A collection of fanish things

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Latin_phrases

inspired by “Asteroid”

it only took them exactly 80 chapters, but qifrey and olruggio did finally manage to have the kind of conversation over tea they probably should have had back in chapter 9, so they could have talked things through in private and presented a united front for the kids lol. qifrey literally putting coco between them and using her as a human shield a bit is still one of his quietly worst moments to me interpersonally (affectionate). 'being as mad at me as you should rightfully be allowed to be about this unhinged situation I've dropped in your lap is scaring an innocent child olly please lower your voice 🥺' well why is that innocent child here to hear this unavoidably fraught conversation qifrey fhsadkj. we're all looking for whoever did this. his emotional blackmail game is simply on another level

I think that's why olruggio underlines his role as watchful eye so bitterly in his first scene, aside from the necessary exposition it provides at that point in the story -- qifrey certainly isn't treating him like a friend, nevermind a partner, someone he's chosen to live and raise children with. it's only with jujy's little speech about friendship in chapter 39 that olly really goes '...you know what fuck it he IS still my friend no matter how he's acting and I get to have that matter, he isn't getting rid of me that easy' and unleashes his full sky's kindest most radiant star form in chapter 40. to tragic results as usual but I think it was good for him to get to have that moment anyway; it seemed like he'd maybe been building to a bit of a crisis point of frustration and distress about the state of their relationship and qifrey keeping him at an increasing distance even before qifrey came home with a new kid and a forbidden magic jumpscare. (on qifrey's side there's of course the building horror and desperation of his deteriorating sight and being unable to find any leads on the brimhats, both for his own and his immediate family's sake, and the absolute bullshit he knows they're cooking up out there. and knowing, always knowing, that he's hurting olruggio seemingly no matter what he does. if he involves him more he'll have to carry out the violation of the mindwipe more regularly, in keeping him at a distance he's safer from that but the sense of loss and 'what happened, what did I do, where did you go?' ache with no recourse grows ever deeper. I'd have trouble staying connected in that relationship no matter the love that's always beneath too)

and then of course by chapter 89 the conversation is fully in mutual 'hey babe do you think we should we renew our vows...? <3' territory haha. I do think chapter 40 was a bit of a wakeup call for qifrey as to the state of his marriage as it were lol he does seem to actively work to get it together more after that and get fairer to olruggio in how he does things, even given the terrible framework he has to operate within. the two scenes are like... chapter 9 is 'one' with johnny cash, chapter 89 is 'it's all coming back to me' (either version I guess but I've got a weak spot for the meatloaf and marion ravn one). do you see what I mean.

(olly being placed right in front of the fireplace on the left there tho, almost like it's springing from his head -- that despite the tension he's brought into the story he's also immediately identified with the warming comfort of the fire after the rain... the manga is already quietly like 'no biggie but this guy is literally the hearth the house is built around. I just thought you should know' and I think that's neat)

The kindness, the warmth, the goofiness, the flash and brilliance, the bursts of perhaps worrying intensity bordering on desperation ala ‘y’know I know what I said but I think it’s time to just burn this whole fucking forest down’ or ‘you’re okay I’m okay (I can still be a witch I can save people I have to save everyone)’; those are all also true. But I think this is at the heart, and it shines through to where we can see so rarely. He’s been at this for a long time: he had hiding it down to an art already at the tender age of like eleven. If you’re anything like me, he’ll have you as a reader bought into it for the longest time, even when you’re really paying attention and love this kind of character. I don’t think it’s coincidental that the chapter 77 cover is for a part of the story where his ability to present himself, play a certain role (the one of a witch, of a competent adult, the person who can come in and help and not need help themselves) is compromised by a broken, traumatized part of his mind getting triggered and roaring to the surface on him, and it makes him stare into nothing, lose focus. Something frozen and watchful lives under the surface.   

A thing about Olruggio is that he knows who he is, I think -- indeed, his whole plan for keeping Qifrey TreeFree TM is predicated on self-knowledge, his understanding of how he himself will think and feel and behave. (See also that one cover that’s Olruggio in the middle of changing frames while staying completely constant himself etc.) And as a child he chose a very different path to get to keep his self than Richeh did, for example: where she stubbornly, bravely, held on to herself in the face of everything that wanted to dismantle her, in active defiant opposition, Olruggio hid his real self where no one could find it or suspect it even existed, that what they were getting from him wasn’t it. It’s somewhere in there behind the smile. He will slip away like so much smoke if you try to get too close. But there is one person in the world he wants to be seen by and to see completely. 

