire adventure of ours has been somehow scripted.”

“I just don’t feel like we have all the information yet Astarion. You are basing your decision on what we’ve been told by a devil with a flair for storytelling. He could know more and be purposely leaving out details that could completely change the outcome. I’m not trying to fill you with doubt; I’m trying to look out for you. Something is missing. I can feel it.”

His face was neutral, but his voice was accusing.

“So you say. But I know how you move. Ever the hero.” He turned so he was facing her more fully. “Are you certain it is not because I would be a true vampire and thus unworthy of your approval?”

Adrenaline spiked through her. Partly for being called out on her true fear and partly for the fact that he was starting to talk to her from a place of arrogance.

“As someone who bedded you, fed you and befriended you that sounds like a hypocrisy I wouldn’t participate in.”

“Everyone fucks me.” He said matter-of-factly. “You’re nothing special.”

The statement left his mouth before he could stop it. It shot across the space between them like a magic missile that hit her hard.

The blatant disregard for her worth struck a familiar nerve. Her first thought was to flee. Remove herself and hope the space would cool his tongue. The second was to bargain. Argue that he wasn’t seeing her correctly. The third was to do what she never did in these types of situations.

Retaliate.   

She could still see Astarion. She could still sense the room but the inner voice that often told her to submit for the sake of safety was not the one with her now. She felt like she was watching from inside an avatar she had no control over anymore.

“Is that what I did? Fucked you? Held you down in the dirt and had my way? Funny, that’s not how I remember it.”

Astarion blinked. He had seen her angry in a battle, but this wasn’t anger. It was defiance. And it was stunning.   

“Am I wrong? You are certain that stepping into my full vampiric glory wouldn’t be an abomination to your heroic nature? You are, after all, such a very good girl.”

The side of Aloria’s mouth curled up into a derisive grin.  

“Well, Pardon me while I fuck up your self-serving reality with my so called good nature oh would be heir of the dark throne.”

“There you are. Show me your teeth lover.” He thought to himself as he fought the urge to bite his lower lip.

The clap back excited him. Provoked him. Made him want to push harder just to feel the sharp edges of her boundaries as she stood to face him.

“Yes. I am concerned that once you do this you will be a true vampire. You yourself said true vampires are paranoid, power-hungry beasts. Gave miles of detailed commentary about how violent and depraved Cazador is. Do you think I want to help you seize some fancy throne surrounded by all the wealth of the world just to watch you go bat shit crazy and start hurting innocent people?”

“I will not be HIM!” He snarled. Anger breaking the surface of his resolve at being compared to his master. “Cazador is weak! Utterly insane and incapable of wielding power. I will be better. I will not deny may nature, but I do not seek to be perverse.”

“Will you make your own spawn?”

“In time. Yes. It would be pointless to be a lord with no one to rule.”

“How did Cazador become a master vampire? And his master before him? And before that and before that and before that?”

Anger stirred in his guts at her line of questioning.

“If you have a point, do get to it soon.”

“They were killed by their own heirs! And you venture to continue that cycle. Regardless of how powerful you think this might make you, the pattern of violence will continue. The slave seeks freedom from the master.”

“You seem certain I will abuse them to the point of rebellion. How disappointing to hear my lover thinks me a monster. Perhaps you have always thought that of me.”

“Don’t you dare speak for me!” She spat and pushed further into his space. “This power is demonic at its core! How many demons have we met we haven’t had to kill?!”

“And how many fights have we lost?! If you are afraid then say so! Stop using me as an excuse to be a coward! It’s beneath you!”

“A coward?! I’m a coward?! Oh, that’s rich coming from you! You narrow sighted, self-righteous,.... sexual intellectual!”

“Who’s calling who righteous?! Admit it! You are simply making up reasons to stop me because you fear losing control of me!”

“I FEAR LOSING YOU PERIOD!”

She panted with the effort to stay present. To stop the rage that slammed the chained doors of her subconscious like a massive beast desperate to escape.

