god save the prom queen

Calum watched her expression as the tears filled her eyes. Getting over it didn’t mean forgetting it, it just meant reducing the pain to a tolerable level, a level that wouldn’t destroy him. And in that moment the idea of getting over it was unimaginable. It felt impossible, inconceivable, unthinkable. He didn’t want to get over it. Why should he? It was literally all he had. But this would be good for her. So unimaginably good for her. He could only imagine the kind of experiences she’d have in New York. The same place he’d always dreamed of ending up with her. When she said okay he offered her a sad smile. Tears stained his cheeks as he reached out, grabbing her hand and pulling her into his arms. Just because they were over didn’t mean he could handle not having her in his arms one last time. “You know you’re going to be so good at this.” He whispered quietly into her ear. His hold tightening slightly as the smell of her shampoo filled his nose, a scent he never wanted to let go of as he clung to her silently.

Calum shook his head as he watched her place the letter on the table next to them. “Monica.. You can’t stay here for me. I’m not worth ruining your whole future over. I was… on my way over here because…” He paused, taking a breath in between his words, his heart breaking as he was about to say what he’d come to say in the first place. Only this time it meant something completely different. If he did this it meant she was gone. She wouldn’t be the apartment upstairs anymore. She wouldn’t be stopping by to see Evie. There would be no random encounters at the bar or seeing her name in the paper. Complete radio silence. The thought making tears swell in his eyes before he continued. “I came over because I was going to ask for space.. To put a pause on our relationship because I don’t feel like I know who I am without you anymore and it’s been killing me. Everything’s just kind of hurt lately and I know you’ve been feeling it and I just.. wanted some time to be on my own and figure things out but I don’t wanna hurt you but I can’t stay in this when I’ve been feeling like this and maybe this is the push you need anyways to go and get this experience you know?”

Monica felt tears in her eyes, a mix of so many different emotions that she couldn’t even name. The fact that he was breaking up with her the first thing to come to mind, but she knew he had to do this. He had to put himself first, she had been telling him that for so long, and now he was finally doing it and she couldn’t stop him. But he was also doing this for her. She knew she might say no because of their relationship, because she didn’t want to leave, but the truth was she didn’t feel like she fit in Dayton anymore. It was like a pair of jeans she had out grown just a little bit. They fit, but they were just a little too tight to make things uncomfortable. And she knew it was time to go. “Okay,” was the only word she could muster up, tears spilling out of her eyes as she looked down. She didn’t know who she was at this stage of her life--an orphan--without Calum, but she knew she had to figure it out on her own. In New York. Sniffling, she kept her head down, wiping tears as she tried to keep herself calm.

Calum wasn’t sure what she was grabbing when she moved to the kitchen. He had a thought that was gripping at his chest, but that turned to one of confusion when she came back with a letter. Hesitant fingers taking it from her as he looked it over. At first having no idea what he was reading until she explain. His eyes widening slightly as understanding overtook him. “Shit.. You.. This mean’s you’re..” He was finding it hard to swallow as his eyes returned to the letter. She was leaving. She had too. She couldn’t turn this down. “You have to do this.” He said softly as he handed it back to her. “It’s too good of an opportunity not to.” The brunette said, licking his lip as he looked up at her for the first time since reading the letter. 

Monica could see the confusion on his face and she understood it--she had felt the same confusion just a day prior when the letter came in the mail and she got a call from her aunt. It was crazy to think that she had no only been accepted, but given a full ride to a school like Columbia, but then again she was a Yale graduate. A Della Vega going into law. It was like this was her destiny, like the Red Sea was just parting for her as she made her way down the path meant for her from the day she was born. “I haven’t decided yet,” she said softly, placing the letter on the end table next to them. “I don’t... know what to do .”

“Mmm baby I thought we weren’t doing gifts.” He whined as his lips traveled back up her jaw, finding their way to her lips and taking them hungrily. His depressed haze making the time they’d spent apart feel more like months. Like this was the first time he’d really gotten to kiss her in forever. “I freakin love pizza.” He teased as he finally pulled back from her lips, nodding as he pushed himself up and took her hands in his to pull her with him down to the blanket. “You really managed every little detail didn’t you? Just like Fridays.” He added as he brought her fingers to his lips kissing them sweetly.

