How strange it is to be anything at all.

Well, there are two points here. The first is that, in fact, we should always look for relationships that make us satisfied and complete. Relationships that leave us wanting more, that make us miss the person and that are intense. All this is really normal and it is healthy that you want it from a partner. It's perfectly normal for you to want this from a relationship. That said, point two is that you're a recovering addict. No, you read it right. People who go through disastrous relationships, as surreal as it may seem, often become addicted to the cycle of emotions that happen during them. This is because the brain differentiates our emotional states much more when there are peaks of "opposite" emotions. For example, have you ever drunk water after you've practically fainted from thirst? Or did you eat food when you were very hungry, or did you even manage to go to the bathroom after a tight time? If so, I bet if you try to remember well the feeling you had in those moments, it was probably way more intense than usual. The water seemed incredibly refreshing, the food was much better than normal, and going to the bathroom gave you such a relief that you felt even slightly drunk and relaxed on your way out. This is because of the opposition of extremes: it is not that the food was really wonderful, but because you were very hungry that you felt that way. When the brain deals with the output from one extreme to the other, by comparison, it makes certain experiences seem much more intense than they really should be. A snack at MC Donalds suddenly looks like the tastiest food you've ever eaten in your life, if that's what you ate after spending 18 hours without eating. It wasn't the burger, it was you. Now imagine you go through this experience over and over again. Time after time after time, for a while. Your body begins to get used to it, begins to want more. In the case of abusive or bad relationships, what happens is that the lows are so low that even normal attitudes seem high. The day your boyfriend gave you a gift, or was affectionate with you, gives you twice as intense a pleasure and satisfaction because you are actually desperate for attention. Because he makes you feel so bad that when he does something that does you good, however trivial it may be, it seems like a blessing, a wonder. You most likely have your sense of normal distorted. It is not that it is normal to feel a mild reaction in a "good" relationship, but it is that your mind is addicted to the ups and downs of bad relationships. Because your current boyfriend doesn't throw you off the cliff and then pull you back, you're not feeling the same level of emotional reaction as before, because the "emotional trail" you travel with him is actually much smaller. It's not that the highs are lower, it's that the lows are not at the bottom of the cliff. I would say that you may need to give time, and perhaps even seek a conversation with a psychologist to help you "recalibrate" your emotional side. Because the human brain is able to get used to all sorts of situations, even bad ones - and that's why people who experience abusive relationships often end up going through a number of bad relationships in sequence. Because their minds end up accepting that kind of experience as normal. You may need to "detox" first, before your emotions return to the healthy pattern.