Mommy&Boy

Let’s talk supporting a friend who is also pregnant.

If I have to be completely honest, those friends who know about my pregnancy journey know that I was 100% honest about the experience. When I was pregnant, my emotions were switching up from being annoyed by the morning (all day) sickness, the excitement of feeling my baby kick , being sad because I was unable to sleep on my stomach, excited for scans, waiting to pop, giving birth trauma, struggling with the sleeping patterns of a newborn, in love with the feeling of breastfeeding… the list goes on

I’ve always wanted a friend I can actually “relate” to, and by that I mean having a friend who’s also a mommy. Just recently , a good friend of mine told me that she’s expecting . Honestly, I’m happy for her! Having a baby is amazing. The pro’s of having a baby conquer the cons. Let’s look at the cons:

•constant morning sickness

•being tired 24/7

•being unable to sleep on your stomach

•peeing 25/8

•Always hungry

•Too sensitive. Crying for literally everything

•my feet hurt, my back hurts, my favourite mini skirt doesn’t fit me anymore

Now, let’s look at the pros

•I have a tiny little human growing inside of me

•I get to see my baby’s growth

• baby kicks 🥰🥰🥰

•cute baby clothes

•hearing your babies heartbeat 💓

•breastfeeding connection

•cute baby faces

•seeing your baby smile for the first time

•hearing your babies first laugh

•my baby can finally sit up!

•seeing my babies different personalities

•baby tries solids for the first time

•first time trying lemon 🍋 faces

•bath time bonds

•baby walks for the first time

….the list goes on

I took my baby for his 14th week check up at the doctor today and had a chat with two pregnant ladies who had a few questions and were curious about how it is being a mom and most importantly, how it was giving birth.

I remember my exact words to one lady were “do you want me to lie to you or to be brutally honest” , and she asked me to be honest. Mind you, the lady was 37 weeks, and I gave birth at 37 weeks. I then told her that I won’t really explain everything in detail as I did not want to worry her (so yes, I wasn’t really brutally honest😂I couldn’t do that to her!) what I did point out was that, she has to brace herself. I can’t speak about C-sections as I did not have one myself, but I spoke about my experience giving birth naturally.

Here are a few points I highlighted out for her:

•Push only when you are having contractions

• Take walks or use an exercise ball throughout to help with contractions.

• Remember that the pain won’t last forever and that you’ll be meeting your baby very soon!

•Stay positive at all times!

• Stay hydrated.

•Remember to rest as much as you can after giving birth

• The pain literally disappears immediately after you push your baby out.

My baby is officially 3 months and a few days and it just hit me that, my baby is growing 🥹 he’s no longer that tiny baby that was born just a few days ago (yes, it feels like a few days even though it isn’t) that could barely keep his head up and was constantly sleeping 24/7. Now my baby is more active during the day, constantly smiling and me and being able to balance his own head when being held up against my shoulder 😂! Oh! And sleeps throughout the night 😩😩😩😩(well at least most of the time, Lol)

Mommy episodes part 12.

Let’s talk maintenance, or rather “mommy maintenance”

Literally 3 days before giving birth, I went to the salon to get my hair and nails done. I was feeling a bit “dull” so I thought, why not just revamp myself up a bit.

On the day I gave birth, I was literally biting my nails off because I felt as if I wouldn’t manage with them. They were very short, but I convinced myself to remove them because I thought I wouldn’t be able to do the basic things like change my sons diaper or bathe him.

It’s been 3 months and I haven’t been doing my nails, just my hair, and to be honest, I miss my BAD BITCH NAILS OKAY!? So I’m starting once again, with the short nails to see if I can handle them. I’m giving them two months tbh, once I hit that two months with no problems, my sons about to have a mom that rocks stiletto nails. Y personal opinion about maintenance is, do it. Yes, just do it, maintain yourself mom , spoil yourself because you’ve been doing a lot! Your push gift should be you going to a spa for a massage, then hit the salon for some nails and extra long lashes (maybe just plain too 😂) then later for some shots with your girls! It’s okay

Postpartum is different for all moms. Some go through a state of depression , some fail to have a bond with their child, some find it difficult coping with a newborn, some have it easy and lucky and manage to cope. I had it easy I could say, but I had days where I honestly didn’t know what to do, I was just lucky to have my mother around me to guide me.

I feel like the best way of dealing with postpartum, is acknowledging what you’re struggling with, and find a way to work with it. If you’re struggling with bonding with your baby, make more time with him/her. Play with them, sing or talk to them during feeding time or bath time, co-sleep (if you can) , lay them on your chest and have a skin-to -skin moment with them.

If you’re struggling with coping, ask for help! Go online and search for online support groups, go on tumblr and search “mom tips” / “parenting tips” anything! You can even go on TikTok to ask some moms for some advice. Women who have had kids before will definitely give out some advice because they know what it means to be a mother and they understand the difficulties/challenges that come with being a mom. Just ask for help.

And it’s okay!

Let’s talk baby products!!

