( isolation; )

“ｉｆ ｙｏｕ ｇｅｔ ｄｅｅｐ， 

ｙｏｕ ｔｏｕｃｈ ｍｙ ｍｉｎｄ．

ｂａｐｔｉｚｅ ｙｏｕｒ ｔｅａｒｓ ａｎｄ 

ｄｒｙ ｙｏｕｒ ｅｙｅｓ．”

adored by leía.

ＢＡＳＩＣＳ：

name: dr. monica sofia soledad-sahni

age / d. o. b.: 30yo, june 6th, 1992

faceclaim: melissa barrera

gender & pronouns: cis-female & she/her

sexuality: bisexual 

hometown: mexico city, mexico

job position: psychologist @ leones inc. 

education: graduated from cornell university (BS, PhD)

relationship status: married to @profraj​

children: N/A

positive traits: passionate, witty, caring, nurturing, loving

negative traits: feisty, emotional, judgmental, cold, distant

ＢＩＯＧＲＡＰＨＹ：(emotional abuse tw)

monsoledad​:

“Blame the long weekend. Lots of rescheduling in the name of a prescription called wanderlust,” Alma smirked, though she placed her phone with the screen up to show that at the first light, she’d be on her way back to Monica’s haven. “Maybe you can find a piece that gives them that idea, too. There’s no where to hide, but you’ll find a whole new place if you dig a little deeper.”

She tilted her head up, hazel hues taking a glance along the room and what was available to them from just this angle of comfort in their seats. 

“Maybe a landscape, but something a little more… surreal. You could always get a good print of Salvador Dalí, but stay away from the nightmare scenes.”

☆

ＳＨＥ was lucky to be able to take the day off, something she didn’t try to practice too much. She enjoyed her career, finding pleasure in helping those in need. She just needed to find ways to do that for herself. She nodded, taking a sip of her coffee and looked up at the clouds moving above them. “The weekend is too short, even with a holiday,” Monica remarked, shaking her head. She didn’t know what she was looking for yet, but she wanted something new. Monica wasn’t sure if it was something internally, or to do with her practice so she found a way to plant it in the practice. “That’s what I want– people to dig a little deeper, and not be so scared,” she added, snapping a thumb. Monica inhaled, letting out a long sigh as she heard her. The nightmare scenes seemed to make perfect sense to her for some reason. “Landscapes are so... overused,” the psychologist said, tilting a head. “I’m thinking Frida Kahlo-esque,” she envisioned. “A print? I want the real-deal.” 

monica soledad-sahni​​ ;

***

There was an inspecific comfort that came with meeting someone from her past again. It offered a moment’s worth of memories, all flooding her mind and reminding her of the chaos that had once ran through her veins. By comparison to back then, she was entirely different person. “Ententido,” she echoed in return, a wide smile fostered on her lips as light hues scanned over the other woman. She’d buy every single time if it meant keeping that comfort at arm’s reach. “You can’t believe? I can’t believe. It’s fate, babe. We were never meant to live in separate places.” Leaning closer, she captured the woman’s frame in a quick hug before she was pulling away, yet staying close. “Seriously, this is amazing. First off, you are a total smoke show, Mon. Secondly, tell me that you’re doing something badass now. I wish I could say that I was, but I took those bottle skills we learned and I’m still using them. Just not dancing on top of bars anymore. Not sure my boss would like,” she joked, trying to make light of something that often felt heavy in her development.

☆

ＴＨＥ thrill of their past ran through her as she soaked in the realization Luciana was closer than she thought. How things had been going lately, she needed friends. Their support meant everything to her since she felt so uncertain about everything, lately. Her professional success was minuscule compared to her desire of true friendship and love in her life. “You know, you sound like my guy,” the guy in question being a psychic assigned to her since birth. Her grandmother insisted on every one of her grandchildren being read by a person with spiritual or so powers. “He warned me that I’d be experiencing a lot of people of my past soon,” she explained, unsure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Luciana was a good thing, but who else could possibly pop up in Monica’s life? She let go of the femme’s frame, smiling at her and squeezing Luciana’s wrist as she heard her. Monica was flattered, knowing exactly what Luciana was probably thinking– is this really Monica? She’d have to find the discrepancies in teenage Mon vs. adult Mon. “Oh, please,” she waved a hand, acting like she’d woken up like this. “You’re stunning, bellisima, now just save some for the rest of us,” she teased the brunette. “But– those skills still come in handy, clearly,” she rebutted. “Maybe, we should dance on top of a bar one last time. For old time’s sake!” 

