turntech

dadwallet: a condition in which you let your wallet fall apart and disintegrate without ever considering getting a new wallet

every political scandal has to be called ____gate now because 54 years ago a guy named blowjob told reporters there were bugs in the democrat offices

talkin about which jackass stunts we’d rather do and one of my friends said he’d rather do knoxville’s bulletproof vest testing than blindly stick his finger in a guy’s butt (escape room bit). it set my whole world on an angle. you’d rather shoot yourself in the chest with a gun than touch someone’s butt?? something most(?) adults do recreationally?? it’s not even your own butt getting fingered. youd rather HOLD A GUN… to your CHEST…???? dude grow up

so it's one thing if theyre sticking something up ur pooper right. but you're the one doing it. id do that for a fucking whopper junior bro calm down it's not even that bad?? youd rather shoot yourself in the chest??? with a bulletproof vest it'll still bruise to high hell. im spitting in my hands smacking those things together and my entire index finger will be up there in ten seconds flat bro. this fella wants to SHOOT HIMSELF INSTEAD????????????

fanfiction is lowkey cloth mother

please god beat his ass mom lalonde please bro

do dave fans even like him