Reading LM Montgomery has got me thinking that in some ways weโve gotten more restrictive about what a โnormalโ family structure is. Itโs not at all uncommon in her books to have households and families made up of groups rather than a couple and/or children. Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert are brother and sister. Rosemary and Ellen West are sisters. Marilla Cuthbert and Rachel Lynde are friends who move in together. Aunt Elizabeth, Aunt Laura, and Emily all live together at New Moon well into Emilyโs adulthood and career as an author.
Now, a lot of this is related to the restrictions that women did face in terms of career options and social respectability. Living alone and being self-supporting is a much more common option for women now than it was in the late 1800s/early 1900s, and thatโs a very good thing. I think singleness and living alone has become more normalized than it was then for both men and women (modern appliances probably helped with that shift!).
But the flip side is that living with adults other than your spouse โ siblings, or other relatives, or friends โ on a long-term basis was treated as much more normal then than it is now! Now itโs taken for granted that if youโre single and without kids, youโll live alone if economically capable of doing do. And I feel like that could he contributing to increases in loneliness. For most of human history, in most societies, I have the impression that it wasnโt typical for single people to live alone. Having the freedom to do so is great! But having it feel atypical to not do so could be guiding people who are genuinely unhappy alone to think that loneliness or finding a romantic partner are their only options.
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