“We aren’t, I would’ve gotten it for your anniversary or not,” Monica mumbled against his lips, her fingers playing with his hair contently. When they pulled back she smirked, biting her lip and nodding her head. “Just like Fridays,” Monica followed him to the blanket, sitting Indian style and squeezing his hand. After a second she pulled away, grabbing the little gift bag and handing it to him. “It’s nothing crazy, just something I thought you’d like,” she said simply of the new finger grips she got for his other PS4 controller.

Calum nodded, unsure if the fact that they were alone made this better or worse. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her and have her feel alone. That was literally the nightmare scenario. His brain was still wrapping around how to explain what he was feeling to her. Not that it would make it any better. Explanations don’t change anything, do they? They don’t make you feel any better. This was going to suck no matter how it came out. Knowing why it had to happen wasn’t going to make any difference—it was still going to happen and they still weren’t going to like it, so what’s the point of figuring it out right? Or at least those were the many thoughts going through his head when all of a sudden she told him she’d been meaning to call. “I.. you do? What’s up?” He asked, his heart racing all of a sudden at the fear of what this might be. 

Monica really didn’t know what to say to Calum. Columbia Law School was... a dream. The best place to go to kick start a career, and she knew that going to law school in the city that she wanted to live in was the better option. More opportunity for connections. Sighing, she walked over to the dining room table and grabbed the acceptance letter, coming back slowly and hesitantly handing it to Calum. “My aunt submitted an application behind my back,” she said softly, sniffling. “And I committed to school here but... I mean it’s a full ride. And it’s Columbia.”

“You must have really liked me huh?” He teased as he lifted her up into his arms and set her down on the back of the couch so that he could lean in and kiss her again. Each kiss, light but hungry as he gently cupped the side of her face, his thumb brushing over her cheek. “Is there more to the plan that I’m not aware of?” He asked, pulling back slightly and tilting his head in curiosity. His eyes searching hers, finding comfort in the way she looked at him as his arms moved to wrap around her waist, moving himself to stand between her legs briefly before pushing her back and letting them fall back onto the actual kiss, his lips attacking her neck playfully as he pulled her body against his. 

“Hmm,” Monica hummed against his lips as he kissed her, her body relaxing when he set her down against the couch. Her arms wrapped around him and she was content, right here, forever. Opening her eyes when he pulled back, she smirked, nodding as he began kissing her neck. “Well our pizza should be here soon,” she said softly. “And i ended up getting you a gift—something small, but I thought you’d like it,” she giggled as he kissed her neck, playing with his hair. “Let’s move to the blanket.”

“Hey you.” Calum said softly as the door suddenly swung open and she was there. Standing right in front of him, and for a moment it was like he was seeing her for the first time. He cursed his brain for doing that to him. That she had to audacity to be so beautiful when everything else around him felt so ugly. “Yeah sorry. I just kinda wanted to see you.” He said softly as he stepped into her apartment. His eyes casting around the room he’d come to recognize as a second home over the time she’d been in Dayton. “Is Jane here?” He asked as he leaned against the back of their couch, looking back towards the rooms before looking back at her. His heart dropping to his stomach every time he did as his fingers gripped the fabric on the couch. “It’s okay that I’m here right?” Although he had no reason to think it wouldn’t be other than his nerves.

“Don’t apologize,” Monica said instantly, shaking her head. While she loved when he randomly stopped by, she was also a bit worried. He seemed a bit off, and she was all in her own head right now. She had been avoiding him ever since she got that letter from Columbia, and it was because she didn’t really know what to say to him. “No she’s at work,” she said softly, closing the door behind him and rubbing her fingers through her hair, looking back at him. “Of course it’s okay,” she whispered, looking down. “Actually I’ve been meaning to call you. I have... something to tell you.”

Calum couldn’t express how cute he thought this was as he kept her close, only relaxing his hold so that he could kiss her when she leaned into him. His lips lingering on hers for a moment before they were being pulled back to explain their plans for the night. “Well I mean that kind of makes it even more authentic because I seem to recall no longer sleeping on my bunk after a certain point anyways.” He teased as he leaned in to kiss her again. “How did I ever get you to fall in love with me with my taste in music?” The boy teased as he kept her hugged to his chest. “So does that mean you’re gonna dance with me tonight?” 

Monica smiled at the look on Calum's face, so happy that he liked it. She had originally said she wanted a chill, low-key night, and while this wasn’t anything crazy it still wasn’t chill or low-key. But she was glad he liked it. “I mean, valid,” she said softly, shrugging her shoulders and kissing him back. “Honestly, I have no idea,” she teased him, burying her face into his chest and then pulling back. “Of course,” she nodded, smiling. “It’s all part of the plan.”

Sick. That’s all he could feel as he stood outside her door. It’s not easy-living in a void, living and dying inside your head…wanting what you want so much that you’d give everything else to get it- but the time still passes, the days go on…and as long as there’s still a tomorrow, there’s always a chance that maybe someday things can go back to the way they were. This was something he needed to do. The sadness, the silence, the darkness, the loneliness… all of it held in a simple little moment. It felt like so much as he stood in the dimly lit hall with his hand waiting at his side. All he needed to do was reach up and knock but it’s like his fist refused to come to life. He’d spent all day traipsing around Dayton, lost in a maze of chaos, trying to find a hidden illusion; he’d been living on hope, ignoring reality, fueled only by feelings he didn’t understand. But now he was here. A shuddered breath escaping his lips as he reached up to knock on her door, taking a step back to give her space as he waited for her to open it. 

@mondelveg

It had been a full 24 hours since the letter that changed her fate had arrived at her door. Sure, Monica was prepared for law school, but not for the acceptance letter all the way from Columbia to find its way to her doorstep. A whim, her aunt had called it, when she sent the girl’s application to the Ivy League school in, and yet here she was. Faced with a difficult, life changing decision. She was pulled from her thoughts at the sound of a knock on her front door and she got up from her bed, slowly, to open it. When she saw it was Calum, her chest tightened. “Hi,” she said softly, sniffling and wiping under her nose. “I wasn’t expecting you, come in.”

As Calum stepped inside a whirlwind of memories overtook him. He remembered his first time arriving at camp. It was his first real sense of escape. His first chance to meet people who weren’t shrouded in his history. He remembered all the excitement and nervousness and the rush of feeling so in the moment. Everything had been moving so fast until the second he saw her step out of the car. Everything around him paused and he swore it was like a moment out of a film. Two people throw together by the slim odds they’d be sharing a group of campers for the rest of the summer. Instinctively his arms moved to wrap around her, his lips coming to her cheek as the smell of pine filled his nose. “You’re incredible.” He whispered in her ear as he gently pressed his lips to her cheek. “There’s nothing shitty about this.” 

Monica was pretty proud of the thought to make their anniversary camp themed--they had both been in such a different places in their lives when they met that day, when they had been assigned to wrangle a bunch of teenagers for the better part of the summer, and yet somehow they found common ground. They felt helplessly in love and there was no going back, for either of them. At his words she smiled, looking over at Calum with a smile that couldn’t be contained. “I’m glad you liked it,” she said softly, leaning up and kissing him lightly. “I ordered us food, and found that old playlist we used to listen to at night. Unfortunately, there’s no bunk beds, but I think we can manage without it.”

Calum had been having a rough week to say the least. His break down from the day before still sitting heavy in his heart as he tried to make himself look presentable. He’d forced himself to get up and shower and was doing everything in his power to make himself look nice for her but couldn’t help feeling like he was falling short. He knew he was running out of time and had to settle for the best her could do before leaving his apartment and heading upstairs to hers. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but it sure as hell wasn’t what he was looking at as she opened the door. A small smile gracing his lips as he recognized the look all too well. “Well shit. It would appear I’m over dressed.” He teased as he gently brushed his fingers over her arm. “There’s not a giant group of kids in there is there?” 

Monica’s smile brightened when she saw that Calum had gotten a little dressed up--she knew the last few days had been hard, and whenever she was feeling like that it always helped to get up, get dressed and try her best to get on with the day. She licked her lips, a small laugh escaping her lips. “I’m not that crazy,” she smirked, pulling him inside and showing him the apartment. “Ta da! It’s a little shitty because I thought of this literally yesterday but--welcome back to camp,” she looked at him. “And happy anniversary.” 

“Yeah, and the sky is blue. What else is new?”

“Alright folks, you’re hearing it here first. She and Calum slept together when we were in an open relationship, and then that became a closed relationship I made it a point to let her know the change. Was I a little forceful? Sure. But I’m protective of my relationship. From there, we had tension. I decided to reach out, try and ease that tension by asking her for headshots–playing to someones passions, you know?–and she flipped out on me. And now we’re here, and she’s calling me names. Anything else?”

“My boyfriend.”

“Wow that’s… so kind. Thank you, I think we’re very cute too.”

“If I were single, I’d fuck Calum, Shane, and Guerin.”