list of totally normal and not gay fixations on women I had before my lesbian awakening (as chronologically in the order I experienced them as I can remember):
Cameron Diaz as Ms. Hannigan in the 2014 Annie movie
I saw this when it first came out in 2014, became obsessed with Ms. Hannigan's songs from the movie (even though they're about her being a horrible person??) and listened to them on spotify for like a week, then forgot about the whole thing until yesterday, and then I was like why Was I obsessed with her? Then I googled "cameron diaz ms hannigan" and, uh, yeah. 14 year old Libby knew what was up.
2. Winona Ryder as Joyce Byers in Stranger Things
she's passionate. she's loyal. she's protective. she stops for nothing and no-one. she takes no shit. she's got a crazy gleam in her eye but she's right every single time. YEAH. she's my fave character from the show and it's not weird or gay I just admire her. like, whatever.
3. Mel Medarda from Arcane League of Legends
no explanation needed come ON. do u have eyes. DO YOU? but yeah no it's not gay at all I just think she's really pretty and stuff hahahaaha. and smart and artistic and ambitious and cunning and and hahahaha
4. Phoebe Bridgers that one specific time she went on Ziwe
so this is not very lesbian of me, but I don't listen to Phoebe's music. but one time I was a bit fixated on Ziwe and watching any episodes I could get my grimy little hands on. and seeing Phoebe go from this
(sweet, kind of quiet and softspoken) to THIS
(unhinged. the way she was way too excited to destroy that ukulele but still expressing her destructive intent so sweetly. prancing up there to smash and stomp)
I don't know, man. I just felt an unexplainable rush of affection for her. I occasionally think of this moment fondly (but I still don't listen to her music but I probably should).
5. Sabrina Carpenter in her Espresso music video
my brain short-circuited when I watched this for the first (and I think only?) time. basically it was like "shoulder blades? butt? LEG? yellow. icecream. surfboard. shimmy. stealing a man's money" and I haven't watched it since cuz huh huh huh then I'd have to confront the gay thoughts™. now that I'm reminiscing and remembering all the not gay thoughts I've had over the years, maybe I'm ready to watch this again.
6. Winona (again) as Jo March in the 1994 "Little Women"
this was not much before I finally realized my lesbianism. I was watching this movie with my friend and became very distraught toward the end. I was upset that Jo was marrying an old man (is this a logical thing to be upset over? no) and I was also identifying with her character and feeling uncertain about my own future.
me, genuinely on the verge of tears: I don't want to marry an old man
my friend: you don't have to??
and then she called me a man hater lol
so yeah, that's it. That's what I can remember at the moment. maybe there are others that were forgotten, and maybe I'll remember them someday and update this list.
gummygunk
vaporwave
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
prguitarman
dailybridgerton
kianamaiart
