welcome to my mind

"I wouldn't want to bother anyone," I say as the thing inside of me eats me alive.

bpd is not knowing what emotions you can tell people you’re feeling because you don’t know what’s normal and what’s toxic to say

does anyone know if we have to keep doing this forever

maybe i’m just projecting but i think there’s an inherent loneliness in living with a severe mental illness that makes you feel permanently estranged from others and long for the kind of connection where you feel completely understood and accepted, all while knowing other people have their own stuff to deal with or are just not equipped to ride out the worst of the illness with you. this leads to downplaying and/or hiding your symptoms as best you can, which takes even more of a psychological toll on you. this leads to not feeling loved as a complete person, and maybe not recognizing that love when it is present, or always fearing the day people have had enough and leave. even more so if this has already happened to you. it’s so exhausting and sad

the emptiness feels so unbelievably overwhelming

i overthink….therefore….i overam….