See me…      

I have and I.T. savvy friend. Very driven, very brilliant in his field. He knew I was a writer and was excited to present me with his new program he made with me in mind. To "make it easier to write."

"Really? What is it? A super spell checker? Because I have a real issue putting letters together in the right order."

It was an AI generated scenario builder. It was a well made program. But I was heartbroken to see how encompassing it was. You typed in a few things and it built the entire story for you. Characters, their arcs, flaws, ambitions. Plot lines, pivots, action sequences. There was nothing left for the author to do but take it all and plop the pieces down like a puzzle to make it whole. It took away the entire creative process. He may have built it with me in mind, but he wasn't thinking about me as a creator. He inadvertently created something to replace me vs help me.

My first intrusive thought was to abandon my stories because my meat suit processors would never be able to come up with so much so fast. Eventually it would. After kicking around ideas, walking around talking to myself, writing down notes of sudden inspiration, stressing over if I was being true to fan fic character traits, trial and errors for months on end. But not instantly like this thing could. What was the point in continuing when he had just proven my methods to create were obsolete?

The best I could do was say "I'm glad it was a success for you. Its a good scenario creator for a table top D&D game. And I think those who would like to be considered a writer but don't have access to their own imaginations would find it useful."

Shitty nice.

I'm not shaming him for it. He didn't do it to be cruel. That is what he does. Creates AI programs. He was genuinely excited and believed it would be of use to me. Perspective being the multifaced thing that it is, he never stopped to wonder if it would be unsettling to someone who likes to create from scratch.

It feels like raw creative spirit is flickering out. Ready made and cranked out like Ikea furniture. Cheap and quick to satisfy. Never fully satiating the hunger of consuming something home made.

What my OC sees when his eyes glow with “garnet lust” in my fan fic.

Chapter 13: Sanctuary (snippet) 18+

Aww what were the odds they got lucky on lucky number 13. This chapter is mostly 8k worth of smut. No real break down other than they get down. Eventually. Because it's them and shit happens all the time.

It is highly detailed, in my opinion, so if you don't like to get too deep I would advise skipping this chapter. Also, I write elements of Ascended Astarion into Spawn Astarion because regardless of if he ascends or not those traits are still in him. And they are so much fun to explore.

Break down is: Love and smut.

____________________

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”  

“That?! Of all the things you could do. You couldn’t wait to bite me? I’m still not convinced you don’t have a serious brain injury.”

“I’m perfectly fine. Well, except for having an Ilithid worm in my head. And…well…gosh this is embarrassing.”

“What is?”

“I think I might have a crush on you.” She said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

His face brightened into a wide fanged smile.

“Really?! Well, I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised. It’s to be expected. I mean, have you seen me?”

Aloria’s face scrunched in realization.

“Damn it! I knew we forgot something!”

“What?”

“The bag to put over your head. We can’t do this now.”

She dropped her arms and turned to walk away from him. His hand shot out to grab her and pull her back in.

His fingers danced across her body to the tune of rapid-fire admonishments. Her signature squeaky giggles flooded his ears as she turned in his arms and fought to keep his hands away from the places he knew would pitch her into a fit of laughter if he reached them.

He found joy in her silly nature where he often hadn’t tolerated it in anyone else. An unexpected side effect of being around her. One he hoped would last.

He pinned her against him with an arm around her ribs and nuzzled her ear.

“Putting your back to me is a deadly mistake my dear.”

“Is it?”

She arched her back to push her ass into his groin. Her hand wandered back to tangle in his hair. She was briefly reminded of the evening he had gifted her the cuff knife.

His hand wrapped around her neck. His breath was heavy against her ear.

“Taunting a vampire comes with its costs, my love.”

“And what will I owe?”

He ran his tongue firmly along the edge of her ear before pressing his lips against it. His voice was low and threatening.

Just a quick little story about how my OC handled the Oblodra situation in Moonrise Towers. I needed a break from my overly detailed 8K and rising smut chapter. Anyway. Enjoy!