That's a layer of tragedy with the whole Olufrey situation that gets me so badly — not only Qifrey, who wanted so badly to never have to lie again to Olly specifically, but also that Olruggio can never be completely honest even with the person he loves the most because Qifrey can't receive it or reciprocate as things stand right now. (because. of the fucking tree. we always return. to the fucking tree. the tree is the metaphor for trauma and how it can put down roots and linger in us lest we forget but also. a fucking tree.) He is who he is these days partially because it’s who Qifrey needs him to be, it’s what (it seems like) Qifrey can handle from him. Olruggio of the Torch is his public persona, Olly is his private persona... and there *is* something else and more under that too. Something which I don't think anyone but maybe Qifrey at the end of it all would be allowed to see or know, but that nevertheless aches to be Beheld and safe in that beholding.

which is not to say that I think Atelier Olly is like a fake thing he puts on or anything -- it's certainly much closer to the truth than Mr. of the Torch haha. Far nearer the heart of the onion as it were. But. There's a little bit of a lie only a friend would tell to it. Which like… not even a bad, manipulative, always undesirable or entirely unhealthy thing necessarily! There are parts of yourself that have no place in your relationship with your children for example. You don't want to expose them to the rawness of your trauma — that's not their responsibility or within their capacity to hold. As he himself says, there are lessons he’s in no hurry to teach them. It's not inherently an act of deception or sign of ill health in itself to exist in many layers; that’s just being a person. (hey. guess who olly is the main foil for btw. lmao. mr frames within frames of himself logging on to the containing multitudes contest and finding only one credible opponent: his best friend and other half of his soul. Unstoppable force marries immovable object and make a perpetual motion machine of misery out of it to use as life support news at 11.)

i've made a few posts about how i think olruggio still knows qifrey is a silvertree host. you can find that here if you're interested. i think the memory spell was a stop gap until olruggio can cure qifrey fully of the silvertree. and i talked a bit about how his seal is different from the knights moralis seal here. this is kind of a continuation of the knights moralis post.

i can't stop thinking about how many inconsistencies there are with this spell.

so the way olruggio explains it. you gather tears cried over a bitter memory to create a special mixture for the seal.

and just like that you can wipe a person's mind of the memory behind the tears.

of the memory behind the tears.

the tears are important here. the tears determine what memories are wiped away. with olly's explanation, qifrey's tears are the reason the spell would take away his memories of this specific silvertree event.

because olly captured qifrey's tears over the event, olly can use those tears to create the seal that will wipe olly's memory of the same event.

fast forward to chapter 40, qifrey doesn't even mention the silvertree. he mentions that they went to the tower of tomes. olruggio (who is sweating as if he's lying btw) says yeah only you made it inside. then qifrey explains how he learned about the brimcaps plot from what he found inside the tower.

this is apparently all new information. qifrey doesn't mention any of this to olly when they're kids and the silvertree incident happens.

my point here is that qifrey's spell isn't operating like olruggio's did. if qifrey wanted to wipe olly's mind of the brimcaps plan, he would have needed the special mixture for the ink. he would have needed a tear from him (or olly) in that moment to create a special ink to draw the seal with. and just like that you can wipe a person's mind of the memory behind the tears. THE MEMORY BEHIND THE TEARS. the tears specify what memory is erased.

and qifrey does not collect tears, draw a seal, and then use it on olruggio. qifrey uses a seal that has been pre-drawn, he keeps it in his cap. he simply completes the circle. who knows what kind of ink he's using, but he's using the exact seal olly did when they were kids.

so if qifrey's using the same seal, how is he creating the ink? he would need different ink for different memories. and sure, qifrey could continually use his own tears over the silvertree incident to keep wiping olruggio's mind of that memory, but what is happening during all the other wipes after qifrey offers different information.

unless qifrey is collecting tears each time, redrawing the seal, and THEN using is on olly, it doesn't work like olly explains.

