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It started with a look. You swear it was just a look.
You were talking to his mother as she told you about all the different things she could build for you as long as you provided the stone, wood, and gold up front. Then, out he came. Marching up the stairs from his dark cavern. All it took was one look. You noticed how remnants of last night's eyeliner smeared across his under eye. You noticed clothes were wrinkled and his hair had clearly not been checked in a mirror with the way parts of it stood up from the rest.
As he came up the stairs, a light aroma of stale cigarettes followed him. You almost let out a snort thinking, of course this guy is a smoker. And that’s when your eyes met. It was only for a second, but it felt far longer. A lack of recognition flickered across his face, and his eyebrows furrowed for just a moment.
“Sebastian! It was about time you came up from down there. Have you met Y/N? She just moved into that old farm past the bus stop…It was your grandfather’s right hon?” You turn to Robin and see her smiling face, clearly expectant for you to speak up and properly introduce yourself to her lonesome son.
“Yeah…I wanted a break from the city..” You say, shooting a shy smile in Sebastian’s direction. You didn’t expect him to let out a surprised laugh.
“You left the city? To come here? Pelican Town?” His voice carried disbelief as he raised his eyebrows and looked you up and down. You felt the hairs stand up on your arms at the feeling of being closely examined by the stranger. “Well, have fun with that,” He says sarcastically before turning back on his way to the kitchen.
“Sebastian, don't be rude!” Robin called off after him while letting out a small, exasperated sigh. “I’m sorry about him Y/N…He isn’t a social butterfly that's for sure. Now where were we?” She gives you a polite smile as she changes the subject back to business.
“Oh, Horse stables I believe?”
“That’s right! Now if you don’t get a horse soon, you’re going to be doing a lot of walking around town…” As she continues to talk, her words start registering less and less. You continue to glance in the direction that the mysterious boy walked off to, wondering if he was nearly as interested in you as you were in him.
Next, it was a smoke.
You had finished up a long day in the mines, and too exhausted to continue, you were headed home. It was around 9 PM, and the cool air refreshed your skin. You only got to breathe in the fresh air for a moment though, as the smell of cigarette smoke soon followed. You looked around for the source until you saw Sebastian, standing under a tree with a lit cigarette in his fingers. He hasn’t noticed you yet, so he just looks out across the lake, lost in thought. The peaceful look on his face as he takes another puff puts a small smile on your face.
“Does your mommy know you smoke?” You call out to him teasingly as you walk towards him. He jumped a little, surprised that he was no longer alone.
“It’s not a secret…But I doubt she’s noticed,” He says to you with a sad smile. You tilt your head at the remark. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out an open pack of Marlboros. He holds it out, offering for you to take one. You hesitate for a moment, but as your eyes look up to meet him, the decision is made for you. You take one out of the pack and place it between your lips. He takes out his lighter, and you lean in for him to light it. With the bright flame illuminating his face, you see his teeth biting down gently on his lip, his eyes intently looking down on you. The light is replaced with the smaller one at the end of your cigarette.
A minute of silence and a few deep inhales pass before you decide to find out a little more about the guy standing beside you. His presence is quiet, yet striking.
“So…Sebastian. Do you do anything other than live in your mom’s basement and sneak out at night to smoke?” You ask him. The corners of his mouth twist up into what you might just mistake for a playful grin.
“I’m a software developer. Sometimes video games. And for your information, I’m saving up to get out of my mom's basement,” His words are feisty, but his tone is playful. “What about you? What did you do before you decided to take on the wilderness?”
You let out a small laugh before replying, “Just a boring desk job…Now I get to spend my day chopping down trees and fighting monsters, so in my book it’s an upgrade.” Sebastian smiles, not just at your words, but at you. He puts out his cigarette against the tree that you’re standing against. He takes yours from between your fingers and takes a drag from it, before handing it back to you.