Warning: Violence. Bullying and Strong language. 18+

~~~~~~~

Araj stammered backwards into the table. Sending both her and various bottles clattering to the ground.

Aloria had a hand around her armor strap and was yanking her forward before the alchemist could process she was no longer standing.  

“Understand this you nepotistic, brain washed Underdark slag. These PEOPLE follow me because I have earned their trust and respect. Not because I was born with some bullshit name that demands it.”

“What is that supposed to mean to me you male sympathizing sun slut!?” She spat.

Aloria pushed into her space close enough she could smell the feted undertone Astarion had complained about.

“It means my clit is bigger than yours."

Araj shifted uncomfortably under Aloria's intense gaze.

"You so much a breath disrespectfully around any of those I protect, I will make it my new true soul purpose to give you more blood than you could ever hope to have. And you needn’t worry about the source...”

Aloria smeared a drip of blood that trailed down from a cut on Araj’s eyebrow across her lips and sneered as she recoiled from the taste of it.

“Because it will all be yours.”

Araj wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as Aloria released her and stepped back.  

“Now, apologize to him.”

The look she gave Astarion dripped with distain.   

“Apologize? To a slave? I’d rather die…”

Aloria had her bow loaded and fired before the Drow could finish the sentence. The arrow made a dull thump sound as it sunk into the rotten table close enough to her face to cut her hair.

"Sorry, hands a little sore."

The second arrow was already pulled and aimed slightly in.

“WAIT! DOMINA!” Araj shouted as she covered her face with her arm.

Aloria lowered the bow and waited.

“I’m sorry I was disrespectful to you, spaw...Astarion. I did not know you were an…equal.”

Astarion fidgeted. Unsure wither to be flippant or just accept to defuse the situation.

“Forgiven. But let this be a lesson that topside true souls do not bow to Drow traditions.”

Aloria grabbed Araj by her armor again and forced her to her feet. She took a moment to right her skewed breast plate then walked away. Leaving the Drow completely shaken and confused.

Aloria hadn’t planned on confronting the alchemist but the way she had spoken to Astarion had angered her to the point of blindness. She hated confrontation. But she hated people who felt entitled to just take what they wanted from others more.

She knew she did the right thing by defending her friends. But she was pissed that she even had to.

Standing up to others in such a direct way also left her with a surplus of adrenaline in her veins. The memory of setting justifiable boundaries only to be punished added to her anxiety and drove her need to be as far away from the stench of that tower as soon as possible.

She was on the verge of a panic attack and she didn't want her companions to see it.

"Some "hero" you are." She mentally chastised herself. "Running away from your own feelings. What a charlatan."

She was already back in the main hall when Astarion caught up to her.

“Well. That was certainly a show. Did you see her face? She really thought you were going to kill her."

“Mmmhum.”

She flexed the hand she had used to punch Araj. Using the pain to distract her from her wild emotions.    

Astarion didn’t have to ask if she was okay. He could smell that she wasn’t. The bittersweet scent of anger and fear rolled off her in waves.

Thinking better of continuing to use wit to defuse the situation like he always did, he dropped back and let her go.   

“Damn.” Karlach said, standing next to Astarion to watch Aloria ascend the stairs to leave. “I wish I had someone to lose their shit over me like that.”

“Odd that you assume that she wouldn’t have done the same if it was you.” Shadowheart said as she walked past them to keep Aloria in her sight.   “Yeah. I guess you are right. But that felt "personal" personal.”

Guilt rose in Astarion's throat like bile. That was the third time she had stood up for him. The third time she had proven she saw him as a person and not a thing to be used.

He couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t important to him anymore. Couldn't pretend that she only kept him around for his looks and sexual abilities. She didn't. And she deserved better.

Karlach bumped Astarion's arm with her elbow.

"Lucky fucker. Nothing to say about what just happened? Our leader just busted someone's chops for you."

Astarion said the only thing he could think of as Aloria and Shadowheart disappeared over the landing.