Let’s be real moms, every mom loves buying their baby something at the market. Whether it’s clothes or food or toys, truth is, we get some sort of excitement purchasing something for the little one, but have you ever thought about whether or not the product/ food is good for your baby ?

I’m a first time mom to a 3 month baby, and during these three months I have switched products a lot because I wanted “the best” for my baby. I found myself constantly buying expensive brands just because I thought they were the best. Haha, the more expensive, the better right ? JOKE!

The first expensive product I bought was baby formula. I recently started feeding baby formula but I also breastfeed here and there. The formula I first bought, but I won’t mention the name, was acidified formula. When I say my baby DID NOT WANT IT, I mean it. He didn’t even drink 2 sips, he immediately hated it I then switched up and bought a less expensive formula, but it was the sweet kind, like breast milk almost , and trust me, it is my babies best friend. He drinks it with no hesitation and has no digestive problems.

The second “expensive” thing I bought for my baby, was baby bathing products. Shuuu, these costed A LOT, and when I think about it now, they may have contributed in making my babies rash a lot worse since they were fragranced. I then switched up, and started bathing him with normal aqueous cream and using baby petroleum jelly, and also bathed him in rooibos water with some mint leaves, and when I say that my baby is serving skin, I MEAN HE IS SERVING SKINNNNN!😮‍💨🤌🏽

Another thing I basically wasted money in, was expensive baby clothes. 😭😂 yeah come on, I wanted my baby to dress up in the nice brands ok? But what I didn’t realise was how quick he was growing out of them. Some outfits he hasn’t even worn yet because he grows like every single day. So lately, I buy him bigger sizes. My baby is 3 months but he wears clothes for 6month+. Maybe he’s lucky cause he’s a tall baby, but that way the clothes will last him for some time

I used to think the “best method” was breastfeeding. I’ve come to realise that the best method, is any method that you prefer, as long as it helps baby grow.

Before I gave birth, I had people (mostly those who have kids) tell me that “the best way to give birth is to go natural, don’t opt for a c-section because there’s a lot of complications.” And “don’t go for a c-section because you’ll have to nurse the stitches afterwards”. lol, guys, I gave birth all naturally, no epidural , no medication and had an episiotomy done. I had to deal with stitches for an entire month because they weren’t healing well.

Another myth “Breastfeeding is the best for your baby”

I won’t lie and say that breastfeeding isn’t good. Of course it’s good, but I’ve been breastfeeding my baby for two months now and He’s been gaining very good! And has no complications or whatsoever. I probably would’ve opted for formula in the beginning if I wasn’t told that “formula makes your baby sick” or “formula babies have a lot of complications”

A few days ago, I noticed that my boobs weren’t as heavy and my baby had been feeding for 45+ minutes. He was fussy whilst breastfeeding, and my mom said something I never thought could happen. “Your boobs are not as heavy because the milk isn’t full yet cause he drank it, and he’s still hungry” I then made formula for my baby but he didn’t drink it that time and that was because it was a different brand and it was the sour formula. The following day, I bought yet another tin of formula of the “sweet” milk and guess what ? Baby downed it down like he hasn’t been eating for daysss!

It’s been three days of formula feeding and my boy is showing more gains so quickly. I also do breastfeed but mostly at night when my breasts are full of milk.

Another myth. …. Brand is the best baby brand. Y’all my baby had the most terrible rash the past few days. I switched from brands because I kept getting advice on what would help him. The last advice I got was a post that my baby daddy got off social media about a mother who was sharing tips on how she helped her son who was dealing with a pretty bad rash. And guess what? It was a home remedy. Simple instruction on teabag and mint leaves helped clear my sons rash.

POV: Welcome to the life of a mother to a 2 month old baby.

If this doesn’t describe how accurate my life is atm, then I don’t know what will. It’s only been two months but the only thing I’ve been saying is “where did time go” , “how has it been this long already”. Lol just a few days ago this guy was in my arms, tiny, looking all innocent and I was asking myself questions like “how will I manage? Can he just grow up fast please” Ha!! A joke

I think being a mom is some sort of superpower. Seriously, the way we’re able to juggle 1000 things at once, honestly never ceases to amaze me. Whenever I am feeding my baby, you’ll find me cooking and eating in between, mind you, i breastfeed yet I am able to do all of these things. Soon I’ll be going back to school and hopefully start work, and I will have to figure out a way to juggle all of these things plus be available for my baby. You get used to multitasking, although at times you do need some help. Sometimes I need my mother to look after him for a few minutes so that I can take a shower and clean up the house, it gets tough because little man loves his moms arms , so he can immediately feel when he is being held by someone else.