“I should get back inside. I have a project I have to finish by the morning…”
“Oh yeah, you go do that,” You ramble quietly, disappointed your time together had to end so soon.
Sebastian starts to turn back to his house before glancing back and saying, “It was nice hanging out with you.”
“Yeah, you too,” you reply, thankful the dark is covering the blush rising to your cheeks.
Lastly, all it took was being at the right place at the right time.
It was Friday night, and everyone was gathered at the saloon as they usually are. You sat next to Abigail as you both watched Sebastian and Sam in a heated pool match. Still being relatively new in town, you were happy to make a quick friend in the purple haired girl who you had bonded with over animals and music.
“Aw come on Seb, is that the best you can got?” Taunts Sam after making a shot. Sam, who is losing by a landslide. You laugh and take a sip from the Joja Cola in your hand that Abigail had brought you.
“God this stuff is disgusting…” You say just to yourself as you place the can on the floor.
“I know right…I don’t know how Sam drinks that stuff.” You look up at Sebastian, not realizing he had been listening. He greets you with a stupid smile that makes your heart do a little flip.
“Come on Sebastian, eyes on the prize. I have five dollars riding on this round. Sam was that cocky he could win. Bring it home, man,” Abigail urges, not realizing she had interrupted a moment between the two of you.
As the game carried on, it was down to Sebastian’s last shot, as Sam still had a couple balls left to go.
“Hey Y/N, why don’t you take my last shot for me? I’m tired of making every single one myself.” You look up at the mention of your name. Sam groans at the trash talk, but you know that wasn’t Sebastian’s actual intentions with his offer.
“Oh I’ve never really played before…” You hesitate as you stand up and get closer to the table, examining the table closer.
“Don’t worry. I’ll help.” Sebastian hands you the cue stick. He moves to stand behind you, his hand positioning yours on the stick. He’s so close to you, his chin is practically resting on your shoulder. As he adjusts your aim and informs you which pocket he wants you to go for, you feel his breath warming your ear.
“Just…like…that.” He finally helps you pull back and take the shot. The ball collides with the 8 ball and pushes it to roll right where you needed it. You smile gleefully as you realize you made the shot, and just won Sebastian the game. You drop the stick on the table as Sebastian pulls your shoulder around to face him and offers you up a high five. Your hands collide and he interlocks his fingers with yours and shakes you a little. “See? Even Y/N, who’s never touched a pool stick in her life can kick your ass Sam!” You laugh as Sam curses Sebastian out and slams a five dollar bill into Abigail’s palm.
“On that note, I should really get home. I have to wake up early,” you say, causing Abigail to groan and beg you to stay a little longer.
“I have to get going too. I’ll walk you,” Sebastian says. His words reminiscent of an offer, but his voice makes it clear you don’t really have a choice.
“Well alright then…” You say goodnight to everyone and head out towards the door with Sebastian following closely behind you. You swear you hear Sam say something with your and Sebastian’s names, causing Abigail to cackle out. You look up to see if Sebastian noticed, and if he did, he showed no sign of it.
“You know, that was pretty great back there. You sure you’ve never played before? You might just be a natural.” The cold air nips at your skin as you step outside. The sun had set since you’d first got to the Saloon, and your outfit was not suited for the cool temperature. Without saying anything about it, Sebastian wraps his arm around you. He grabs your arm and rubs it, trying to warm you up.
“Maybe I’m secretly a world champion, and we just completely conned Sam back there,” you joke, trying to ignore his touch and proximity. “You know you don’t have to walk me all the way back to the farm right? It’s really out of your way.”
“I don’t mind. I’ll just make sure you get there safe and then head home.” His words make you smile and you immediately feel like an idiot. Don’t make it more than it is…Anyone would offer to do the same thing, you tell yourself. But that doesn’t stop your heart beat from quickening.
