✰𝐌𝗼𝐥𝐥𝐲✰

Sirius: ah- ahh! remus! remus, harder! *moans*

Remus: *moans aggressively* fuck, sirius! sirius!

Peter: *leans in next to James' face* say hello to her for me :)

James: I'll be right back. *hangs up*

James: Oh my Godric, Moony! Moony I'm coming! Get up Sirius, for Merlin's sake!

Sirius: It won't hurt him, he'll be fine.

James: What.

Sirius: He's just screaming at the doll's head I left in there.

Sirius: That happens to be engorged to ten times its original size.

James: That's brilliant Sirius! We need to--- I mean, not cool man, why did you do it without me? But I respect it regardless.

Sirius: *hand on his heart* There is no honour in a prankster's profession.

*Remus screaming again*

James: Oh yeah we better help him.

lesbian

gay/mlm

bi

trans

lgbtq

pan

ace

aro

nonbinary

original baker 8-stripe

james: We’ll make sure that it’s everyone except us five.

the next day, everyone’s wands are just random sticks from the forest except for James’, Sirius’, and Peter’s.

remus: you fucking asses.

regulus: how have you not killed him yet?

remus: ones my boyfriend and the other is basically my brother. wait.

regulus: shut up.

sirius:

james: