monday_october

When you laugh, you’re happy.

But when people laugh AT you....

I don’t think I’ll be happy.

I know your laughter comes from my silly questions,

which I have promised myself before that I won’t do the same mistakes again.

But finally, here I go again, the SAME MISTAKE I’ve done.

And the result is, the laughter that you didn’t have an intention to hurt me at all.

However, it hurts me so bad, so bad, that you couldn’t imagine.

I’m feeling like I’m a jerk who don’t know anything, just because you didn’t tell me everything I need to know. And I know you’re smart enough to know what I’d really want to know.

Maybe you don’t want to talk about it with me, all I can think of is only this answer.

Actually, it’s not anyone’s fault, not yours, not mine.

I just see you as a friend, and friend can ask anything. But maybe you don’t feel comfy to tell me anything I ask. That’s fine. I won’t ask you anything again.

Not sure if I’m too sensitive or not. But lately, I think my mates have some distance to me. Not think of me, forget me, not talk to me when I ask, have some secrets with me.... And the worst part is.... not care about me.

I’m not sure if I’ve done anything wrong. I’m the one who is a friend of them before you were here. But I don’t know why they are gone, be close to you, and leaving me alone.

Sometimes....I feel sad, I feel left out from what I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. And it’s too sensitive to ask them what happened with us, why you left me here alone. Did you still care about me? Did you still see me as one of your friends? I didn’t have secrets to friends, but why did you treat me like that? 

Perhaps, I think it’s time to let them go, not care about who do not care about me. I still have some other friends who are always care about me, treat me like their best friends, have no secret with me and never leave me alone.

Perhaps, I need to relocate myself to another place where I fully belong. I may not belong here.

Sometimes, I believe it’s only sometimes.

You have made yourself look boring and annoying. 

When people are having a good time, but you’re the one who screwed it all,

Have you ever realized that awkward moment when everybody get bored of you?

I truly understand that you have a tough life, I show you my sincere pity.

But sometime, I ask for just sometimes.

You have to let it go and let everyone have a good time together.

Don’t make the party over just yet.