You spend the rest of the walk getting to know each other a little better. He tells you about how when he was little, it was just him and his mom. Then she met Demitrius when he came to do a study on the aquatic animals in Pelican Town. You tell him about your grandfather, and how badly you want to return his farm to its former glory in his memory. You exchange jokes and stories, and before you know it, you’re at your front porch. You take a couple of steps up onto the porch and turn to face him below you.
“Thanks for walking me home,” you know he can see your dumb smile under the porchlight, but you’ve long stopped caring.
“Don’t worry about it. You’re new here…New things are exciting.”
Before you can stop yourself, you say to him, “I excite you?” As the words leave your mouth you regret it, knowing he probably found it weird. To your surprise, his eyebrows raise and he steps up the stairs to meet you at your level. No longer having the higher ground, whatever freak confidence made you ask him that question has disappeared. Sebastian places his hand on the side of your face. His touch is warm, and it contrasts the cold air strikingly. He stands there looking down at you for a few moments, silent.
“Yeah…I guess you could say that.” Before you even realize what’s happening he leans down and presses his lips gently against yours. You let yourself lean into the soft kiss before he pulls away, staying just an inch away from you. “In fact, you could probably say anything right now and it would go in one ear and out the other.” He leans back in. This time, he is half as gentle. He places his other hand on the side of your waist, and you feel him playing with the hem of your shirt. The kiss is heated and his lips part, allowing your tongue to meet him. He tastes like cigarettes and soda, a taste that is surprisingly delightful. Your hands are on his chest, and the feeling of his heart beating under your fingers is thrilling.
He backs you up against the front door, and you fumble in your pocket for your keys, not daring to break away from him just yet. As you finally grab onto your house key, he takes it from you. He keeps you held up against the door in front of him as he jams the key into the lock and twists it. He reaches for the door knob and opens it behind you. You grab onto his torso and pull him with you as you step back into your house. His lips press back onto yours, hungry for you.
You break away to go sit on your couch as he shuts and locks the door. He comes and sits beside you. Gone from his eyes is the look of pure lust you saw just moments ago. It’s been replaced by something softer, more sensitive.
“You’re so fucking pretty. You know that right?” He’s examining you closely as he reaches to touch your hair. He wraps it around his finger and twirls it as he looks at you.
“Well I would hope you wouldn’t come barging into my house like this with me if you thought I was hideous,” you laugh, and he shakes his head at you.
“Yeah, you’re definitely far from it.” Just like that, his lips are on you again. He presses a soft kiss onto your lips, and you almost frown as you feel him leaving until he places another on your jawline. He pulls your hair out his way and continues to press kisses down your neck, getting more sloppy as he goes. Your breathing quickens and you grab at his hair, curling your fingers up in it. He reaches your collarbone, and you feel him nip and suck it it, surely forming a mark you’ll have to cover up the next day. Finally he leans back, his eyes scanning you, admiring his work. You can’t do anything but sit there and stare at Sebastian. You feel drunk on his touch, high on his smiling face.
You never want this night to end, especially as he leans back into your lips, kissing you softly. His lips are clinging to yours and he grabs at your neck, his hand pulling you into him. His other hand begins traveling, grasping at your breast gently over your shirt and cupping it in his hand. You let out a soft moan into his lips, desperate for him to keep going.
Right as you feel him trail his hand to the bottom of your shirt, you’re interrupted by a loud ringing.
“Fuck.” Your mouth gapes open with a frown, missing his kisses. You lift your knees up to your chest and sit back as you watch him grab his phone from his pocket and let out a groan. “Shit…It’s my mom. I’m sorry Y/N, just give me a second.” He rests his hand on your knee as he holds the phone up to his ear. You take the moment to reflect on the absurd string of events that took place. His eyes fall on you with a look that you can only describe as pity. Your stomach drops and you purse your lips tightly.
“Yeah…Alright. I’ll be back there soon.” You let out a disappointed him as he hangs up the phone and puts it back in his pocket.
