"Just because I'm right, doesn't mean I'm being helpful" is a vastly underrated thought process that I strongly encourage others to get comfortable with

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@moonhikari
"Just because I'm right, doesn't mean I'm being helpful" is a vastly underrated thought process that I strongly encourage others to get comfortable with

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accepting the whole autism thing has actually brought me so much calm, because when I was kid everyone seemed instinctively repulsed by me and I never understood why. ESPECIALLY the adults! which is a little fucked, because who are you supposed to go to about bullying if the teacher is participating? and even my family members seemed disgusted by me on some level, so I was like a cartoon parody of a human being where my closest friends were my pet rats. but reading studies on autism now, and learning about the double empathy problem, and about how neurotypical people ARE repulsed by autistic people in an uncanny valley sort of way and DO dislike them upon first encountering them (unless, ironically enough, they’re told that they’re autistic) - that’s actually been so cathartic. especially now that I’m older and have an okay-ish handle on masking, and so am no longer live in a nightmare world where literally everyone in my life seems icked the fuck out. I don’t have to discount my early memories. I can be like ohhhhh yeah that’s just something that happens. I didn’t do anything particularly bad and it’s not that I wasn’t trying, I was just born with the cursed sigil on my forehead. like ohhhhh they were reacting to the curse, ohhh okay, cool cool, that’s actually fine. I’m actually alright with that.
it also helps to look at old photos, because it’s like jesus christ, that’s literally just a little kid. like nobody that small should think that they’re that hated

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Eu sinto que não fui feita pra ser a paixão de ninguem
Eu sinto que sempre vou ser aquele amor tranquilo e acolhedor, mas nunca aquela paixão sufocante e avassaladora. Sou sempre o amor que serve para amadurecer o outro, pra fazê-lo aprender e evoluir e depois ser a paixão de verdade de um outro alguém quando a minha fase acabar. E ela sempre acaba. Comigo, são sempre essas situações de “só amor não é o suficiente”. São sempre essas situações do “não era pra ser”. “Era um amor muito jovem”, “serviu de aprendizado”. E eu ensino outro a amar, ensino tudo o que precisa ser ensinado pra que ele possa finalmente ser o alguém pra outro alguém. Enquanto eu fico aqui, cheia de amores tranquilos e calmos. Amores de aprendizado. Amores de amadurecimento. Amores de processos, mas nunca amores de finais. Amores de pra sempre.

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eu queria que a pessoa que eu amo não me deixasse ansiosa dessa forma, eu só queria que as coisas não fossem assim, fico pensando o tempo todo se isso é incompatibilidade ou se o amor é dessa forma mesmo
Talvez eu estivesse
Precisando de ajuda hoje
E eu pedi
E voce foi embora

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A verdade é que ninguém liga de verdade
A verdade é que nem é tão importante
A verdade é que você nem é tão lembrada
A verdade é que só você se esforça
A verdade é que você tá sempre sozinha
A verdade é que você não tem família
A verdade
É que ninguém vai te salvar