something that drives me crazy about ch. 40 is the seal itself changes. at first the spikes on the left arrow point down. and then the next time we see it, the spikes point up.

is it just a continuity issue?? seems likely, but that's such a big detail to miss! that feels like it would change how the spell works. really not sure about this, i don't have enough context to say it's anything other than a continuity issue.

anyway we see another instance of someone trying to wipe memories from a specific moment.

easthies wants to wipe everyone's memory of the night the leach attacked the city. the seal we see doesn't seem to have the arrows that olly+qifrey's does. easthies definitely isn't using tears to draw a special seal.

meaning you can wipe someone's memory of a specific event without the use of a special mixture. so why would olly use the special mixture instead of the one easthies uses? he's in the tower of tomes. surely he could have found both spells if it's what his heart desired. why does he need the special ink if a way to wipe specific memories already exists. why would he pick the harder way.

there are just so many ways olly can circumvent the circumstances during the initial silvertree incident. he could have a counter seal tucked away somewhere qifrey can't see, he could write something down in his palm quire to remind himself later, something about the seal itself might not be what he said it would be. and why does he use the tears. what do the tears actually do?

OLRUGGIO STILL HAS HIS MEMORIES I TELL YOU!!!

and don't forget we see qifrey describe olly like this:

i keep finding more evidence that maybe olly never forgot the silvertree incident... more on that here if you're interested + speculation on how things could manifest in the future here.

but i realized that the story shows us what a memory wipe spell that only wipes a period of time away looks like. the story explains the memory wipe spells that the silverwhite pennant can use.

and that seal is not the same on that olly uses. it's similar, but definitely different.

his has more dots up top and more rings around that one focal point... and the arrows! olly's are flipped upside down! the arrow spikes on his point down while the arrow spikes on the pennant point up.

the left side of the seal on the silverwhite pennant is deliberately covered up. what if it's because on the silverwhite pennant seal we'd see both arrows pointing to the left.

olly's seal has one pointed left and one pointed right. maybe it's like an uno reverse card? he loses his memory, but only temporarily.

edit: i've added onto this theory here by comparing olly's seal to the knights moralis one + what could happen as this unravels here

re-reading the chapters that show the flashback of qifrey and olly as kids i can't help but think there's more to olly's idea of having his memory wiped to save quifrey...

there's an ever present theme of olly and lying throughout the series.

one of the first things olly teaches qifrey is how to smile to sell a lie

and one of the first things that stood out to me when olly was presenting his idea about the memory wipe to qirey was how much olly is smiling...

olly giving qifrey thee same smile qifrey gives him later...

maybe he's smiling so hard to make qifrey feel better, but maybe he's smiling so hard cause he needs qifrey to believe his half-truth.

"just think of it as telling lies only a friend would make" can work both ways. and "you told me i wouldn't have to lie to anymore" well, maybe qifrey's lie was never really a lie in the first place. not really. it was apart of the plan.

we never see olly go into the tower, we never see what he found in there. he goes in there with the knowledge that the memory wipes are what has fixed this before. he's going in for a way to help qifrey that doesn't involve wiping qifrey's memory.

also, olly's trip to the tower is timed. he needs to get there, find a solution, and get back before the tree fully takes over qifrey. he doesn't have a lot of time to figure this all out in. the circumstances couldn't be more stressful.

so what if his memory wipe solution is just a stop gap. he finds bits and pieces about the silvertreee in the tower that could help him, but he doesn't have the time to fully put it together or figure out a spell to get rid of the silvertree. so instead, he comes up with the memory wipe idea to buy himself time.

and maybe the plan is partially true, maybe he does lose his memory, but maybe not permanently. maybe there's something about his seal that means at the end of the day, he does remember about the silvertree.

and in the meantime, his plan works. it turns qifrey back. qifrey's guilty conscious keeps the tree at bay.

you cut to the scene with olly waking up after the memory wipe.... who wakes up with one eye open 🤔 and the "peep" is so suspicious. he's peeping to make sure it's a good time to pretend to wake up. qifrey's away from him so he can sell the lie better.

and the story shows us what a lil lying scamp he is. no problem lying to the teachers to sneak out.

