片思い

Shocked into consciousness by sunlight

“I guess my life hasn’t always been happy, or easy, or exactly what I wanted. At a certain point, I just have to try not to think too much about certain things, or else they’ll break my heart.”

“All things are meltable, and replaceable. Not at this moment, but soon enough, we are lambs and we are leaves, and we are stars, and the shining, mysterious pond water itself.”

I don't ever explain anything to anyone because a part of me always wishes to remain unknown. The book that is read by all is also the book that is perceived in hundreds of different ways. And that for me is exhausting sometimes. I keep the truth to myself and read the versions of me given by others with amusement instead. Thus, I remain seen by all, and known by few.

Your right eye is the sun. It is the light I see first, the glow that I wake to every morning. Your left eye is the moon. It is the light I see last, the star that I watch before I sleep. And as you love me, every day and every night—my world revolves around you.

“With such a hell in your heart and your head, how can you live? How can you love?”

“How long they choose to love you will never be your decision.”

“I take great care of myself by carefully shutting myself away”

“I fall in love with myself, and I want someone to share it with me. And I want someone to share me, with me.”

I'm weaving my words in spit to keep them inside me. I can't give you the moon, or the writhing and burning stars, but I can tell you I would swim through the vast emptiness just to try, just to feel their burn, just for you. There's an orchestra in my heart that's playing the wrong notes, the kick drum is off time, the beat is irregular. I'm swallowing your heart whole to understand how you love me, the blood is eroding my tongue, the atriums are convulsing. You ask me if I love you and I do, I do, I do, but I can't speak. I have no words, no chords, no tongue. You just have to understand, you just have to feel it. But when I can't drag the night sky through the window for you, when there's no grand gesture, how will you ever understand?

In some parallel universe, I know you held me tighter. You tried harder. You said, “Look my love, I will meet you halfway.”

If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing.

"because she was more than a star, she was a constellation."

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.