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Today's Document

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THE LAST OF US — 1.04 “Please Hold to My Hand”
Feeling Like Shit - Bo Burnham: Inside
he put it into words
Greenlantern: (Setting plate of cookies down in front of Batman) Hey Batsy, do you want any?
Batman: No.
(Batman’s cape opens slightly to reveal a small green gloved hand. The hand pats around the table until it reaches the cookies. It then takes one cookie and disappears back into Batman’s cape. Batman looks on unperturbed.)

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Hal: I'm a moderate, peaceful person
Barry: You threw a chair at Bruce at the last JL meeting
Hal: Which was a moderate, peaceful compromise for the table I wanted to throw at him.
Kyle: What’s an orgasm?
Hal: When you fold a piece of paper to look like cranes and shit.
Guy: That’s oregano, bitch.
Hal: Well why don't you teach us what it is then?
Guy: I don't- That- That's not how it works!!
Kyle, scoffs: Just admit it, you don't know what it is either.
Guy: *angry sputter* John help me out!
John: Don't get me into this.
Unus Annus Day 289: but out of context
You’ve all heard of “Batman accidentally uses his suave playboy voice instead of his intimidating growly one while interrogating a thug” but now I present you: BATMAN ACCIDENTALLY USES HIS TIRED DAD™ VOICE.
I-been-working-on-this-case-for-76-hours-straight-Batman: *sigh* what did you do
Suddenly-guilty-feeling-Riddler: I can explain
Batman: I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.
Crestfallen Two Face: I’m disappointed with me too :(
Ok… but imagine if in an au he used it on Red Hood BEFORE he knew it was Jason Todd.
Batman: *sigh* What happened?
Red Hood: It’s not what you think!
Red Hood: …Oh god, it still works on me!
Batman: ….?
Batman: Harley, Ivy, I expected so much better from you both. What’s wrong?
A very sheepish Harley and Ivy: *spill their guts out of guilt*
*inhuman shrieking* love this idea!

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"So... When will you forgive yourself ?”
Barry Allen: We promised Superman we would prep for the meeting.
Hal Jordan: No, *you* promised Supes. See, I never promise Clark anything. That way, I never disappoint him. I try to be considerate.
At a Justice League meeting
Green Lantern: I’d like everyone to take a moment to think back to a time when they did something stupid, how they were treated, and how they wish they were treated.
Batman: …What did you do.
hello my name is,
Hal Jordan
BatFam show but its just Parks & Rec
/ twitter /

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C'mon heehoo have some Takis it's ok
Reblog if ANNUS
Ignore if STUPID