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i'm back and alive! I don't think i will be active here on tumblr anymore. i feel like this era is over for me now. the community i had here is kinda dead and not lively, and also idk what to do here anymore. I'm gonna be 35 next week. I got a girlfriend and now move thru the world as even more of a normie. i graduated from a year of therapy that did wonders tbh and now i am on a break from therapy. i'm lowkey a secret brujo now too lol. i realized also that I am not an evil villain, and tbh i am very talented and smart and a good generator when it comes to work stuff. i just need to lock in more for my next venture. i lost some former close friends, rekindled with other friends i was not a good friend to. the universe is always testing me but for real i always pass those tests fine. i wear jeans with premade holes in them now reconnecting with my inner child. my hairline is receding and thinning, but all things considered, i am okay. if anyone wants to connect more and follow me along elsewhere where I am more active. here is my IG: (at@) 404b3

A couple weeks ago i ordered a labubu and now that it’s arrived im afraid that it’s actually a lafufu 😩 I was going to gift it to my new boo and I got a dupe!

Today is the day i will finally go and buy that minoxodil. My hair is falling so much 😩 I keep psyching myself out of buying it but I should just do it!

I have decided it is time…to take a break from therapy, and or seek out a new therapist. The current guy I have seen for 6 months so far has been what I have needed but I have reached a point where I’ve become uncomfortable with him…so far in like maybe 3 or more sessions he tells me that I seem to be doing so well in learning and implementing new things to help myself and doing well in my progress of my mental health goals…but he says it so much now, that I have started noticing more HOW he says it. And as a hater myself, I can feel the haterade coming thru??? Like he almost sounds disappointed?? I don’t like that at all. Especially when he asks me what else am I trying to work on in our sessions next. And in my head I’m like…well we still haven’t really tackled my boundary issues with my mother for one, among other things that are pretty foundational to why I sought him out in the first place regarding my disregulation and control freak issues 😄

Another thing is I now wear my hair pushed to the front because it’s thinning A LOT and once like 2 weeks ago at the beach I got in the water and pushed my hair back and it was giving very much comb-over and I’m not ready to face that reality yet 😩 this new hairstyle will buy me some time while I figure out what’s next for my rapidly receding hair 🙏🏼

I’m driving now regularly too! New era! I don’t feel confident to be on a highway yet but that’s my goal before summer ends.

I’m learning and getting it confirmed by multiple people who are mentor/confidantes of mine that…I’m kind of a villain 🫣 …and I’m okay with that!

This week…will have been 4 weeks since I first met up with my new person E. And already they’ve seen me in distress lol yet they held space for me beautifully during it — and they’re also still somehow on board with me despite knowing my mother is nuts and overbearing. Idc that is not even a month, I know I’m gonna probably marry them! They’re stuck with me now.

Well I broke it off with my 2 yr situationship…via text. The thing is, I’m not even sad or mad about it. Idk, I don’t even miss him? After spending nearly a year feeling heartbroken after every hangout with him, I’m over that. I’m now just like, damn I was really obsessed over this man who really gave me nothing. Emotionally unfulfilled, even platonically. Tbh even the physical intimacy was waned and worn.

My mindset with this is yolo! Being in therapy once a week for 6 months has been incredible and harrowing all at once. But overall I trust myself a lot. I feel like I’m moving thru this new experience pretty confidently. What happens, will happen — and I’m doing it with tenderness toward myself.

When i was vetting this person seeing who we have in common, i learned one of my long distance fwb used to hook up with them! So i asked for some scoop and he told me nothing scary but that he also hooked up with this persons coworker who told him that my person is annoying af lol — and i hate to say it, but i don’t — that’s just even more of a lure for me 😩