“Y/N…”
“Go ahead. Don’t worry about it.” You give him a small smile, trying your best to mask your disappointment.
“My sister is upset about something probably incredibly stupid…And she needs me home to help deal because Demetrius is on some goddamn work trip.” You nod along as he talks, wishing he would stop looking at you with such apologetic eyes. “Fuck…I really would’ve liked to stay longer. You’re really…” His words trail off and he shakes his head. He grabs the back of your head and pulls you in for one last, long, deep kiss. With that, he stands up to go, leaving the couch empty beside you. He gets to the front door, and turns back to you one last time.
“Next time,” He says, giving you a cheeky smile that makes your brain go blank. You’re barely aware until you hear the door shut behind him. Now you’re sitting there, clutching your knees, completely dumbfounded. Because what the fuck just happened. And what the hell does ‘Next time’ mean?
••••••
Hi! This is my first time posting! How do we feel? There will probably be a part two coming so look out for that!
Sae's daughter has a new toy that he's less than happy about
When Sae was out of the country and couldn't take you and Kimiyo with him, he never missed your nightly FaceTime call. Every evening at exactly 7:30, no matter what time it was on his end, his phone would ring.
The calls were usually more for the two of you than for Kimiyo. She adored her dad, but she was only two. After a minute or two of excited babbling, something shiny or colorful would steal her attention, leaving you and Sae to actually catch up.
Tonight, though, she was determined to stay.
Earlier that afternoon you'd bought her a little Jellycat bunny, and she'd been talking about showing him ever since.
"Daddy!" she squealed the second his face appeared on the screen. "Look! Mommy got me a bunny!"
She bounced in front of the camera, squeezing the plush against her chest.
Sae blinked.
"...What?"
He was sitting against a locker in the team's changing room, one AirPod in, towel draped over his shoulders. He adjusted the earbud like maybe he'd heard her wrong.
"A bunny!" Kimiyo held it closer to the camera. "Isn't she cute?"
He stared at the stuffed rabbit.
You frowned for a second, confused by his unusually blank expression.
Then it clicked.
You slapped a hand over your mouth.
"...Seriously, Sae?" you laughed. "She's two. She doesn't know the lore."
The muscle in his jaw twitched and a faint vein appeared on his forehead.
"Kimiyo," he began, taking a very measured breath, "Daddy will buy you any toy you want,” His voice stayed perfectly calm. "if you take the bunny back."
You had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing.
Kimiyo gasped dramatically, clutching the plush tighter.
"No!" she whined. "I love Bunny!"
"I'll buy you two toys."
"No!"
"Three."
She shook her head so hard her pigtails bounced.
"Bunny stays."
Somewhere behind Sae, one of his teammates poked his head into frame.
"Everything good?"
Sae didn't even look away from the screen.
"No."
The teammate quietly disappeared.
Kimiyo, blissfully unaware of the silent war she'd started, kissed the bunny on its little head.
"See? She loves me."
Sae looked offended, but his heart softened at the sight of his baby girl so happy.
After another failed attempt to negotiate with a toddler, he finally sighed.
"...Okay, love. Daddy has to go."
"Bye, Daddy!" Kimiyo waved enthusiastically before running off to her room, bunny tucked under one arm.
The second she disappeared, Sae's eyes shifted to you.
"Y/N."
"I know, I know," you laughed. "She saw it in the store and refused to let go. What was I supposed to do?"
"You were supposed to buy literally anything else."
You smiled, then instinctively glanced down the hallway to make sure Kimiyo was out of earshot.
"Besides," you said quietly, resting a hand over your stomach, "I figured we should let her have this one. We still don't know how she's going to handle becoming a big sister."
His expression softened instantly.
The irritation melted away like it had never existed, "I know."
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
"I can't wait to come home and hold all three of you."
You smiled back, warmth settling in your chest.
From somewhere off-screen, someone called his name, followed by what sounded like the coach telling everyone to hurry up.
Sae sighed.