All in all, there is no such thing as a “perfect mom”. I’ve come to realise that what makes a “perfect” mom, is all the flaws we come with and how we deal with them. At times my baby will cry and I struggle to calm him down. My kind immediately gets engulfed in thoughts like “maybe I’m not cut out for this” or “I don’t know what to do”. Once the negativity starts, i immediately become aware and talk myself out of it. It’s like the devil tries to whisper negativity in my ears, and God immediately gives me a way out by making me aware of “my” thoughts. I then will either feed my baby, pick him up and calm him down, or check his diaper because sometimes the reason why he is crying on stop, is probably because he just needs a diaper change. 🥲

Having a baby , especially for the first time,is a bit challenging at times because there’s a lot of things you don’t know. For example, your baby might be having sleeping problems and you don’t know how to calm him, or you don’t know how to bond with your baby, or your baby might be having a certain type of rash and you don’t know how to help him without applying harmful products.

This has made me realise that as women, especially mothers, need a group where we can come together and help each other with tips and advices on how to tackle our problems.

I for one at saying this because I’ve found a lot of advices on TikTok and this has made me want to open an online support group for moms - women who need help with any sort of advice. Yes, I’m no therapist neither am I qualified in giving out advice, but I’d be more than happy to share advices on certain things that I have been through. I know there’s a lot who will be afraid to put out their problems “out there” so what I do is share everything on my page so that whoever comes across a certain blog post, will be able to get the help they need.

Sooooo, baby can finally sleep throughout the night! 🥹🥹🥹🥹 I’m so happy (no literally, I’m going back to my normal sleep schedule) baby boy wakes up once for his diaper change and a feed, then lil mans is knocked out. (My little milk-aholic 🥹💕)

He’s turning two months in a couple of days and honestly, I’m proud of myself for being a good mom. I honestly thought I wouldn’t survive because I’ve never been around a baby before. No literally 💀 I’m the last born at home and I do have one niece , but she didn’t grow up around me. The idea of having to step up and be a mother scared the crap out of me.

“Will I be able to hold him”

“What if I can’t feed him”

“What if I roll over and sleep on top of him”

“What if I…”

The list goes on and on

Pregnancy journey part 6.

I like how I have changed from wanting to spoil myself, to spoiling my baby.

Pregnancy journey part 5.

The truth about breastfeeding.

If it’s not your b00bs leaking every two seconds, it’s dealing with the heaviness. When I was heavily pregnant, I’d keep saying “oh, I can’t wait to give birth so I can finally sleep on my tummy again” HA!😂 what a joke ? This time I can’t sleep on my stomach still because of how big and heavy my bust is. Also, if I decide to take the risk and sleep on my stomach regardless of how heavy they are, I’ll most probably wake up to my bed sheets wet from the milk. 🥲

I still sleep on my sides! It’s not a problem thought because I’m used to it, also when my baby is hungry during the night, at least I don’t have to pick him up, find a comfortable position for him and feed, I just pop the boob out 😂 okay maybe sometimes. 💀 or 80% of the time.

Ahh, let me not forget, falling asleep while feeding my baby. 🥲 I’m lucky because when little man is full, he can let go of the boob himself and get back to sleep, leaving my with one boob out, knocked out. 😂

On the last day of the year, Looking back at everything, I’d like to say shoutout to me for being a bad a$$. I’d like to thank me for being there for me 😂-

On the real though , This year has taught me to be tough, mature, responsible and most importantly, it has taught me the meaning of love. The love I feel for my family and my son isn’t the same. Yes, I love them both, but the love I have for my baby is out of this world. It’s different. I birthed this little soul, half of him, is me.

Why I say the love is different?

1. Whenever people want to hold him, I immediately get into “protective - mommy mode”. It’s either I don’t want that particular person to hold him, or if I do allow him to be held, I want to monitor their movements 25/8. 😭💀yes it’s that serious.

2. I breastfeed , yes, but sometimes I pump for him if I’m busy which means that he drinks from the bottle sometimes. So most likely someone else will be looking after him like my mom, or gran. Because my baby loves his milk sooooo much, when he drinks from the bottle , it’s a problem. Lil man will drink so much that 80% of the time, it ends up choking him. So me being me, I keep wanting to watch them feed him so that they can do it properly to avoid him choking 😭 I mean I know it’s not their fault, but I still want them to keep feeding by giving him breaks in between y’all 😂

3. The sound of my baby’s cry. Listen y’all, that sound is literally the cutest yet heartbreaking sound ever 😂😭. Every time my baby cries, I immediately jump. I want to save him from whatever is making him cry😂 and most of the time he’s crying just because he woke up from his sleep. 💀

Yesterday was the first time I cried ever since my baby has arrived. I was crying because I was worried about him, and felt completely helpless. He was coughing and sneezing , and couldn’t sleep.

You know, as a mom, all you want is what’s best for your child. All you want is to protect them at all times, make sure they’re well. Once something happens and you “can’t figure it out” or “don’t know what to do”, you feel like you’re not a good mom.

I remember taking him and placing him on my chest (this was honestly to burp him, but it helped) and I started praying. I prayed to God to give me the strength to be okay for my baby. I asked God to look after him, and help him sleep through the night. After praying , and putting him down to sleep, I felt better. I felt better because, it’s as if something told me that “it’s okay to cry and feel worried, you’re still a good mom.”