getting surgery to give me a second head so i can tell twice as many lies as usual

and suck twice as much dick i fucking guess. that's what you all want to hear isn't it.

bro, what's wrong? the joyous whimsy i usually see behind your eyes seems dull and lifeless today. bro

all the leaves are brown (alllllll the leaaaaves are brown)

and the sky is gay

(and the sky is gay)

cold enough to require a gay little jacket weather is almost upon us again i can feel it :)

kate BUSH. not kate SHAVE. something to think about..............

He would not fucking say that but let's indulge

#honestly some people really are out there writing characters OOC#but within the story the characterization is consistent and engaging#and you’re like…ah…sometimes a weed is just a plant out of place

your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

bands in the late 60s were like “due to record company requirements and amphetamines being available OTC in every drug store, we are releasing 2 of the best albums of all time within the space of a year. maybe 3 albums if we really hate each other.”

I hate applying for jobs. “desired salary for this role” one billion dollars next question

I'm on the haiiiii :3 way to helllll

im like an absent father in my own life I'm uninvolved af

"stranger things made jonathan a gay stoner bc they didn't know what to do with his character" they hired charlie heaton from the gay stoner movie