"I have to go."
"I figured."
"Don't stay up too late."
"You'll be calling when I wake up anyway."
"It'll be late for you."
"I don't care."
His voice was quiet, but certain.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"And when I get home," he added with one last glance at the phone, "that bunny is disappearing."
You laughed.
"No, it's not."
"We'll see."
The call ended before you could argue, leaving you staring at your own reflection on the dark screen.
A few seconds later, Kimiyo came running back into the living room.
"Mommy!"
"Yeah?"
She hugged the bunny with all the strength her tiny arms could manage.
can you imagine how mean sebastian would be once he notices you have a thing for his hands?
he starts becoming more meticulous about his manicures, nails always coated in an inky black and cuticles pushed back. he had donned rings every now and then prior to his realization, but they become much more frequent once he noticed your squirming at the saloon. he’ll settle a hand on your thigh, fingers dancing along the hemming of the pretty little sundress you wore to escape the summer heat. while abigail and sam had missed the flustered expression etched into your features, sebastian definitely hadn’t. when he’s walking you home, hand curled around your waist because “it’s what a good friend would do” as he ignores the way you sneak glances in his direction. you’re not sure how, but the night somehow leads you pressed against the blossoming apple tree with a hand nestled between your thighs, skilled fingers dancing across your folds expertly enough to have you gasping his name in between kisses. he’ll make you beg for more, have you all teary eyed and desperate pleas as his fingers curl just right.
“‘s the matter, sweetheart? all you have to do is tell me what you want.”
whatever you do, don’t imagine a munch!sebastian so far into his oral fixation, his head nestled perfectly between your thighs and inky black hair pooling between your fingers nestled atop his head, half torn between pulling him closer to forcing him away to stave off the nth orgasm of the day.
don’t imagine how munch!sebastian’s ringed-fingers and black-nail-polish-clad nails (something you had insisted on doing as a form of ‘quality time’ and definitely not because the sight of his pretty, pretty hands had you weak at the knees) dig into your thighs when you get particularly squirmy.
don’t imagine munch!sebastian so lost in your his own personal heaven that he fails to notice the sound of the farmhouses’s door opening, as well your frantic tugging at his hair meant to grab his attention. he’s much too focused on making you cry out his name to pay any further attention than that.
don’t imagine how two of munch!sebastian’s fingers go to prod at your slick folds before getting enveloped by your gummy walls. it only take three plotting curls of his fingers before you’re coming undone on his pierced lips for the umpteenth time that night, body quivering in orgasmic bliss and cunt absolutely drooling.
don’t imagine how you make eye contact with munch!sebastian’s closest friend, sam, as your orgasm crashes over you. it was hard not to make eye contact with sam. his baby blue eyes were wide and pupils blown while a rosy pink flush overtook his face.
don’t imagine how munch!sebastian only slows down for just a second for you to catch your breath before he’s itching to pull another climax from you.
don’t imagine how quickly visible the tent in sam’s pants becomes when munch!sebastian pulls away to ask “baby, can you squirt for me?”
don’t imagine how munch!sebastian renders you to loud moans and incomprehensible cries of pleasure all over again, pierced tongue pressed flat against your clit before his lips completely envelop it, cheeks hollowing as he sucks.
don’t imagine how sam bites his lip before finally making his presence known to munch!sebastian. “thanks for the invitation, seb.”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
⭑ TAGS/WARNINGS: x reader (romantic), smau, crack, fluff, swear words, unfunny jokes, established relationship, cringe, oliver is probably very ooc
⭑ WORD COUNT: x
notes at the end
!! PLEASE DON’T COPY OR FEED MY WORK TO AI !!
