pls let this be the start of a trend

retweet this and your dream job will come into your life

ok y'all this is crazy i reblogged this today and i just got offered a job. what the fuck

omg

this kid I haven’t talked to in like a year and a half now just messaged me on facebook and said “here’s a useful bit of information you could find useful” and then he sent me a Scooby Doo family tree that is so detailed it has characters only seen in the comic book that I didn’t even know existed

Why would you intentionally eat olives like what in the fuck? are you okay? is someone forcing you to do this? You need me to call the police let me know so we can help you

How yall been

Mind your own fucking business

Okay

person: so what have you been up to me: (speaking very humble) well, I just got some new carpet.. it’s plush… person: (trying not to sound envious) pl… plush? wow. I hear thats the nicest of all carpets me: oh it’s nothing..

This woman lives inside my brain and controls me