M O N I C A​:

✩ 

chocolate chunks, was what she loved, and raj made a mental note of that for the next time he made some sweets for his wife. he grew up baking from working in his parents bakery and was sure that he’d tried every possible cookie recipe by now, but he’d have to try out his newest one ( a brown butter chocolate chip recipe ) with chocolate chunks instead of just chocolate chips. his would be better than the one she was gushing over, he was sure of it. “don’t be surprised when you find some chocolate chunks in the next cookie i test on you,” raj told her matter-of-factly, shooting her a quick grin before taking a long drink from the frozen lemonade in his hand. he didn’t bake much at home after getting sick of doing so from the bakery, but he still did every now and then for special occasions.

raj couldn’t help but let out a laugh at her mention of being thirty, flirty and thriving; knowing that sentiment only partially described either of them. both in their thirties by now, but he wasn’t quite convinced that they were ‘thriving’. not with the way that things had been going as of late, when they hadn’t spent time together in weeks and the one day they did, they were getting drunk. but what could he say? at least they were together for once.

and when she mentioned a vacation, he automatically opened his mouth to make excuses about work, but with the summer coming up.. it wasn’t like they couldn’t go on a vacation. “i think it’s.. a good idea. i still have to prepare for the fall semester all summer, but. maybe we could make time for it?” he knew he didn’t sound too convincing, especially with the reminder that she also had a business to run, which he had to mention. “who would take care of leones while we’re gone?”

☆

ＴＨＥ small efforts is what kept her going– it showed he cared, that he wanted to be with her, and he was committed to their vow. At least, from what she knew about marriage. Her parents’ marriage wasn’t roses and rainbows, but they were still together none the less. Although, their problems seemed much more different compared to her own parents. She smiled up at him, finishing the cookie and nodded in excitement. “I’ll taste test every cookie you make,” she stated. “Don’t be surprised if I ask for chocolate-chunk cookies from you every day after,” Monica said, a humored chuckle leaving her. She had always appreciated his baking skills– especially on her birthdays. He definitely beat her in that arena, not that she ever delved into the world of baking. 

She walked along him, peeking over at all of the different tents lined up. Today’s market was busy, the start of the season always being her favorite. She liked seeing what people created and produced for everyone to enjoy, thanking everybody above her for whoever decided to bring the spiked lemonades. She moved onto her next one, proceeding to continue her own personal party as the liquor ran through her system. Monica liked to take the edge off– in the most appropriate way possible. She was still maneuvering what that meant in her life, adjusting to her life day by day.

She sipped on her drink, watching his less-than-excited expression and a part of her wanted to erupt into a fit then and there but she had grown since those days in her youth. At least, today she was. She tried to hide her displeasure, turning her attention away from him. Of course, he wasn’t jumping at the fact at a vacation with his wife. That was normal– right? “You think?” she repeated, raising an eyebrow at him. Now her own excitement fizzled, feeling the pit of worry in her stomach she had been experiencing lately. She shrugged, her spirits low as she heard him. “Don’t worry about Leones. I’ll figure it out,” she told him, the independent woman in her pushing through. Technically, she didn’t need him to join her. She wanted him to. “No te preocupes. I understand you have a lot to prepare for,” truthfully, Monica didn’t understand. She was just trying to act the part of an understanding wife. Marriage was about understanding, she told herself. “I’ll take Alma.. or Joey, or make it a solo-trip. I just need to get away, that’s all.” 

𝖬𝖮𝖭𝖨𝖢𝖠𝗦𝗢𝗟𝗘𝗗𝗔𝗗​:

Happiness exuded over him as Alexander saw Mónica and the kids interact, evident by the grin on his face. The little family the two of them had form when finding eachother and bringing their respective families into the mix later on, although unorthodox, his most prized possession. A hum came in response of his friend’s teasing, feigned concentration displayed by a fur of brows as he considered bribery on his own kids. As much as he liked to say he was joking, a part of him really ached to give the kids everything he could for as long as he could. Their future was uncertain, it felt like walking on a tightrope to nowhere specific and he knew he had to be mindful, at least until everything was settled. “Okay, I see I have yet so much to learn from the greatest. When are you gonna try to bribe me, then? I saw this alarm-clock on the webs that literally wakes you up with a cup of coffee and I haven’t been the same since. I am not as easy to persuade as those two” he mused, raising a brow defiant, even though he was certain if anyone could call his bluff, that was certainly Monica.  