.✦ ݁˖ ALEXIS NESS
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.✦ ݁˖ MEGURU BACHIRA
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.✦ ݁˖ EITA OTOYA
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.✦ ݁˖ SEISHIRO NAGI
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.✦ ݁˖ OLIVER AIKU
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.✦ ݁˖ VIVIAN HUGO
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⭑ DIVIDERS: by @/tsumiinum
⭑ JUNII’S NOTES: live love laugh cats, also the next post is finally going to be something different than blue lock smau cause my fight with write block is coming to an end
isagi starts every interview completely normal. you're thinking, wow. he's actually really good at this. then the interviewer asks, "how did you know where the ball would go?" and he accidentally spends three uninterrupted minutes psychoanalyzing every player on the pitch like he's reading their browser history.
"well, the center-back has a habit of shifting his weight 0.4 seconds early whenever he's under pressure, the goalkeeper favors his right knee because of an injury from two years ago, and my teammate looked scared so i knew he'd panic-pass–"
the reporter is blinking. the translator is sweating. his coach off-camera is making the universal wrap it up motion.
someone asks him if he considers another rookie striker his rival. isagi smiles so sweetly everyone expects a respectful answer. "no. he's kind of just there."
the clip gets 20 million views overnight because the other striker was standing six feet away doing his own interview, but he heard isagi loud and clear (shown by his very expressive side eye).
during a live broadcast, the interviewer asks, "who's the hardest defender you've faced?"
isagi answers immediately. "oh, definitely him." he points directly at the player walking behind the camera. the defender hears his name, smiles proudly... before isagi continues, "because he's impossible to predict. everyone else is pretty easy after 20 minutes." the poor defender doesn't know whether that was a compliment or a violation.
they ask him for a message to his growing fanbase. he gets nervous and blurts, "please don't argue with people online because of me." the interviewer laughs. isagi doesn't. "seriously. i can see you guys doing it."
cut to twitter immediately arguing over that clip.
itoshi rin
every interviewer quickly realizes asking rin open-ended questions is a mistake.
"how does it feel to score your first professional hat trick?" "... fine." "can you elaborate?" "... i scored three."
a reporter asks him if he'd like to thank anyone after his man of the match performance. rin thinks for a full 10 seconds. "... no."
the interview ends four questions early because nobody knows where to go from there.
sponsors desperately want a marketable superstar, so they coach him beforehand.
"smile."
"okay."
"try to sound warmer."
"okay."
"maybe thank the fans."
"okay."
the camera rolls.
"thank you... i guess."
bro, that's less warm.
one interviewer jokingly asks, "any weaknesses?”
rin answers, "interviews."
the entire press room bursts into laughter. rin wasn't joking.
itoshi sae
sae somehow gives the impression that he's media-trained because he always looks composed. he's not. he's just naturally expressionless.
a reporter asks, "how important was teamwork today?"
someone asks him if he gets nervous before big matches.
"no."
"never?"
"traffic is annoying."
that becomes one of those random athlete quotes that gets edited over meme music for absolutely no reason.
they ask him what he thinks about becoming one of the league's newest stars.
“people say that."
"well, do YOU think that?"
"not really."
his club's social media admin nearly throws their laptop because they'd already drafted three "our rising superstar ⭐" posts.
the funny thing is reporters slowly adapt to him. by the end of the season, interviews sound like hostage negotiations.
"one-word answers are okay."
"good."
"excellent! that's progress."
nagi seishiro
nagi forgets interviews exist until someone shoves a microphone in his face and says, "congratulations on the win."
"oh… thanks."
they ask him what was going through his mind when he scored an unbelievable volley.
"dinner."
"... excuse me?"
"i didn’t have lunch."
the clip hits 15 million likes because everyone believes him.
one interviewer asks him to describe himself in three words.
"sleepy. hungry. done."
the interviewer starts laughing so hard they accidentally end the segment early.
he constantly answers rhetorical questions.
"i guess dreams really do come true, huh?"
"yeah…”
"what?"