+ the way we get his perspective on lying...

sometimes in life you just have to lie!

he'll stop lying when qifrey is safe.

olly knows how much qifrey wants to keep him safe. he knows qifrey wouldn't allow him to spend all his time trying to get rid of the silvertree completely. better yet, knowing olly was trying to figure this out, knowing that olly knows about the silvertree and still has hope to fix it, would only make qifrey feel safe. olly had to lie to him so qifrey doesn't take any comfort from the situation.

and it keeps happening right? olly will "figure it out" and they repeat the process. he reacts the exact same every time... almost like he's following a script. and we've established he's a good ass liar so he knows he can sell it.

like of course he forgives you ever time. he's lying to you worse. and maybe olly can tell when the tree is getting bad, he can tell when qifrey is bad. so olly's revelations always come when qifrey need a reset with the tree.

the spell qifrey uses to wipe olly's memory is the spell olly himself created.

maybe there's something hidden in that sigil that qifrey can't see.

i think it's notable that olly's spell looks different to the other mind wipe spells we see.

or maybe, the spell olly first created had an element that the one qifrey replicated didn't. maybe the subsequent memory wipes are real, but the first one isn't and so olly remembers what he needs to.

throughout the story we're reminded that olly is brilliant. he's an inventor. who else would be able to invent a spell or a cure for the silvertree if not him?

and fast forward to when they're adults. olly never sleeps and drinks too much. bc he's stressed about building contraptions on a deadline, which i'm sure plays into it, but what if he's also never sleeping bc he's also trying to research the silvertree. he's trying to handle his responsibilities as a witch while researching what is probably forbidden magic or maybe researching something that hasn't been done before.

and he drinks too much bc the guilt of his lie is killing him too. qifrey feels miserable about lying to olly but olly's lie is even bigger. he's running himself into the ground with researching the silvertree and attending to his other responsibilities. and he drinks bc it's taking so long for him to figure out. he's angry with himself for not having a solution yet. but i don't think it's ever been done before. it'll take time. maybe there's a component he needs that he can't find.

there's this line utowin says to olly about how he would never lie, right? bc he lied about where euini is, but again maybe there's an overarching theme here. olly is a liar. he is qifrey's watchful eye but does he ever tell the truth in the way he's supposed to? does he report on everything he should be reporting on in his atelier? hmm no.

and at one point qifrey even says "i thought you'd be good at lying". well! maybe olly is good at lying! he taught you how to lie after all, but again this theme of olly + lying is discussed.

"the only books it lets you find and leave with... are the ones your heart is looking for." he left with books in his pocket that give him some of the information he needs, but olly himself has to be the one to find the solution, but his heart would have been looking for a way to fix qifrey.

Lucriaza appears to trained the Geisterdamen specifically to fight the Skifander warriors.

And Zeetha and Bangladesh worked out counter attacks to Lucriaza's special moves.

I know people have already talked about the chapter 89 hug but it gets me because it's such a fantastically devastating visual microcosm of their relationship.

The interesting thing about this hug is that while it's a gesture out of relief (since they don't even know each other yet) it's very indicative of the kind of future closeness they'll eventually develop.

And yet, because they are hugging, they cannot see each other's faces in this scene.

mandatory report to the watchful eye

hey look its my only inheritance from my late aunt

by which i mean no she didn't leave me anything BUT she did leave behind a store credit on a merchandise card that was enough to pay for a refurbished sewing machine so that's ALMOST like an inheritance right

anyway i have a question

how would you buy this much fabric. i have a selection of places that sell clearance fabric and its all 'by the yard' but how does that figure into enough fabric to make a simple skirt?

ETA: HOLY SHIT WHERE DID I GET 950CM? LIKE FR WHERE. 380cm. not..... what i wrote. what.

like, a basic circle skirt is two pieces of long fabric that's taken in at the top. (this and pockets are the only things I've ever sewn)

He claims to be a robotic mascot being controlled from an office. The rest of the cast seem to both accept and not accept that as an explanation. And they're more or less okay with whatever he is. But after Meteorfall, it raises two serious questions:

If Cait Sith is a robot, is he being powered by mako? In a world where mako can't be used even to save human lives?

If Cait Sith isn't being powered by mako... what the hell is Cait Sith?

Outside the game, we the players know it's magic. BUT THE CHARACTERS DO NOT KNOW THAT.

And that.