Alexander grimaced as he listened to his friend speak of her husband, switching seats as he found one closer to her, previously owned by one of his kids. “Sorry, you wanna talk about it?” the professor inquired, giving her an encouraging grin. Mónica was the one person he trusted the most in the world, the one he could run to whenever things went awry or good— the least he could do is try to do the same for her, even though he knew how private she could be about that type of business. As the conversation morphed into the guessing game and Mónica quipped, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes, fondly, before shaking his head. “Sadly, no Santa. Although I will keep the request in mind and make sure to ask him to make sure you’re on the good list” he fired back with a chuckle. A sigh and a second later, he finally gave in. Making sure the kids weren’t around to eavesdrop, he finally half-whispered. “My ex-wife. Because whatever deity that rules this world has a great sense of humor and thinks me running into her after years and in a different town is fucking hilarious. Bo Burnham wouldn’t write such a punchline about the guy who got dumped a year after his wedding. He would make a fun song about it though.”

☆

ＴＨＥ life she lived now was not what she pictured at all. At one point of her youth, she truly did believe her father would’ve been there for her– materialistically, at least. The way money was used to bribe Monica was enough to sustain her feelings then, now, therapy helped all of the other things she got. As she grew, she realized what true love was really about and she saw the truth in the love Alex provided for his own family and friends. The way he stepped into a fatherly role was natural, and something that warmed Monica’s soul. He was a rock to lean on, for all of them; especially her. She knew she could always count on Alex, and now, his own mini-me’s. Their little families blended through the power of friendship which she held close to her heart. She pressed her lips together, giving him amused eyes. “If that’s all you need– consider it done,” she agreed to the bribe, a pleased expression on her features. “Your bribe is much more budget friendly compared to your kids!” Monica informed him, erupting into a belly laugh.

She brought a hand to her chest, letting out a deep sigh as he asked her the question she practiced with her own patients. A part of her did, but the other part was swimming in denial river. Monica decided to just swallow it for now, not wanting to damper the night with her overthinking. “No– everything’s ｆｉｎｅ, totally ｄａｎｄｙ, in the ｈｏｎｅｙｍｏｏｎ phase– duh,” she babbled her lies. She knew things could be much better. She sucked in air through her list as he mentioned Santa’s good list, still unsure if she qualified for it. “I appreciate the good word, I’m sure he hasn’t heard of me in years,” Monica joked. A part of her using humor to cope with the way she got to where she was. She tilted her head, nodding as she listened to him. She knew about the tumultuous relationship from Alex’s POV, always wanting the best for him but it seemed like Ithaca had other plans. Her eyebrows shot up into curiosity, wondering how Alex handled it. Probably better than herself and her own ex. “Was it everything you imagined and more?” Monica sarcastically inquired. It was better to bask in the past rather than the present on Monica’s behalf. She pointed to the bottle of wine, needing an adult drink immediately. “Dime más. And, maybe, just maybe, I’ll tell you who I ran into,” she teased the subject of their exes. “I need a drink for this conversation, though.” 

“I wouldn’t mind having anyone else hijack my break,” She grinned, coffee in hand and burning with gratitude. One sip and her morning was cured, tension split open and a small kiss placed on Monica’s cheek in appreciation. “It’s a slow day at the clinic. You’re not missing much.”

Despite the work that had its ways of becoming endless if Alma didn’t stay organized at the front, she enjoyed the clinic. It gave her purpose after spending so long sifting through the house. Certain luxuries became quite boring after a while, and they’d lose their luster after too much use. You adjusted your eyes to its shine. The opportunity to do more than explore but contribute, to busy her hands and her mind, was what she needed to settle in. 

“What are you looking for?” She asked. “A conversation piece, something calm?”

☆

ＭＯＮＩＣＡ gave sincere smiles towards the employees as they left with hands full of goodies, she guided her towards a small table near the large marble fountain that decorated Temple of Zeus. She pulled a seat out for Alma, then herself as she sat down to enjoy their snack. “Suddenly, you’re ten minute break is turning three hours long,” Monica said, a laugh following her words. “If you say so,” she trusted her, slightly finding it hard to believe Leones Inc. was having a slow day. Maybe, that was a good thing. They all deserved a little break, truthfully. She took a long sip of her coffee, looking over at the people entering the premises. She didn’t hide her disapproval of the PDA happening near them, as well. She looked over at Alma with wide eyes before she took another sip of her coffee and came back to the subject of a new painting for the office. “A provoking piece,” she relayed. She wanted people to be thrown into thought upon revelation. “Something that keeps their gears turning before their session,” a more detailed description this time for Alma’s sake. She knew it’d pop out when it was the right piece. “I want it to cover the wall. Big and bold. A friendly, yet stern, way of telling someone no puedes esconderte.” 