"dreams… they come true."
the club eventually starts assigning reo to stand just off-camera because whenever nagi starts drifting into outer space mid-answer, reo silently points toward the next reporter.
mikage reo
reo walks into interviews with CEO confidence and absolutely zero filter. reporters love him because he'll answer anything. PR managers hate him because he'll answer anything.
someone casually asks what convinced him to join his club.
"money wasn't really important."
his agent nods proudly.
"i mean i already have enough."
his agent physically leaves the interview frame.
an interviewer asks if he gets competitive.
reo nods enthusiastically. "absolutely."
"with who?"
"everyone."
"everyone?"
"even the GPS. if it says i'll get there at 4:32, i'm getting there at 4:31 or earlier."
they ask him who spends the most time getting ready before matches.
he answers: "nagi."
nagi, walking behind him with bedhead and one untied shoe, goes "huh?”
his biggest crime is accidentally revealing behind-the-scenes information.
"coach gave a really inspiring speech before kickoff."
the reporter is like "really? what did he say?"
reo, without thinking, answers, “he said if we lost he'd shave someone's eyebrows."
the club has to cut to commercial.
by his second season, every interview starts with a PR representative whispering, "remember... some things stay in the locker room."
reo smiles confidently. "of course."
five minutes later: "so anyway, here's what happened on the team bus..."
bachira meguru
bachira is every media manager's favorite person... until the interview actually starts. he walks in smiling, waving at every camera, complimenting the interviewer's shoes, and everyone thinks, finally, someone charismatic.
five minutes later, he's somehow talking about how defenders "taste different."
"... what?"
"like... some taste like spicy ramen. some taste like stale bread."
"taste…?"
"yeah."
nobody asks him to elaborate because they're honestly scared of the answer.
he's the king of answering questions that were never asked. "what was the key to today's win?"
"one time, i got chased by a goose."
"sorry?"
"i think that's why i'm so good at dribbling."
people believe him.
he has absolutely no concept of inside thoughts.
"your chemistry with your striker seems incredible."
"yeah! he looked constipated during warmups so i knew he'd have a good game."
the camera cuts to said teammate looking absolutely betrayed.
every interview somehow ends with the interviewer laughing instead of getting the answer they originally wanted.
shidou ryusei (suggestive content… 😔)
the league has to implement a five-second broadcast delay specifically because of shidou.
every single interview begins with a PR manager saying, "please... just answer normally."
"got it."
30 seconds later: "that bicycle kick made me feel like i was ‘bout to finish all over the field, dude! i thought my soul left my body for a second!”
"... we'll... use that."
reporters try to ask him the safest questions imaginable. "how did you celebrate after scoring?"
"i unloaded the trailer cuh."
"... pardon?"
"my toilet saw the chocolate gates."
one interviewer asks what motivates him.
"violence."
complete silence.
"... on the pitch!" he laughs.
the clip ends before he can clarify.
after one particularly chaotic interview, a veteran reporter is heard whispering into the mic, "i need a drink…”
karasu tabito
karasu thinks interviews are funny because reporters always ask questions they already know the answer to.
"did you expect to win today?"
"would've been weird if i expected to lose."
he accidentally develops a reputation for roasting reporters without actually meaning to.
"how did you deal with their press?"
"same way i'm dealin’ with these questions."
"... how's that?"
"patiently."
one interviewer asks him for his biggest weakness.
"answerin’ stupid questions."
"... are you talking about soccer?"
"i am now."
he has the most disrespectful habit of looking directly into the camera like he's on the office every time someone asks something ridiculous.
"do you think scoring goals is important?"
karasu just stares into the lens. "... nah, not really."
fans love him because every interview feels less like a press conference and more like watching someone argue with customer service.
kaiser michael
kaiser is somehow both the easiest and hardest player to interview. he speaks clearly, sits with perfect posture, and always looks like he's in complete control... until you realize he's answering every question like he's trying to entertain himself instead of the audience.
one reporter asks, "what makes you different from other strikers?"
kaiser smiles politely. "i score more."
