Luna 🦋 | sporatically active

-that „comfort“ lasts 10min, the guilt lasts 10h

-you‘ve been through worse, you don’t need this

-you‘ll regret it the second it’s over, don’t give in

-you want control? this is where it starts

-food won‘t shut your brain up, it‘ll make it scream louder

-you promised yourself more, act like it

-to be in control

-to be thin

-to be the skinniest person in your family and friendgroup

-to see your bones sticking out

-to be light as a feather

-to fit in size XS

-to look angelic

-to be pale

-that „comfort“ lasts 10min, the guilt lasts 10h

-you‘ve been through worse, you don’t need this

-you‘ll regret it the second it’s over, don’t give in

-you want control? this is where it starts

-food won‘t shut your brain up, it‘ll make it scream louder

-you promised yourself more, act like it

-to be in control

-to be thin

-to be the skinniest person in your family and friendgroup

-to see your bones sticking out

-to be light as a feather

-to fit in size XS

-to look angelic

-to be pale

She looked at me and went "we're still not skinny??"

I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s really fucking hard and awful. However, it’s easier than having to face my life and the things I hate about it. It’s easier than having to deal with the trauma I went through.

I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s easier to focus on my weight and what I eat because it gives me a sense of control I never had my whole life. It’s a good distraction to live in a fantasy world where if I just lose enough weight, everyone will adore me. Instead of the cruelness I’ve faced so far. I get to change something about myself, because I hate myself. Romanticize it, because if I don’t, I’d kill myself.

- aren’t uw

- don’t fast

- do high res

- have never fainted

- labs are okay

- like food

- binge / “lose control”

- don’t exercise

- don’t purge

- eat sweets / junk