monica soledad-sahni​ ;​

***

A forty hour work week seemed made up in their line of work. Even when she planned for a short week, it seemed like something always came up or someone needed her assistance in her area of expertise. It wasn’t that she didn’t like helping, but everyone deserved a break from their chaos every once and awhile. “Let me know when you work a forty hour week and we’ll go get drinks,” she challenged through an amused smile. “Unless you have allergies.” It was a joke, one that was followed by a quiet laugh and a roll of dark hues. “Honestly, I can’t complain much. Things might be slower here than in the city, but I like it. Mostly. I’m not used to having any free time to myself, so I’m not sure what to do with it when I get it. Any suggestions?”

☆

ＨＵＦＦＳ of amusement expelled from her, sucking air in through her teeth as she listened to her. “I think the last time I had a forty hour work week was when I was interning during undergrad,” Monica reminisced. Life had changed drastically for her beginning at the mere age of fourteen. She had the world handed to her on a silver platter, when suddenly, Monica quickly found out the world ( her father ) was no longer on her side. Quickly, love seemed conditional, as well as, her birth-given right to her inheritance. She grabbed another bouquet, unable to resist the plump peonies. Andrea had a point about Ithaca– it was rather slow. Monica grew up in Manhattan, knowing the bustling business of the City of New York. Ithaca was a breath of fresh air, sometimes. 

“You know, it all depends on what you enjoy. I’ve been here since college so I’m a creature of habit now. Besides work, I do pilates, swim,  I’ll ( pre ) tend to my garden,” she thought about her free time. “Other than that, I just need a bottle of wine and my bed to follow,” Monica shrugged. “The days seem to fly by. There’s a lot of sight-seeing around Ithaca. I know Raj and I did a lot of that in the beginning of our relationship. Overall, I’d say take advantage of the quiet air of Ithaca.” 

-

Juniper bears a half amused smile as he peaks behind him. “So it is true what they say. The first stage of grief really is denial,” he jokes, pushing the door open. The sun hangs high in the sky, a promise to burn all that was below. He gives a low whistle. “It’s hot,” he announces, averting delicate eyes from the sky. June undoes the sunglasses that hang over the collar of his shirt and places it over his eyes. He laughs as she goes on. “And why wouldn’t I be? This town has its charm,” he adds just in time to see some guy peeing in a bush. June blocks Monica’s view before she can turn to address it. He laughs, a cheeky smile as he looks down. “Would you ever really let anything as institutionalized as marriage stop you from finding the one?”  

☆

ＯＮＥ feeling Monica knew to great lengths was grief. Her whole life had been filled with grieving– most of the people still alive. Grief was an interesting concept but all she did was bat her eyes, continuing to push Juniper’s solicitations away. “I’m positive there’s no denying you do not bear the title of ‘best wing maker in Ithaca’,” Monica said, a shining smile spread across her face. She was good at doubting people, it was almost like a defensive mechanism now at her age. The woman needed in agreement, placing her sunglasses on the bridge of her nose so she could unshamingly judge those around her. She couldn’t help but laugh hearing him, shaking her head at his advances and sudden protection. “To each their own,” she reminded him, pointing to a bar straight ahead. “I’ll stick with, what you deem as inconvenient, my institutionalized marriage,” she informed him. “I don’t even remember what it’s like not being married,” she claimed, only half-lying to him. 

spring concert @ stewart park

☆

ＳＨＥ was enjoying herself, taking time to do the things she loved. Monica had been doing a lot of that lately; something she didn’t expect so much at this point in her life. During her youth, she had daydreamed about her future too many nights. There were too many nights where she thought– what if? What if she had followed what she wanted? What if she wanted the latter? What if she had chosen herself? 

Monica listened along to the music filling the air, swallowing the lump in her throat as she spiraled in her thoughts. She laid on the grass, mindlessly following the clouds above her. The words feeling too close to home at points. Her attention dimmed once she decided that she had enough feelings for the night. She pushed herself up off the ground and felt her body colliding with another as she stood to her full length. She whisked around to face them, apologetic words leaving her lips until she realized who it was. “Oh. Elijah,” she processed his presence, her throat burning as she looked at him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you,” she explained. “You look–,”  she stopped herself before she could finish her thoughts. Her eyes scanned his features, distinctive memories flooding her. “It’s been... so long,” was all she could muster.