"... anything else?"
"that was the important part."
sponsors beg him to sound more humble, like "remember, acknowledge your teammates."
kaiser responds with, "of course."
camera rolls.
"my teammates did an excellent job creating chances."
everyone in the room smiles.
"it would've been a shame if i wasted them."
the smiles disappear immediately.
an interviewer asks if he ever feels pressure living up to expectations.
"uh, why would i?"
"because millions of people are watching you."
"then they should enjoy the show."
the clip gets turned into every football edit imaginable.
he has a habit of accidentally making everything sound like a challenge.
"any message for the defenders you'll be facing next week?"
"rest well."
"because?"
"you'll need it."
the opposing club's social media account reposts the clip with 17 question marks.
ness alexis
ness is trying so hard to sound professional. emphasis on trying.
his very first interview starts just fine actually.
"we're all working incredibly hard, and i'm grateful to be here–"
"what makes kaiser such a dangerous player?"
his brain disconnects from PR mode so fast.
"have you SEEN him?"
"yes–”
"he's amazing."
“right–”
"like... genuinely unbelievable."
somewhere off-camera, the media manager slowly lowers their head into their hands.
reporters quickly discover that asking him about literally anyone else gets a normal answer. but asking him about kaiser turns him into the president of the fan club.
someone asks him to describe kaiser in one word.
"one?" he pouts.
"yes."
"... that's impossible."
during one interview, he accidentally says, "sometimes i forget cameras are recording."
the interviewer laughs.
"wait… they're recording now?"
the panic on his face becomes one of the league's most-used reaction memes.
by the end of his rookie season, interviewers intentionally sneak one kaiser question into every interview because watching ness completely abandon professionalism halfway through has become must-see television. every single time he catches himself halfway into another speech–
"he's just so incredi–" deep breath. "he's... a valuable teammate."
I find it kind of funny that Shane is labelled the "i can fix him" romance of sdv but...he really isn't. You, the player, actually do very little in terms of "fixing" him. You watch him have a few breakdowns, and you intervene when he's drunk on the cliffs, but...he's the one who decides to start going to therapy. He's the one who decides to quit drinking. These are not things that you ever encourage him to do. You can headcanon certain interactions all you want, but this isn't like "the player chooses the genre of Elliott's future book." You have no impact on whether or not Shane cleans up his life. You support him at a few key moments, but the desire to change and be better comes from Shane, not the player.
FINALLY FINISHED THIS!! my own interpretation and additions to Sebastian's room in sdv ! Tried to keep anything in the image from the year 2010 or predated. i think theres a few give and takes but i really like the "older brother" early 2000s grunge aesthetic on another level and i thought who better fits it than him. I put a lot of references to stuff i personally like as well ^_^
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something something sebastian definitely has a slight southern drawl to his voice.
it’s more prevalent when he’s tired. his voice goes a little deeper, words less enunciated, and he’s long-forgotten putting on his pseudo-city accent to save face, to pretend that he isn’t part of pelican town.
it took him a while to figure out why you got so shy and flustered whenever the twinge of country-talk comes out to play, but he definitely uses it to his advantage once he realizes what’s going on.
“‘m going out to town later,” sebastian leans down to whisper next to your ear, a chaste kiss soon trailing from your shoulder to your neck, “need me to get ya’ anythin’ while i’m out?”
his head drops down then, nestling into the crook of your neck, while his arms wrap around you from behind. you’re stood frozen in shock, hands gripping at the kermit the frog themed coffee mug as you scrambled to find words — literally any words.
“or i could stay home…” sebastian’s words trailed off as his hand wandered into your (his) nightshirt with a tempting touch. “‘n we could go back to bed. wanna have some fun, darlin’?”
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you shittalked my partner one time so i’ve had one sided beef with you forever but now that we’re broken up i can say that you were in the right and have never been wrong in your life
why is this the actual funniest fucking message ive ever gotten
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